Trigger warning - reference to child abuse

LUDZ

Conni and Will’s high-pitched giggles rang down the trees. By the time Ludz had finished his quick search of the Leviathan, their laughter was ringing down from the thick bark of a tall kapok tree. They scurried up its fat trunk screeching like baby birds flying for the first time, going higher and higher.

Ayn waited at the bottom in silence, her arms crossed and eyebrows knitted into a thick line of annoyance. “Ayn! You were told to watch them,” Ludz said, walking over.

“They aren’t lost.” Her dead voice had emptied itself of any concern she should have had. 

Unbelievable.

“You did promise to look after him,” he said.

“I don’t remember.”

“I believe your exact words were.” Ludz mimicked her voice. She had a lower thrum in her tone than Handi. “I’ll watch out for him. Don’t worry, I can do this much.”

Guilt fluttered in her eyes as she whimpered. “If you say so, then it has to be true.”

“Then apologize.” Ayn needed to apologize to Handi, and soon. The longer she put it off the longer Handi would be upset with her and the longer he’d have to deal with both their sour attitudes. He looked around the tree. That was weird; they should be back by now. Handi always returned first. Sometimes it seemed like she ran through the forest with no fear. “Where’s Handi,” Ludz asked.

“She’s not back yet,” Ayn said, watching the little ones in the tree.

She should be back. Despite his best efforts Handi always beat him to the punch. She should have been waiting for him at the base of the tree with a big smile asking him why he took so long. Like usual. He didn’t like it.

“Look, Ludz!” Conni yelled, her voice barely audible in the distance.

Ludz did his best to tune them out. They were harder to manage when he was stressed. Their voices were so clear to him even in the distance.

“Look, Ayn! I’m the highest!” Conni yelled a sharp child pitch.

“Not for long! I’m going to win this time,” Will yelled, barely a note or two away.

“Nuh-uh. You’re gonna hafta catch me first.”

“Don’t go too high,” he yelled. “They’re going to get hurt.”

If they fall they would break a bone. He remembered the distinctive crack of a bone breaking. The two fragments scraped against each other as a loud scream rang through the room.

“Stop being such a worrywart,” Ayn said, pulling him out of the memory. Just tune it out, like usual.

He began pacing to distract himself, being on edge never helped anyone. He liked the soft sound of his feet shuffling across grass, getting louder little by little as he flattened a path.

“Maybe.” Maybe he did worry too much. Ayn, Handi, and he would wander the forest climbing trees, diving off cliffs, and much worse when they were younger than Conni and Will. Handi always led the way with a big splash and they would all follow. They never got hurt. They even managed with the loud rumblings of the spouts while growing up. Though the spouts seemed to be getting more frequent these days.

“Handi goes into the forest alone all the time. You shouldn’t be worried,” Ayn said.

“But, she should be back already,” he said. She was always back first. He couldn’t brush the feeling that something was off. 

“Think of it as her daily excursion.”

“I can see him! He’s coming this way!” Conni yelled from a high branch nearly at the top of the tree. 

“See,” Ayn said smugly. “I told you, it’s fine.”

Ludz tried to ignore her. He glared through the sun; he could see Conni pointing toward the north, but her head was whipping back and forth in distress. “I don’t see Handi!”

That alone sent alarms blaring in Ludz’ head. He exchanged a quick look of concern with Ayn before he started walking in the direction Conni pointed. Handi couldn’t be far. Then in the distance, barely audible, he heard the familiar rumbling of the spouts.

“Ayn, get them out of the tree,” he ordered. His confused walk turned into a desperate sprint. They just had to go to the Leviathan on a spout day, didn’t they? Handi couldn’t have gone somewhere safer for her little treasure hunt. No, it had to be like the real deal. They just had to be in one of the most dangerous places to be during a spout. 

He ran as fast as he could in the direction Conni indicated. Yeshua couldn’t have been far if she could see him from that kapok tree. Those things weren’t that tall. The rumbling of the spouts grew louder, but it wasn’t at a splitting pitch yet. He had some time.

