POV: Skylar

"Just move in with me, there is more than enough room." Vida combs her fingers through my hair as I lay with her in her bed.

"I said we are taking it slow." I nuzzle up closer to her.

"But we have one week left until winter break, and I am going to be all alone here while you hang out with your best buddy Darleen."

I laugh.

She pouts.

"Don't be jealous. Trust me, that ship sailed a long time ago. We haven't been together since high school. Plus Darleen has her own romantic drama."

"I never said anything about romance," she points out.

I feel my cheeks flush and turn away from her.

"So why'd you bring it up?" she asks.

"I just thought that's why you were jealous of her. Old habits, Jade was always extremely jealous of Darleen."

"Well, I'm not Jade. I'm Vida, and I was jealous of her but not in a romantic way. In a she's going to steal my best friend away from me, way."

"It's only for winter break, besides, after that, I'll move into a dorm. And it's not like she'll be around all the time. She has an internship. She has to work. Plus, no one said you couldn't hang out with us too."

"I don't know, I kinda get a vibe that Darleen doesn't like me that much. At Thanksgiving, she was looking at me weirdly."

"She was not."

"If you say so."

"Chill, Darleen's a great person. You'll like her. For real. The three of us will be like peas in a pod."

"I trust you." She pecks me on the cheek.

I smile and close my eyes.

Vida makes me the little spoon and pulls the blankets over our nude bodies. I feel light, peaceful, and good.

Until my phone rings.

I grab it and see that it's Jade's job, again.

I sigh and sit up.

"Hello?"

"Sorry to bother you again Skylar, but have you heard from Jade." Her production assistant asks.

"No, but I can go and check on her."

"Thank you, please do." He says frantically.

Poor guy is probably going to lose his job with the number of times Jade keeps blowing work off.

"I got to go," I sigh and look for my clothes on the floor.

It's raining outside, and thunder rumbles in the sky.

"Again," Vida whines.

"I know, I know. I'll talk to her."

"She only does it to get your attention."

"I'll talk to her." I peck her on the lips before pulling my pants on.

I run my fingers through my now short hair, which Vida helped me get cut. I like the new bob style, it makes me feel lighter and freer in a way. It's a new me. I grab my jacket and my car keys before running outside in the rain to my car.

Then I drive to my house, I mean Jade's house, where her car is still firmly parked. It hasn't moved since I was here two days ago. I park my car and get out and open the door with my own code.

I walk inside and pet the cats as they run up to me, meowing and begging for food. I quickly feed and water them before going to check on Jade.

"Jade," I say when I see she's still in the same spot she was in two days ago.

She doesn't look at me.

"Jade you can't keep doing this!" I shout. "The cats are starving, your job keeps calling, and" I flick the lights. "You haven't paid the bills?"

"Go away," she says.

"Jade, enough is enough."

"I said go away!" she sits up and throws a pillow at me.

"No! I still care about you, and about this house, and about those cats. I'm not going away damn it. Get your ass up and go to work." I put my foot down.

"Don't you get it! I can't! I can't..." she says helplessly.

"Jade you have to."

"I can't go in front of a camera and pretend to be happy-go-lucky when all I feel is this sickening broiling pot of shit inside of me! I can't..." she breaks down.

I sigh.

I pull out my phone.

"What are you doing?"

"Calling your aunt."

"No!" she jumps off the bed and tackles me to the ground.

"Jade!"

"No! The last thing I need is her here bossing me around."

"Well, you need someone!"

"I need you!"

I let my head rest on the floor as she pins me down. My phone is too far away to reach.

"I need you..." she says softer.

"Okay," I say.

She eyes me.

"I'll move back in, temporarily. And that doesn't mean we are back together. I'm with Vida now. I'll move in and help you around the house. I'll handle the cats and the chores. Just go to work. Take a shower. Pay the bills. Get back on your feet, please." I plead.

"Really?"

I nod.

"Okay," she nods.

I get up and hug her, she quickly hugs me back.

"But seriously on that shower thing," I say.

That makes her laugh and hold me tighter.

I smile into her shoulder.

So I pack a few things from the mansion and move into the guest room.

After two days, I have the house looking spic and span and the lights are on and the bills paid. Plus the cats are nice and chubby again. And I even got Jade to go to work for the first time in weeks.

