Lily’s bloody ending left Sara with a bitter taste in her mouth.

The goddess had implied that the diary was a guide, but it felt useless to Sara. Lily had done nothing to deserve her cheating fiance or her execution by the revolutionaries. She was used as a pawn and discarded so easily.

What was Sara supposed to learn from that?

She lay in bed, pondering Lily’s choices. In hindsight, the obvious mistakes were clinging to the crown prince and trusting that she was a priority to him.

If the goddess wanted Sara to avoid the same fate, it seemed easy. She just had to break off the engagement with the prince, and separate from the aristocracy before the revolution got her.

Then what? Sara asked herself. Do I live in this world for the rest of my life and die normally?

Before she could think any further, Nanny burst into the room as usual.

“My lady, you cannot lay about like this!” Nanny fussed with items on the bedside table while she gave her routine scolding. “You have quite the agenda today…”

Sara ignored her and stared out the window. The duchy’s capital estate was surrounded by tall hedges and thick trees to separate it from the city. She could see the trees’ spring blossoms losing their petals in the breeze. It was a soothing sight in comparison to Nanny’s grating whine.

When Nanny finally accepted that Sara was not listening, she huffed and puffed her way out of the room. Sara felt her stomach contract as the day’s first wave of hunger hit her. It brought with it a feeling of nausea, and she sipped at the water beside her bed in hopes it would help.

The duke was content to let his daughter protest for a day, but his patience was obviously wearing thin.

First, right after Nanny discovered Lily being obstinate again, the family doctor was sent.

“Your wounds are healing quite nicely, my lady.” The aged physician peered at Sara’s calves. “You should have no issue with standing and moving about.”

Sara didn’t respond. The morning weather had turned to rain, and she was content to watch the water droplets collect and run down the window pane.

“My lady, please, it is not healthy to stay in bed so long. Also, I hear you are not taking your meals. Is this true?”

A moment of silence passed before the doctor sighed, stood, and left Lily’s room. Sara considered it a victory.

In all the panic and chaos since arriving in Veridia, Sara had hardly had a moment to herself. Now, she lay back against the pillow and thought about her mother.

They’d had a rough time when Sara was younger, but now they were quite close. If Sara was really dead, she knew her mom would be devastated. It hurt her heart to think about her mom identifying her body or going to a funeral home.

Before Sara could wallow any further, a new figure entered the bedroom. The afternoon light sent shadows across the carpet that wavered as the door opened and shut.

“Lily.” The Duchess was graceful as she swept into the room in a blue silk dress. Her age was apparent from her graying hair and lined face, but it wasn’t hard to see the similarities between the woman and Liliana.

When Sara didn’t respond, Lily’s mother sighed and approached the bed.

“I know you are hurting,” she said as she kneeled. She took Sara’s hand and stroked it softly. “And you know that this will achieve nothing.”

When Sara still refused to speak, the woman placed her forehead on the sheet next to Sara’s hip. To Sara’s surprise, the older woman began to cry.

“I am sorry,” she moaned. “I could not stop him. You know what happens when I oppose your father.” Lily’s mother brought Sara’s hand to her lips and Sara could feel warm tears splashing upon her skin.

The older woman continued, face down, unable to look at her daughter. “You were my miracle baby. I was thirty when I got pregnant with you, after your brother so many years before. They warned me it would be a difficult birth because of my age, but I could not take the medicine to kill you. I bled, and nearly died from the fever afterward… But you were so perfect.”

Sara cringed at the thought of thirty being old for childbirth. She had hoped, based on the gas lights and plumbing, that they had a grasp of germ theory and handwashing in this world. Obviously she had hoped in vain.

Lily’s mother looked up, her eyes rimmed red from the tears. “When I found out your father was beating you as a child, I tried to stop him. He never did such a thing to your brother. But he… He beat me instead, and I am a coward.”

Sara didn’t know what to say. She thought it would be disingenuous to give comfort or forgiveness to this woman, since she was not her daughter.

Sara and her own mother had a similar moment of confession and vulnerability shortly after Sara had graduated from college. The scene had ended with them both crying and hugging, healing mutual pain. Sara didn’t feel like it was her place to do that with Lily’s mother.

“Why did you have to anger him? It has been so long since the last time. I thought you would be free from his violence with the prince. Why did you insult Prince Henry? You know he is your only way out of this household.”

Her impulse to comfort the woman had already diminished rapidly, and Sara couldn’t hold back. “Really? There’s no other option?”

Lily’s mother’s eyes widened at her daughter’s tone. “Of course not. Your father would never allow you to marry below our station, and there is none equal to our family but the crown.”

“And marriage is the only way?” asked Sara. She could predict the answer, but she wanted to confirm it.

“Do you plan on going to a convent?” asked the Duchess in return. “After all our pain and effort, becoming the queen with Henry at your side is the only possible reward. Are you doubting this now?”

Sara sneered involuntarily, making Lily’s mother draw back in surprise. Sara supposed that Lily had never shown such an unrefined expression in her entire life.

“Please, Lily,” she begged. “You must not give up. The crown will not tolerate your willful behavior, and your father will never let this betrothal fail. You can starve yourself and stay in bed, but you know what will happen.”

Sara couldn’t exactly admit that no, she did not remember, but she could guess.

“Your father will visit you tomorrow, and I promise, you will wish you had stopped this rebellion sooner.” With those chilling words, the Duchess composed herself and left the room.

Sara was stunned. The woman had vacillated between pitiable and despicable so quickly it gave Sara whiplash.

The Duchess didn’t seem evil, just powerless. Sara wondered if that was the reality for all women in this world, or just in the duchy.

Dinner came and went, and Sara refused to eat again. Sara continued to worry over her situation. She wondered if starving to death would be faster and less painful than hanging herself. It certainly felt awful to go hungry after two days, and she wondered how long it would take to kill her.

Suicide was a new plan and not yet well thought out. If she reincarnated, or possessed another body in another world, too bad. If she returned to Earth or woke up from her coma, great. If she just died and went into nothing…

Sara worried herself into an uneasy sleep. She could almost see the golden light of the goddess dancing behind her eyelids as she drifted off.