This part of the forest was covered with debris, metal poles, engines, bolts and screws, etc. Sometimes they even found the entire front of a ship if they were lucky, but that meant on spout days an entire ship could come down on them in this area. Ludz leaped over a protruding pole; he could see Yeshua in the distance. His dark head bobbed up and down as he examined a small flower growing out of a broken light bulb. Ludz scooped him up, not stopping for a second. His hand slammed against a tube sticking vertically out of the ground, using it to change his momentum. The rumbling stopped. He traced his path back to the Leviathan, with a surprisingly calm Yeshua. He should probably be concerned that the kid didn’t even think twice about him picking him up and running off. He didn’t even let out a little peep of surprise.

The loud blast of water shooting up sounded in the distance and with it, a melodious tune entered his head. “Not now,” he said. The keys danced with the pellets of salt water that fell from the sky. The song picked up speed as he did. The Leviathan was within sight. He could see Ayn sticking her head out a small crack in its side. Her short hair turned black as the water plastered it to her face. The melody played the same three notes over and over, each time raising the tension. They were her notes, the three notes that came to his mind when Ayn was around. High and erratic, low and alone, full of conflict, those notes were hers. Her head disappeared, she didn’t see them running across the open field. Too scared to look up at the falling debris Ludz dashed for the crack.

The music stopped. They were covered. He let Yeshua slip out of his arms, as he tried to catch his breath. The music always came to him at the worst of times. Ludz didn’t understand why. He hadn’t had the slightest urge to play music again since arriving on the island, not until a few years ago. The most he had done before that was sing some hymns he remembered from going to kïrshe when he was younger. Then a few years ago it hit him hard. He couldn’t stop moving without the music crashing into his already cramped skull. His fingers began mindlessly tapping to his mother's piano back home when he stood still for a second and whenever he heard a pleasant sound a melody would form in his brain, but he didn’t have a single instrument much less a piano. He needed to find that violin string. He could teach himself to play, and then he would at least have an outlet instead of letting the notes scramble his thoughts.

Ayn punched his shoulder. “What took you so long,” she said, trying to mask the concern in her voice. The clanking of metal falling on the Leviathan filled the small storage room they took refuge in. “Why wasn’t Handi with Yeshua,” she asked.

The added noise began to give Ludz a migraine. Where was Handi? He needed her to get back, at least then he wouldn’t be so stressed. The others all looked to him for guidance in Handi’s absence. Will and Conni looked up at him with frightened eyes. “Umm,” he said, they wanted to know where Handi was just as much as he did. 

“Hey, Yeshua! Where’s Handi,” he said. He walked to Yeshua, who had run off to a pile of broken crates as soon as Ludz let him go. He sat playing with the loose pieces of wood.

Ayn kneeled down next to him and in a sugary sweet voice asked, “Where’s Handi, Yeshua?”

He doesn’t look up from his fun, but replies, “Handi with forest man.”

“What forest man?” Ludz asked, his voice coming out a bit more serious than he wanted. 

“The forest man in the forest,” he said. “He was all wet.”

Wet. If he was wet he probably arrived in the spouts. They’ve gotten a new arrival every couple of years since he could remember. It had been two since Yeshua arrived so they were due for another one, but why would Yeshua call him a man? Ludz hoped he just saw anyone older than him as a man because then they could be around Conni or Will’s age even. If not that wouldn’t make sense, because new arrivals had always been very young. The oldest one they’ve had was eleven, and even that was pushing it in their standards. It took months for Handi to even trust her a little bit.

“How old was this forest man?” he asked.

Yeshua pointed to Ludz.

“Where did they go?” he asked, more than concerned now. 

Yeshua shrugged. 

“We have a new arrival,” Ayn asked.

They have never had a new arrival on the island as old as Ludz. He didn’t know if he should be concerned for Handi or the new arrivals’ safety, she had the tendency to put older kids through the wringer. 

“She meet us at home,” Yeshua said, before returning to his wood dolls.