HANDI

The sun shone through the Leviathan’s withered sails. Streams of light glimmered on Handi’s body. She laid on her favorite spot, a cushion of moss growing on an upside-down canteen sink, feet dangling off the end. When she was little Handi would lie there, as the sun’s warmth embraced her golden skin in the silence of an empty world, alone. She closed her eyes. She didn’t want to remember that time.

She heard Ludz stand and she breathed a sigh of relief. His foot stopped tapping to an invisible beat and instead shuffled against the grass floor as he paced back and forth behind her. He didn’t used to be such a worrier, but she supposed he was maturing in his own way. They were the eldest on the island, him being a bit older than her they think, or at least he claimed. Handi missed the days when they were the same height too, but recently he sprouted up like a weed and grew a whole head taller than her. They’re both around fifteen now, but he’d likely grow even more. Maybe then he would actually fit some of the clothing they found on the island.

“This is dumb,” Ludz said, his voice was soft and creamy like the melted chocolate they found in the Leviathan last year. He’d been going out with her to scavenge for supplies more often these days. Exploring the Leviathan was one of her favorite pastimes. It had likely once been a proud steamship with three masts and a chimney as long as their tallest tree, but as long as Handi could remember its front half laid tilting out of the island floor on the eastern side of shipwreck forest with two broken steel masks and disintegrating sails. The island had feasted on its metal body for decades; its deck devoured by grass and its pipes gave new life to flowers blooming through its metalwork. Now it bleed green vines along its side instead of smoke out of its belly. 

“They’re taking too long,” Ludz said. Handi had set up a treasure hunt for two of the younger kids: Conni, age nine, and Will, age eight. She hid half a dozen golden coins around the surrounding forest for them to find. For them to scavenge. She needed them looking out for smaller things, not just big shiny sheets of metal. It was easy to miss a small but useful gear while searching. 

It hadn’t even been an hour since she let them loose. “I hid them good this time.”

“What’d you do? Bury them?” he asked, his voice closer this time. Handi opened her eyes to find a rich honey brown staring down at her. His brown hair curled against his neck, a foot or two above her.

She sat up, crisscrossed on her mossy throne. “They’ll find them.”

At least Conni would. That kid followed her around like Handi was a god, and she had learned from their little adventures. Learned how to navigate the forest, where each leaf fell, where roots grow, where debris landed. 

Handi looked to Ludz and asked, “Did you find anything good?”

Sack over his shoulder, he groaned. “We got almost nothing from this spout, maybe we should check the other side of the island.” Handi nodded in agreement. Her sack leaned against the sink. All she found were a couple hooks, some rust cleaner, and a book she thought Stein might enjoy: Phyziks: How the World Works. He liked those kinds of sciencey things. She also scored on two dented cans of sweetened peaches, probably knocked off the side of the Leviathan but still in one piece. Those would make for a good prize for her two treasure hunters.

“I still need a string for that violin I found,” he said. 

Handi giggled. So that’s why he’s so impatient these days. “We’ll need to get lucky to find those,” she said. Finding a shipwreck with any instrument was difficult enough. For a violin string, they’d have to get another super-rich merchant ship or maybe a party boat.

Handi ran through the list in her head: cleaner, bedding, any gears or wiring, any books, any food or canned goods, gardening, and fishing supplies, and now a violin string. They barely found anything. Her island had never let her down so much, maybe Ayn found something good. She looked up at the Leviathan, maybe she could explore more inside. It was the gift that wouldn’t stop giving; they had only managed to explore the lower half of the wreckage, but maybe it was time to go higher.

Around the Leviathan’s corner, she saw a familiar flick of thin black hair. Conni emerged from behind the ship, her dark brown eyes narrowed with determination as she raced towards them. Soon Will joined her, his wavy brown hair tangled by the wind. His green eyes glared at Conni’s back as she left him behind. They both wore ragged clothing from long days on the island. They all did. Patchwork as they liked to call it, full of color and life.

Handi smiled at Ludz. “They’re back,” she announced. He rolled his honey eyes. 

Conni and Will came to a crashing stop in front of Handi and held out two small golden coins, with strange buildings none of them had ever seen etched into their backs. Around their rings read Zeri gielde. Conni held two in her hand and Will held one. 

“Handi, Handi, I found treasure,” Conni said.

“Me too,” Will said.

Handi grinned and said, “Looks like we have a winner.”

Conni gazed up at her with her big brown eyes and little chubby cheeks.

“But she cheated!” Will whined.

“Nuh-uh,” Conni said.

“She did so. She rode a giant bird all the way-”

“Nuh-uh, Handi he’s lying!”

“But-”

Handi laughed. Will was always making up wild stories, but giant birds on the island, had to be a new one.

She cupped Conni’s face in her hand. Her thumb traces the old burn scars on her cheek, that lead up to her forehead. Handi liked to call those scars a memory from a different life. “Will, she won because she’s as fast as a bird. You just need to be faster,” Handi said, rising from her throne.