The doorbell rings and I open the door to Vida.

"Hey," I peck her on the lips.

"Hey, how are things?"

"Okay, I got the house clean," I say as I take yet another basket of Jade's dirty laundry to the washer.

"You really shouldn't have to do this." She frowns.

"If I don't she'll go on living in her depression. I have to help her."

"You're too nice of a person." She sighs.

"Relax, we don't even lay in the same room."

"Still."

"You off today?"

"Yeah, you?"

"I'm on a leave of absence. I took some time off to help out Jade."

"Skylar,"

"I know, that was dumb, I need to save money for when I am really on my own. But, I had no choice. The girl is falling to pieces."

Vida grabs me by my shoulders and whines as she shakes me.

"Relax, I can handle it. I'm over her."

"Promise?"

"Stay the night, you can lay with me in my room."

"Will Jade approve?"

"Who cares, I live here too and after everything I've had to do to help her, she has no say in my life."

"If only you really meant that." Vida pecks me on the head.

I pout before starting the washer.

"Let's go get dinner."

"Okay," I set the basket on top of the washer.

Vida smiles and pulls me into her arms before kissing me. I melt into the kiss and pull her closer.

When I pull back I look into her eyes.

She looks into mine.

Like always there is this sudden spike of emotions I get when I look into her eyes. I quickly kiss her again, in desperation. She grabs me by the waist and pulls me in tighter, her hands trailing down my shorts.

I push her against the wall unbuttoning her pants. She pulls me out of my shirt and tosses it to the floor. I kneel down and yank her pants down, kissing my way up her thighs. Vida moans softly.

Because I had the washer and dryer going, I didn't hear Jade come in, not until she walked into the laundry room and caught us.

"Oh shit!" Vida quickly pushed me away and pulled her pants up.

I jolted back and grabbed my shirt to cover myself.

Jade had this unreadable expression on her face before she slowly walked off to her room and shut the door.

"Fuck," I put my shirt back on.

"I should go," Vida moved to leave.

"No, stay, what about dinner?" I ask.

"Skylar, come on. The girl just caught us, you dated her for years! Not cool. I'll text you the dinner details. Just let me cool down first and go and put out that fire before it even starts." She pecks me on the lips before leaving.

I sigh.

I walked over and knocked on Jade's door.

"Jade? You okay?" I ask.

Silence.

"Jade? I'm coming in."

I open the door and find Jade sitting at her window, staring out into the backyard.

"Sorry about that, I didn't hear you come in." I sit next to her.

"I don't want her in this house."

"Jade—"

"No!"

"Fine, but just because she's not here in this house doesn't mean we aren't doing that stuff. I'm with Vida now, she's my girlfriend. We are intimate. You'll have to accept this. Just like I will have to accept it when you eventually move on with someone."

She took a deep breath and stared out the window.

"Look at me."

She didn't.

"Jade."

"I want you to be happy Skylar. I really do, but that doesn't mean it doesn't still hurt like hell. Maybe you can move on like what we had meant nothing but I can't. I can't... we dated for years and it's going to take more than a couple of months to make the pain go away."

"I know," I say.

"Do you?" she turns to look at me then.

"I do."

"But do you really?"

"If I didn't care about you then why the hell am I here? Why am I sitting in front of you right now instead of out with my girlfriend?"

"Why?"

"Because I fucking love you, Jade. You know I do. And you're right, you can't erase what we had so quickly. Hell, I'll be lucky if I get over you in the next five years. Even though I'm with Vida doesn't mean I'm over you. Even Vida knows I'm not over you, that's why she doesn't bring you up because she knows how I feel about you. That's why I am here every time your job calls. Why I clean this whole house and forced you out of bed, and made you breakfast because I care! I care too damn much. It's going to take time, but at least I'm trying to move on, and so should you."

"I can't."

"Try."

"No."

"Jade—"

"No."

I sigh and turn to stare out the window.

She gets up then and sits on my lap. I look up at her. She cups my face in her hands and runs her thumbs across my cheeks.

Don't do it. I beg silently with my eyes. Don't you dare do this to me now. Not when I'm finally starting to feel some semblance of peace within myself. Don't you fucking do this to me again. Don't do it, because if you do, I won't stop you.

I have no will or power to stop you.

