Throwing open the door to her room, suddenly unsure of how long it had been since the two parted. The touch of night cradled by silence told her it had been a while.

Alice stepped outside into the hall, her foot brushed against something soft and dreamlike. Her senses were greeted by the smell of flowers wet by fresh rain. Her feet brushed against a trail of bioluminescent flowers that grew from the floorboards. Blue poppies that glowed like fireflies. Their light was calming and ethereal. Had Mad left them? She stepped out into the hall, delicately wandered into the field, following their lead. They snaked down the hall, and up the stairs, past Mad’s bedroom, up higher to the loft that was his office. From there, the glowing flowers on the stairs looked like a cascading waterfall, 

She raced up the flight, following where the glowing petals stopped at the intersection of his room and the hall. Her hand instinctively went to grasp the iron handle, she hesitated and put her hands on the wooden door instead. She didn’t know what to say. Tongue tied and nervous, she was left without words. The epiphany energized her body and she rushed to share the discovery with Mad. She wanted him to know she could stay. Standing in front of his door like this, a rush of bashfulness stilled her enthusiasm, making the dramatics feel far too silly, especially if it meant waking him.

But she had to, the urgency stirred in her guts needed to be freed. He needed to know she wanted him, wanted to stay, wanted to stay with him.   

“Mad, if you’re still awake. Even if you’re sad, or there’s something wrong, even if I’m scared or I don’t belong in Wonderland as a mortal.” She paused, trying to hear if there was any movement from beyond the door. She strained but couldn’t hear a thing. Undeterred, she would say her peace and then go to bed. She would tell him again tomorrow. Now they had all the moments of her mortal life to get it right. “Mad, I wanna stay here with you.”

Alice spoke the last sentence with more vigor, and he must have heard, because the door flew open. With the barrier removed by a sudden gust of exhilaration caused her to stumble forward. Mad’s arms gently wrapped around her torso as he steadied her balance. He looked down at her, and she up at him. Their height difference felt enormous at that moment. His eyes were glossed and glazed, and her eyes were wide and reflective.

They didn’t say anything else, but the look they shared between one another was filled with more emotions than words existed in either of their tongues. Once more, that silent language the two had created spoke for them. He pulled her closer, her chest pressed into his frame as their lips intertwined. A long-lost kiss reunited two lovers.  

 ***

Mad watched as Alice drifted into sleep, running his fingers through her hair and across her scalp. Once sure she had fully fallen asleep, he lifted her up and tucked her body into a proper sleeping position. He watched over her momentarily, happy to see his beloved back in his home. A smile crept across his face as she tossed and turned in her sleep, how she quickly abandoned that gentle sleeping position until she was contorted in the most uncomfortable of fashions. He placed a kiss on her cheek and walked away, across the room to his open balcony.

Mad sat on the railing and pulled out a lighter and a cigarette from a small cabinet he had built into the space. He lit it up and felt the smoke pull into his lungs and heat his body from the inside out. He rustled through the cabinet again, quickly locating the additional items. A small, leather-bound box tucked away sat a set of small vials filled with green liquid. He pulled out a second box, filled with injectors. A two-piece set that came together as one.  He looked it over, piecing it together from muscle memory before he finished setting it up and inserted the needle into his arm. It pierced his skin; a sharp and tantalizing pain pinched his flesh, followed by a familiar burn as the liquid passed through his veins. He slowly pulled it out, feeling the unique rush in his head as he became euphoric and serene once more. 

He took another drag from the fiery stick clasped between his lips, filling his lungs and brain with blinding substance, both pulling him into a relaxing state, a numbness and tranquility.

He looked back at Alice, and he was happy, but a lingering sadness washed over him, reminding him once more of what he truly was. She had welcomed his body without an ounce of worry. He recalled the way her fingers trailed his otherworldly flesh, tendrils that aroused from his back. Ruminants that reminded him of the creature that he truly was, that he wasn’t human.

She called them beautiful.

She called him lovely.

Alice had coddled and loved him despite the monster that he physically was. Could she love the one he was internally?

 He took another deep drag of his cigarette, and all those happy glowing flowers that led Alice to his room, began to shrivel and grey until they were no more.

Sleep wouldn’t catch him tonight.

But at least she would rest without worry.