“Please don’t cry.” Byxx coaxed with a gentle squeeze. Curtis nestled into the divot in Byxx’s chest and weeped pitifully. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Curtis.”
“No, you were right; I’m a failure.” Curtis lamented while prying himself away. “A miserable failure. Just a disgusting slob with no hope and no future. I’m the biggest joke you've ever seen.”
Byxx felt his jaw tighten from the strain of keeping himself composed. He hadn’t meant to belittle the poor fellow, but Byxx’s brand of “tough love” was completely ineffective with Curtis. Instead of inspiring him to do better, his ruthlessness over the last few sessions had stripped away the last of Curtis’s armor, leaving him helpless and exposed.
“You’re not a joke to me.” Byxx confessed, running his thumb against Curtis’s cheek to tame an errant tear. “I’m sorry I made you believe otherwise. The training didn’t seem to be working and I… There’s no excuse…”
A long, heavy silence hung in the air, choking the enthusiasm from both men.
“I… I don’t know how else to live my life.” Curtis lowered his head. “Things have stagnated at work, and I can’t expect to earn any more than I make now if I stay at the Busy Bee Café. If I don’t change anything now, it’d be like saying everyone was right about me, about how big of a disappointment I am.”
Byxx was no stranger to failure. He’d had some serious gaffs in his many years and had to rebuild his life from scratch several times already. A key difference between them was that at least Byxx had some measure of support throughout his life. Curtis didn’t have the luxury of a powerful guild to fund his shortfalls, and was truly on his own to pick up the fragments of his life.
“No one who matters is disappointed in you.” Byxx proclaimed with quiet confidence, drawing Curtis’s gaze back to his amber eyes. “If you’d permit an old soldier to be proud of you… I haven’t seen a more determined person in ages. You never give up. I’ve seen it.”
“That’s because I’m stubborn and foolish.” Curtis threatened to spiral.
“You’re relentless, Curtis.” Byxx’s words sounded infinitely sweeter than either could have imagined. “Many others would have given up after day one, but here you are, still standing here... You’re a force of nature.”
Curtis rested his head against Byxx’s chest and allowed his breathing to stabilize and gentle gray eyes to close. He listened intently at the soft, rhythmic tempo of the archfiend’s heartbeat, and reached his weary arms around Byxx’s torso for a hug. He had no strength left to latch onto him anymore and his arms trembled from the effort.
“Thank you.” Curtis mumbled, causing Byxx’s heart rate to accelerate as the weary human listened closely. Though Iris and Ramona had tried before, neither had the right words to calm Curtis’s troubled spirits. “I needed to hear that.”
Without realizing what he was doing, Byxx ruffled the coarse, sandy hair on Curtis’s head with delicate movements. It was something he liked to have done to his own hair, which sent tingling sensations down his entire head and neck. It worked the same way with this human, as Curtis’s arms slunk listlessly to his sides at the contact.
“Well, I think you’ve definitely earned a break.” Byxx pulled his hand away as Curtis gave a barely audible displeased whimper. “How about we spend the rest of our time on making a healthy meal?”
Despite how hot his face was, and the infernal temperature of his trainer, Curtis didn’t want this hug to end. A rumble of hunger forced him to recoil with a freshly flushed face, prompting Byxx to chuckle with crinkled eyes and a warm smile.
The air was crisp, the fish were plentiful, and the sailing was easy from their proud perch in the middle of the river. Despite such favorable conditions, Gerry couldn’t help but notice how sullen his sailing partner looked with his slumped shoulders and disengaged stare.
“What’s troublin’ ya, lad?” Gerry asked as he pulled another slippery fish into the creaky fishing boat. “You're awfully quiet again today. Trouble at home?”
“I guess you could say that.” Zayzann tugged at the billowy tank top Iris had lovingly tailored for him last week. “You remember me mentioning my roommate, right?”
A nod from Gerry encouraged him to continue.
“Well, lately I’ve been getting this awful feeling every time she leaves the apartment for work.” Zayzann feebly untangled the line on his fishing rod with shaking fingers. “It’s been getting worse over the last two weeks. Like an itching, annoying feeling that keeps irritating me.”
Gerry listened patiently, set down his gear, and maintained eye contact with Zayzann. For the first time in his life, it was like having his son come to him for advice. Even if Henry wanted nothing to do with him, the old fellow still had some worthwhile advice to give to this young man he’d grown close to.
“I can’t stand it when she spends time with everyone else.” Zayzann continued. “When she picks them over me, I… I get so upset, I—”
The line snapped in his hand under the tremendous force Zayzann unintentionally exerted. Fortunately, this was a common problem, and Gerry had a ton of extra line back at the house to repair the breakage. It was about time for them to head back anyway, as the sun threatened to vanish behind the westerly city skyline.
“Don’t worry about it, son.” Gerry comforted as he reached out for the fishing pole. “Happens all the time. As for the rest, is this roommate your girlfriend?”
“Girlfriend?” Zayzann didn’t understand the term, having only a limited exposure to Earth’s social constructs. “What do you mean?”
