BEEP. BEEP. BEEP

              Fuck.

I woke to the loud beeping of my alarm and I groaned in annoyance. It was Sunday and all I wanted to do was sleep. My body was tired. Even though I had slept like the dead. The combination of stress, the plane ride, and my extra activities had worn my body down. I needed to do the last thing though. I was too pent up to not do it.

              My thoughts were interrupted by a knock on my door. “Yes?” I said.

              “It’s me.” Carol said as she peaked her head through the door. “I thought I’d let you know that I had made some breakfast and to come down when you’re decent.”

              “Alright, thank you Carol. I’ll be down in a minute.” I replied with a smile.

              She nodded to me with a smile of her own and closed the door.

              I flopped back down onto my bed and let out a sigh. Seeing Carol in the flesh made me relive the memories from last night. That was one of those most intense fantasies I had ever had. I didn’t know if it was because Carol was in the same house I was in, but it was fucking amazing.

              Carol looked good though. It was too early for me to be presentable, but Carol looked amazing.  She wasn’t wearing any makeup and just had her robe on, but she still looked as beautiful as ever. I wished I could just take a picture of her and imprint it in my brain so I could always look at her.

              I guess I have to get up… if only to eat Carol’s cooking.

              I looked over to the nightstand on my right and saw that my phone had some unread texts. They could only be from one person. Ash. They no doubt wanted an update on my situation. They were the only one - besides my therapist - who I had told about my love for Carol.

              I grabbed the phone and read the texts.

              Ash: Did you make it there yet?

              Ash: Hello?

              Ash: Helloooo???

              Ash: Are you to busy fucking Carol to answer your phone?

              Ash: I guess I’ll take that as a yes…

              Ash: Use protection you horny mf!

              I groaned. I knew I would have to fix this. I knew Ash was probably just teasing, but there was a real possibility that they actually thought that. They knew one of the reasons I had even came back to Florida was because of Carol. Sure, the job I start on Monday is amazing, but I could’ve gone anywhere. Carol was here. She wasn’t anywhere else.

              Jo: I didn’t fuck her you dumbass.

              Jo: I was tired. I went to bed early. Alright? Awesome talk.

              There. Hopefully that would clear up any misconceptions Ash had about what happened yesterday.

              I got out bed, quickly showered, and then threw on some clothes before I headed downstairs. I could already smell what Carol was cooking before getting all the way down there. Bacon was the most prevalent smell out of all of them. I loved bacon. Who gave a fuck if it wasn’t healthy? I’ll eat cleaner when I’m older. Food is life man.

              I found Carol in the kitchen with her robe and a cute apron on. She was near the stove cooking pancakes, eggs, sausage, and bacon. This was a classic breakfast staple in our house. I’m sure it was for others too, but we almost religiously had it on the weekends.

              “So, the usual?” I asked.

              Carol jumped slightly, turned around to face me, and a hand over heart. Her face was slightly red, but I dismissed it thinking she was just hot from doing all the cooking.

“Goodness Jo, you scared me. But yes, I’m making the usual.” She said with a smile.

I walked up to her and gave her a hug. “Good morning, Carol.”

“Good morning, Jo.” She said still slightly flushed.

It was a good thing I had put on my compression shorts today or mini-me would’ve made their presence know right about now. We disentangled from each other and I asked if she needed help with anything. I might’ve been… well me, but I still had manners. Carol chuckled at the question and shood me away, telling me to just sit down at the table. That was probably for the best. I liked eating, but I sucked at cooking.

“Don’t you remember the last time you tried to cook Jo?” She asked me with a mischievous glint.

I groaned even though I knew it was coming. “Yes, yes, I remember Carol. I just wanted to do something nice for you.” I grumbled.

“And I appreciate that you tried, but I would’ve liked it a whole lot more if you didn’t almost burn down the house.” She said with a chuckle.

I rolled my eyes at the statement, but I was elated at the banter between us. Our dynamic wasn’t forced. It was natural. That made me happier than the food that was being cooked.

“Here you go Jo. A full plate just how you like it.”

Carol wasn’t saying that just to say that… The plate really was full. It was packed with all the things I had mentioned previously. I breathed in and took in the amazing smells. It smelled like the past, but not the bad parts, it smelled like the good parts.

“Thank you, Carol, this smells amazing.” I said and threw a wink her way.

There was that blush again, but I dismissed it again and said she probably was just not good at taking compliments. She was married to Ma after all.

“Oh, it wasn’t any trouble. I wanted to do something for you since you came back.” She said with a shy smile.

“Well, thanks again anyway. I don’t think I even remember eating all that much yesterday.”

“What? You? The woman who used to raid our fridge at three in the morning because she wanted a snack?”

“I can’t help if I was hungry all the time.”

“Mhm.” Carol replied.

Carol got her own plate of food and sat opposite me. I couldn’t help, but stare at her for a moment. I only got a glimpse of her when she peaked her head through my door and I was too busy wanting to devour some food while I was in the kitchen, so now I was really looking at her. I felt like I could do this for hours. She was perfection in my eyes.

“So?” I said with a mouthful of food to which Carol scowled in my direction.” How are you doing?” I said after I had swallowed.

“How am I… doing?”

“Yes, how are doing. Y’know, after these last four years… I just want to make sure ok.” I said with sincerity.

“I’m… okay.” Carol offered.

“Just, okay?”

“Well, you know how it is Jo. Things have been hard. I’ve not even tried to date anyone seriously.” She said with a hollow laugh.

That last bit peaked my interest, but it wasn’t the time for that. All that mattered was Carol’s feelings.

“I’m sorry things haven’t been the best, but I promise things will get better. I just have a feeling.” I said with a smile.

I reached over the tabled and grabbed her hand in reassurance. I noticed her sigh with my touch. A small smile formed on her lips and I felt like I had just won the lottery. I meant what I said. As long as I’m here, I’m going to make sure Carol never feels lonely or sad. If she’s had a long day at work, then I’ll try to make dinner for her. If she doesn’t feel well then, I’ll do my best to take care of her. If she feels lonely then I’ll be right by her side to comfort her. If she feels she isn’t enough, then I’ll make sure she knows she is. I’ll shower her with so much praise she wouldn’t know what to do with it all.

One way or another this woman will know she’s loved.