Chapter 2: Caged Beatdown
Phasing in and out of reality, my eyes flashed unfamiliar memories of people through my mind; seeking each and every warmth of comfort it could muster before darkness, and yet I still apologized for how I’ve become so low that I would die an unnoticeable death. “Ah, I’m going to die” with a loathsomely thought, all of my regrets are locked within forgotten memories that has the impossibility to be discovered. For what I was regretful for, I cannot remember; it was only then for a brief moment that I came back into reality to only catch glimpses of Alaine reaching her hand out and along with her distressed face of anguish; rain. Not like any other, but of sorrow and loss; its sad rhythmic beats follow me towards the ends of the earth, torturing me in all of its glory. Its telling of companionship deepened my sombering face which grew empty upon quick succession as I finally fell back into flashes of the uncanny warmth. Seeing the figure of my mother–her face; blanked, “I’m sorry mother..”. Seeing the figure of my father–his face; unread, “...Father..”. Seeing the clear figure of Nataline–her face, turned to me; welcoming with a smile of genuinity. “And…who..are you..?” The blood from my throat ruptures out as it overflows from the metallic debris lodged from within my lung, making me choke on my own blood as it slithers out each orifice of my face; and yet from within, it still tries to smuggle every sign of breath I could muster. Ignoring all of this discomforting pain, my unease still was on the girl who'd warmly smiled at me–as if she were an agape fiend. But before I’ve come to grasp the ends of an understanding shiver–the ground finally showed its brute by battering the brunt of my back. Rolling down its misshapen ground slope, my body doesn’t resist the fractures and twists of each pummel as the rock hardened ground breaks and disjoints my being. After its fiesta of joy breaking my body–I finally came to a stoppage; my body lay on its back. My eyes stared straight up at the muckful clouds, with a puffing of desperate breath; I breathed my final words. “I’m…S..orry…”, darkness fades into my vision as the world becomes glitched; I feel the beat of my heart no longer in-tuned with the earth's roar. The senses of taste and smell all numb to null as the sound of the winds finally clips my sense of being.
Darkness–its peril knows no bounds as my consciousness becomes one with its being again, it's been like this for–as long as existence wishes to exist. With each birth of a new life–it carries a darkness within their instinctual hearts, and upon their end; its cycle will inevitably beat until the decimation of all things. Though eventually out from the darkness will come a thump, a rumble; and a roaring muffle. The quivering dark shook as waves of its body wobbled like a gel that'd been impacted by a throwing stone. With an undetectable flipping of time and space; light punctured its sense of dark and it was then I remembered who I was. I panned around in the void of a gradient white and black for some time until I regained my sense of whole, the noticing of feeling none physicality nor weight didn’t become clear until I willed it within my mind–with only the reality I know; I know nothing else but of my limitations to my own cosmos. This in turn gives me an invisible weight along with an invisible ground for me to walk. Of my conscious memorizing but unable to remember each experience of the ever-after, the light shined ever bright but never burning my sense of a new vision. Instead–its harm has given me warmth; not just any warmth but a familial warmth I’ve only felt during my unremembered childhood; It was also then I remember every aspect of my person–from dislikes to likes, niches to hobbies and innocence to crimes. I’ve uninvitedly embraced my being contradictory to me willingly, and purposely trying to forget every aspect of myself before; leaving only a guilted husk which never knew of what crime he was to be guilty of. Ironicism at its finest. Although with all of my unwitting knowledge unlocking every sense of sin, my habit of paying attention elsewhere becomes the norm. Standing in the light were the figures of my parents–giving me smiles and welcoming me with unreadable yet embracing eyes. I was too far away to understand their expressions, I needed to get closer; to say hello, to apologize, and to embrace them in my arms. I needed to quench this sore that had taken me one last time before the end of my existence. I’ve reached out my hand–its tinted blue astral dissonance calling for my parents. Tup, Tup, Tup; the sounds of footsteps suddenly appeared; uncaring I was for not even thinking about it; Tup, Tup, Tup. Its sound falls fast–its beat, slow; Tup, Tup, Tup, I didn’t notice another presence until the face of my parents stinged at the sight of the one walking. It smiled with intention; letting them all know but me that I was now part of its being. Disgusting strands of negative cosmos gripped every part of me, holding me from moving forward and back. I struggled as best I could–to try and reach my parents who now have expressions of hesitation and complication. Putting a hand to my mothers shoulder, my father simply shook his head with a grudging disapproval before the both looked back at me with disheartened frowns. I too, took upon a frowning face of uncertainty as the negative swallowed me up.
