Valentina

Akiko screamed like a little girl and released me.

I landed on my hands and paws, in full wolf form and poised to attack. Akiko retreated several steps, and for once she made a face other than the haughty one I’d grown to expect in the short time of making her acquaintance. If I hadn’t been in wolf form and trying to protect myself from her attack, I’d have laughed at her.

All bark and no bite, huh?

Fueled by adrenaline and my strength, I growled louder and lunged.

“I was just protecting you from seeing the groom before the wedding!” she exclaimed. I extended my claws and skidded to a full stop. “Kenji came into the garden and left as soon as he realized his error!”

I shifted back into my human form without further protest. I stood before Akiko as naked as I’d been on the day I was born. My cheeks burned, and bumps covered my arms at the sensation all of my flesh being exposed to the air. Quickly, she removed her cloak and wrapped it around my frame.

Nudity hadn’t bothered me before since shifting was common, but everything I did around my mother-in-law was under scrutiny. Not to mention, I had just embarrassed myself, big time. I wasn't really going to hurt her, though.

“I’m sorry for jumping to the wrong conclusion,” I said. Apologizing was all I could do in that situation. If I had said anything other than an apology, I’d have gotten an earful. Hidden Spear might have even forced my father to reprimand me. I probably would have even disappointed Dae, and I didn’t want to disappoint him—not after he’d been warm, welcoming, and helpful.

“I probably should’ve explained what I was doing. It must have seemed very odd, but that doesn’t excuse your shapeshifting!” Akiko began, her voice shaky as she adjusted the hem of her dress to the ground. She brushed a strand of hair behind her ear, clearly flustered and perturbed.

“I was simply acting on instinct.” I tugged the cloak she had given me around my body to hide any part of my nakedness from her. My loose hair cascaded down my back, and I pulled the braids on either side of my face to help cover my form.

Akiko returned to giving me her haughty and downright condescending glare. Her gaze was sharper than Antonio’s had ever been. “You need to fight your instincts. A high-class lady doesn’t shapeshift. That’s behavior only appropriate for men and servant women who need to do physical labor.”

The more I learned about Hidden Spear, the more surprised I grew. Shapeshifting was in my nature just as much as it was in hers. I stared at Akiko for a moment longer, wondering just how she could deny herself the very essence of her being. I wondered how long it’d been since she last shapeshifted, and whether it would loosen her up to once again see the world that only existed when experienced in that form.

Akiko was stuffy and mean and proper beyond measure. Questions without answers plagued my mind. When’s the last time she felt the earth beneath her paws? When’s the last time she saw the true colors of the water and wind?

And just who the hell would judge her for it if she did shift? The reigning Alpha? Her son?

“I take it by the look on your face that most Silver Ash women shapeshift often?” Akiko asked with a hint of disapproval.

Often was an understatement. Traveling in wolf form was one of my favorite ways to get around. I took joy in shifting. Lillian and I had first become friends as wolf pups. Matteo and I had one too many pup baths while our mothers gossiped. My father and I spent most of our bonding in wolf form. He’d been the one who taught me how to hunt. Antonio, as self serving as he was, had taught me how to fight. I had so many pleasant memories of my life in my wolf form.

I’m going to miss out on so much if I stop shapeshifting. I can’t run fast or hunt, either. But as much as I absolutely hated this new restriction on my life, I grinned and bore it. This was my mother-in-law, after all.

“Thank you for the advice. I won’t shift anymore,” I said, forcing the words out of my throat.

I didn’t promise … and it's better to ask for forgiveness than permission.

As my father’s consigliere, I knew that much. Some things called for action and forgiveness later.

With Akiko appeased, my mind wandered to something else: why was everyone so worried about me seeing Kenji? First Yuma, now Akiko. Maybe it's just another one of Hidden Spear’s bizarre traditions being taken to the extreme. Seeing him wouldn’t end the world.

My thoughts began to spiral again.

Or maybe there’s more to it? Maybe there’s something wrong with Kenji. Could he be deformed in some way, or hideously ugly? Is he mean, or dense?

Just as much as I hated the idea of not being able to shift anymore, I hated not being able to meet my betrothed before we exchanged vows. When I would make a commitment to him, I wouldn’t know his eyes or his scent, or if he liked chicken more than pork. I didn’t even know where he slept, and I wasn’t sure if I would ever be able to find him with his mother on my heels.

It was rather uncommon for an Alpha to be available for an arranged marriage in the first place, but I mulled over it a little longer, hoping to piece together some kind of plausible explanation. Antonio constantly had women throwing themselves at him. When Antonio turned sixteen, the floodgates had opened. Pushy mothers and their pushy daughters forced themselves into conversations with him and my father, and plenty had tried to befriend me in the absence of my mother. One year, Antonio had a record number of proposals. Silver Ash had a young population, and every eligible woman wanted a chance to be the future Alpha’s wife. After romancing many of them and having fun with the others, he had finally fallen in love and settled down.

Hmmm … maybe the reason Sunya was so insistent that I marry Kenji is because no Hidden Spear woman is willing to be with him. Kenji must be hideous, inside and out.

Being lost in my thoughts got me nowhere and an anxious sweat broke out across my flesh beneath my borrowed cloak as Akiko led me out of the garden. My breath caught in my chest at the possibility that I might have been brought there to marry some kind of monster. That’s got to be it.

Together, we walked through the halls, and I tied Akiko’s cloak around my form ‌as best I could in a way that resembled a halter dress. Wearing that cloak was the only way to restore “my honor” as a high-ranking-woman, as Akiko had put it. It would have to do until she let me return to my room. If she’d ever let me return to my room.

We passed an open doorway, and I paused when I glimpsed my father sitting alone inside the room. I halted, almost tripping over my own two feet, and I told Akiko I had to speak with him.

“That is fine. A daughter should prioritize her father,” she said.

I ran to him, and I would’ve done so even without her approval. After shutting the door behind me, I ran to Cassius so fast and fell into his arms so hard that all I could do was wrap my arms around him. He hugged me back and kissed my hair, chuckling deeply at my reaction to seeing him after only a few hours apart. I rubbed my face in his chest, reveling in his familiar scent. Home. He still smells like home.

“How are you doing?” he asked.

I peered up at him like I used to when I was a little girl being cradled against his chest. “I’m doing my best to stay strong, but I pretty much hate everything about this place. I have to give up every aspect of life that I enjoy and change my personality in order to be considered an acceptable wife.”

My father leaned down to kiss me again. This time, his lips landed on my forehead. “I’m so sorry,” he replied. “But you know deep down, you’ll always be your true self. No one can ever take that from you, no matter how many masks they make you put on.”

There was cold comfort in his words, and nothing about them made me feel better about the situation. I released my hold on him and retreated a step. He locked gazes with me, probably hopeful that his words of reassurance had landed. But my anger was back, and I couldn’t stop it from barreling from my lips in a rage.

“I’m doing everything I can to make you and Silver Ash proud, but you aren’t doing a damn thing to help me through this.” I didn’t know how to feel. I was angry at my father, and I wanted him to take me home so badly, it hurt.

His eyes widened, his expression revealing that he was stunned by my words. Cassius opened his mouth to speak, but the sound of an opening door stopped him. Behind me, Akiko entered with her hands folded in front of her.

“I’ve given you all the time that we can spare. Now it is time for us to begin the pre-wedding rituals,” she said.

I looked between her and my father, hoping that he’d speak up, but he said nothing. Jaw tight, I left with Akiko, bidding Cassius a silent farewell.