Bzzt!

My eyes violently jolt open, after a killing shock rips through my chest “Gah!” with a blood-curdling yell— wait… “Gah!” I tried to yell, but nothing was coming out. I couldn’t yell, not just that I had no voice. Before me was a great expanse of complete blankness, not dark nor bright.

It was all gray— television static— besides the waking shock, no other sensation was present. It wouldn’t be wrong to assume I was purgatory, right? But my defiance lives on, I couldn’t have died just now, not when I had so much to live for still, after all, I had just turned my life around, and I refuse to have it end there. 

“Open your eyes, unit” Announces a booming voice— seemingly everywhere yet nowhere at the same time— rings around my head like a choir of people spoke all at once. My eyes were closed this entire time. But I swore I’d opened them after that shock, what else was there to see in the afterlife? 

“Make me not repeat myself, unit,” says the booming voice once more did they just call me unit?— I’m no cookie-cutter. After what I had just gone through, I had to see this foul-mouther myself and give him a taste of my mind. I opened my eyes for the second time, and this time light came flooding in— I could see— but what awaited had me asking more than answering questions. 

Soft clicks, while white translucent smoke preceded soon after the capsule door opened in front of me, and I emerged into a reflective white chamber, broken up by wires and foreign circuitry pulsing blue and yellow along the floor and ceiling. 

Seeing myself in the mirror, I flutter my eyes looking at what I became. 

“What?” My entire figure was reduced to a blank… without color or texture. A person reduced to most fundamental parts— polygons— even if I told this story a million times over when I return I’d only be locked up for insanity for sure. 

The voice talking earlier, a tiny slick mono-eyed droid with yellow markings on its sides. 

“Resourceful, Idealistic, and willing to bend the rules to get what she wants, that is Eve’s soul, do you understand?” They explain with their suave radio-like voice. 

Why were they talking like Eve and I were two different people? “Huh? What are you talking about, I’m Eve— That was no simulation, don’t fool me—whatever you are—” I assert.

“Shush, that day simulation has emulated her characteristics perfectly! This is a proper procedure for those part of the deliverance process.” They blare through their speaker. 

“But to answer your question! I’m Surrogate Enlightener Cortex, your guide for as long as you are Eve’s Sentience Operator Unit Lifeline (SOUL) .” They explain, only perplexing me further. “Her what? I just told you. I’m Eve and I’m alive!” I argue, refusing to accept that I’m dead, but they refute. 

“Not exactly.” Hold on— that meant I’m alive? “You meant?—” The droid reads my expression and answers with disappointment “My answer refers to both, now listen to me.” they hover in front of me. 

“Eve came here of her own volition.” They explain, leaving me scratching my nonexistent head. “H-huh? B-but that’s me and I don’t remember any of this!” I argue, but again they came prepared.

“Of course, you only simulated a singular day’s memories.” The droid bops me with their frame “Ow—I didn’t mean it like that! Besides, answer me. Am I dead or not?!” I point at it with desperation. 

After processing my question, the droid teasingly asks. “Will I have your attention if I give you the answer?” I sigh, “You will.”

“Then listen,” they respond, refusing to answer my question, this damn brat! “This place right before you is your only means of achieving your greatest desire,” it explains, catching my attention.

“You mean my success?” I say, “Correct, after all, you have unfinished business don’t you?” it responds. 

“I was just starting when I fell by accident and…” the droid nods “Exactly, now follow me, I, SEC, will explain to you the rest on the way there.” 

??? PM, A dimension of mirrors?—white void—, colored wires dangled on the ceiling haphazardly, like specks from how high they were hung. The droid’s voice echoed each time they said something— a vast cave, maybe?—, not knowing where I was gnawed at my rapidly diminishing composure, I wanted answers— I need to escape  

If this is what I get for not wanting to die then maybe I should just—

No, what was I thinking, I cannot be dead, I refuse.          

The mono-eyed droid speaks of our apparent “deliverance”, rapturing those who forfeited themselves in pursuit of their greatest desires to live a second life. A contradiction, because if we never died, how come we’ll live a second life? If they talked about beginning again as I have, I would understand, but their wording seemed to connotate living a different life altogether. 

They repeat that Eve— me— was a willing member of their “rapture” and I delivered myself to them,  which I struggled to verify, however, even if I didn’t know why… I could infuriatingly see myself agreeing to this, even without a memory of it. I wanted that success more than anyone, and I would do anything I could to see it… 

“Just get to the point!” I demand the droid, “There’s still one decision to make here. As your guide, I won’t choose for you.”
And like a command, a dark stone podium hologram is constructed ahead of us, the sound of sifting sand and welding metal while it forms.   

“Will you deliver yourself?” It says with a piercing stare— from their singular eye emitting bright flashes blinding my eyes. 

Deliver me where? From?— Huh? I couldn’t speak again, that wretched thing took my voice again! With wide eyes, I stubbornly tried to claw away at my face to get it back. 

I unknowingly entered a trance once more, “Your life is inadequate, incomplete, and you’re envious, look at yourself.” they remark, echoing inside my head. 

