Jolted awake with a harsh gasp, his heart pounding in his ears. Though his eyes were open, his surroundings remained hazy - just vague shapes and shadows in the pre-dawn dimness of his bedroom.

He blinked rapidly, trying to get his bearings, but the lingering vestiges of the dream still clung to his consciousness like a heavy fog. Flashes of imagery flickered through his mind’s eye.

A sun-dappled veranda...the soaring turrets of an ancient castle...and a solitary figure, long hair spilling over delicate shoulders as she sat facing away from him. Her face remained stubbornly obscured no matter how hard he tried to see.

He could still feel the phantom ache in his chest from the dream - a desperate longing to reach out, to turn her around and finally put a name to this mysterious woman. But in the dream, he just couldn’t move.

The frustration and the heartache of being so yet ceaselessly separated had been overwhelming. It made his gut clench with anguish even now, jolted back to waking reality.

Dragging a shaky hand down his face, he tried to calm his ragged breaths. Sweat prickled along his hairline and neck in cold beads as the last few clinging threads of the dream slipped through his mental grasp.

All that remained was a hollow ache. It was a soul-deep yearning he couldn’t quite place, permanently fragmented and just out of reach.

*********************

A sense of quiet anticipation filled the room as Hana tried to focus on updating her patient charts, but her mind kept wandering back to a short while ago. An odd, unsettled feeling gnawed at her - though whether it was longing, or something else entirely, she couldn’t quite say.

She picked up a tray, her hands unintentionally mirroring Lia’s dexterous movements from earlier.

“Would you mind tagging along tonight?” Julie’s sudden inquiry broke Hana’s reverie.

Caught by surprise, Hana nicked her finger on the sharp edge of a medical tray. Her quiet gasp didn’t get past Crystal’s vigilant ears.

“Are you okay, Hana?” Julie asked, concern washing over her usually cheerful face.

Hana just nodded at Julie’s question, gingerly shaking off the discomfort, taking off the bloody glove and quickly slipping a band-aid around the tiny cut.

“Oh, come on now,” Clara sighed dismissively from behind an armload of paperwork. “We’ve all had a scratch here or there; it’s not as if we work in a toy factory.”

Crystal didn’t comment but shot a disapproving look at Clara who just sarcastically raised her eyebrows in return.

Unbeknownst to Hana, Ren had paused mid-step to glance back at her — taking in both her discomfort and resilience under his gaze before turning away with an unreadable expression.

Clara said archly, her eyes dancing with mirth. “Getting lost fantasizing about a certain delectable trio of doctors again, were we?”

“Clara!” Julie made a show of swatting her friend’s arm, though the impish delight on her face undermined the rebuke. “You can’t just say things like that.”

Hana felt warmth bloom across her cheeks as she shook her head rapidly. “N-No, of course not! I was just...working.”

Clara made an exaggerated noise of disbelief. “Mmhmm, suuure. A little harmless eye-candy ogling never hurt anyone, you know.”

The cheerful nurse was now peering at her with an impish grin.

“What?” Hana mumbled, caught off guard.

“After work, we’re hanging out at Gracie’s,” Julie explained, a twinkle in her eyes. “You should come.”

“You simply must come out with us tonight!” she squealed, giving Hana’s arm an insistent tug. “A few drinks, some deliciously awful bar food, maybe a little people-watching...”

Panic fluttered in Hana’s chest at both the abrupt contact and the invite. Going out like that was so far outside her shy, solitary comfort zone. The thought of crowds, pulsing music, alcohol... It made her want to politely extract herself and flee in the opposite direction as fast as propriety would allow.

Hana hesitated, releasing herself from Julie’s grasp. She had never been to any public gathering without Mira by her side.

But then Julie turned her big, pleading doe-eyes on Hana, and all the flimsy excuses shriveled up on her tongue. With a resigned slump of her shoulders, Hana managed a reluctant nod.

Julie squealed again, clearly missing Hana’s apprehension as she launched into an enthusiastic rundown of their evening’s planned itinerary. As the bubbly nurse’s words washed over her, Hana couldn’t ignore the knot tightening in her belly.

“Hana,” Clara interjected tartly from across the room, “Quit mooning over there and help me with these.”

Caught off guard once more, Hana hurriedly abandoned her tray and rushed over to assist Clara.

Crystal watched them interact dismissively for a moment before turning back to her paperwork with barely concealed amusement.

And yet, amidst all these, Hana found herself gazing after the retreating figure of Ren again. His beeper went off and he was already down the hallway. The soft smile Lia gave him as they temporarily parted ways echoed through her.

