The day before his birthday that year, Damien, and Lucas finally found some more time in which they could be alone together.
Around a month into their relationship, and Lucas was, at long last, spending the night at Damien’s place.
Damien had undertaken a very thorough cleaning session, as Lucas had never been inside. He’d been busy with his studies – so it had made more sense for both of them to meet at his dorm instead.
In what may as well have been nano-seconds after he’d finished with all of his chores, Damien’s doorbell chimed.
Lucas dwelled in his doorway. He was wrapped up in a multitude of different layers to combat the snow, which had been falling all day.
Both of them greeted the other, and embraced one another firmly.
Lucas wiped off his boots, and removed them once he had entered Damien’s home. He looked around, and took in everything that he’d never had chance to.
He spotted the wooden panelling on the walls, and the blue and gold ornate wallpaper which furnished the entirety of the living room. A chandelier dimly lit the whole room, and it appeared as though one was able to adjust the luminance of the bulbs with a light switch.
Damien had taken a lot of care to get his surroundings just how he wanted them, and Lucas was in awe – forgetting to take off his coat for a short while. “Woah! This place is really nice!” Ultimately, he remembered; he took off his coat and hung it on the vintage coat rack, which stood by the entrance.
“Thank you!” Damien lightened at the compliment. “I had to do something to it... this place was horribly antiquated when I moved in.”
As Damien spoke, Lucas examined a few more objects in close detail. He ran his fingers over the sofas, feeling how soft the fabric was. His attention then turned to Damien’s very clunky television, and he saw that a certain console rested beneath it on the stand.
Damien watched Lucas as he studied his furniture. Lucas peered at his GameTerminal 2, and his attention appeared to be taken up by it completely. He knelt down, and shifted through Damien’s pitifully small library of games – settling on one which seemed to interest him.
“Dude!” Lucas excitedly spoke, holding the game’s case in his hand and turning back around to face Damien. “You play Super Kitty Beat Down Fighter, too?”
“Yes!” At this, all of the sleeper cells in Damien’s body activated at once, and he dashed to where Lucas was standing. He flapped his hands eagerly, unaware of himself. “You know, there’s a certain trick you can do as Neko-Tsuyoi which completely breaks-″ He all but shouted, and then halted.
Damien regained awareness of himself, and ceased his hand movements. “Sorry!” He held them timidly behind his back, looking to the floor. “Sometimes I do that when I get excited.” Lucas scanned his boyfriend, the beginnings of misery flooding his chest. “Mum always told me it was annoying, so I try not to do it-″
Lucas planted himself onto one of the sofas, and motioned for Damien to do the same. He stared at his boyfriend intensely, and held his hands in his own.
“You can do it around me, if that’s how you feel most comfortable.” Lucas consoled him. He’d seen that Damien would do similar things in public a lot, swiftly stopping himself when he noticed what he was doing.
“But actually... that reminds me of something I’ve been meaning to ask you.” Lucas had been wanting to bring this up for a quite a while, however, he hadn’t wanted to upset Damien. His boyfriend looked at him anxiously, and hunched over. Lucas hated how Damien always expected the worst. “Damien.” Lucas placed one of his hands onto Damien’s back, and used his other to run his thumb repeatedly across Damien’s hands.
“Do you think you might be on the spectrum?” Rather than the surprise or anger Lucas had been expecting, Damien tilted his head quizzically.
“Spectrum?” Lucas turned to the side. A more direct approach was to be demanded. He snapped his head back to face his boyfriend again.
“Do you think you might be autistic, Damien?”
Damien perked up, shocked. As much as Lucas loved him, he also was sensible to the knowledge that denial was Damien’s first reaction to anything.
“There’s no way!” Damien yelled at him once the silence had passed.
Defensively, Lucas pulled his hands away, lifting them up to the side of his head. “Hey! I didn’t mean it as an insult!” Lucas hated upsetting the balance like this, and he turned away once again. “It’s just... well...”
Lucas recalled when he’d badgered Damien about his fringe. Lucas remarked that it must be hard to see through it; to which Damien had excused it by saying it ran in his family. And it helped to block out the light. And it allowed him to avoid eye-contact with people.
Damien crossed his arms at this. Frustrated, Lucas then brought up when they had gone to a very overpriced restaurant. Damien had needed to throw up, after talking about the food he was eating having a bad texture. “Doesn’t everyone have foods they dislike?” Had been Damien’s retort.
Lucas’ annoyance grew. Now more invested in proving his point, than keeping the peace, Lucas rolled his eyes. “Yes, but such adverse reactions are rare.”
Finally, Lucas brought up Damien’s very literal way of understanding jokes and phrases. Damien shook his head when Lucas talked about everything with Morgan.
“How was I supposed to draw any other meaning from that joke?” He pouted, childishly. “You’re the weird ones, not me!”
