"So how are you, Tyler?" The doctor asked with a tinted tone and neutral expression.
"I'm fine," Tyler replied with little detail as he fiddled with the seam of one of the pillows.
"I'll clarify my question, how was your week? Have you been stressed, anxious lately?" asked the doctor while writing things down.
Tyler was curious about what the doctor wrote, since he had virtually nothing.
"My week went well, I wasn't particularly stressed or anxious, just sad," gently stated gently state Tyler.
"May I ask the reason for your sadness then?" asked the doctor, listening.
"It doesn't really change from usual," Tyler replied with a shrug while continuing to focus on the seams without ever looking at the seams "I always end up thinking about her".
"Do you think about her often lately?"
"I don't know, sometimes it's okay, and sometimes I feel like I'm only thinking about her."
"And what are your thoughts when you think about her?"
"I was just a burden to her in the end, and that she left me for who I really was."
"And who are you really?" asked The Doctor.
"I'm just someone who is broken and is a burden."
"Do you still think your condition defines you?"
"Sometimes I feel like that's all I am, because all she saw was my state, as you say."
"I'm going to repeat myself, Tyler, but your condition does not define who you are, and it does not make you broken. It just means you need more support and help than someone else."
"I understand, Doctor, that my condition doesn't define me, but it's hard for me to think otherwise when the one I loved clearly spat in my face that I was broken and impossible to love ."
"I understand, Tyler, that it can be difficult for you to think differently, especially when the person you love and trust is throwing all your insecurities and greatest fears in your face. And you are making great progress, before I end the session, however, I would like you to read the book that I am going to send you on mental illness and relationships for the next session which is in 2 weeks. I would have offered you group therapy, but I know you are not yet comfortable enough for that", said the doctor.
Tyler felt exhausted after therapy. Therapy always drained him emotionally, and he always felt a little vulnerable afterwards. That's why he always tried to take a nap after therapy to calm down, to rest. His family always left him alone after therapy, they knew very well that he was much too vulnerable after therapy to attack him as they usually did.
As he woke up from his nap, Tyler felt quite rested and like a weight had been lifted off his chest. Therapy was always difficult for him because he wasn't used to baring his soul in front of someone else. However, over time, and after several attempts with other psychologists, he finally found the doctor with whom he felt quite comfortable. And even though each session was exhausting, he knew that it helped him tremendously to talk.
Tyler quickly remembered that he had to buy his birthday present. He had almost forgotten after his long nap. He told his parents and brothers that he would be gone. Then he went to the mall.
While he was deciding which food processor to choose, a salesman came to him to help him.
"Hello young man, I see that you can't make up your mind, tell me what exactly are you looking for," asked a saleswoman who was far too enthusiastic.
"I'm actually looking for a good food processor, but I don't really know anything about cooking," Tyler admitted with his usual charming smile, which made the saleswoman blush.
"Oh, uh- yes, first tell me what dishes you want to cook with the robot?" blushed the saleswoman, stammering.
"It's not really for me, it's a gift," Tyler said.
"Oh I see, does your gift recipient cook a lot?" asked the now curious saleswoman.
"All the time, he cooks everything actually" informed Tyler with a slight smile.
"I see. I advise you a pick multifunction food processor so that the person can prepare all types of dishes, although it is more expensive "
"It's perfect for me and I don't mind the price," said Tyler, visibly excited about the gift.
"It's very nice of you to offer this to your girlfriend, I'm sure she will love it".
"There is a mistake, it is not for my girlfriend, it is for a friend of mine that Im giving this to my best friend in fact. "
"Oh sorry sir, I should say your boyfriend then," apologized the saleswoman, offering him a wink as if he shared a secret.
"He's not my boyfriend".
"Don't worry, your secret is safe with me," informed the saleswoman, who was too proud of herself.
Tyler decided to abandon all attempts to protest and let her believe what she wanted to believe. He didn't know if she was doing it on purpose, or if she really thought Jonas was his boyfriend, but he didn't have time to try to reason with her.
Here in San Francisco, a large portion of the population was gay, as many people from the LGBT community liked to move to San Francisco due to tolerance. It was no secret that San Francisco was the most LGBT-tolerant city in the United States, and there were plenty of gay neighborhoods too. In San Francisco, it was impossible to meet a homophobe. The town was made up of gay parents, young and old gay couples. You can even see little kids of the same sex kissing and holding hands, which Tyler thought was adorable even though he would never admit it.
There were many associations for the community and even therapies were set up for those who had trouble accepting themselves or for those who had undergone conversion camps. The mayor of San Francisco had also implemented mandatory special programs on sexuality in schools.
Tyler had taken these classes and found them actually quite interesting and above all rewarding. He had learned things about sex and sexuality that he didn't even know existed.
Tyler was even often hit on by men. Even though he didn't like men, it was good for his ego to see he was so wanted. Once he had been picked up by a man on a family outing, he had been so embarrassed by his brothers because he hadn't stopped teasing him after that.
"Would it be possible to bag it as a gift?"
"Of course, come with me to the cashier, and I'll do it for you right away." As Tyler finished paying, the saleswoman finished wrapping the gift. She let him go although not without shouting that his boyfriend was a lucky guy, in front of all the other customers. Tyler felt so embarrassed after that he left the store early without even taking the time to say goodbye.
He hoped he would never see her again, and he was glad his brothers were not around.
As he looked at the time, he noticed that it was time to head to Jonas's birthday party. As he walked to Jonas's he began to feel tired, despite the nap he had taken. Nevertheless, he jolted himself awake, which seemed to work.
Arriving in front of Jonas's house, he heard noise and music. The others had already arrived.
Don't hesitate to read to give me your opinions and leave comments as well as likes if you liked it; it's very important for me to know what you think! 😊
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