The Next Day... at the Dude Ranch

Ravi
(Sigh.)

Thor
What's wrong?

Ravi
My family invited me and my mom over for dinner, but the whole family is just... pain, spiraling outward. And I already have enough of that to feel for a lifetime. My little cousin wants me to suffer for "abandoning him", but when I'm there, all I end up doing is suffering anyway. He even baited me into snapping at him so she could use it as ammo with his mom. And SHE just wants me back as a spineless chore-whore like she used to have. Perry's like the devil on everyone's shoulder, feeding their worst tendencies, all while pretending he's some sagely mentor that knows everything and can read minds. Then they all say I'M the bully, in their sick virtual reality. It's like their brains are backwards inside their heads. Worst of all, my mom just sits there and eats vegan stuffing. She doesn't even defend me.

Thor
Wow. Y'know, I was gonna interrupt you, but I know exactly what you mean. My mom and step-dad, they're like this old cowboy couple in the prairies. My mom loves her hero, old Odin, but he's a retiree who likes cop movies, with no criminal to catch. So instead, they just catch me. I'm a wild child, sure, but mostly I just run around and climb trees. Or, I walk around with my best horse friend, Morlock. He's named after a wizard.

Morlock whinnies. Thor and Ravi each hold a side of his reins, as they walk him through the tall, dry yellow grass.

Thor
It's like... they need us to be the bad guy so they can get their thrills, but I don't want that. So whenever I feel bad, I just come out here and spend time with my horse. He's got a way of making me feel like... everything's alright again.

Ravi
Yeah, he's... he's nice.

Ravi pets Morlock on his soft, black hair. His mane blows in the wind, and he shuffles around. The grass shimmers with waves of gold.

Ravi
Do you ever ride him?

Morlock
Neeeigh!

Thor
No, he's not "broken". I'm not really into the idea, either. A horse's back is more delicate than people think. I'd cry if someone whipped or spurred him. And I can't carry around a person all the time either, even if they are half my size.

Ravi
Aw.

Silence. Birds chirping. Bugs buzzing. The horse stomps his feet.

Ravi
Y'know, I keep waiting for some kind of sick, dark punchline to all this peace. But it never comes.

Thor
Yeah, it sure is beautiful around here.

They watch as the clouds roll by. The air is brisk, but warm, too. The sun peeks out and shines on them. Thor peers up, his long blond-dyed brown hair falling to show his intense, blue eyes. His features are strong, even in his forehead. Despite these traits, he looks at peace with the world around him. Like he's a part of the natural environment itself.

Ravi
Do you... wanna make out?

Thor
Not really, but thanks for asking.

Ravi
(Blushing.) Yeah, no problem.

Thor
I'm seeing Allie right now. She used to live in the city, but she moved here last year. At first, she was kind of posh and abrasive, but she's loosened up a lot.

Ravi recalls the girl in question, whom she's seen in class and had heart-pangs for the size of a tom-drum. She once asked for a pencil, and Ravi was so nervous she gave her the best one she had. She didn't even know her and Thor were dating.

Ravi
(Absent-mindedly.) Oh, yeah. I like her.

Thor
You what?

And then instantly, it's like having two of your crushes turn into a power couple, standing over you.

Ravi
(Nervous.) I mean, uhh. She's cool.

Thor
Yeah, yeah she is. Like her... uh...

Ravi
(Meekly.) Short blonde-dyed hair, lively green eyes, and adorably strong face?

Thor
(Unbothered.) Yeah. That. Thanks, I'll tell her I said that.

Ravi
(Dejected.) ...you're welcome.

Thor
(Waving broadly, looking out.) You know, Lanzo's family has always lived here. They're just a few houses down. I think he's dating Harley, but nobody's really sure. He's friends with Amira.

Ravi
Amira, yeah, she's...

Thor
Coach Fadel's daughter.

Ravi
Coach who?

Thor
But yeah, I like Amira. She's sporty, and athletic, and hot.

Ravi
(Grinning.) Hot, huh?

Thor
Yeah, she's super warm to touch. She held my hand once in a three-legged race, and my tummy lit up like it was on FIRE. It was a beautiful feeling.

Ravi
That's really sweet. Why are you dating Allie, then?

Thor
Huh? Oh, because she likes me. Nobody's liked me since the fourth grade. She thinks I'm like a muscly jungle man. Hahaha. I guess I'm just strong.

Ravi
(Pensive.) Yeah, I guess I can see the appeal on both sides.

Morlock gets impatient, and starts shifting.

Thor
He needs to move. Come on, I know a nice spot with a big, shady tree we can sit under.

Ravi
How long will that take?

Thor
I dunno, let's find out!

They start walking. They big tree is on the horizon, maybe a kilometer away.

Ravi
Your family's wheat field is huge.

Thor
Yeah, but even with the tractor, it's a lot to ourselves. Even just to get around. That's why I like having parties, like last week. Do you know of any birthdays or holidays coming up?

Ravi
There's Halloween.

Thor
Oh, yeah. I like Halloween, too bad Amira can't celebrate it with us.

Morlock
Snrf.

Morlock starts pooping as they walk, the big grassy pellets falling behind them... Ravi covers her mouth.

Ravi
(Muffled.) Why not?

Thor
Baba won't let her, he says Halloween is "haram", which apparently means 'not allowed' or 'bad'.

Ravi
Yeah, I know. My other uncle's like, a mix of Hindi and Muslim. Not my thing, personally. But that sounds like a real crazy story.

Thor
Nah, that's all I know. I don't really tell stories in that structured way, where it's all "Once upon a time..." and stuff. I just like talking, and seeing what gets said.

Ravi
You're a pretty relaxed guy.

Thor
Thanks! You too, when you're not all fidgety and affectionate.