Slowly turning back to assisting Clara in silence, her heart thudded a consistent rhythm against her ribcage.

She needed to call Mira.

*************************************

The door to Gracie’s swung open, and Hana hesitantly stepped inside. The air was thick with the mingled aromas of stale beer, fried food, and an ever-lingering hint of harsh cleaning products.

Her wandering eyes immediately landed on the group of nurses and doctors gathered around the corner tables. Hana felt her stomach twist into a nervous knot, but the bright smile and enthusiastic wave from Nurse Julie across the room put her somewhat at ease.

“Hana! Over here!” Julie called out cheerfully.

Taking a steadying breath, Hana wove through the crowded bar, mumbling apologies.

As she reached the high-top tables, she was relieved to see warm, familiar faces like the nurturing Nurse. Tee and the ever-friendly Dr. Rowan. But her breath caught in her throat when her eyes met the intense gaze of Nurse Clara.

“There you are, Shizumi,” Nurse Clara said in a tone more biting than welcoming. “Fashionably late as always, I see.”

Before Hana could stammer out a reply, Nurse Tee pulled out the remaining chair with a good-natured grin. “Ignore her, we’re just glad you made it.”

Gracie, the bar’s maternal owner, was already making her way over with a fresh round of drinks. Though surrounded by her colleagues, Hana couldn’t shake the feeling that she stuck out.

“We were starting to think you got lost again,” Dr. Rowan joked with a wink.

Just as Hana was about to respond to Rowan’s playful jab, the door swung open again. Dr. Lia entered, closely followed by a hesitant-looking Dr. Ren Jenkins.

“Well, well, look who decided to grace us lowly nurses with their presence,” Nurse Tee snarked, though there was a hint of affection beneath his gruff exterior.

Lia scanned the group, raising an eyebrow at Rowan. “You sly dog, how did you manage to weasel your way into this nurses’ night out?”

Rowan flashed his signature bright grin. “What can I say? You ladies just can’t get enough of me.”

As the two doctors grabbed the remaining empty chairs, Hana couldn’t help but sneak a glance at Dr. Ren. Their eyes met briefly, and she quickly averted her gaze, feeling her cheeks flush slightly.

For his part, Ren felt an unexpected fluttering in his chest when he noticed Hana. He firmly pushed it down. Still, he found himself pulling out the chair across from Hana’s without really thinking about it.

“You know, I’m actually quite curious how you managed to wrangle an invite, Rowan,” Lia said, sipping her wine. “This was supposed to be a nurses-only event.”

Ren leveled Rowan with a pointed stare, though there was a subtle glint of amusement in his eyes. “So, you just conveniently failed to mention this was a nurses’ night when you said we were meeting up for drinks?”

A sheepish grin spread across Rowan’s face as he slid a bottle of beer toward his friend. “What can I say? Forgiveness, not permission, and all that.”

Ren let out a low chuckle, shaking his head as he accepted the peace-offering beer.

Sensing the undercurrent of tension, Nurse Julie decided a subject change was in order. Putting on her biggest, brightest smile, she piped up with cheerfulness. “Okay, enough with the banter, you guys! We’re all here now, so we might as well make the most of it.”

A wave of embarrassment washed over Hana watching Julie’s antics. Despite being around familiar faces, these kinds of social situations always made her anxious. Still, she managed a polite smile, silently wishing she could shrink into the background.

Clara eyed Julie warily. “What did you have in mind? Nothing too wild, I hope.” Her tone made it clear she already dreaded the answer.

The mischievous glint in Julie’s eye should have been warning enough. “Oh, just a simple classic to break the ice...” Without hesitation, she snatched up an empty beer bottle and held it aloft. “Spin the bottle, anyone?”

Audra, the perpetually innocent one, let out a high-pitched giggle of disbelief. “I don’t know, Nurse Julie. Isn’t that a little...juvenile?”

Julie responded with an exaggerated pout. “Oh, don’t be such a fuddy-duddy!” She playfully swatted Audra’s arm. “It’ll be fun, I promise!”

The table went silent for a beat as everyone processed Julie’s bold suggestion. A few sets of eyes glanced awkwardly around, silently weighing whether to indulge the bubbly nurse or shut her down.

But before anyone could second her objection, Rowan let out a raucous laugh and began energetically clearing space on the table. “Oh, lighten up, Lia! We’re all friends here, nothing wrong with a little silly fun.” He rubbed his hands together and looked around with a mischievous grin. “Who wants to go first?”

For his part, Ren rolled his eyes at Rowan’s antics but made no move to protest. A tiny smirk played at the corner of his mouth, betraying his amusement at seeing his normally unflappable colleague get flustered.