“Maybe I’ve been outta the game too long.” Gerry scratched at his scraggly gray beard stubble. “Back in my day, she was the person you went steady with. Your partner, or lover, or somethin’ like that.”
“I look after her. Is that the same thing?” Zayzann wasn’t comfortable revealing that they shared a bed just yet, even if it was just for sleeping.
“Could be, could be.” Gerry frowned as he tried to form the best response. He was by no means a relationship expert, and his own family had left him many years ago. “Well, you might wanna find out where ya stand with this girl. Talk about your relationship, especially if you wanna grow it.”
“And what then?” Zayzann leaned closer, soaking up Gerry’s advice, and running scenarios through his head. “What if I’m still not sure?”
“If that don’t work, you can’t go wrong with a good present.” Gerry winked.
“Present?”
“Yeah, son. Something she wants or needs.” Gerry gave Zayzann an affable pat on the back where his wing blade twitched beneath human skin. “Find something that’d make her happy and show you’re interested in her.”
This was a revelation to the Paxoram, whose eyes went wide at the idea. Gifts were a common part of courting rituals back on Zhalterra, but he’d never been interested in participating in all that work, just to get a watch-mate. It didn’t occur to him that he’d need to entice Iris, as she had asked for him to stay with her first.
“You’re right. I never thought of that.” Zayzann gathered the gear with renewed enthusiasm as they approached the dingy dock. “What should I get her?”
“Oh, hell, man. Every lady’s different.” Gerry shook his head, unable to produce a more concrete answer. “You can always keep an eye on her. Or better yet just ask.”
Zayzann was bursting with energy from this productive visit. Not only had he secured a generous supply of fish for the week, but also created a helpful strategy to get closer to Iris. Gerry watched Zayzann heft their catch to shore with an aged, crooked smile that warmed his weary bones.
“Come on, Gerry.” Zayzann urged as he schlepped the heavy load that creaked the dock as he walked. “I need to get home and get to work.”
Young fella’s all fired up. Gerry hobbled after the eager Paxoram. I hope he hears what he wants ta hear.
The entire ride back to the apartment complex was a blur of stories from Gerald’s past. Zayzann wanted to learn everything he could about human courting rituals, even if they were a few decades out of date. He pressed for as many details as Gerry could remember, soaking up each memory like a sponge.
“I must’a spent a fortune on that ring.” Gerry cracked a wistful grin. “It was the second loveliest thing in the house, next to my partner, that is. Never did end up getting married, but—”
“Married?” Zayzann stared so unblinkingly that his eyes dried out. He’d forgotten that humans didn’t have nictitating membranes, and he rubbed his scratchy eyes ferociously. “What do you mean?”
“Married, son.” Gerry tilted his head. “Didn’t you ever wanna settle down, an’ have a family?”
Family.
The word left a hollow, sinking feeling in Zayzann’s chest. Memories of a difficult, challenging childhood on Zhalterra flooded his mind, awakening a sleeping part of him that yearned for connection. Zayzann was the runt of his tribe’s young that season and had an incredibly tough time finding his place among peers, especially after his parents passed away. Did he even remember what it was like to have a family?
“I hadn’t thought about it, honestly.” Zayzann lowered his head and cast his gaze outside the rickety truck. “I didn’t think I’d ever find someone for me out there.”
“Why not? You’re a good-lookin’ guy.” Gerry complimented Zayzann as they approached the highway exit leading to the apartments. “Besides, what about your roommate? Do you think she’d make a good partner?”
Zayzann paused to linger on the idea of taking a human as a mate. There were several concerns that came to mind immediately, including whether they were even physically compatible with each other. Would Iris be willing to take a non-human companion? Was she healthy enough to endure his affection?
“I think so, but she’s got a lot of health problems.” Zayzann admitted with a brief glance back at Gerry. “And I’m worried about making life harder for her.”
She’s defective. The intrusive thought rattled the inside of Zayzann’s skull. Damaged.
Zayzann’s ancient instincts kicked into overdrive, giving him a tremendous headache. Paxoram were hard-wired to seek out mates that gave them the best chance to raise another generation of adaptable offspring, and Iris was anything but. Even if she could give him the family he wanted, what were the chances that she’d even survive?
“That’s a tough one, kiddo.” Gerry sympathized as they rounded the corner and passed the bus station on the way to the apartment complex. “I dunno the right answer for you.”
He weighed the facts critically, without regard for his own fondness for her, and arrived at a disheartening conclusion. Iris was clearly unsuitable as a partner. It was as simple as that. Just like any of the numerous contenders back home, with their flaws and shortcomings, Zayzann couldn’t risk attaching himself to someone weak or dependent. He’d resolved to simply not liking her as anything more than a watch-mate until she could send him home.
This plan lasted for all of two minutes, as Gerry pulled the decrepit truck into the apartment parking lot and cast his headlights on a black sedan in their parking place. The lights shone on the familiar tall human with auburn hair and a tailored suit, opening the passenger door for Iris to step out of the car.
Unknown to Gerry, Zayzann’s eyes dilated enormously to take in as much light and information as possible. It took every ounce of willpower he possessed not to growl at the unwelcome interloper.
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