A screen appears meeting my locked eyes, stopping me from doing anything. It shows my life in a consistently repeating videotape. 

Sleep, work, eat, study, sleep… 

“You fear death because of what you will lose, but could you even die with a “life” like this,” Sleep, work, eat, study, sleep. I admit I was frustrated at the lack of meaningful progress, having nothing to show for my work— underappreciated for my efforts— while the undeserving get showered praises for things they were already born with. “You will only be allowed to answer “yes” or “no”.” 

“I promise you, salvation awaits, now I ask again, do you want to begin anew and progress, or return to this neverending cycle.” They explain. 

“Will you deliver yourself to me?”

“Yes.” If they truly promise me a way to progress, to find success and happiness in this indifferent world. To begin again and have my hard work stand out above everyone else, then climb that mountain and reach the peak. No more delays, distractions, just me, this newfound opportunity, my success, and that happiness that’ll follow.   

“You’ve chosen the right decision.” 

And with their last words, the trance slowly withered away, the blinding light subsiding back to me, and my senses returning before being blinded. I wake to see my hand— the shadow of it— now on the podium, pressing on the soft yet steel structure, moving to the shape of my entire palm.

A slit of some kind containing a plugged-in memory drive— or what I assume is one— the alienness of this place confuses me. 

The droid would then attach something to my forehead before an alarming question popped into my mind. “This rapture you were talking about… has it already happened?” I ask, 

“Yes, it would only make sense,” they reply while doing something to the podium. I pan my head over to their unfeeling eye with discomfort and alarm.

“What happened, you didn’t tell me anything about it,” I ask again,  They pause from their work, tilting their stare to me before resuming again. “That I won’t answer.” 

Immediately I pulled my hand off the podium— or tried at least, because of the firm metal structure encasing my palm, I couldn’t relieve myself. Was this their plan all along? To put me in a trance to have me locked into this machine? To accomplish whichever it was that they desired? 

“Stop this! I- You said I’ll have my opportunity for success, how else will I have it, if you raptured everything?” I yell, desperately pulling my hand off the podium, with what little strength this “shadow” had.

“Your deliverance from reality commences— you’ll find your success and happiness in paradise. In Eden.” They say, Eden? I am off to somewhere that didn’t exist; beyond life?  

No NO NO, this is all wrong, I can’t let that happen, this was all a distraction— a derailment.  

“What? You lied to me! I won’t find salvation in any paradises, take me back!” I yelled at it, while the droid had seemingly finished its construction, a metallic arm-like appendage dawning a facial interface on the end. 

“You’ve already given yourself up, there is no other way around.” They announced with glee, and the arm slowly crept up and closed in on my face, the mask-like interface didn’t seem to do anything 

“Nonsense…” I protest in vain, My words muffled by the interface, but before it could envelop and close off my sight, I yanked the memory drive-like device within my reach and hid it between me and the podium,  

; file_Transfer… initiating.

In a flash, projections of digits, letters, and symbols danced around my sights at the speed of light—like a kaleidoscope of the future— it was strangely artsy with different colors that crept deeper and deeper into my mind like my head was being thoroughly investigated and assessed. 

; Uncompressing SOUL_data… 100% 

; Identification of  SOUL_data… 100% > ;Authentication of  SOUL_data… 100% 

; Analyzing_Traits 100% 

; Search of UNIT candidates… 87%

Every creeping second that passed my hold within my mind slips, and my grasp on the reality of my situation loosens further, like rusted screws as the firm hold of the interface deconstructed my entirety. Though, with barely a slither of groundedness, I overhear the droid's last words.

“It won’t matter, once the file transfer is completed you’ll forget we’ve ever had this conversation…Hold on! The user backup—”

; LOCATED UNIT CANDIDATE…

; SOUL=DATA TRANSFER…

I froze— petrified— as I felt my lower body disintegrate upon the completion of the soul data transfer, I clung to the metal arm, trying to pry it off with my remaining strength before I felt my hands vanish too, though, that agony was thankfully short-lived.  

After that, there was nothing, for the third time, I was back to seeing the emptiness— the void— without as little as a crumb of an idea as to what it all meant, the rapture, the deliverance, this process?

It was beyond complicated, and exhausting too, merely rationalizing what happened in these minutes could blow my head off. 

But, I wanted one thing right here, right now, and that was to cry, to empty all my tears, knowing that I had just lost the life I struggled so hard to live up to. I wish I could say I didn’t care, but I couldn’t not care.

If I hadn’t been so careless and exhausted none of this would’ve happened, yet it all did.

Like a tower of cards, I’ve killed years off my life to build, only for me to deal the crippling blow. Whatever world— Paradise— is it truly worth living for? My mind refused to work, to think, because all options of reasoning were all out the window.

I could only feel, and feelings of rue, regret, and self-hatred were true, filling even the smallest crevices in my body. Now I had to accept that it was lost, that I sold it all, I sold it all on this fraud so willingly believing snake oil that I’ll hate myself for as long as I live.    

I was this close, so close to making things work yet it all broke.