‘I am waiting in the dark.

I thought that you’d be here by now. There’s nothing but the rain. No footsteps on the ground.

I’m listening but there’s no sound.

Isn’t anyone trying to find me?

Won’t somebody come take me home?

It’s a damn cold night. Trying to figure out this life.

Won’t you take me by the hand, take me somewhere new?

I don’t know who you are, but I…

I’m with you.

I’m looking for a place, searching for a face… Is anybody here I know?

Cause nothing is going right. And everything’s a mess. And no one likes to be alone.’

My entire adult life could be summed up in an Avril Lavigne song.

‘I don’t know who you are, but I… I’m with you.’

I cried so many times listening to this song it’s actually embarrassing to admit it.

I would blast this tune inside my old bedroom in my parents’ house and cry for the longest time over not being mated.

When you are a teenager, you think high school is your entire life. It’s an inescapable four year period that seems like it is the rest of your life. It is as if those people, your classmates, are your entire world.

Nowadays, eleven years later, I talk to maybe a handful of people from my class. There is Thomas, of course, two or three warriors who work with me and acquaintances that message me on social media.

I thought myself to be the biggest loser of high school for having graduated still unmated. My parents told me I was not the first student to do so, but all I could see at the time was a horde of mated, marked and happy couples going off to college.

I know I am a privileged individual who got his dream job and never has to worry about money for the rest of my life. I am fully aware of my blessings, but none of this meant anything without a mate.

Then I became Beta of the pack - the first unmated one in the pack’s history - and was given a lovely big house for me to fill with my future family. A mate, maybe a pup or two… That was all in the plan for my life after high school.

I was not too bummed about not going to college, I knew it wouldn’t make a difference in my life in practical terms. I already had a job secured for life, my dad made sure of it.

But as the years advanced since my ascension ceremony, in which Phillip and I became Alpha and Beta of the pack, I remained mateless and alone. Suddenly I was forced to go on my first vacation, time to blast off the Avril Lavigne song that is the soundtrack of my life.

‘Isn’t anyone trying to find me? Won’t somebody come take me home?’

Where was my mate that I could not find anywhere?

I traveled to every single allied pack in the state of Texas. If there was one unmated person there, I went for it. I never discriminated against anyone. I don’t care about my mate’s ethnicity or background, rich or poor, college student or not, warrior or unemployed.

All I ever wanted was to find him, whoever he was.

Of course, there was only one demand. One requirement that I could not be okay without. I needed my mate to be a man. I am queer as hell, so it wouldn’t make sense for it not to be a male. And if by any chance he is an Omega, the better for me.

Like I said before, I would love to have kids. But even if the Goddess couldn’t spare me an Omega, I would find a way to be happy with Her decision. She would probably have a good reason behind this pairing that I would likely fail to see, but I would do my best to respect whatever Her choice was.

I was practically raised from birth to believe that as werewolves, it’s the Moon Goddess’ prerogative to pair us up for life with whoever She chooses. You are allowed to reject her choice, of course, but that would mean eternal loneliness.

Yeah, I do not want eternal loneliness. Never did, as a matter of fact. On the contrary, I was born to mate for life with the partner that was selected for me by a higher power. I believed in that fate wholeheartedly.

I actually looked forward to it.

Despite my good looks and money, I never wanted to have a boyfriend during high school. I didn’t want to risk getting my heart broken or putting a pup inside the ridiculously hot Omega that loved to flirt with me back then.

I did what I was supposed to do, I didn’t get attached to anyone.

While I would be lying if I said I graduated high school a virgin, I did my best to save myself for my mate. But he never showed his face to me. Not ever.

I spent most of my twenty’s wallowing in self pity over the lack of a match.

Why was I left behind? Did I do something to anger the Goddess in some way?

Why did She forget about me? I cried over the sound of sad tunes, but I never got my answer. I was told to power through that one day my mate would come finding me. But he never did.

‘I don’t know who you are, but I… I’m with you.’

I cried every birthday, the holidays were particularly tough on me, though I have a big family to celebrate the date with. Then it was my brother’s turn to find his mate. He did it in high school like he was supposed to do. I tried my best to be happy for him, really.

But once again, I would blast off some Avril and cry myself to sleep.

