Talan

I lift my pizza and take a bite, glancing across the table at Amalia beside Kade, thinking about how he pulled her chair out for her. She didn't blink a surprised eye—actually, nobody did. I wonder if he always behaves that way toward her. Maybe he does, but it's just now standing out and bothering me.

While everyone talks and eats, Amalia reads a newspaper she took from a stack on the counter as we passed. It's the last time I saw her all over again. She hardly speaks and won't look at me, and I can't concentrate on everyone else's words. It seems like she's mad at me again. It's that, or she is leaning toward Kade from the looks of it.

"You okay, Talan?" Jasmine asks. "You're so quiet."

My eyes roam around the table, and everyone stares at me, including Amalia, who pops up from her paper. I notice it's a trading post. "Sure. I'm just tired from the long, early trip."

They all go back to their conversations. Jaxon and Mateo talk about a football game between their favorite NFL teams they watched last night. I glimpse over at Kade and Erik. Erik is telling Kade about a Civil War documentary he had watched on The History Channel, and Kinsley is paying deep attention to whatever Erik says.

I'm not hungry, but I lift another slice of pizza. I don't know why everyone feels like they need to feed me.

"Talan, do they have a state-of-the-art gym on campus? I can tell you made some gains." Jaxon stretches, positioning his arms into a loose double bicep pose. "But you're still not as big as me."

Oh, oh, here we go! I finally have a reason to smile.

Jaxon has a classic football player build, and like Mateo, he lifts weights constantly and looks larger than he did last fall. I'll give him that. He always wears those damn preppy dress-up sweaters, though. I reach over and poke the front of his shoulder, insinuating he's soft and possibly padded. "Dude. How many sweaters are you wearing under there?"

Jaxon's face twists in insult. "I'm not wearing another sweater!"

Kade and Erik laugh. It takes Mateo, Jasmine, and Kinsley a second to catch on. Amalia pays no attention.

"One point for Talan," Erik says, holding up his index finger. That's a game we played a lot when we were younger. We scored our verbal jabs at each other by how funny we thought they were. All it did was egg us on and sometimes piss us off.

Jaxon laughs under his breath. "Okay, you got me."

Amalia lifts her head and almost smiles.

"For real, though, Talan. What's your new boxing club like?" Jaxon asks.

"It's good." Everyone's gazing at me, so I elaborate. "It's a good-sized team, a smorgasbord of new fighters to practice with, but I hoped it was better. A lot of the guys have been boxing for a long time, like me. But, as far as worthy sparring competition my age goes, just like our club, few are my class."

I feel the joke coming with the grin that splits Jaxon's face. "That's because you don't have any."

I snicker and say, "Yeah, I walked straight into that one."

Erik put his thumb down as Kade says, "Five points."

I flick my crumpled napkin at Kade's face and continue. "That being said. I'm moving up now, so I'm lifting, eating, eating, and lifting."

Mateo offers me some tips and then reminds Jasmine about his last Pac-Man high score, making me remember their infatuation with Pac-Man and Ms. Pac-Man and their obsession with outscoring one another.

Jasmine says, "I'll remind you. I beat your score the last three times before that and accept your challenge. The loser does the dinner dishes for a week."

Mateo says, "Let's get it." They head for the game room, filled with classic video arcade games, a pool table, and a foosball table.

One by one, everyone else follows except for Amalia, me, and Jaxon.

A few minutes afterward, when Jaxon quits munching one of the last slices of pizza left on the pan, he says, "So, Talan, how's the girl situation in Chemawa?"

Leave it to him to ask something like that right in front of Amalia. She looks up. The curiosity in her gaze feels like a spotlight shining on me in the dead of night.

"Typical." I stretch my arms overhead, trying to act casual and avoid glaring at him.

"Typical? So ... are you saying you're seeing one or ten?" He laughs, his expression instigating. He's hell-bent on being a pain in the ass.

I know what he wants her to hear from me: that I have a girlfriend. "None." Squirming, I sneak a glance at Amalia and see her make a face, but I'm unsure if it's at me or her obnoxious brother.

