✦Chapter 5✦
Best And Worst Memories
My ride to the Starlight Inn is uneventful as Ellyn's words of comfort slowly fade away. What if he hates me? What if I hate him? I shake off my worries and glance out the window, just to be captivated by the gorgeous sunset hovering over my favorite lake, Lake Midnight. Named after it's deep blue waters, the beautiful lake was quite famous. Wistfulness hits hard. This place held some of my fondest memories of when my mother was still alive. Though my most recent experience, a few years ago was somewhat traumatizing. The last time I was here, Ellyn pushed me in. An accident of course but that doesn't change the fact that I didn't know how to swim and neither did she. Father wasn't there at the time and the only reason I didn't die was becasue of a mysterious boy. He jumped in fully clothed and brought me to the surface. If only I'd been able to repay him, he disapeared shortly after I regained conciousness.
"Miss Ellanor? The Inn is just up ahead."
I nod to the coachman before gathering my things and throwing my cloak on. Nervousness crowds my senses again as I pull my hood over my somewhat tousled curls. Cassius is to find me ahead of dinner and I'm not sure how it will go. I've never courted before though many have told me I have undeniable beauty. I had no interest in men prior to this though I would hardly call an arranged marriage interest. The carriage door opens and the driver offers me his hand. I step down and enter the lodge.
"Welcome to The Starlight Inn, how can I help you?"
A woman with blonde hair tied up stands at the desk, a small bell with a sign that reads ring for service sits in the corner.
"I need a room for the night. My name is Ellanor Daelyn."
I pull out my coin pouch, which father filled with silver, copper and gold coins before I left.
"Of course, two silvers for night."
I hand her the money for my stay and she gives me the key. My luggage isn't very heavy since I didn't know what to pack so it doesn't take long to settle in. The room itself looks The Midnight Lake's dark waters and I hear the ghost of Ellyn's voice. 'Make the most of it.' I open my bag to grab a light coat to go outside. That lake has some of my best and worst memories.
✦✦✦
I sit on the dock, my legs dangling over the water as I relive the moment I almost drowned.
"Ella you're being silly, why wouldn't you want to marry?"
"I just don't. Ellyn, you're being unreasonable, why must I?"
"I'm sure you'll want to since you've got boys chasing after you but not me."
Ellyn hated that so many fancied me for my beauty, but not her. Even though we look the same, people preferred my kindness over her violence. Usualy I ingnored Ellyn when she got like that but what she said next really tipped me over the edge.
"You shouldn't be so kind to others. They may adore you now but they'll stab you in the back later. You act like a maid sometimes, catering to others wills."
I had been so angry at her for that. I said something I regret to this day.
"Well maybe if you were nice for a change, the boy you fancy would be flirting with you and not me!"
Tears had fallen from her eyes and I'd felt horrible. She'd known Henry thought me pretty but I'd never had the heart to tell her he'd flirted with me. When I'd looked up at her, her hands were raised. I'd never been more afraid in my life. I'd thought she was going to strike me just like the maids, but it was worse; she pushed me. I know that wasn't thinking clearly for if she were, she would've realized I was right at the edge of the dock. But she wasn't thinking clearly and I wasn't expecting it so I stumbled and fell into the lake. I'll never forget the look of terror in her eyes as she watched me. Ellyn had screamed my name as I sunk down. I'd tried to swim at first but I couldn't tell which was was up, couldn't breath. All I remember after that was hearing a splash and feeling a sharp pain on the back of my head. Then everything faded to black. When I reagined conciousness, a boy with disheveled black hair and green eyes was sitting next to me. He was soaking wet and the second he saw I was awake he walked away, threw an herb on the ground and disapeared. Ellyn later explained that he'd saved my life. I never saw him again. I blink and see the sun setting. Was I really out here for that long? I lift my hand. I'm shaking. I fear swimming now but I appreciate water's beauty. I wish I trusted myself enough to go in but I don't. Still trembling I whisper
"Oh Ellyn, why did you have to get so upset? Why did you have to push me in?"
A darkness fills me. It visits me often, to tell me awful things, to make me doubt myself. To tell me that I'm not enough, that I shouldn't be alive. The tears start.
"Why couldn't I have just died?"
The voice behind me surprises me.
"Because I didn't wish to watch you drown."
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