Why isn’t anybody coming to claim me? What could I have possibly done to deserve a decade of loneliness? Please, somebody tell me what I did wrong, I am not above apologizing. I was raised by a school principal, though she was still vice principal when she had me.

I had to toughen myself up. I am the Beta of the pack, so I could not risk people worrying about my mental health. I pulled myself together as I must. I had to put on a brave face, a fierce front. There is no other option. I cannot lose this job. 122 people depend on me.

I mean, tens of thousands of pack members depend on me to be the protector of the pack. The warriors depend on me to guide them. My father used to say: ‘warriors are the arrows but a Beta is the bow, without a proper aim arrows are useless’. And he was right.

I could not afford to drop the ball. It is already bad enough I am the last Beta Cortez of this pack. At least, as far as I can tell. The next Alpha is already born and I didn’t even have a mate, let alone was able to produce an heir.

Of all the feelings I had over my unmated status, this is what killed me the most.

I am a third generation Beta, but I will be the last one for I had no mate to show for and consequently no child to pair up with Phillip’s son, who is now five years old already. It’s too late for me.

It’s so weird being a werewolf. You would think shifting into an animal would be the strangest part, but far from it. It comes naturally to us after the first time. What is actually weird is having no choice in a partner. What is up with that?

How is it normal to wait around for a random person to find you? To discover your existence, in some cases like mine I do mean that literally. I had to discover my mate or I would never have been mated at all.

We as werewolves surrender ourselves to a higher power to match us. It is mind boggling at times. I cried for so many years while I waited and waited for a higher form of connection to be made, only to be disappointed when it didn’t.

That was then, this is now. I am mated now at last.

After I accompanied Carlisle to the mall to retrieve his car, I followed him back to the pack house where I left him. This day has been so overwhelming. I never expected to find my mate today of all days, least of all that he would have an unmated child.

This is truly mind boggling to me, especially the dire circumstances in which he had the child. It is not unheard of for Omegas' heats to generate unmated pups, but this was the first time ever that I learned that someone attacked a person while they were struck by heat on purpose.

On purpose.

Hell, that is something only a psychopath could think of. It is so fucked up it gives me chills to even remember this fact. How is that even possible? I mean, I know how it was made possible. I am just baffled that an Alpha did this. To the Beta’s son of all people!

When I arrived home at last, there was a boy sitting on my front porch.

With everything that happened this afternoon, I had completely forgotten about the text message I sent to Owen inviting him to my house. It was supposed to be a send off before I went on vacation to California, but now everything has changed.

I felt bad to see him there, waiting for me innocently. I would love to take care of him tonight, but the circumstances have completely changed for me. My reality has shifted in a matter of hours.

“Hi, Owen. I am so sorry for keeping you waiting. I really am.” I began apologizing to him as I got out of my car, looking remorseful.

“Hi, Stephano. It’s fine, I hear you had quite the afternoon today.” He surprised me by saying that.

“Oh.” - I gasped in shock at that. - “You heard about that already?”

“Oh yeah… It’s all everybody’s talking about back at the training center. The Beta has found his mate. And his mate already has a pup.” He told me in an awkward tone.

I gaped at him as I learned the gossipy warriors were already commenting about my mate and his unmated pup. I am surprised that my parents haven’t heard about this just yet. With what happened at the mall earlier and the warriors later, the entire pack will hear this by tomorrow at the latest.

“I see men are still a more gossip than women then.” I commented, rolling my eyes at this.

“We certainly are. How are you doing? Are you okay?” He questioned me, both of us standing by my front door.

“I am fine, happy to be mated after eleven years of waiting.” I replied, a bit uncomfortable. If Owen knows I am already mated, what is he doing here? Not that I don’t appreciate the visit.

“I can empathize.” He said in an awkward tone.

“You are only 18, Owen. I am sure you’ll find your mate in no time. Maybe he is in college.” I encouraged him, saying what people told me back in the day.

“Thanks for saying that. Anyway, I just wanted to check in with you. I am sure what you had planned for tonight is out of the question now.” He said with a hopeful gaze. He is so endearing to look at. If this was any other night… before I was mated, I mean.

“I am sorry, Owen. You are a great guy, but I am mated now. You know how this goes.” I said, remorsefully. I felt bad for him, truly. But I did not come this far to fail my mate now. That is not in the cards for me, not ever.