Jaxon gives me a closed-lip grin, then stands and moseys into the game room, leaving me and Amalia alone. I suspect he knows I have a thing for her and wants to ensure nothing happens between us.

We're quiet after he leaves. She can't be reading that paper. It's a trading post, for cripes' sake!

As I stare at her, flexing my hands under the table, a nervous tick, I wonder how our conversation would have gone if Kade hadn't interrupted us. Though curious, what she may have been on the verge of saying worries me, so I leave it alone. I already feel fucked up from her distant behavior toward me, and I don't need to make things worse for myself.

As an icebreaker, I excitedly share. "I didn't get into any fights!"

I could tell Amalia didn't like it when I got into street fights, so I controlled myself at school this time. I wanted to show her I cared about her feelings even though there were one or two loudmouths I wanted to punch out and some self-proclaimed tough guys looking to try me.

She lifts her head in response and makes eye contact, her full, long eyelashes quivering as she smiles. "I'm happy to hear that. I'm proud of you."

God, she's beautiful.

The moment becomes awkward as she drops her head again, so I tell her they're playing pool to evade more silence. "Come on. Let's take on the winners."

"I'm still not very good at pool."

"I'll help you through it."

"Easier said than done." She laughs, lifting her head, and seeing a sparkle in her eyes feels fantastic. "But I'll do it."

Stepping into the arcade is like stepping into the 80s. Not that someone decorated it this way, someone never remodeled it. It's no wonder Jasmine and Mateo love this place. 

Jaxon and Kade beat Kinsley and Erik, so they're our opponents. As usual, Jaxon's bragging about how good a shot he is. I put my quarters on the table. Jaxon lifts his chin to me. "Do they have a pool table in the dormitory? I bet you still can't beat me."

"We'll see. Amalia's my partner."

Jaxon laughs. "Now I know you won't beat me."

Amalia throws him a dirty look. "Shut up, Jaxon."

I ignore him, racking the balls for the game. Kade shoots first, but nothing falls inside a pocket. I study the table, then tell Amalia what ball to aim for. She's played before, so she just needs a little guidance.

With her first shot, the white ball jumps a foot high, flying straight for my head, barely missing me. I guess she hasn't played pool for a while. Everyone gets their kicks from it—except for Mateo and Jasmine, who are glued to their screens—and Jaxon starts with his teasing. "I don't understand how someone who can get an A in geometry can't play pool worth a damn."

"I told you to shut up!" She lifts the pool stick as if to whack him with it.

I'd love for her to hit him. "So, what? I can play pool but can't get an A in geometry. That was just a practice shot. Give her another chance," I say.

"I'm telling you, Talan. You don't stand a chance against me, no matter how many tries she gets."

It's in through one ear and out the other. Blocking Jaxon out, I give Amalia more straightforward instructions. "I'll line up the cue ball against the ball to shoot and the pocket I want you to aim for. All you have to do is hit the spot I point at on the white ball."

"It works, Ama. That's how he taught me how to play," Kinsley says.

Amalia leans over the pool table, holding on to the pool stick, her hand shakier this time, and aims at where I'm pointing. She pulls the stick back and shoots, but the stick goes upwards, nicking the white ball. Her face flushes, and she looks cute. The white ball only moves a tad. Jaxon and Erik laugh.

"If we could have taught her how to play, we would've by now." Jaxon says, and Erik nods.

Amalia frowns, rolling her eyes.

It pisses me off whenever they treat her this way. Jaxon's wearing on my nerves big time, and I grumble, telling him to be quiet and take his turn. "It's a wonder she's willing to try anything with you two jokes for brothers."

Erik insists I don't lump him in with Jaxon. I'm over it, trying to shift into some helpful concentration.

Jaxon runs the table for three balls before he misses. He always was an excellent shot. It's my turn, and I hit two balls. Kade shoots next. He makes one. It's Amalia's turn again. She offers the stick to Erik. "Here, you do it."

She wants to quit, but I won't let her give up because of knucklehead Jaxon. "Just take it slow, Ama. You'll get it this time."

