“See? See that look on your face? You know how weird those guys are in our class. And they’re like that even if they have been with girls all their lives,” she continued with the torturous thought that those seemingly harmful creatures called men would sabotage my well-being.
“They don’t know that I’m a girl. I’m even using a fake identity. It’s not Fiona Pearce who will enter their school. It is a guy with the name of Jules Kensey who will be there in a few,” I paused, taking a glance at my watch again, “in like thirty minutes.”
“It doesn’t even matter. They will know!” Paige exclaimed.
“No, they won’t. It’s not like they’ll sniff me and know that I’m a girl.” I calmed her down. She should at least believe that this momentary attempt would all turn out well. I needed some support out here, and those boys were human beings, not search dogs.
“That haircut only did a fleeting effect in hiding your features,” Paige complained.
“Don’t worry. Once I put on those clothes that I have in Dad’s car, I bet you’ll fall in love with me, thinking that I’m Mr. Handsome walking around the block.”
“Oh please, don’t start with that.” Amusingly, she also looked green suddenly. Now I felt sorry that I already gave her nightmares to endure for the next few days. “Take good care of yourself, okay? Promise me.”
“I will. Come on, cheer up, Paige. I feel sad not going to school with you tomorrow,” I told her. But I didn’t need to worry. There were Helen, Liz, and Ed to keep her company.
“I’ll miss you big time.” Paige pulled me into a hug.
“I’ll be back before you know it. We’ll keep in touch. And Corner Stone is only a few miles away. We can still hang out. I heard they allow the students to go out during weekends,” I said to her. And it wasn’t like I’d stay there for long. I might even move out before Saturday. Finn only had to do his part, well, of appearing in front of me, so that I could play the part of sibling recognition. Now why was I getting this feeling that I was the one being used as a search dog in all this?
I heard a honk coming from behind me. Turning back, I saw my dad in the car. He got that same look on Paige’s face a moment ago. It must be really heartbreaking to see me with this hair.
“Hey, Dad!” I called out, pulling away from Paige.
We walked over to him, waiting for what he was going to say. But it was like a meteorite landed directly on his head, leaving him senseless. His eyes traced the features of my new haircut.
Lucas Hughes rocked!
“Fiona, I’m so sorry,” Dad said suddenly.
“No need, Dad. It’s okay.”
“Hi, Mr. Pearce,” Paige greeted him.
“Hi there, Paige. It’s been a while,” Dad said. I wanted to say that Paige was in our house recently, when he was spacing out like crazy, but I held it back. He seemed convinced that it had been a while, so I let him be. I even heard Paige chortle a bit, but she also held it back, fully knowing what Dad was going through right now.
“I guess you have to go now. Just promise me you’ll take care of yourself, okay?” Paige said, looking straight into my eyes.
“Yes, I will,” I replied. “For the first time, I’m glad that we honed our acting skills before. At least I got a head start.”
She laughed a bit. “Didn’t know it would be handy for you.”
I nodded. “So, see you in a few days?”
“Make sure that it’s only several days,” she reminded me.
“Of course,” I assured her. After giving her one last hug, I turned to Dad and said, “Let’s go.”
“Take care,” I heard Paige say again, as I was tugging my seatbelt. I looked up and flashed one last smile before we left. Soon after, Dad and I were already driving away, and I was only looking at Paige’s reflection in the rear-view mirror.
“Are you nervous?” Dad asked, turning right around the block.
“A lot. So how are the boys in your school? I mean, are they okay or...” I trailed off, not wanting to sound imposing. It wasn’t like I could tell him what Paige’s brand new definition of boys in an exclusive school.
“They’re like every other boy, just arranged in a different setup,” Dad replied.
“How?”
He gave it a thought. “You’ll know. They’re the same, yet different in their own ways.”
“Like?” I had heard stories before, but it wasn’t like Dad discussed the entire set-up with me. There was no need for it before. Well, unlike now. A fair warning would do me so much good.
“It’s hard to explain, but you’ll get the idea, probably as soon as tomorrow,” Dad told me, giving me a wry smile.
“Now I’m nervous.” I shifted uncomfortably in my seat.
“You know, you don’t really have to do this. We can still just—”
“Don’t worry, Dad, I can handle this. What’s a few days of pretending?” I said confidently.
“Well, if you say so. Just ring my phone, and I’ll be there to pick you up if you change your mind,” Dad said, as we were getting near the school. I’d been there once or twice, so I had a rough idea where we were heading.
“But please refrain yourself from recognizing me that much, okay? No one needs to know that I’m your daughter. If you barge inside my room every chance you get, they’ll be suspicious. I’m your distant relative, okay?” I kept on reminding him.
“I’ll try my best,” he replied.
“Good,” I said, looking outside.
