If I hadn’t been born in the first place, I’m sure our Mother would still be alive. Father wouldn’t have that sad look on his eyes as he gazed at us, and Louis wouldn’t need to stare at her portrait in longing for a mother.
Our Father wouldn’t have to worry about a sick daughter, my brother wouldn’t need to feel burdened to take care of a sick sibling, and he wouldn’t need to tremble and cry at the sight of my seizures.
Moreover, I’m sure then that our family wouldn’t have to seclude ourselves. Father wouldn’t have to worry about leaving the house and his children on their own. My brother would be free to roam and make friends. I’m sure that our family would’ve been much happier if only I wasn’t born.
Still, thinking about these things wouldn’t change anything.
I desired to live. I’ve become greedy after receiving all that love. I wanted happiness too, even if I didn’t deserve it.
“Do you think we could be happier in this life?”
Louis asked as if reading my mind. I hummed in thought.
“Maybe. But we have to survive first.”
It would be difficult.
Even without the Witch’s involvement, I would still die. My life is already in danger at the moment that I wondered if I can even last a year.
“You have to live.”
Louis told me with a strong gaze. He seemed resolute. I smiled.
“I’ll try my best, and you should too.”
-Knock knock!
We turned towards the door at the sound and found Father leaning at the door as he looked at us.
“Why aren’t you two asleep yet? It’s getting late.”
He asked.
At his words, Louis and I giggled as we shuffled, trying to get underneath the blanket. Father walked towards us, tousled both our heads then helped us get tucked warmly in the bed. He smiled.
“The two of you should just focus on being children and be happy. Leave the worrying to the adults, alright?”
His gaze was warm and full of worry when he said that.
“I’ll kick the old man out if he’s the problem.”
Father grumbled, causing both of us to laugh.
“Goodnight Dad.”
“Goodnight.”
Me and Louis said respectively.
“Yes, goodnight my children.”
Father gave us both a loving peck on the forehead and a few pats before standing up, turning off the lights and leaving.
The next day, the Pope left early in the morning, apparently because Father wanted him gone as soon as possible. But before he did, he spoke to us again briefly.
“Your Highness.” he began, looking at me. “Don’t think that you are unwanted. And don’t hate the Goddess too much. When we met, she told me that you are the human part of her, and that she cherished you just as much as she had her other children. The Goddess is you, but you are not her. Do not fear, because while you were born from tears, your existence does not bring misfortune.”
The Pope had a gentle smile, while my mouth hung agape, having a hard time comprehending what he said.
“Both of your miseries have caused the humans to betray her once more. However she gave the world a third chance for the sake of the children who suffered in misery that they aren’t due. And she told me to tell you that she leaves this world in your hands.”
He also said the Goddess had her reasons on why she couldn’t tell us that herself. That reason was something that Father would tell us in due time, and we are free on whether or not we want to believe what he said.
The faith towards the Goddess is centered around asking for forgiveness. And the people of the Holy Empire devoted themself just to that.
For centuries, besides the prophecy, the Goddess did not answer any of their prayers, and the people continuously suffered. Because of that, she wasn’t known to be merciful. Yet despite all that, she never once neglected the House of Aleister.
She blessed them with a Holy Grail before she left, which protected them from harm against natural disasters and monsters. The territory of the House of Aleister never once suffered from hunger despite the coldness of the north, and Saints and the strongest Holy Knights never failed to be born from their family throughout the generations.
This bias allowed the House of Aleister to become the most influential, rich, and powerful household within the empire that is no weaker than the Imperial Family themselves.
It’s one of the Holy Empire’s biggest wonders as Aleisters aren’t exactly the most devoted followers of the Goddess.
Which is why, although the Goddess wasn’t known to be merciful, she was said to care greatly and bless those who are in her favor.
Perhaps she hadn’t abandoned her children just yet.
The Goddess had given us another chance, because she wanted us to be happy. And whether to forgive this world or not, she leaves the decision in my hands.
The Pope left as soon as he finished what he meant to deliver. Meanwhile, I spent the entire day dazed after what I heard.
“See? I was right.”
Louis said, pushing a platter of sweets in front of me and patting my head.
“You are the light that brings me happiness and my lovely little treasure.”
Louis had a bright smile on his face, while I only nodded quietly.
“Mmmn.”
Louis pulled out a handkerchief from his pocket and started wiping tears from my face that I didn’t even know was flowing.
I lived my whole life believing that I was a Curse that brought misfortune to the people around me. But the Goddess herself said that isn’t true.
Frankly, I wished she could’ve told me sooner, but I was thankful that she even bothered to say so in the first place.
It gave me the hope which I was desperately searching for.
***
Boxes piled up as high as the ceiling and boxes still wont stop coming in. It was all filled with luxurious things like dresses, parasols, jewelry…it was too much.
“Fa-Dad, I thought you said that you wouldn’t go overboard.”
Louis had an incredulous look on his face as he gazed up on the enormous pile.
“I didn’t realize that it was that many.”
Father simply said, causing Louis and I to stare at him in disapproval. But as if not caring about this, Father cheerfully smiled.
“Well, how about you two try some on?”
In his words, Chris came in with a bunch of servants in tow. Usually, such servants wouldn’t be permitted to come near us, but we had no choice since there’s too many boxes to sort ourselves.
“Ahh…” Father spoke, “Just pick one or two dresses you would like to try on, my daughter. You mustn’t exert yourself.”
“Yes yes…”
Louis ended up going through the dress-up process first since he got more stamina than me. While he did that, Father and I sat together with some refreshments, enjoying the sight.
“My brother, you are too beautiful in anything you wear.”
“That’s a given since I'm so beautiful.”
I praised as I clapped my hands and Louis replied arrogantly. But no one felt offended in what he said since he was right. Instead, everyone nodded in sync.
Louis was just too beautiful for this world that even I, his sister who sees his face everyday, couldn’t help but fangirl. In fact, I was itching to grab a canvas and start drawing in order to capture the moment.
“Anyways, I’ve tried on enough outfits, it’s your turn, Cena.”
“Eh?”
I want to see more tho…
“Hmm…but what do you think looks best on her Dad, I can’t choose.”
Louis asked, causing Father to humm in thought.
“It’s difficult since everything looks nice. But we do have to choose.”
It took a while but Louis and Father put their heads together, and also with the help of Chris and Hans, they were able to pick two for me to try on.
“You should start wearing more dresses like these from now on.”
“Yes, you’re beautiful.”
Louis smiled as he said, while Father nodded in agreement.
“Cena, come here.”
Father stood up and picked up a necklace with an amethyst pendant and beckoned me over. He then fastened the necklace around my neck and gazed proudly at the finished look.
“Now we match!”
Louis jumped excitedly and caught me in a hug.
“If I had known you two would be this happy, I would’ve bought more of this sooner.”
“Even if we had no use for it?”
“Who says that you can’t dress up at home? If it makes you happy, then you don’t need another reason.”
Father really has his way with words. It, without a doubt, made us happy. With a light and fuzzy feeling settled in my chest, I smiled.
Soon…
It didn’t take long to prepare to move to the capital. After a few days of arranging things and packing, we were ready to go.
“I leave the castle to you, Esen.”
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