Patrick

---

When I leave my office to look for Lisa, I find her sitting on the 4th step of the main staircase with her head resting on the railing, and it was like seeing her again as a 10-year-old girl, that was always her space to think when she was sad, sitting next to her I rest my arms on the steps looking towards the door,

"I, (...)

*sigh*

 

''I'm sorry honey, I thought that as an Alpha I was doing the right thing (..)"

"And as a father, dad?'' she tells me looking into my eyes, about to cry while she stands with her fists clenched at her sides and begins to walk from one side to the other,

"Did you think I didn't have feelings or what, because it really seems that way; I usually question your decisions but I always manage to understand where your thoughts lead and I choose to accept them but this, dad, I'm not going to accept this." Ahhh how hard it is to have your own daughter lecture you when you do something really stupid,

''Honey, I (...)''

''Hold on dad, let me finish''

''Ok, go on"  and I say it in a slightly less serious tone, and that apparently works because she sits down again

''Wait a minute, why do you have the face of a scolded child huh? ohhh ok ok I got it now, it's because you know you did wrong right? ahahah dad, I love you, we love each other with our whole hearts but the fact that you tried to trample on my feelings is something that i'm not going to tolerate from anyone, not even you, dad.''

ouch

''I know hon, it wasn't the right thing to do, i thought that if i arrange your marriage with Jaden maybe you can have someone at your side, someone you can really trust and it's even better if this person becomes your best friend like how it happened to me, when you take charge of a pack it's important to know who you trust.'' damn, how difficult is this parenting thing and it gets more fucked up when you screwed it up,

''Do you know how we met? I mean your mother'' taking her hands in mine i watch how time went by quickly, it's as if it had been yesterday that i cup her in my arms

''I know a couple of things that Uncle Brimm told me but i don't know the whole story, will you tell me how mom was like?'' God, seeing her eyes full of tears makes me wish it was Amanda who was here, and even though I've done my best all this time, she was always the more empathetic of the two of us,

''I'm older than Amanda by 2 years, our packs back then were in dispute over the lands that are Brimm's now, your grandfather Theodoro, he was a motherfucker, he wasn't a good person, honey, he never considered us part of his family neither to my mother, nor to Brimm, much less to me (...)'' I didn't expect to tell her this, I feel a lump in my throat and a rage that I thought was extinct in me emanating, making the air heavy with pheromones, she shouldn't know the ugly part of our family, she (...)

''hey, it's okay, they're not here, it's just the two of us daddy, if you want you can tell me this another day'' ha, my daughter trying to confort her old father, she's definitely grown up 

''no, honey  ( ...) I don't think I can do this without coffee, because this is going to take a long time, want to join?'' I get up from the staircase feeling my heavy 200 years on each fucking knee

''mhm that sounds like a good plan''

Crossing the threshold of the door, I see how she comes forward and place the water on the stove to make coffee; I decide to go to my coffee station, take the grinder and open the new bag of blend that Brimm brought me from his last trip,

''oh my god, you haven't finished Uncle Brimm's coffee yet'' mm? I look at the bag and it's really not like I care much, these days I just need caffeine to get through; well, at least thanks to him I now know how to distinguish different coffee roasting, "I see you excited about it, do you want it? Take it, I can always ask Brimm for some.'' It's not like he doesn't always bring new bags of coffee from his trips, fuck, I just remembered I have 2 missed calls I should call him back and let him know I need him to sign the paperwork of the expansion at Alexandra's clinic; While we make coffee, I try not to remember that past that used to torment us so much.

''We'll use the Chemex, is the best method for this coffee, hey by the way, where is it?'' Lisa asked

''It's here, you know, I have avoided this topic for so long that I don't know where to start...'' I tell her as I watch the water pouring for the coffee and then, that delicious aroma begins to fill the kitchen so I go ahead and sit looking out the window that overlooks the backyard,

''You know that no matter what you say I won't stop loving you daddy'' she tells me, smiling.

''hahaha I know honey'' I see how she finishes making the coffee and brings it in some green cups that I didn't know i had, she places the cup in front of me, 

*sip*

''When we were just kids, one of the first memories i have is holding Brimm in my arms and protecting him from our father's rage, while my mother stopped that violence toward us, we were 6 and 4 years old when my it crossed in my father's mind that we have to fight for our survival and see who deserved to be the succesor and therefore who would have his attention, because he was a sadistic tyrant who loved control so, for obvious reasons whoever was left out of his stupid competition would be vanished of all West Bridge and marked as not 'suitable' to be the Alpha in charge, even though we are both Alphas (...) that's how our years went by, fighting, competing for resources, the old man used to tie us upside down to some logs and place food nearby so that we would become famished and think only about ourselves and less about our brotherhood and ourselves; There was a long time that Brimm succumbed to this type of treatment and he only thought about beating me and being the best, at least he managed to get the Alpha's attention but many years passed and he almost (...)"

''Uncle Brimm was the next Alpha then? I don't understand...then why are you the Alpha here?''

''As i was telling you my impatient daughter, he got the privileges, I wanted him to be the favorite because since he was born the only love he had known was from my mother and me so as you will see, the old man's approval was everything for him; So I make a plan that was to take him to the council and ask to remove the old man as the Alpha position to get rid of him, but it wasn't that easy, the Alpha discovered it and from there everything went to hell; I was 16 years old, I was young and stupid, so I thought I could extract information that could help me confront him or do something against him because I wasn't the only one unhappy with how he managed the pack back then (...) I remember that time he left with Clarence, Amanda's father, so I infiltrated the main house and set out to look for any kind of documents that would give me an indication that I could screw him up and bring him to the council but I found something more than that Lisa (...)''  just remembering it gives me chills

''For God's sake daddy, you can't leave it like this, what did you find, what happened?!''

''I found documents where he made deals with other packs, I never managed to find more information, I only knew the initials of that A.R project (...) I don't remember the rest but, they had been trafficking shifters, for a purpose that I don't know, but I'm sure it wasn't any good.''

''My God, I can't believe this'' Lisa seems astonished as i talk

''unfortunately, they came back faster than I thought so taking what I could into my pocket, I tried to open the window but it was completely sealed, I didn't know it was just for decoration, at that moment I was afraid because I didn't know what could happen to me and as nervous as i was, i saw another door and before I could reach it trying to escape, his second in command, Jackson, attacked me with his claws throwing me to the wall on the other side of the room and wounding my shoulder, I struggled but obviously I wasn't able to beat him, I remember hearing my father's laugh and talking something while I was bleeding and writhing on the floor from so much pain; When I raised my head I saw Brimm coming through the door and with a face full of horror he tried to act but I yelled at him to stay where he was, so my father picked me up with one hand and dragged me from his office and through all the streets of the small town; throughout the journey I tried to get away from his grip but it was impossible so he took me in that position until we arrived again in front of the main house, which was where all kinds of events were held; exclaiming that I was a traitor that I was no longer his son and that he had to deal with me as one fucking traitor, at that moment my mother, Josephine, came out into the crowd and tried to defend me shifting to fight with my father and of course, that was taken as an act of revelation against the Alpha so they would fight to death, I think there were many years of accumulated anger on both sides,''