Will looked to the ground but nodded his head and said, “Okay.” 

She ruffled his messy hair. She left the two treasure hunters to bicker while she stood next to Ludz looking up at the Leviathan, looming over them. All they were waiting for was Ayn and Yeshua to come back. A shiver ran down her spine. That’s where that lonely feeling came from. It was because Yeshua wasn’t by her side. She had become so accustomed to him slipping his tiny hand into hers, to always looking around making sure he was nearby, to his weight on her back as she carried him around the island. She felt light and relaxed, too relaxed.

“Hey,” Ayn yelled from a low port window on the Leviathan. She was one of the elder children on the island. Her dark brown hair cupped her face, freshly cut last week. Ayn slipped out of the small window; she held a big pillow with the corners eaten by roaches. The spongy stuffing peeked out of its case which had turned a dark moldy yellow but still kept its shape. “You’ll never guess what I’ve found,” she said, her dark olive-shaped eyes gleaming with excitement.

She was alone. The peacefulness Handi had felt a second ago drained. Her eyes widen and her arms fall limp to her side in disbelief. The anger rose as fast as the smile disappeared from Ayn’s face. “What,” Ayn asked. “Uh- did I do something wrong?”

Handi walked towards her slowly, full of a controlled fury. She must hold it in. She must hold it in. “Where is Yeshua?” she asked.

She stared back confused. “I don’t know? He’s always glued to your side?”

Handi discarded her response and turned back to the others. “Who was the last to see Yeshua?” she asked.

They all avoided eye contact. She took a deep breath; she felt that small shiver of fear crawl down her spine. The last place they saw him was with Ayn. Unable to look at Ayn at the moment Handi spelled it out for her letting the words hiss out between her clenched jaws.  “Ayn, you were supposed to be watching him.”

“What? I never watch Yeshua.”

Ludz put his hand on Handi’s shoulder trying to help her control her anger. It was barely a few hours earlier that Ayn had offered to watch him, practically begging to prove she was responsible.

She turned back to Ayn and said, “And now you never will.” 

The guilt was there in her dark eyes, but it was not enough. Because it wasn’t her fault. It was Handi’s for trusting her. She should have never trusted her; Ayn had been on a rebellious streak of teenage selfishness for the past year or two. It was foolish for Handi to think she might have outgrown it. “But, Handi,” her voice quivered.

“You promised you’d watch him. You promised.”

“I know but-”

“We’ll talk about it later.” That small bit of panic rose up in her again, they didn’t have time to argue. Yeshua was out in the forest all alone. Not to mention they had a spout today. Spouts always came in succession. He wouldn’t know how to protect himself. What if something fell on him, or what if he got wet and lost on the island. He’d be cold and alone. It would take them days to search the whole thing.

“Handi,” Ludz said, pulling her out of her panic. “I’ll check the Leviathan, you check the forest he couldn’t have gone far.”

Handi nodded. He’s right, Yeshua was only a toddler; he couldn’t have made it far even if he wanted to. They would find him. She needed to find him.

“Ayn, stay here. And try not to let anyone else get lost,” Handi said. Handi ran into the forest switching between watching the ground and looking out for Yeshua. She had to be careful when running barefoot. There were shards of glass and metal splayed across the island, not to mention nails and fish hooks lying around. It was too easy to get hurt. He won’t be hurt. 

Beams of light peaked in through the trees illuminating small clearings in the forestry. Handi ran on top of a sleek sheet of metal and yelled, “Yeshua!”

“Yeshua!” She spun around looking in all directions, while keeping her eyes on the sky. Nothing by tree and debris in sight, but no spouts yet. She slid down the sheet and ran in another direction. Maybe he’ll be on the north side of the Leviathan. 

The branches zoomed past her as her body went into automatic, dodging metal pipes, running along the branches and panels of metal, leaping over broken crates. He’s nowhere in sight. What if he went further?

She stopped again, this time atop a large boulder. Handi closed her eyes and gave a silent prayer to her island, “Please let me find him.”

The spouts were dangerous, once Ludz got hit by a falling pipe and his shoulder was out of commission for weeks. And they always came in succession. Maybe an hour or two apart, maybe one in the morning, one at night, maybe one right after the first, but there was rarely just one. She heard a ruffling in the distance, “Yeshua!” 

Handi ran towards it. He should be just behind that metal sheet. The long one with big golden bolts likely belonged to some rich family out for their yearly vacation. It ruffled again. She lifted it slowly. She didn’t want to scare him. He must be scared. Scared and alone.

A bird flew out, a small goldfinch trapped in the darkness. Her shoulders slumped, it wasn’t him. Maybe the West.

She looked around one more time before moving on and saw a familiar small ball of dark curly hair in the distance, half a head hidden behind a tree.

“Yeshua?” she said.

His head turned and those beautiful golden eyes stared back at her blankly. He was okay.