“Whatever you may have seen, know that it is but an illusion.” Elder Ramus’ voice was the first thing Yuriko heard when she came to.
If she had any time to process what had happened, she would have completely lost her composure. Even now, the welling depth of disappointment and frustration threatened to overwhelm her.
“If you were given a choice in your vision, know that from what we could determine, it is only an illusion of choice. You will end up choosing the Heritage that was meant for you no matter what,” Elder Ramus droned on.
The stream of moonlight had disappeared, and the chamber barely illuminated. The incense sticks had burned out, thankfully. Yuriko had been so distressed that she didn’t immediately notice that the stench was gone.
With her pulse thundering in her ears, she could barely pay attention to the elder from her distress.
“Whatever you may have seen, it is an illusion.”
Control your fear or it will control you.
Yuriko took deep breaths to slow down her heart rate; the same technique Da had taught her for preparing to shoot also served to calm her down. And then her thoughts returned to her father’s Heritage and the last thing she’d seen in her vision.
“Hah, hah, hah.” Short quick breaths--she was hyperventilating and her head started swimming.
No, no, no! How could she pursue her dream now?
“Are you alright?”
A hand touched her shoulder and Yuriko’s gaze snapped to its owner. Krystal was kneeling beside her, concern painted on her face. “Yuri?”
Closing her eyes, she pushed away everything and focused on the now.
“Chaos beyond!” she grunted.
“That bad?” Krystal’s voice was a blessed distraction from her thoughts and memories.
Shaking her head, Yuriko focused on breathing evenly and, in a couple of minutes, she was finally in control of herself.
“I’m fine now,” Yuriko said to Krystal. The other girl looked at her sceptically. “No, really, I’m fine.”
Her clothes were soaked in a cold sweat and, when she tried to get up, she fell over to her side, her legs completely numb.
“Ow!”
Krystal poked Yuriko’s leg, sending pins and needles down the limb. She tried to swat Krystal’s hand away but missed as the other girl danced away from her, snickering. “I guess you’re fine indeed.”
“You’ll pay for this!” Yuriko gasped as she struggled to her feet.
Most of the other children were awake. Most had a satisfied look on their faces. Yuriko was one of the few who looked unhappy.
She abruptly realized that she hadn’t even checked if what she saw in the vision was true, but she stamped down that brief flare of hope as viciously as she could. If she was ultimately disappointed, she didn’t want to break down in tears. At least, not here.
“I see that you have all awakened.” Elder Ramus’ voice cut through the chatter. “Take this time to explore your Facet. We need to record what aspect of your Heritage you gained access to, how much of your Animus is locked down by it, and how much Animus you can use for it and other things.”
Elder Ramus gestured towards an open corridor. “Come, we will head to the testing chamber.”
An attendant stood by the doorway leading to the corridor. In his hands was a basket where Yuriko and the others placed their robes. They went down another spiralling corridor that brought them to a well-lit, square chamber with a long table and benches. One set of attendants placed plates and utensils on it, while another set brought in serving dishes filled with fried tubers, slices of cheese, bread, and ham.
The sudden growling of everyone’s stomachs created a symphony and, nearly as one, they rushed to the table. Yuriko sat at the centre next to a heaping plate of ham and cheese. Before she could transfer any to her plate, however, Elder Ramus cleared his throat.
“I’ll leave most of you to enjoy your breakfast. I’ll call for you one by one to record your Heritage and Facet.” Elder Ramus looked at Yuriko with a bland smile and her stomach growled in protest. “Miss Davar, if you please?”
Under different circumstances, Yuriko would have sighed in exasperation. Instead, she took a deep breath and got off the bench, footsteps heavy and knees still weak. Krystal looked at her, worry marring her face again. This, however, didn’t stop her from piling food on her empty plate. Yuriko noticed Mikel quietly observing her, frowning as she approached the Elder who then led her back down the corridor they came from and into a door just a few paces away from the dining hall.
This room was round with various runes etched on the floor and the walls. There were several jade discs embedded in the wall as well, each with runes carved on them.
“Centre, please,” the Elder instructed, where a small, padded stool stood.
