I sat up and straightened my jacket. Checking the time it was a quarter to 11pm. Calling a moving van at this hour was late but not impossible. I sighed and ran my hand through my hair one more time, before trying to be as serious as possible.

"If you want me to sign that, you need to give it to me to see it first" I said, putting on a straight face.

Sarah suddenly pouted, which made it really hard to take her seriously, but I swallowed my desire to smile and resisted the urge to pat her on the head.

"You promise you won't rip it up and throw it away? I want you to take me seriously, you have to sign it" She said grumpily.

"Fine, I'll sign the Three Cs contract. I hereby expect one of the three Cs to be provided at least once a day. Is that fine with you?" I asked her as seriously as I could.

"So that means cull-" Sarah began.

"No, there are THREE Cs. THREE. You can choose ONE of them. Cooking and Cleaning are very important Cs, ok?" I cut her off sternly.

Sarah pouted again, as if the concept of me refusing to let her eat me out was so baffling to her.

"Do you think I am not good enough? I've had a boyfriend, I'm sure it's not that different" Sarah said, sounding very sad and meek.

I ran both my hands through my hair. This was the weirdest conversation I had had in my life!

"No you are great, yes it is absolutely the same. Fine yes, that is ok as well" I said outloud but in my mind I had already decided that if that ever came up, I was going to stay at my mom's " So let's just have this paper, let's sign it, and I'll call the movers, and we'll be out of here in an hour" I said, holding out my hand for her strange contract.

Sarah reluctantly handed it over, glaring at me as I took the pen from her as well.

I looked at the contract and noticed that there wasn't any address or information about the previous tenancy agreement. It was just a blank agreement with general rules and regulations, with blank spaces to fill in all the important details by hand.

"Where did you get this contract by the way?" I asked her as I wrote my name in the blank that said " Landlord".

" Umm...you know I worked temp at that one contract firm that sublets spaces to small businesses? I took a stack of their recycled paper home the day I got fired" Sarah giggled and hiccuped " Turns out it wasn't recycled paper"

"Sarah!" I said and looked up shocked.

Sarah shrugged " Eh, the boss was a pervert, it was nice knowing that after he gave me the boot, he got the boot for misplacing "Important Documents" " Sarah said using air quotes for 'Important Documents'.

I looked back at the paper, starting to get worried that this may be in some way, legally binding....no it can't be, she is intoxicated.

I signed the bottom area where it required two signatures and handed it back to her.

"Ok, done. Can I call us a uHaul and get you and your stuff over to my house?" I asked as I pulled out my phone.

"Umm..no need" Sarah said as she struggled to her feet.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

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