She huffs, leaning over the pool table to shoot. I line up everything with my eyes again and point at a spot.

"Talan, she needs to learn how to hold the cue stick another way," Kade says.

An urgent tone rises from Kinsley. "Show her how, Kade." She whips her head toward me, quieting her voice. "Or somebody." It's as if she made a split-second chess move for Kade. I might have become more disgruntled if I hadn't witnessed the instant regret in her eyes and the downward curving of her mouth. But I understand Kinsley's hope for her brother to fulfill his wish, so I bury the aggravation under my skin.

I couldn't focus since leaving Amalia's room, and now I missed the chance to assist her. It sucks.

Kade shows her how he holds the cue stick, then wraps his arms around Amalia and leans over her to guide her. Bitter envy burns through me. Even though it's innocent, I can't stand to watch, so I turn away until they finish.

"I'm ready, Talan."

We try again, and she hits the mark on the white ball where I'm pointing. The number seven ball goes straight into the pocket I called. She jumps up and down. Erik and Kinsley clap for her while Mateo calls out from across the room, "Good job, sweetheart," and Jasmine says, "Yay."

Jaxon slaps Kade on the shoulder. "You're supposed to be on my side."

She knocks two more balls down before she misses. We continue the cycle and tie the game at Kade's turn. He hits the white ball too hard and scratches. It's Amalia's turn again, and we only have one ball left, plus the eight-ball, like them. She makes our last colored ball. Jaxon's face is mad-red. I can't help but laugh at him. He hates losing, and I know he didn't want to lose to me or Amalia. Worst yet, me and Amalia.

"The eight ball will be trickier because we'll need to bank it," I say.

Amalia asks, "What's that?"

"We have to hit the eight ball so it bounces off the side of the table before it goes into the pocket we call." I line it up for her, but she misses it. "That's all right. It was a hard shot to make."

It's Jaxon's turn now. He hits their last striped ball inside the pocket, then goes for the eight ball, shooting it straight in without banking it, yelping, and raising both arms. "Woo-hoo!"

"You didn't bank it!" We all complain at once.

"Who said we had to?" Jaxon says with a smug expression. "I don't recall hearing that rule being made at the start of the game."

I argue with him. "You knew that's how we were playing it. So, we won because you didn't bank it."

"Nope!" Jaxon chuckles, strutting around the pool table to return his pool stick to the pool stick rack hanging on the wall, with no shame.

"Pfft." I flick the back of my hand at him and look at Amalia. "He can gloat all he wants. Everyone's on our side, anyway, including his partner." As I had done countless times before, I wink at her, but she doesn't smile like she used to. 

As we leave the Pizza Palace, it's sleeting outside, so we all hurry across the parking lot.

Kade has his hand on Amalia's lower back, so she doesn't slip. As he escorts her to their vehicle to ensure she gets inside safely, Kinsley and I wait for him in my car. Nobody finds his behavior toward Amalia over the top, not even Jaxon with his watchful eye; it's a nightmare I can't wake from. Then again, Kade has always had the freedom to treat her special, a luxury I never had.

The anger and jealousy I feel seems so tangible that it could seep through my skin. Trying to calm down, I run my fingers underneath my sweatshirt's collar as if I could release the pent-up jealousy before Kade gets into my car. I'm mildly paranoid that Kinsley can sense the steam.

I had stuffed a duffle bag with clothes to stay in town for a few days, but feel like I can't handle another minute in this shit storm.

Kade tugs open the passenger-side door, brushing the sleet from his coat. He drops into the seat and turns up the radio with a cheerful vibe as strong as my depressed one.

Fuck this!

No matter how unbearable it gets, I'll stay in New Sable because I'm not giving up on Amalia that easily. At the same time, I'm unsure if I should stick around, afraid of making the situation worse. The terrible part is that I don't even know what situation I'm in or how the hell I got into it since my last conversation with Amalia before I left for school.

Leaving the parking lot, I can't wait to pulverize either Kade's heavy bag or mine at home.