Our cat, Lupin, is a menace. He was my cat before our two cats became both our children. Compared, Tata's cat Flowercoat is some kind of magical creature, a model of what a well behaved child should be. But, Flowercoat is old and fat and just wants to lay around and wait for her food. Lupin is still a kitten at four years old. He gets into way too many things that he shouldn't. 

Lupin eats drywall. Lupin destroys any newspaper he touches. Lupin likes to play with death by getting out onto our balcony's railing. Lupin has one brain cell between his ears, and sometimes he loses it for a while.

Like today, for example. 

In the bathroom together, we were trying to figure out why the tub was stopped up. 

"I am cursed, I am cursed. Yesterday, everything went wrong and today's it's going wrong, too," Tata sighed deeply. 

"We'll go give an offering," I tried to assure him. I didn't believe he was cursed, though. However, if giving an offering to bless it would help his mind, then we would do it. 

"Thank you," he sighed even worse. His hand went on his chin and then covered his mouth. "What could it be stopped up with? Oh, I've been using that new soap with lotion in it. Maybe the drain doesn't like it? What if the landlord sees?"

Tat, tat, tick, tick, clink, clink

"Maybe a draining snake, then, if it could be the soap," I tried. "We can go to the hardware store. They might have something. Maybe a suggestion for us, if they don't."

Tat, tat, tat

"But is it okay to leave it like this? What if something happens while we're gone?"

Clink, clink, tick

"I think it'll be ok. How often have you filled your bathtub and went off to do other things?"

Tat, tat, tat, tat, tat

"I don't know-"

Clink, clink, tick, tick, tick

"Umm..." He paused in his worries. Both of us were looking towards the open bathroom door now. Flowercoat was laid there in the doorway, lazily keeping us company. My brow raised. "What's that sound?" Tata asked, the concern still in his voice.

"Uhh...I don't know. Are the neighbors doing some plumbing, too? Sounds metal."

His eyes squinted as we listened.

Tat, tat, clink, clink, clink

"No. Noo, that sounds like it's coming from our apartment." His eyes widened. We were already going towards the door.

I stepped gingerly over Flowercoat who was unbothered by it all. "Could the water be going somewhere else in the pipe? Or- no that doesn't make sense."

"I don't know, it-"

We both paused as we entered the kitchen. My mouth was open as we tried to comprehend what we beheld.

Tat, clink, tat, tat

Tata's big gasp was all I needed to know it was actually real. He rushed over to the sink, where incredibly-

TAT, TAT, TAT, CLINK, CLINK

"DON'T EAT THAT!" Tata gasped, his arms outstretched for Lupin, who was stupifyingly trying to eat our sink's faucet. His mouth was open so wide like a snake. His teeth scraping and gnawing so hard, trying to...do what exactly? Where was the logic?

"LUPIN!" I cried out, but I was immediately laughing so hard, rushing over to him, too. 

"Luuupiiin!" Tata groaned, trying to pull him but it was useless. He just became like an unstuffed plush toy, his body stretching in an arch as he desperately tried to devour the metal. "We already have a plumbing issue! We don't need another! Luuupiiin!" 

"Okay, okay," I breathed, trying to regain my composure, but it was impossible. "Lupin, what the hell, what's happening. Come here, bad boy. Wow." I reached out to him, taking him under the arms. For a brief moment, he was in the air with his mouth still attached to the faucet like a shark. He let go with a gentle tug. His lips clenched a few times in the search for more. 

"What- is he thirsty or-" We both looked at the cats' water dishes, but they were both decently full. 

"I don't think he's smart enough to know that water comes from the faucet." Losing it again, bursting into laughter as I held him in a baby position. "Lupin, what are we going to have to do with you, huh?" Staring into his big yellow eyes. Nothing stared back at me, I swear.

"Mmm. We're going to have to put the bitter stuff on the faucet, too, like we do with wires. But then will the bitter stuff get into the water? What do we do? I don't feel right leaving him alone if he's doing that."

"We'll have to shut you in the bathroom when we leave if you try to eat the faucet, Lupin. Do we have to do that, huh? I don't want to shut you in the bathroom." Making faces at him. He didn't care.

"Um, the bathroom has a faucet," Tata said, so smart, inspecting the kitchen sink for marks carefully. "Wait, two, in fact."

Flowercoat entered the kitchen, trying to follow Tata as she always did. She laid down in the kitchen doorway heavily, her beautiful calico body draped on the threshold. 

"Flowercoat," I called to her, waving her little brother's paw at her. "Teach your brother not to eat things he shouldn't, okay?"

Tata just sighed, rubbing the faucet to see if our child's naughty teeth had caused any indentations that would further upset our landlord, another unexpected plumbing problem. I just swung from side to side gently with Lupin, no doubt encouraging the behavior by doing something he liked, unable to cover my amused smile.