“Julie, start first, since you suggested it, right?” he said at last, sliding the empty beer bottle towards the center of the table with a casual shrug. “We’re long overdue to blow off some steam anyway.”

His assenting words seemed to settle the matter. With a defeated sigh, Lia waved her hand permissively as Julie let out an excited squeal. Suddenly all pretenses were dropped as the group leaned forward, the tension crackling with nervous energy and anticipation.

“Okay, no balking once that bottle stops spinning!” Julie warned with a devilish grin. She licked her lips and gave the bottle an authoritative spin to get the game started.

The bottle went whirring around and around on the table, a childish energy filling the air. Julie bit her lip in concentration, silently willing it to land on someone entertaining.

Finally, it started to wobble and lose momentum before clattering to a stop squarely pointing at the wide-eyed Audra. The poor nurse looked like a deer caught in headlights.

“Ooh, this should be fun!” Julie rubbed her hands together eagerly. “Okay Audra, you’re up first. Is there...anyone you’ve had your eye on around the hospital lately?” She raised her eyebrows suggestively.

Audra’s cheeks immediately flushed scarlet. She laughed nervously, fiddling with the condensation on her glass. “Oh gosh, umm...I don’t know if I should say...”

The reluctance only seemed to spur Julie on. “Oh, come now, don’t be shy! We’re all friends here.” She gestured around the table emphatically. “The rules are rules - either spill the juicy details or take a penalty drink!”

From the corner, Gracie materialized with a bottle of soju and a spare pint glass, setting it down in front of Audra. “One truth serum, coming right up!”

Hana watched the spectacle with rapt fascination, both dreading and eagerly awaiting Audra’s response. She could practically feel the poor girl’s embarrassment radiating outward.

Audra faltered under the sudden spotlight, her gaze flickering briefly towards Dr. Ren before dropping down to study the tabletop intently. “Well...I mean, there’s this one portable X-ray tech who’s kinda cute...” she mumbled almost inaudibly.

An excited murmur went around the table as Julie clapped her hands delightedly. “Oooh, do tell! Details, darling, details!”

Flustered, Audra seemed to teeter on the verge of clamming up entirely. Her hand inched unconsciously towards the soju bottle as if considering simply taking the penalty drink to avoid further prying.

The raucous laughter and joking banter swirled around Hana, but she only half-registered it. The alcohol had unlocked a warm, floaty sensation that made her feel delightfully untethered from her usual anxieties. She closed her eyes, letting the familiar dive bar ambiance just wash over her.

Suddenly, the noise level spiked as excited exclamations and hoots pulled Hana’s mind back into focus. Her eyes blinked open to find the empty beer bottle pointing squarely at her. The realization landed like a lead weight in her stomach, the pleasant buzz instantly sharpening into prickly queasiness.

“Well, well, looks like it’s Nurse Shizumi’s turn in the hot seat,” came the unmistakably crisp voice of Nurse Clara.

Hana felt her throat constrict as she made eye contact with the other woman. Clara’s expression was iced with her trademark look of faint disdain and scrutiny that never failed to make Hana feel incredibly small.

From the moment she started working at the hospital, Hana could sense the intense perfectionist in Clara looked at her as a timid underachiever - a frustrating burden to be tolerated. The fact that their personalities were like oil and water only amplified the tension between them.

As Clara’s piercing eyes bore into her, Hana felt her defenses rising like a weight on her chest. She knew whatever question was coming, it would be laced with that subtle undercurrent of judgment that seemed to constantly flow from the other nurse.

A hush fell over the group as all eyes turned to Hana expectantly. She swallowed hard, trying to subtly wipe her clammy palms on her scrubs as her mind raced. What kind of humiliating or awkward question did Clara have in store for her? The anticipation made her want to run from the bar.

Clara’s ruby-painted lips curled into the semblance of a smile, though her eyes remained flat and appraising. “Okay, Nurse Shizumi...let’s see...”

Hana’s lungs strained against the pause as she braced herself.

The seemingly innocuous question hit Hana like a freight train, the words reverberating through her mind. “It’s an admirable sentiment but what made you believe you could be a good nurse?”

Clara’s tone was light, almost nonchalant, but the undercurrent of judgment was unmistakable. To the others, it may have sounded like an honest inquiry. But for Hana, those words dredged up a whirlpool of repressed memories.

She was instantly transported back to that searing final argument with her mother before leaving home.

The disdainful curl of her lips as she sneered, “You think you have what it takes? It's an admirable sentiment but don’t be delusional, Hana.”