Dear Diary, I expected to have some awkward run ins with Carmine after last time, but I haven't. I haven't seen him at all. It's gone from I couldn't leave my house without running into him to now he's nowhere to be found. Maybe he's avoiding me? Like when I was trying to avoid him, except he's actually good at it.
Does being an overpowered male lead make you good at avoiding people? Did that also make him good at running into me when I was trying to avoid him? Maybe being a lead does come with some perks. But what am I saying? That skill's not worth the drama the leads have to put up with. It’s impressive, but not enviable considering the whole situation.
I've been out a few times since our last encounter. At first I was on edge, on the lookout and expecting to see him. Unsure of what I should say, or what he would say or do, if I did see him. By now I just assume I'll never see him again.
I spent a lot of time worrying and planning, thinking through what it might be like when we ran into each other. It was just a waste of time. There was nothing to plan for; no reason to run through all the scenarios that I did in my head. That’s what happens when I let the male lead suck me into his drama. Frazzled nerves and wasted time. But I’m past being bothered by that now, since the male lead has ninja level hiding skills and I’ll never catch sight of him again.
Early on my friends noticed how jumpy I was and while I didn't give them a full explanation I did tell them that Carmine and I had had a disagreement and I was afraid of running into him. They teased me at first, saying of course he couldn't hate me, he was too smitten. I wasn't sure about smitten, but that sounded closer to the problem than the solution anyway, although I didn't tell them that. They were optimistic for longer than I was, but they too came around to believing that he was avoiding me. Well, they didn't say exactly that; they said maybe he was away on business for the duke, but we all knew it meant the same thing.
Anyway, I have been enjoying time with my friends recently, and I guess that's the important part. No more interruptions from Carmine. I’m back on track for avoiding the leads and living my best side character life away from all the drama. Which was really the goal anyway, so it’s a good thing.
Martina drug us out to go dress shopping one day. There was a ball coming up and she insisted that I couldn't just wear one of the dresses in my closet. I know she's right and I needed a new dress according to the social rules here, but it still seems silly to me and I haven't gotten used to it yet.
There are perfectly good dresses in my closet. Some of them in particular I really like and would love to wear more than once. That’s just not acceptable, however, for the ball gowns. If it was just me, I’m not sure that I would care, but it would reflect poorly on my family as well if I wore them more than once.
After Martina convinced me to go, we did all have fun. Arianna and Emma came as well. We admired each other in all the dresses that we tried on, and ended up each choosing a dress for someone else. There were so many good options it was hard to choose between them all, but Arianna tried on a beautiful, ruffled, gold dress that perfectly suited her green hair. It was reminiscent of lemon lime, although I did stop myself before mentioning to them that it reminded me of a soda. They don't have soda here, and I'm doing better at catching my blunders before they escape my mouth.
The ball itself was delightful. For this one, the excuse to hold a ball was to gather and celebrate the coming of winter. The temperature had gotten chilly, pushing us toward indoor activities, so it was a welcome way to spend an evening with friends. We laughed and danced and ate good food, and I thoroughly enjoyed my time with my friends, with only minimal thought given to Carmine.
At the ball, I did catch sight of Lucia. Her pink hair sparkled from across the room like a beacon. Next to her I was surprised to see the crown prince, his blonde hair sparkling just as brightly. They were laughing together, and then walking onto the dance floor to captivate everyone's attention. She stumbled once, towards the end of the dance. She was blushing at something he said and missed a step. But the crown prince caught her and kept her moving of course, and other than that their dance was perfect.
It seemed odd to see Lucia without Carmine. I suppose there are usually other male leads that flirt with the female lead, another part of the useless drama they encounter. Still, I didn't understand why she seemed to be encouraging it. He was the crown prince, so maybe she couldn't say no, but if that was the case Carmine should have swooped in to save her and he didn't.
Was he really avoiding me and it was affecting his relationship with Lucia as well? Did he and Lucia really not intend to get married now? But they needed each other. They had entered their contract marriage because it was mutually beneficial, so where would they each be without it? Maybe my friends were right and Carmine's becoming duke wasn't a given.
I felt sorry for him. I wasn't going to insert myself into his drama, but I was sorry if I'd made his life harder. Certainly I hadn't wanted him to propose to me instead, but my showing up here might have caused it indirectly. My being here might be affecting the original story.
Despite all that, I didn't let it dampen my mood for long. Carmine and Lucia might have been the main characters in the story, but they weren’t who my world revolved around. I had my own sphere of friends and family.
During the ball, one man asked Arianna to dance three times. From his physique we guessed that he was a knight and Martina, Emma, and I had their marriage all planned by the end of the evening. Arianna said he was just being polite, but it didn't stop her from blushing every time he was near, or even when we mentioned him or our plans for their marriage.
Emma also had someone ask her twice. Although we ribbed her some out of obligation, she didn't seem as taken with him. We didn't plan their marriage, but it's still nice to be fancied.
Martina and I did receive some dance requests as well, but no repeats. Perhaps I should be concerned at this point. The way this society works, Millana might would be feeling her age by now and planning for marriage, either by putting more effort into finding a partner herself or by family arrangement, but I was still getting used to this world and not feeling a strong need to head to someone else's house yet. On Martina's part however, I knew how much she wanted it, and I felt bad for her to have to watch our other friend's receive what she also longed for.
Besides the ball, I've had other outings. Painting parties seem to be the new big thing as the weather's gotten colder. A family hires an artist and hosts friends, and the artist teaches those in attendance how to paint.
I've hosted one, and gone to a couple others. I like to think I'm improving. Regardless, it is fun to try, and to make fun of or admire each other's paintings when we're done. Martina seems especially good at it, Emma's aren't bad, and we all agreed that Arianna should stick to other hobbies.
Arianna takes our jesting well, but I think she finds it too true to be funny. Although she’s glad to spend the time with us, painting always frustrates her since the finished canvas never comes out like she wants. There are always growls of frustration coming from her while she’s trying to follow the instructions, and her canvas ends up looking like unidentifiable blobs of color.
Mine aren’t as bad as Arianna’s, but they’re not good either. While identifiable, they look more like what a child might create with crayons (another word I resisted using, Diary, due to the absence of crayons here) than a refined painting. Despite my lack of skill, I enjoy the activity, and don’t growl and look like the canvas is trying to fight me like Arianna does.
Anyway, that’s the latest to catch you up on, Diary. And I suppose I'm better off without Carmine. Good riddance to his male lead drama. I wish him well, but I suppose I won't be able to update you, Diary, on whether my wishing comes true. But I'll keep you up to date on my friends and me.
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