Yuriko obliged.
“Now, you will visualize your Anima. There should be a pattern etched into it. This is your Facet and through it, you will be able to express your Animus in new ways.” Elder Ramus watched as Yuriko settled onto the stool. “Try to get comfortable.”
Unlike using Animus to enhance her vision, viewing her Anima, the representation of her being, involved more than sensing the Animus. She closed her eyes and relaxed her body. She had sensed her Anima before, back when Virgil helped her unlock it. She breathed deeply, evenly, and focused on her core, where the flame resided.
It danced in her mind and, instead of tugging at it, she sought to dive into it. Closer and closer she went, feeling warmer as her perception drew nearer the flame. Soon, she reached out to touch it and felt its soothing heat. The flame grew larger, from candlelight to a bonfire.
Feeling sweat bead on her forehead, Yuriko clenched her teeth then dove in.
Searing heat, then, warmth. She could see, in her mind’s eye, her body seated on a stool with her hands on her knees like she was viewing herself in the mirror except her image wasn’t reversed. As in her vision, her body became translucent and she could see the flame burning in her.
‘Why is mine a flame?’ The errant thought distracted her. The figures she had seen in her vision had balls of light.
Few spoke directly of how they visualize their Animus. She remembered Kato speaking of a tank of water that he scooped out to power his Facet. As for herself, the flame was what she had naturally envisioned since her Animus warmed her body.
Shaking the thought away, she searched her Anima for her Facet. Yuriko clung to the faint hope that she would find the Davar Heritage. The patterns weren’t easily visible, at least not to a Novice like her. She scrutinized the area around the flame but could discern nothing but emptiness at her sternum.
She felt a flash of pain and tasted the faint salt of blood as she bit down hard on her lip. Her ragged breathing threatened to take her out of her meditations.
‘Use what you have.’ Her father’s voice seemed to echo in her mind. It wasn’t as if she didn’t ready herself for this. She had, after all, always known there was a chance she would receive a Heritage different from what she desired.
‘Use the hand you were dealt with.’
Calming herself was nearly impossible and she dealt with her roiling emotions by shoving them aside. She needed to know what she had.
It wasn’t until she had explored straight up to her head that she saw it. The pattern, a small one about the length of her index finger, was completely unfamiliar. Having found it, her next task was to pull up her Animus and inlay the pattern with it.
Once inlaid, she would lose access to that portion of her Animus. In exchange, she would be able to call upon whatever power it represented in nearly an instant.
'Time to find out what I received.' Yuriko thought with a heavy heart. 'For all I know, it could be better than what I wanted.'
To begin the process, she needed to find the terminal points in the pattern. Where should she start creating the inlay?
The pattern was smaller than that of the Davar Heritage but on closer inspection, it was just as complex. She spotted a possible entry point on the upper left axis and she drew her Animus from her source, feeding it into the pattern.
As soon as the flame touched the entry point, it puffed out like she had dipped a candle flame into a glass of water.
'Not there, then.'
She looked for another point, tried it out, and failed again. Over and over, in quick succession, she tried all the possible entry points at the edges of the pattern. Over and over, in quick succession, she failed. By then, she had already used up nearly half of her Animus.
Frustration and a growing hunger finally brought her out of her trance to find the Elder watching the runes around the chamber intently. Quite a few of the runes were lit up, including all the runes inside the nearest jade disc. Only an instant passed before the lit rune flickered out and the Elder looked at her.
"Impressive capacity," Elder Ramus declared. "Did you activate your Facet?"
Yuriko shook her head.
"That's reasonable. Not everyone can activate their Facet so soon after Awakening. May I assume you received one of your parents' Heritage?"
"I don't know," Yuriko replied reluctantly. "It isn't what I wanted but I'm not sure if the Heritage is on my mother's side either. I can't seem to make any headway with activating it."
"I see," he said gently. "Worry not my child, the Threads of Fate provide what we need, not necessarily what we want. Come and look at this." He held out a jade tablet with a black crystal screen.
Yuriko got up, somewhat thankful that her legs had not fallen asleep again. Elder Ramus held the tablet out and the screen showed the number 105 on it.