With now a new darkness blocking my sense of light–my eyes of the dead become souless as the color of its shine fade into null. “Well ain’t that sad?” a voice vibratingley stated. I fastenley turned around to see another; me. But it was shifted–the placement for where my eyes should be are replaced with a bright yet unknowing glow; my soul is darkened of muck and ick with negative cosmic photons. Tinging a disgusting color–similar to a rotting purple, “W-Who-; Am I?” cutting my question, I was unable to ask before ‘it’ asked for me. “Well, I guess you can call me, God; Since I saved your life and all”. Shrugging its shoulders in a casual manner–its attitude for taking me away from my parents seem unsympathetic along with the behavior of inappropriate ‘teasing’. Looking around this void I soon spoke again, “Well..where are we anyway?” it looked around and said, “Honestly, I’m not too sure; usually the human consciousness would have something related to an earth biome and what-not”. With an understanding of unawareness; I lowered my guard enough to figure out where we were–but as soon as I did, the ‘thing’ decided to say something I am unwilling to answer. “My, my–maybe this IS a world we’re in; interesting–how very interesting…” I stared at it with puzzlement as it started smirking with my face–stretching my sinister smile ever so widely. “This might be the worst one yet!” rambling on about something I’m unable to comprehend–it chillingly spoke again, “I might like my new home!”. With the mixture of confusion and fear–my legs moved on their own, away I ran–not looking back at the creature who’ve taken my form; intended to take my place. “How about a deal?” It’s smug face appeared in front of me as if I haven’t even moved an inch to where I was, “Why don’t you rest a bit while I take over, hm?” Standing in shock, the control over my body won’t function to my commands. “Don’t worry, this won’t hurt–well at least not too much” closing in a finger towards my vision I am unable to resist as darkness once again surrounds my being–disconnecting me from the unconscious before transporting me towards my reality.
Flinching the lids of my eyes open, the ceiling of hardened concrete sand reminds me of the strange dream–but before I get to comprehend its familiarity, the sound of snuffling and sniffing to my side catches my attention. Turning my head to the sound of crying, I spot a weeping Alaine–curled up with her arms on the top of her knees and the base of her forehead resting on her arms. She looked up with teary eyes and the shape of her eyebrows furrowed as if they were going to weep a million. With the silent stare between the two of us, she finally comprehended that I wasn’t a dream. Her eyes widened with astonishment and shock before saying, “D-Dax..” Sitting in a corner with his head down, Dax paid no attention. “DAX!” Finally lifting his head up quickly his face grew worried, “H-He’s..” but before even saying anything–Alaine’s teary eyes burst into falls of pouring rain. She graspingley hugged me as if to make sure it wasn’t a fluke that I arose back from the dead. Her embrace was full of relief and guilt; I had no power but to accept her response and to worry about her mountaineering amount of tears and snot. Patting her back to try and comfort her, Dax seem’s to hold back a say as to let Alaine’s grief breath new air; finally letting go of me–Dax and Alaine sat next to each other, opposite to where I sat. his big brother instincts showed as he wiped a tear from Alaine’s face, making sure her streams of tears didn't leave any lasting marks. “So..Linden” he awkwardly asked, “What..can you remember before you ‘passed out’?”. I reframed a little before putting a hand to my chin to try and remember anything before I fell into unconsciousness. But all I could remember was the amount of pain and the sense of death gripping my soul. “I remember...falling off a cliff and then..nothing much after that..'' still sniffling–the brim of Alaine’s eyes became flushed; turning to her–Dax said, “You..want to let it all out?”. She lowered her head and stutteringly spoke, “I-It..was all my fault I couldn’t protect..Linden..”. Sobbing again, she wipes her tears away to try and compose her emotions. With another comforting pat, Dax looked at me with an unread expression and said, “Maybe we should take a break for the day, why don’t I fill you in later”. With the light burning into a cold pitch of dark, I felt something off about my senses; their sharpness of clearance has rather become adharrent to my advantage–and example could be as to my vision, its keen glows of lighting up my points of interest compliment my senses of hearing and smell. They can also be disrupted by the disturbance of the grinding and gnashing of Daxs’ teeth, alongside the slumbering noises Alaine admits. The point of sleep will never accept my invitation to become comfortable as long as these two machines are willing to operate soundly. Gathering up into a seat–then a stand, I walked around the room and observed my surroundings before coming across a small opening close to the top of the lowered ceiling. I stared out looking at the mucked sky–and there I felt a sense of empty. It was then I sat and thoughts began to run through my mind–clouding the reality of my vision which deluded me into thinking about the people I’ve seen before my blackout. My library of thoughts soon concluded as soon as her voice echoed in my mind, “Whatcha’ thinkin about?”. My moment of shock first revered themselves in my widened eyes and quickly the turning of my head wasn’t of my own will. Sitting next to me was..no one, my sense of reality has been compromised; knowing who or what I am isn’t the main issue anymore–it's now the ghosts that will follow me forever until the end of my days. Curling my arms and legs into a ball–I looked around out of fear before I finally rested my head onto my arms, shutting my eyes tight–I pray that the voice of reason goes and finds its own master.
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