“I do know and I respect you for it. You wouldn’t be the man I thought you are if it didn’t. I just came to tell you to have a great time with him. I wish you both the best. If there’s anything I can do for you, I am around.” He spoke with one gentle touch on my hand.

I smiled at him and waited for him to get into his car and leave. As he started his car, my brother, his mate and their son arrived in a Ford. My parents parked their Toyota right behind them. Well, that was fast… I didn’t even have time to open the door.

“Oh my Goddess! You found your mate and he’s an Okie?” My brother greeted me, referencing the fact that Carlisle is from Oklahoma. My family greeted me with multiple hugs and pleasant smiles. My mom and dad looked radiantly happy for me.

I opened the door for us to enter my house and my family and I talked for hours.

I was yet to have dinner but they didn’t mind keeping me company while I ate.

They expressed their absolute joy for me to have found my mate at last. Of course, we talked about the elephant in the room, Carlisle's unmated pup. But that is not a deal breaker for me, especially under the circumstances in which that took place.

I am aware of the prejudices Omegas face because of the risk of an unmated pregnancy. I cannot relate to them personally, but I can empathize. My mom is an Omega as I have said before, so I was raised well. She was so happy for me to have finally found my mate.

This is what I have always wanted. Not only to feel like a part of the family, which I do, but to feel like a part of society as well. The mated werewolf society. It’s impossible to describe how awkward I felt all those ‘unmated’ years.

It is as if I was finally let in on the private joke that only other mated people understood.

I felt like I was part of something greater than me, as if I had a higher purpose. It was serendipitous for me to have discovered my mate now, but I am pretty sure there was a reason for that.

From what I can understand of my mate’s story so far, he could use a partner, a protector, a safe haven for him and his son. Well, I am here for you, mate. If you needed a warrior, here I am. Use it at will.

My dad hugged me with tears in his eyes. He told me about all the times he prayed for me to find my mate and fulfill my destiny. Of course, at the time we had no idea what my destiny actually was - or at least not fully. It brought tears to my eyes to watch my family being there for me. They always have been and I absolutely love them for it.

Dad already wants to meet Carlisle and Charlie, but I told him to give it some time. They have to get settled first and who knows what the future is going to look like for them. I still don’t even know if I am going to be accepted as a mate, though I certainly hope so.

By eleven p.m. my family had gone home and I was about to rest for the night.

It was then when I received an alert on my phone reminding me of the flight tomorrow.

Oh my Goddess, I have so much to do. I didn’t even cancel my flight just yet. I also need to cancel my hotel reservations. Who gets mated one day before their vacation starts anyway?

The next morning, I drove to the pack house to check in with my mate. He was leaving the dining room while his son was already inside the playroom. He smiled at my presence which in turn made me happy and I grinned at him as well.

“Good morning, mate. How did you sleep last night?” I greeted as I approached him.

“I slept better than I have in a week, to be honest. I still can’t believe I found my mate and that you are him.” He spoke, perplexed.

“Are you disappointed?” I questioned him, worriedly.

“NO!” - He shouted at me, feeling mortified for causing me to have to ask him that. - “No, I am not disappointed at all. Are you kidding me? Just shocked, that’s all.” He assured me. I chuckled at how emphatic he spoke the ‘are you kidding me’.

“Trust me, I am shocked as well. In fact, our delayed mating is the talk of the town.” I spoke, mildly annoyed by this.

“I understand. It’s not every day that the Beta of the pack gets mated to a foreigner.” He commented, widening his eyes at the fact.

“You’re from Oklahoma, not France. But I get your point.” I snickered.

“Today is your first day of vacation?” He asked me, timidly.

“Yes, it is. I am all yours.” I blurted, then blushed at his reaction.

We stared at each other for a minute, both blushing from the chance encounter and sudden mate pairing. Until yesterday afternoon, I was one person but now I am a different man. A committed man. Everything has changed.

A|N: I did not want this song to name the chapter.

But I almost never get my wish… LOL

‘I’m with you’ is featured in ‘The Twins Mates’ and therefore is precluded from being featured here, but otherwise is a great song.

Next is "You are not alone".

Love,

Léo.