I never have.

Don't fucking do it.

She leans in to kiss me but our lips never connect. She hovers over me, her lips brushing against mine. My breath gets caught in my throat. I close my eyes, ready for it to happen. But it doesn't.

Instead, she presses her forehead against mine and then slowly pulls away. I watch her get up and walk to the bathroom, shutting the door behind her.

I sigh in relief and run my hands down my face.

My phone buzzes with directions to a local restaurant from Vida. I quickly get up and go change, leaving behind Jade without another word. But I can't get what happened out of my head.

It keeps replaying on repeat over and over and over. The way her hands felt on my skin. The way she looked at me. How I couldn't breathe when she was so close.

I picked at my food, mulling it all over in my head.

"What happened?" Vida asks me.

"Hmm?" I look up at her.

"You've hardly said two words to me the whole time. What happened after I left?"

"I talked to her, told her she needed to move on."

"And?"

"And she almost kissed me..." I turn over my food with my fork for the third time.

"Almost?"

"She was going to but changed her mind last second. Ran from me to hide in the bathroom until I left."

"How did that make you feel?"

"I wasn't going to stop her..." I admit.

There is a long stretch of silence between us.

I finally look up and see Vida staring at me seriously. I look back down in shame, flipping my food again.

"I can't keep doing this Skylar, you're either in or out. Stop... stop using me to fill this void in your life. I don't want to be used; I want... more. I want the real thing, not the placeholder."

"I'm sorry," I whisper.

"Going back to her will only land you back where you started."

"I know."

"Then why do you keep doing this!?"

"I can't... I can't fight it. I love her."

She sighed and got up and left without another word. Leaving me with the check. I paid for the food and went back home; I mean to Jade's house.

Jade was at the bar, filling out some paperwork or something.

I sighed heavily and sat next to her.

For a moment the whole house was silent.

Then I looked down at what she was filling out, some employment documents. I eyed them in confusion, doesn't she already have a job?

"What is that?" I ask.

She clenched the pen in her hand harder.

"Jade?" I turn to her with my full body.

"If I asked you to marry me and run away together right now, would you?" she looked me dead in the eyes.

I let that question hang between us for a few seconds, actually debating its merit. Would I? Could I?

"I don't know," I say honestly.

She set her pen down and grabbed my hand in hers.

"Marry me," she demanded.

I sighed and pulled my hand away, "No Jade."

She sighed and went back to her paperwork shuffling through the stack before pulling something out and handing it to me. I read over it, it's the deed to our house, she must have paid it off. The house is in both of our names.

"I'm leaving for a while. The house is yours while I'm gone. Take care of it and the cats. Hold on to that deed for me. I'm not sure when I'll be back," she says.

"Leaving... where are you going?" I look up from the paper at her.

"I got offered a new role, they are filming in Canada. Signed on for two seasons. I'll be gone for at least a couple of years."

I feel my heart stop. My initial reaction is to say stop, don't go, stay. If ever I wasn't sure if I still had feelings for her or not, I am now. My heart feels like it's breaking all over again.

"Canada..." I say.

She nods.

I feel tears slip down my cheeks.

"Don't go," I find myself saying.

"Marry me. Come with me," she says.

But what about school? And work? And my goals, dreams, wants, and needs?

My heart is racing a thousand miles per second. I feel sick to my stomach.

"When will I see you again? When do you leave?" I demand.

"I leave in a week. And it's for a bad guy role, so I don't have to pretend to be happy anymore. They said once they saw my audition, they knew it was mine, they don't want anyone else but me. My agent says this will be good for me to branch out from kids' shows. Plus, it's more money, and it will give me a chance at a fresh start. To get away from all this. I don't know when you'll see me again, I'll try and do holidays but... I think I just need to be as far away from you as possible. If I can't be with you... then I don't want to constantly be reminded of what we had."

I close my eyes, trying to digest this new information. More tears slip down my face.

"It's not too late Skylar. We can fix this, I love you. Just say when and I'll drop it all to be with you, forever."

I shake my head no and get up and run to my room, slamming the door behind me. Then I sink to the floor and bury my head in my knees. Vida's right, I thought I was ready to move on but I'm not. I'm nowhere close to ready.

I clench the deed to the house in my hands and cry silently into my knees.