The white light of the window was glowing over us. My cheek was pressed to Sana's cheek, my face tucked down a little bit to reach. My favorite pose. My arms were wrapped tightly around his waist, firmly in front of me so he could not drop. Not ever. I'd never let him drop. Not again.

He was wearing a long, straight, blonde wig. One of my wigs. His favorite. It made him feel good. He liked having his hair like that. His black roots couldn't show that way. I'd reapplied his makeup, and his delicate hand was on the window, displaying his perfect hot pink nails. I could see in the reflection, his face was full of wonder. I could see my own face, so full of love for him. I was proud. 

"It's snowing again, look," he breathed, pointing now. "You like snow."

I smiled so wide. His eyes closed, and he smiled a blissful little smile. As quick as a firefly's light, I kissed him on the cheek and then pressed mine to his again. He let out the cutest giggle in the world. This squeaky, tiny thing. 

I couldn't resist. I had to do it again. So I did, again, again, again! He was laughing so hard now. The reflection of his face in the window! I wanted to sing, I was so happy. After yesterday, it felt like we had no cares in the world if he was laughing! Just laughing together. 

But. 

His hand was on the window again, splayed. He started to cough. His head dipped down, and I held on to him more firmly. He clutched at his chest. I saw tears in his eyes. My face dropped in the reflection of the window. 

"Are you okay?" I asked, hurriedly. "Oh no, Sana..." I rubbed his back as he coughed a little more. 

"I'm okay." No, he wasn't okay. He was wheezing. "It's probably from what I aspirated yesterday when I was sick. I'm okay." 

"Let's get your inhaler. Come over here. I'll get it." Without needing to think about it anymore, I leaned him back on my arm, and knelt down, grabbing under his knees, too. He wrapped his arms around my neck, a bit weakly, I thought. This had become our customary pose, too. I carried him over to his hospital bed, and laid him there. He looked grateful, but also a little sorrowful. What I would not do to put away those tears! I quickly rummaged through his candy red purse for his inhaler. 

"I ruined it." 

So quiet, almost like it was just to himself. 

"Wait, what?" I turned around, his inhaler in my hand. Oh no. No, no.

His eyes were full of tears. He wiped one away. "I ruined it again. We were having a good time. I'm sorry. I ruined it." His hands went over his precious face. 

I felt my eyes grow hot with tears. No, Sana, you didn't ruin anything. How could you ruin anything? You made my world. You are my world. 

"I always do this," he went on, sniffling little sniffles. "Always. You like snow. And now we're missing it. I can't... I can't..." He was wheezing more now. Upsetting himself. The inhaler.

"Don't, don't, don't," I breathed, quickly. 

"I did it." A hiccup of a few words. He could hardly speak. 

I climbed onto the bed with him. My hands touched his fingers. Peeled them away from his wet face. "Here, breathe. Please." He took the inhaler from my hand. 

"I just want to make you smile. Always." So quiet, I could barely hear. 

"I know, my darling. I know." I kissed his cheek. "Breathe, please."

He puffed the inhaler, breathed in deeply. I watched carefully.

"One more time."

He breathed again, sounding beautifully more open. 

I climbed a little bit on top of him, supporting myself with my arms. I stared him in the face, with a gentle expression, though I was really worried. "Now tell me. How long were you having an asthma attack when we were at the window?" 

He seemed hesitant. Sana. If he were anyone else, I would have reprimanded him, but I couldn't bear to. His nature was so shy and delicate. I just waited. There was no way he couldn't obey me. He liked me too much. If he liked someone enough, that someone could make him do whatever they wanted, and I'd heard stories of his past where just that had happened. It would never happen again.

He squirmed a little bit. He avoided looking in my eyes. I knew how hard that was for him. He loved my eyes so much. He said he could get lost in them for hours. "Maybe..." He started. Hesitated. 

"Maybe...?" I teased, smiling. Showing I wasn't mad. Oh, Sana. He had to have assurance that I wasn't mad. I could never be mad at him. How would that ever happen?

"Maybe... Thirty minutes? I saw the clock on the wall behind us."

Thirty minutes?! No wonder he'd been coughing! That wasn't aspiration from yesterday. That was his main signal that he was in a serious asthma attack! But, instead of getting mad, I found myself strangely feeling entirely the opposite. He did things like this to me. 

"Don't do that." My eyes were starting to get hot. I blinked rapidly. "Don't do that. Don't wait like that. You said if you faint, I can't help you anymore. You said it'd be an emergency. Don't do that." 

"I'm sorry. I just wanted to wait until it was snowing...because you like snow. If I could, I would give you all the snow in the sky. I'm sorry..."

That was it. Oh no. 

My tears overflowed. I closed my eyes to try to stop them, but I couldn't. I gasped, my breath shuddering. The tears I'd been avoiding for two days. 

The warmth of his hands covered my cheeks and my ears. He found my lips. The heat of it, the softness. The stickiness and peach taste of his lip gloss. Gentle, yet so... 

"Don't cry, I'll protect you, Te-chan." His weak words. Still trying desperately to please me. "I'll protect you. Don't cry. Whatever you need. Don't cry."

I leaned down, my lips touched his lips. A bit longer this time. 

I didn't need anything. Just this moment. I didn't need shooting stars. I didn't need the sun shining on the grass. I didn't need all the snow in the sky. 

I just needed this moment, his love.