Ravi
(Flustered.) Uhh... yeah, sorry about that.

She tries to keep her distance from him, despite the rising urge to jump into his arms. Allie must have her hands full with him. Unfortunately, she doesn't have a relationship of her own to reliably compare to, so instead of understanding, she finds herself overlooking an empty pit in her heart. Each step sends echoing thunder down her chest and into her legs. The dead underbrush ensnares her shoes and dampens her toes through her socks.

Thor
It's like you're scared to be alone, sort of. Like if you stop chasing love, you'll wither up and die.

Ravi
Yeah, maybe...

Thor
You just gotta relax, and let the love come to you.

Ravi
What if... the wrong love always comes your way, and you're just trying to find someone nice to fill that void for you so nobody else can?

Thor
Well, if someone disregards your boundaries and personal space, they probably won't stop just because you already have someone. Eventually, you just have to teach yourself that you deserve to feel safe when you're alone. Or that you can brush the wrong people off without guilt.

Ravi
It's like... an invisible hand sliding up behind my rib-cage, threatening to pull me apart by the bones and devour my insides. Or chains, dangling around my neck.

Thor
Wow, that sounds fucking scary!

Ravi
...

Morlock
...

Thor
...

Ravi
...yeah, it is.

Thor
Don't worry, I'm not gonna touch you like that. And I'm definitely not going to devour your insides.

Ravi
Why not? There's nobody here. Isn't everyone just a mad beast waiting for the cover of night to strike? Are we not just pretending at the stage-floor of polite society until we can commit cruelties in private?

Thor
Um... no? But that reminds me of the time I let my cat out at night, and there were coyotes howling, and I tried to find her, and she was GONE, FOREVER.

Thor's eyes tear up. Morlock shuffles closer so Thor can lean into his mane.

Thor
(Crying gently.) I was so sad. I miss her so much.

Ravi
(Feeling guilty.) Oh, aw. I'm not like that either, I just... it seems like everyone I meet is evil.

Thor
I don't know anyone evil, at least not that I'm aware of. Maybe my dad, a little bit. He's got a thing for guns that makes me nervous to go home. It's like... a plate goes flying, and then explodes! KRA-KOWW! SMASH! "Hello, chums, just doing the dishes!"

Ravi
I can't tell if it's like... they're all evil, or if my aunt has just chosen a string of evil men that she allows to corrupt and corrode the entire family, until their wills and identities are washed away. But, I definitely have two evil grandpas. A mad scientist, and a mad scientist CEO. One on each side of the family.

Thor
(Still petting the horse.)
People say family is like a tree, but sometimes, it's more like a pond. Whatever's in the water ripples outward, and affects everyone in it. And like a tadpole, even though you were born in it, you can still drown in it when you become a frog.

Thor stands back up straight, and they move along.

Ravi
That's exactly how I feel. Completely smothered, like my caretakers got to have privacy and I didn't. Everything was just murky, black water. If one person pisses, I have to drink it.

Thor
Hahaha!

Ravi
Okay, not literally. But my cousins did push me once when I was peeing, and I accidentally got my own pee in my mouth.

Thor
(Grinning.) Gross.

Ravi
Everyone's emotions just run together in that home. You can't tell where one person starts and another one begins. No independence, no free will, no opinions. And yet, when I'm with friends, who I actually enjoy hanging out with, I feel like I have wooden roadblocks around me and blinking yellow lights. I'm scared if I connect too well with anyone, that my family will hate me.

Thor
Have you ever been on a date?

Ravi
No, not really.

Thor
Well, you tell me who you like, and I'll help you get a date with him.

Ravi
Uh... well, I could date a guy or a girl.

Thor
Oh, hot. You're like a half-lesbian. A les-bi. Is that the right word?

Ravi
I just... can't let myself date anyone while I'm still so angry and fucked up. I don't want to hurt them, and I feel like I'm still so full of fucking... poison, that I'm leaching it out. I hate where I come from.

Thor
Is your family really malicious, or are they just the normal amount of bad?

Ravi
Yeah, absolutely. I'm scared to be anything like them. I'm sure a lot of people are going through the same thing, though.

Thor
When my dad gets angry, he doesn't go out of his way to hurt me, but he'll swat me around and yell at me until I do what he wants. My mom just lets him.

Ravi
Perry would manhandle and beat me, but never so severely that he'd be forced to take blame for it. He used to seem nice, back when I was kind of a jerk myself. But over time, I realized that he was actually making me worse by telling me it was okay to be a bully. I blamed myself for not meeting his standards. He did try to kill me when he was drunk, though. He even tried to say "I love you like you're my own son", after. Like... that's not love. That's fear of consequences.

Thor
Why would he call you 'son'?

Ravi
(Hesitant.) I... used to be a boy.

Thor
Oh wow, you've really changed since then. I'd think him blind for calling you that again today.

Ravi
(Punches his shoulder.) You don't mean that, I've still got hair on my chin.

Thor
(Laughing.) Lots of girls do, especially in Manitoba. And I gotta say, your stories are darker than mine, but still kind of entertaining.

Ravi
My... oh, I was just talking.

Thor
WE were talking. We each told our stories, and we didn't even need to say, "Once upon a time". Isn't that neat?

Ravi
...yeah, it is neat.

Thor
Check it out!

Finally, they arrive at the tree. Surrounding it on all sides, fallen apples, pale yellow and speckled. Morlock grabs one from the tree. Ravi pets him.

Ravi
Is that safe for him?

Thor
Oh, yeah. He'll eat it even if it has worms, sometimes on purpose. Sometimes he bites people.

Ravi stops petting Morlock. Thor points upward, at a solitary apple hanging from a branch. The last one on the tree.

Ravi
That looks so good.

Thor
I'll give you a boost... we can share it.