I open and close my mouth in shock, I didn’t expect him to find out so quickly.

“It also explains why you are so afraid of the siren.” He thinks about it for a while. “The siren’s are like the police of mercreatures, right? Enforcing the law, and getting rid of threats?” I lower my eyes and nod. “So, the question is,” he walks towards me, “why are you a threat?”

I look up and start, he doesn't look like the man I was starting to trust anymore. He’s towering over me looking down with dark, judging eyes. I close my eyes as I remember flashes of my past. Eyes like his lifeless and cruel. I jerk back as the vet asks, “What did the siren mean when he said that you don’t belong?”

I don't like his tone, I'm scared. I let out a whimpering noise and struggling to hold back tears, explain, “I’m not like the others.” He blinks and looks at the way I’m trembling, tears defy me and go down my face as I control my panicked gasping breaths. “I shouldn’t exist.” I continue softly, “That’s why the siren attacked me, I guess he didn't expect me to let myself get hit by a boat."

"Let yourself?" The vet repeats.

I continue quickly blabbering now that I started I can't stop, "He thought I was dead or wanted me to die slowly because I woke up to find him gone.”

"But why shouldn't you exist." The vet folds his arms. "He's a siren technically he shouldn't exist either by that logic."

"I was made in a lab." It feels amazing and horrifying to admit. To finally tell someone. But I can't help but remember the bright lights and giant tank just like the ones in this room. It's not helping. I make myself small trying to protect myself from the traumatic memory. The hood is comforting as I pull it down over my face and cry softly why can I hear the sounds of a lab similar to this haunting me. I wince when the scientist touches me.

“Please don’t.” I recoil from him and back away. He has a needle. “Please don’t touch me.” He pauses and closes his hand that he stretched out, guarding his expression as he breaks eye contact with me. I keep backing up until my back hits the wall. Sliding down it I curl in on myself trembling. My heart is beating so hard and fast it feels like I’m going to pass out. The sound of a sawblade makes me jerk and I grab the sweater around my neck because I swear it's choking me like the collar I used to wear. The lights flicker and I jerk like I'm being electrocuted.

After a long while I look up from where I was huddled in the corner and realize the vet is gone. My eyes focus on the human named Andreas. The human saved him from the siren, he cares about him, right?

I’m angry, I don’t understand why the merman shut down like that. I look around for something to do whilst he calms down. I have a million more questions. ‘How were they able to make him in a lab? Logically you'd think they took an egg from a mermaid and then grew that in the lab.’ I imagine forcing the answers out of him by pressing until he breaks but the way he’s shut down I doubt I can. I look at Andreas, still out cold, good. I have to leave the room, I need to think.

Grabbing Honey I take her for a long walk. The whole time I burn with outrage, ‘Why does everyone around me have to be so sensitive? Why can’t they just disassociate and give me the information I need? I sit down near the dock and wish that I remembered my packet of cigarettes but deep down I’m glad I didn’t. Every emotion I have can’t be drowned by nicotine and alcohol. I eventually calm down and then finally start to consider the merman’s emotions. Think about it from the outside, ‘he’s obviously been traumatized so the way I reacted isn’t helpful.’ I stroke my smooth chin, ‘In fact the only way to get him to open up more is by being gentle about it.’ I’m not guilty but I know I should be and that is what makes me feel guilt.

Standing I look around and then seeing Honey completely relaxed start to head back inside, ‘How do I calm someone down who’s having a panic attack?’ Suddenly having an idea I pull out my phone and search for the answer. I go through the front door having to use the key. Going to my bedroom I grab an unused blanket and then lock Honey behind me. Going to the lab I check that Andreas is still sleeping and freeze to see that the merman is snuggling up against him. I start to protest about his stitches but then look closer. He appears to be aware that the human is injured and laying carefully. I hug the blanket closer to myself, 'I'm not used to apologizing.' I steel myself and then step forward.

