Hiro opened up the closet door, sliding it to the side. The row upon row of comfy warm clothes greeted him, plush, fluffy, luxurious, but to him a prison. A prison he had been living in for years.
He ran his hands across the long sleeves, the t-shirts, and the sweaters.
He was pretty cold today but not as cold as normal, he could go for something lighter than yesterday, probably.
Hiro lifted his hand and stared at it. ‘Tamaki…’ Hiro thought, he turned to his bedroom door and stared at it. ‘Tamaki, the man in the room down the hall, the one that brought him heat, that brought him warmth.’
He was acutely aware of the dynamic between them, the imbalance of their relationship hanging heavy in the air like a weighted blanket that kept smothering him over the past week and a half they had shared together. Other than that first day they had existed int he same general area as each other, but Tamaki had been busy with odd jobs and every time he finished one of his odd jobs he came home and Hiro was asleep, and every time Hiro woke up Tamaki was asleep, they were like two buses in the night passing but never connecting.
And every time Tamaki had a moment he would run to him, place his hand atop his for a minute then leave. a simple brush, just enough warmth to make him feel like a drug addict that had grown obsessed without his hit. He knew it was greedy but after these lightning taps and runs, he was feeling even more jittery and agitated then ever.
‘It’s almost worse this way then before, I would almost not feel anything than these tantalizing zaps of warmth that dissipate before I can hold onto them for long, leaving me feeling colder after they recede.’
‘Maybe I can get him to stick around longer today if I make him some breakfast, its the day he does busking outside the restaurant right? Maybe…’
Hiro groaned and threw his head back. Then shook out his fluffy dark hair. He couldn’t shake the nagging feeling that he was using Tamaki, exploiting his warmth like a commodity. It gnawed at his insides, a persistent ache in the pit of his stomach that he couldn’t ignore. Yet, despite this knowledge, there was a flicker of something else buried beneath the guilt—a glimmer of relief, perhaps even happiness.
For so long, Hiro had been trapped in the icy grip of loneliness and despair, suffocating under the weight of his own disease. Every day felt like a struggle, a monotonous routine devoid of joy or purpose. But then Tamaki had entered his life like a sudden ray of sunshine, bringing with him a warmth that Hiro had long forgotten existed. In Tamaki’s presence, the world seemed a little brighter, a little more bearable. He was like a lifeline, offering Hiro a glimpse of hope in an otherwise bleak existence.
A beacon, and one he had desperately needed.
Yet, even as Hiro clung to this newfound sense of hope, doubt lingered like a shadow at the edge of his consciousness. ‘Was it right to rely so heavily on someone else for his own happiness? Was he simply using Tamaki as a means to escape his own misery?’ The questions swirled in his mind, gnawing at him and yet, he couldn’t stop it. They had just started, he knew he was bad. That this made him a bad person. But, letting Tamaki go so he wasn’t preying on his weakness of not having a home was something that turned his gut. It had only been a few days since he met him, but he couldn’t let go of his hope.
He was horrible. But he couldn’t let go of the hope that maybe, Tamaki was just a temporary reprieve from the emptiness that plagued him—a fleeting distraction from the harsh realities of his life. Or perhaps, against all odds, Tamaki could be the answer to everything he had been searching for.
Either one of those scenarios he couldn’t risk letting go of either.
‘I’m disgusting’ he thought, while standing in front of his closet filled with warm clothes and even heavier thoughts, Hiro couldn’t shake the feeling of disgust that crawled across his skin, at his own selfishness. He sighed and reached into the closet then grabbed his favorite light cream sweater, a nice cotton polyester blend, hand knitted of a lighter feel, cozy, and the perfect medium for the day.
He closed the closet and went downstairs two at a time. A small smirk on his face as he opened the fridge and grabbed out his pre-made smoothie mix container. It was fruits and veggies he placed together and froze, ready for a smoothie at any moment. He tapped the top of it, then put it back into the fridge, he reached back in and grabbed the eggs, the ham, the rice, and an assortment of spices. He rinsed the rice and then put it into the rice cooker on the counter and pressed start. He went to the counter, grabbed a chopping board, and then placed the ham onto it, and began cutting it into small cubes.
His preparations echoed off the walls, a soothing cadence that enveloped Hiro in its embrace.
The faint aroma of spices mingled with the earthy scent of the cooking steam, filling the air with an intoxicating bouquet of smells that tickled his nose.
As Hiro deftly sliced through the ham, the sharp tang of soy and sesame oil permeated the room, infusing the air with an enticing allure. The vibrant hues of green onions and chives added a splash of color int he pan.
Once he was done, he chopped up some green onions, and chives added some soy and sesame oil then salted the pan added the ham cubes, turned the heat up, and hovered his hand over the top of the pan enjoying the heat as it soaked into his skin. “Ahhh, warmth,” he said with a shiver. Feeling warmth always reminded him of how cold he was. He added a bit of pepper before he started to toss the ham around the pan as it sizzled. The gentle sizzle of ham in the pan was a delectable sound as he thought about how juicy that ham would be when he and Tamaki bit into it. He smirked and continued stirring it with his chopsticks.