“Damn it, Damien!” Lucas snapped, regretting his choice when Damien apprehensively closed in on himself.
Lucas sighed, and put a hand on his boyfriend’s shoulder. “I’m sorry.” He woefully glanced at Damien. “I just believe that this is something you should pursue.” Lucas tried to explain himself.
“Autism is something only kids have, right?” Damien held onto Lucas, pulling him closer. “Surely I’d have outgrown it by now.”
Lucas hugged him softly. “There’s a lot more to it than that.” He expressed. “I just want you to get the support that you need.”
Both of them stayed still for a while, contemplating silently whilst being grateful for the other’s presence.
Damien broke their embrace, and stood up – he walked to the television stand.
“Alright. I’ll think about all of this.” He shuffled through the drawer, pulling out two controllers.
“I hope I’ve not overwhelmed you too much...” Lucas said, guilt lacing his voice.
“Not at all.” Damien hooked up the controllers to the console, turning on it, along with the television. He passed the second controller to Lucas, and stationed himself back down. “So...” He began, smiling at Lucas – who in turn, smiled back, relieved. “Wanna play?”
Lucas nodded, and the two of them played an assortment of games well into the early hours of the morning, with Lucas only stopping at midnight, to wish Damien a happy twentieth birthday.
By three am, Damien had fallen asleep – and Lucas found the nearest blanket, draping his boyfriend in it. The snow had picked up considerably since he had arrived, and Lucas was grateful that he was cooped up somewhere warm for the evening. His dorm wasn’t particularly great at keeping heat in.
He started up the fire, and made himself a small bed in front of it. Lying on the floor, he rolled over to look at Damien before he drifted off. Peacefully, he snored, with the flickering of the flames illuminating all of his features.
Lucas gently studied Damien. He watched his chest fall and rise slowly, admiring how comfortable he was.
Lucas debated whether or not he should carry him up to bed, but he ultimately decided against it. He didn’t want to risk disturbing his sleep, as Lucas knew damn well that he needed it.
Snuggled up in his boyfriend’s home on a snowy evening, Lucas too, required rest.
The next morning, although Damien had slept long before Lucas, he still awoke first.
The fire had gone out after he’d fallen asleep, and he shook Damien awake.
Damien groggily protested, and Lucas couldn’t help but chuckle at his weak opposition. “Come on.” He goaded. “I’ll make us breakfast.”
Instantaneously, Damien perked up – following Lucas to the kitchen.
Not long afterwards, the room was filled with the aroma of bacon, sausages, and various other foods which you would typically find in an English breakfast. Lucas sat their plates down on the dining table, and poured himself a glass of orange juice. Damien began to cut up the food on his plate with a knife - starting with his least favourite item of food, and ending at his favourite.
Lucas took a few bites, and then swallowed. “You’re nothing like your mother.” He took a sip from his glass, and anticipated Damien’s response.
Damien chewed up the food on his fork before he responded. “Really?” He doubted. “Most people lump all of us in together.”
Lucas frowned. “I’m guessing that you know, then.”
Damien’s eyes darted, giving a loathful glance to the food on his plate as he fiddled with his utensils. “Yes.” He divulged. “I’ve known since I can remember.” He clenched his teeth. “I hate it. I wish there was something I could do about all of the corruption.”
Lucas reached his hand across the table, fretfully watching his boyfriend’s distress. In defiance of his anxiety, Lucas smiled at him gently.
“I bet you’ll be a great mayor.”
Damien was genuinely jarred by that statement, and waited for Lucas to elaborate.
“What?” Lucas caught just how much Damien hadn’t expected his previous affirmation. “You clearly give a shit about the people who live here!” Lucas soured. “Unlike her.”
Slowly, Lucas moved his hand away, and placed it on his sleeve.
“I used to use; you know.”
Before Damien had any time to respond at all, Lucas pulled up his sleeve. Damien’s eyes inspected the needle marks which coated the underside of his arm, and he felt utterly powerless and full of sorrow in the face of them. “Lucas, I-″
Lucas tutted, he cut him off and rolled his sleeve back down. “Please, it isn’t your fault.” He assured Damien. “I kicked the habit around when I started med school.” He turned away, pensively. “My family helped a lot, too.”
Lucas returned to his food, not saying anything else. Slowly, Damien became comfortable enough to continue eating his food as well. Nothing more was said, up until both of them were scraping the remainder of their breakfast from their dishes.
Lucas leaned towards Damien to grab his plate. “Families are complex, aren’t they?” He stacked both dishes on top of one another and walked to the sink.
Damien nodded in agreement. “Yes, they certainly can be.”
Lucas did the washing up quietly, and Damien observed him without a sound. Lucas peered out of the window, and saw that the snow had stopped falling. It settled on the ground, coating the entirety of Damien’s garden, and presumably the entirety of the city itself.
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