The merman hears me and lifts his head. I stop when I see his broken, wary expression and ask him, “Come here?” Gently. Then specify, “It’s okay, I just want to help calm you down.” He approaches slightly less overwhelmed than when I left. I clench my teeth to stop myself from rebuking him for snuggling Andreas, ‘if he woke up it would be difficult to explain.’ Instead I offer the blanket. “If you wrap this around yourself you might feel-” He reaches for the blanket, avoiding eye contact with me. “Better?” He doesn’t respond and just obediently pads after me as I go into the kitchen. “Do you want a cup of tea?” He nods. I turn away to prepare the water, finding myself angered again by his weakness but push it down.

Remembering the instructions I ask, “What do you need?” He looks confused. “To calm you down, what do you need?” He makes a soft sobby squeak. I approach, “What?” I crouch so I’m not leaning over him. He looks embarrassed, “Can you hold me?” I nod, 'That was on the list of things to do to help someone having a panic attack.' I wrap my arms around him in a hug making sure to keep the pressure very light. He buries his face in my neck. It makes it tingle. I feel him relax slowly and deeper into my embrace, his breath stabilizing.

I didn’t realize that I had relaxed too until the kettle started whistling. I jump up before it can get too loud and make the cup of tea really quick. “C,can I go to your room?” He mumbles. I blink and don’t understand how that’ll relax him but I need him too, so… “Sure, let me get Honey secured first.” His face jerks up surprised and I see an expression I can’t immediately place, excitement probably. I go into my room and take my dog back into the lab making sure I’m in-between her and the merman at all times yet they still bristle at each other. I sigh.

Surprising Honey, guess she’s never known me to be irritated at her hostility towards everyone before. Andreas is still asleep but if he wakes up he should recognize Honey and hopefully won’t panic. I return to the merman, grabbing the tea, I nod at him, “Come on.” He follows. Opening the door I watch him tremble just outside, wrapping himself tighter in the blanket. It’s dark. I offer an arm, gently pushing him in so I can close the door. He relaxes as he looks up at me. “Can you hold me again?” He asks hollowly. I nod and place the tea down on the bedside table, crouching to hold him like I did in the kitchen, “Is this okay?” I ask, rubbing his back. He nods and I notice little anxiety tremors in his ears and bottom lip which is white, devoid of blood.

Not long after, my knees start aching and I pick him up, he panics, making me fall backwards sitting on the bed. I curse because it further hurts one of my knees. “Sorry,” I say quickly, “I should have told you what I was doing first, I was just getting sore from holding that position for so long.” He grips me tightly and just wide-eyed, nods. I resume the comforting pressure and as he adjusts his position to straddle me more comfortably he relaxes. After a minute I notice that he’s rubbing his cheek against my chest repetitively. Since doing something repetitive to take your mind off things was part of the research I allow it, it’s less irritating than counting.

I realize I’m nodding off when my eyelids get heavy enough that it’s hard to keep them open. Getting older made me realize it's easier to take accidental naps. I look down to see that he’s asleep. I sigh and adjust him so I can lay against my headboard a bit more comfortably. I didn't notice when exactly I fell asleep. My last thoughts were to steal his tea before it got cold.

My eyes open it's pitch black. I turn towards the window which shows the tiniest sliver of moon. When did it get so late? I hear something sliding and scratching at the floor and suddenly I have sleep paralysis. The scrape of something dragging itself across the ground fills me with adrenaline. I feel cold as I look over the bed to see what was approaching me. The sirens eyes look up at me from the doorway and then it hisses. I jerk awake and curse softly over and over at myself for being foolish enough to believe that dream was real.

Now that I look around, the sun high in the sky, I noticed that my bedroom in the dream was full of inconsistancies. I wasn't in the mood for this. The mercreature, where did it go?

Grabbing at the blankets I shake off the dream, ‘It’s normal to have stupid dreams due to stress, and nothing stresses me out like having two wounded creatures obsessed with me in my house.' I shake my head with disgust and calming down, get out of bed. I open the door and hear soft chatter. My whole body tenses up and I see the television on but no mercreature. I hurry to the lab busting through the door to find a very startled Andreas and the mercreature sitting together apparently talking.