A few minutes later, he whipped the egg and then poured it into the pan the rice cooker went off and then turned itself off. He chopped up the egg in the middle and then moved it around the pan with the ham, humming as he cooked. He loved cooking, and had his own version of Yakimeshi(1) his had a key difference to it. The key difference to his Yakimeshi was that he did the egg after the ham had already been cooked to cover the egg with that delicious ham flavor.
“Wow, that smells great,” Tamaki said as he came down the stairs and into the living room and kitchen area.
Hiro smirked. “Thanks, I like cooking.”
As Tamaki sauntered past Hiro, his slippers padding softly against the cool tile floor, he reached out with a casual grace to snag a cube of ham from the countertop. The muscles in his arms flexed subtly as he moved, hinting at the strength hidden beneath his unassuming exterior, he wasn’t ripped with a six pack or a overly toned body, but there was subtle definition along his core, and his arms were riddled with strong thick muscles that moved prettily every time he extended his arm. Hiro couldn’t help but notice the way the droplets of water clung to Tamaki’s bare skin, glistening in the sunlight from the kitchen windows.
Hiro looked up, pulling his gaze from Tamaki’s body, Hiro’s expression softened, his stern facade crumbling in the wake of Tamaki’s mischievous gaze. There was something undeniably captivating about him, something that drew Hiro in with an almost magnetic pull. It was in the way his eyes sparkled with mischief, the curve of his lips quirking up into a playful smile. Hiro felt a surge of warmth flood through him and to his ears.
Tamaki, too, seemed intrigued by the intensity of Hiro’s gaze, his curiosity piqued by the silent exchange between them. There was a palpable tension in the air, a silent acknowledgment of the unspoken connection that crackled between them like electricity.
As they stood there, locked in each other’s gaze, Hiro felt a wave of emotions wash over him—appreciation, admiration, and something else, something he couldn’t quite name. It was as if he had stumbled upon a rare treasure, a precious gem hidden amidst the chaos of his everyday life.
“Wow, you have a great body.” He said.
Tamaki looked down. “Oh, yeah, thanks, I don’t normally sleep in just pants but your house is so hot.” He said.
Hiro paused, “It is?” his eyes still traveling across Tamaki’s shirtless body. Tamaki felt a flush of fluttering feelings spread through his body at Hiro’s appreciative gaze. ‘Remember, this isn’t your world, you are just here to help.’
“Tamaki cleared his throat, his mind buzzing with amusement. As he approached the thermometer, he couldn’t help but wonder how Hiro would react to his explanation. “It’s twenty-six Celsius, so pretty warm,” he said, and grinned ‘How cute is he’. Tamaki thought, Hiro observed Tamaki’s every move.
“Oh sorry, I will change the temperature.”
Tamaki came back into the kitchen, his slippers shuffling across the tile. “No, don’t worry about it, I can always take off more clothes, but there is nothing anyone else can do to make you more comfortable, except me, right?” Tamaki asked.
Hiro looked at him. His mouth a bit agape.
‘Did he just offer to walk around naked before he ever let him turn off the heat. And so nonchalantly too. Oh he is dangerous one for sure. He is for sure very popular, maybe even a player.’ Hiro thought.
Tamaki matched his gaze, he lifted his hand and intertwined it with Hiro’s. Tamaki stared at their hands. ‘He is cold, despite how hot it is, despite standing in front of the stove and cooking, he is so cold.’ Tamaki thought.
“Tamaki?” Hiro said, his voice slightly strangled.
“I figured you probably didn’t have any warmth left from yesterday. Are you feeling cold?” Tamaki asked, his voice gentle.
“Yes,” Hiro said. “Always.”
A sizzle and snapping hiss from the ham interrupted the two of them.
But before Hiro could reach over and remove the pan. Tamaki moved it off the burner and turned it off.
As Tamaki’s fingers intertwined with Hiro’s, a jolt of electricity seemed to surge through their entwined hands, sending shivers racing down Hiro’s spine. The rough texture of Tamaki’s calloused fingertips against his skin sent a wave of sensation coursing through him, each touch igniting a flicker of longing deep within his chest. Like a slow steady building throb. Hiro blinked up at Tamaki, his heart pounding so loudly in his ears that he was sure Tamaki could hear it too.
“Do you always have to be this close to someone?” Hiro’s voice was barely more than a whisper, filled with a mixture of uncertainty and longing. He couldn’t deny the thrill that coursed through him at the thought of Tamaki’s proximity, the warmth of his touch seeping into every fiber of his being.
Tamaki shook his head, a small smile playing at the corners of his lips. Hiro’s breath caught in his throat at the sight of it, his heart fluttering like a caged bird desperate to be released. It was as if the very air around them crackled with an unspoken tension.
“I am trying to warm you up… Is it working? Is it enough?” Tamaki asked.
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