As we turned right, a straight road surrounded by maple trees on both sides came into view. Farther at the end of this road, there was the front arch of the school. Noticing that he was going to drive me all the way inside, I hurriedly said, “Drop me off here, Dad. I’m okay here.”
“Are you sure?” He hesitated.
“I’ll be fine. I will just change these clothes, and I’ll be ready to go,” I said, noticing that I was still wearing my skirt.
Dad parked the car on the sides. The place was practically empty, since all the students were already inside. They were required to be present before six in the evening. I was an exception, because I was a special transferee and a distant nephew of Mr. Headmaster.
Dad got out of the car and coined the term that he’d be staking out while I changed my clothes. I laughed at his insane remark.
On the backseat, there was a pair of sluggish jeans and a black shirt. I was already wearing a sports bra that practically hid my nonexistent chest. For once, I appreciated having a flat chest. If it were huge like Paige’s, I’d be having a hard time right now.
After slipping inside my new outfit, I checked myself in the mirror. I almost didn’t recognize who I was seeing, no less than a familiar face in a boy get-up and new hairdo. Weirdness struck me. But shoving away the worries, I reminded myself that this was for my family.
“The bags, Dad,” I said when I got out of the car and before he could change his mind. Or before I would change my mind. It could go both ways.
“Fiona...”
“Please, Dad. We have to do this. We can’t back down now. The damage has been done, so we have to go along as planned,” I told him.
“Stay safe, okay? If you feel like you want to end all this and go back home, just call me. I don’t care if we get busted and I lose my job. I don’t want you to be harmed, please,” he added.
I gave him a hug. “I’ll be fine, Dad.”
He kissed me on the forehead. “I’m not comfortable with this. But if you really insist that you want to do something about our situation, I can’t hold you back.”
“I promise to be back soon. You’ll see me home again, probably this week,” I said, telling him what I had been saying to Paige all along. It wasn’t as if I’d be gone for weeks or months or an entire year. It was only for several days. Four hundred and sixty-five students? A piece of cake. I’d recognize Finn the moment I’d see him, and we’d talk this over right away.
“Okay, I’ll see you in school tomorrow,” he finally said.
I nodded, giving his hand a squeeze one last time before heading toward the school entrance. It was a quarter-mile away from where Dad saw me off. The place itself was secluded and a bit far from civilization. There were a lot of trees placed around the area, making the outside of the school more like a mini forest. Well, this was a very well-known private high school for boys. What else should I expect? Definitely, it shouldn’t be less than the best.
Arriving at the entrance, which was barred, I scanned the place, looking for the security office. Tugging my bag along, I showed my identification card to the school guard sitting behind the glass window. He looked at me from head to toe, before he said, “Jules Kensey? The new student?”
I nodded.
Then he pressed a certain button, and the black barring suddenly opened up. Cool. I was still watching in awe when I heard him say, “The dorm is on the left side of this building. Your room is 407, senior floor.”
The moment the black fence behind me shut closed again, I caught my breath. What I knew was that I would be out of this place in no time, after making everything okay. But then, with every step I made towards the dormitory, uncertainty crept inside my system.
First off, this place was vast. Second, I felt exposed as I went past all those guys. I was getting paranoid, with Paige’s words earlier ringing in my ears.
‘Fiona, they’re not search dogs. Humans, okay? They’re just like all those other boys you’ve seen before,’ I said to myself, as I pressed the elevator button with the name SENIOR FLOOR. I was the only one inside the elevator, so at least that was a relief. I could panic some more.
There was an inscription below the particular elevator button, which said, WE RULE. For once, I hated the fact that this awesome school had made an entire dormitory floor exclusive for seniors. Those boys knew each other ever since when, which meant that I’d be a total outcast. But then, the good thing was, if Finn was really a senior, I’d easily spot him in the group. It was less hassle compared to finding him in the entire school population.
I heard a ding, and the elevator door opened.
And third, what made me suddenly restless and very uncertain was the sight in front of me. The number of seniors this year, including myself, was fifty-four. All fifty-three of them had spread themselves around the dining hall. They were all there, looking right at me.
I suddenly felt the urge to press the Close Door button of the elevator or ring my dad’s phone. With all those rigid stares and unpleased look in all of their faces, I swore there was an invisible GO AWAY, OUTCAST! sign hanging around the place.
So fourth, school hadn’t even started yet, and I already felt completely unwanted. I forced myself out of the elevator, telling myself that I’d run if I had to. There was just one way to get into the bottom of this messed-up situation.
After a moment of silence, someone stood up from where he was sitting, moved back his chair, and headed in my direction. There wasn’t even a hint of friendliness in his face. I caught my breath with his every step.
Thud. Thud. Thud. His leather shoes steadily brushed the wooden floor.
And for the finale, I was certain that fifth, I was definitely and irrevocably doomed.
FINDING FINN JOURNAL NO. 3
I will shave Finn’s head the moment I see him. I swear!!!
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