I must look crazy. I motion for the mercreature to come here but he doesn't. I don't know why but he has a glimmer of rebelliousness in his eyes now. Maybe even spite? Is he mad? I feel myself becoming colder, 'It's better for him not to like me anymore but if he's not going to listen to me I'm not letting him stay here.' The merman is clutching Andreas’s arm and I don’t understand why that makes me frown. ‘Respect his personal space.’ I think grumpily.

“You both need pain medicine probably,” I yawn as if I don't care and go towards the medicine cabinets. Honey whimpers happily as I let her out on her own outside. Then grabbing pain killers from the counter stand in front of them. I offer the medicine. Andreas looks at me with awe. I guess seeing me freshly rolled out of bed and messy has some effect on him. I sleepily muss my hair, finding braids, ‘so that happened.’ The two annoying infiltrators to my life were sitting on the cot together. Andreas is obviously in some pain, “How long have I been asleep?” I ask, feeling better than I have in a while. ‘They look like they have some sort of secret.’ I think as they both silently watch me. I narrow my eyes at the mercreature who doesn't reveal anything. 'Did he tell him everything?' He avoids my gaze.

“What about you?” Andreas says, making me raise an eyebrow. He points at my long sleeve and unbuttoning it, to my surprise, rolls it up to reveal the stitches.

“I avoid medicine.” I say defensively.

“Then I won’t take mine.” He says firmly.  I go to protest but decide it’s easier to just take the medicine. He looks, not smug but it would have been better if he was, as he takes his. The merman flushes at me as he asks for water. I get up and get him a cup.

“So how long have you two gotten to know each other?” I try again. The merman murmurs something about since when I rolled over after falling asleep. I tense, Andreas is looking at me confused and jealous. “He was having a panic attack, I did my best to treat it, which resulted in me falling asleep.”

"So you guys, take naps together?" He asks slowly. Sounding like there was a lump in his throat already. I press my lips together and consider kicking them both out.

"Just this once."

"Actually twice." The mercreature speaks up. 'God, it's like when two exes meet.' "We've slept together twice." I see a sparkle in his gaze as he smirks a little, "And kissed once."

Andrew whips his head around to the hooded individual. "How old are you?!"

I tense up again, this time from the merman purposefully adgitating the situation. But I know not to interrupt and let the mercreature answer. 'Maybe he'll actually give a real answer this time?'

"I'm... lets see if it's every year," he counts on his fingers.

I roll my eyes turning to Andreas who looks very concerned, "I think he's forgetting the part where he got drunk and stole a kiss, besides, I'm not dating or interested in being with either of you."

Andreas breathes out slowly and gives me a mixed emotional look, "I thought you know, since you were living together and he came out of your room-" He suddenly looks serious, "You're not leading him on, are you?"

'I can't believe this, I just said that...I literally can't with these lovesick men.' "Sure I'm just leading everyone on because I'm not saying no hard enough." Andreas flinches a little. "Or maybe it's because of my age? A disgusting old man couldn't have any other reason to try to help two young men, letting them stay in his house, unless he wants to fuck them, right?" I glare at Andreas 'maybe I felt bad that he had a crush on me before but now I want nothing to do with him. Especially when he was hypocritically okay with the age gap when I was dating him but not anyone else. At least be consistent with your beliefs.' I realize I have a nasty expression, softening my features I walk out of the room.

"Wait!" Andreas starts scrambling after me and I tense up whirling around because I didn't feel like restitching him up while angry. He holds his chest face wracked in pain, "I'm sorry." He slowly lets go off his chest sitting back down on the cot to relax. "I'm still a little out of it. Also...jealous."

"I realized that." I huff crossing my arms.

"I'm sorry, I really am, I accused you of something disgusting. I'm no better than everyone else." It looks like he's going to really get into it and maybe start crying. I hold out my hand.

"I know that too." I lower my voice to a gruff rebuke. "I'll forgive you if you rest and don't mess with those stitches."

I look at the merman who is still lost in thought but meets my eyes when he catches me staring, "You come here right now." I use a firm but soft voice. He looks shocked. "We need to have a talk about the way you put things to others." I stalk out of the room, not waiting to see if he was following me.