"A hundred and five lumens of Animus. Impressive for a child. More than double the average."
Yuriko perked up at that. It was an amount that wasn't unattainable, but it was a strong start. It almost made up for the fact that she didn't know what her Facet was. Almost.
"You may report your Facet and Heritage when you find out what it is. Or your instructors will. Now, go and have breakfast."
"Thank you, Elder Ramus."
When she entered the dining hall, she realized that plenty of time had passed than she expected; except for Heron, everyone else had finished breakfast. Thankfully, one of the attendants handed Yuriko a heaping plateful of ham, cheese, and a little bit of everything else.
"Miss Reyn." An attendant called for Ishika and the girl quickly headed to the test chamber.
"Well?" Krystal sidled up to Yuriko and poked her side.
"Ack!" Yuriko, who had a mouthful of cheese, choked. "Chaos, Krystal, I'm eating!"
"Yes, you should eat more." Krystal quipped, "You'll need to put on some fat. Ow!" Krystal rubbed her side with a wounded look.
Yuriko wiggled her fingers at her. "You've put on too much weight."
"Hmph, you're just jealous." Krystal shook her head. "You aren't going to distract me. How did it go?"
"Not what I wanted," Yuriko said quietly.
"Oh. I'm sure you got something good anyway."
"I don't know yet."
Krystal raised an eyebrow. "Really?"
"Yes."
"I'm sure you'll figure it out," Mikel piped up from across the table.
"You're nosy," Krystal jabbed.
"Who wouldn't be with Knight-Captain Davar's only daughter." Mikel returned. He looked morose for a moment, "I think I got the Heritage I didn't want, so it's not as if she's the only one with problems."
"I'm right here, no need to talk over my head," Yuriko groused.
"Apologies, Miss Davar," Mikel snorted.
"Oh, stop it," Yuriko answered. "So...you got that, didn't you?"
"Yes." He sighed. "Or at least, I'm sure I did."
"One would think," Heron said as his voice broke, "that anyone who inherited their parent's Heritage would be happy." He flushed slightly from his changing voice but glared at Mikel sternly.
"We all have different circumstances," Yuriko answered curtly.
Heron gave her a sidelong glance before he snorted and returned to his food. "For someone who didn't get what she wanted, I'm surprised you can sympathize with him."
"You--” Yuriko blurted but before she could vent angry words, Mikel interrupted her.
"He's right, in a sense. I apologise."
"No, it's not your fault."
The other children, no, young adults now, shied away from the awkward silence. Having finished their meals, most attempted to get a feel for their Facet.
"Miss Davar, you may leave the Temple at your leisure," an attendant informed her.
"Wait for me?" Krystal asked.
Yuriko nodded and the three of them settled down to wait for Krystal and Mikel's turn. It wasn’t until a couple of hours later that all three friends finished and they left.
Yuriko had attempted to inlay her pattern during the wait, but with the combination of Krystal's incessant chatter and her frustrations, she was unable to make any progress at all.
It didn't help that Krystal had successfully inlaid her pattern and managed to activate the Facet of her family's Zorin Heritage. Though Mikel had also been unable to inlay his Facet, at the very least, he knew what his Heritage was.
Their parents were waiting for them outside and, with wordless nods to each other, the three of them headed off to join their families.
Virgil took one look at his daughter and sighed.
"Bad news?"
Yuriko nodded. The emotions of the previous night, suppressed until the ceremony was over, came bubbling out of its prison. Her eyes burned as she looked down at her feet.
Virgil wordlessly led her home. The walk, a good twenty minutes, allowed Yuriko to push down her emotions, but she felt like a tea kettle with its water coming to a rolling boil.
At home, there was only Rami whose bubbly optimism was like a painful scald. Yuriko brushed him off brusquely and rushed to her room.
She didn't see her little brother look at their father with a hurt look, though she could well imagine it. She'd make it up to him later.
Upstairs, she shed her sweat-soaked clothes and filled the bathtub with steaming water. She allowed it to cool slightly, before settling in, allowing the heat to soothe the cold she felt on the inside.
Suddenly, nothing about her future seemed so certain anymore.
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