The Next Day... at Brass Knoxton.

The PA system blares another important message.

The Principal
ATTENTION STUDENTS: THE FLOOR HOCKEY CHAMPIONSHIP GAME IS TONIGHT! ALL OF YOUR PARENTS WILL BE THERE, SO PLAY YOUR BEST NO MATTER WHAT! YOU DON'T WANT TO LOOK LIKE FOOLS IN FRONT OF THEM, DO YOU? THERE WILL BE NO TOLERANCE FOR ANY KIND OF SLACKING OFF OR DISTRACTION. IF YOUR PERFORMANCE DIPS, YOU'LL GET THE WHIP! THAT IS ALL.

Ravi eats freshly microwaved curry rice while sitting on the gymnasium floor. Thor and Jessica sit not far away. Ravi looks over, but Thor catches her, and she looks away. On her other side, Yuna, Amira, and... Garland? Amira gets up and leaves, and Garland waves for Ravi to scoot over.

Ravi
What's up?

Garland
Aurion's not here, but Lawke told me you still have to listen to someone's story.

Lawke
Sup.

Yuna
Can I tell this one?

Garland
Go ahead.

Ravi
Are you two dating now?

Yuna
No, no.

Garland
Just friends.

Yuna
This is the story of how we became friends. It all started two weeks ago...

When Garland's dad, Carl, took him fishing. On the waters of Lake Starleaf, a boat sat. A line was cast. Father and son waited. Then, a bite. The fish was reeled in, and soon, another. And another. When the boat returned to its dock, six fish were caught.

Carl took them to his campsite, to cut and skin them. In the first, a blue eye. In the second, a human finger. Then, a toe. Then an ear, and a handful of teeth. In the biggest fish... well, it was an eight-inch fish, and it swallowed something just as long. Garland, in horror, recognized these parts as his own.

Carl called the County Sheriff, and they found the body that lay at the bottom of the lake. As they dragged it to shore, Garland looked at what was once his body, now a desecrated corpse. He cried:

Garland
Put it back, put it back!

But there it lay, bloated.

[Ravi
(Alarmed.) Is this a metaphor or did my brother actually find a dead clone of himself?!]

That's up to the listener. That night, Carl left Garland at his house. Garland didn't want to go back to the animals at home, like Kroeger and Krainer... and especially Perry. Carl left Garland a bag of Arabian Hash, to help him cope. As Garland smoked, he began to forget, then remember! Then, he forgot again. But when Carl's wife came home, she found him on the couch, playing Super Macaronio, surrounded by empty soda cans and potato chip bags. Snacks for the whole family, devoured by one boy. Freya was very much against drugs, like cannabis. When she smelled him, and saw his red eyes, she yelled at him, told him to pack his things and leave. She had seen her step-son's dead body today, and was horrified with his stoned imposter.

Freya
(Cold-hearted.) I don't know who made you, but I want you out of here. Especially not if you're going to throw your second chance away for a cheap high.

Garland
But you drink and smoke all the time.

Freya
(Angrily.) Yeah, but I don't smoke WEED, you DOPE!

Garland tried to argue, but he could only burp. He packed his things, and asked his friends for a place to stay. But nobody had any room for him.

[Ravi
You could have asked me, dude. Alice lets me smoke weed sometimes.

Garland
No, I think things are awkward enough between us, thanks.]

So back he went to the Beckens, who welcomed him with open arms. They fed him steak, cake, ice cream, pie, potato salad, chili with buffalo meat, nachos, and more. They played games together, on tables and on televisions, with cards and motion controllers and dice and dominoes. Everyone smoked cannabis, including Kroeger, who was only twelve years old. Even the dog would sit around, hoping to catch a whiff.

It was everything he needed, and the fun went on for three days. He stayed home from school, sick from his fright, and medicated with fun.

On the third night, he heard the story of Gauravi. He was the son that Polina had lost, after he turned to a life of debauchery and crime with a strange woman who claimed to be his mother. He had even become a transvestite, and most likely, a prostitute.

[Ravi
Okay, ouch. Did they really say those things?

Garland
Shh! Don't interrupt.]

But the truth, as they told it, was that the real Gauravi had just died last year, and the bad apple was his cloned doppleganger, given the same name.

[Ravi
(Rolling her eyes.) Whatever you say, Aunt Polina.]

Gauravi had previously been responsible for almost all of the house's chores, since nobody else ever deigned to do any of it themselves. The house had become a mess over time, thanks to the neglect of Perry, the busy-baking of Polina, the caretaking of Krainer for her weird little sausage baby, and the disgusting irresponsibility of Kroeger. Not to mention, Garland himself had been taking advantage of the mess so he could hide in his room, while others were too busy focusing on finding their belongings inside the piles to bother him. But with Gauravi truly and completely gone, and her clone Ravi never to take his place, Garland began to take on Gauravi's old responsibilities. He started that very night, by washing the dishes. Anything for his loving new family.

But the love didn't last long. Soon, he would lose sleep to Perry and Polina, who fought and yelled for hours. Then, they would make demands. They had him rake the yard, clean the floors, wash the windows, sweep the deck, and so on. But, at least they allowed him to work while under the effects of his hash. That let him put aside the nightmares so he could finish his tasks. Then, he started getting Kroeger's responsibilities, as well. She was too tired, didn't feel like it, had school (so did he), was out with friends, but never available to do the things that had been asked of her.

Garland realized he could no longer play games, because he was too exhausted. Still, the food kept him happy and strong, and the hash kept him at peace.

[Garland
You're so good at telling stories!

Ravi
Yeah, honestly. It's like, zen, and then you get punched. Very effective.]

Thank you. My mom's Tibetan, and my dad studied with monks. A story is kind of like a really long proverb. Anyway!

On Friday, Garland returned to school. He had grown sick of the wasteful appetites, bossy demands, and selfish needs of his old family. Though his step-mom was often upset with him, he could see the value in her ways, and began to miss her. But his dad told him there was no chance of returning.

Carl
If she's not happy having you over, my hands are tied. I mean, I like weed too, but I usually do that at like, my friends' houses or something. I never get to do any at home. I kind of figured you'd like... keep your shit together, honestly.

Garland
You gave me a POUND of HASH! I'm literally fourteen!

Carl
Sorry, bro. That's like... not my problem.

Garland went to look for his sister, Ravi, but she was busy talking to Aurion, the boy with the golden globe. They both seemed to have the world on their shoulders, in their own ways. Garland wandered, and found a new friend. Her name was Yuna.

[Garland
Yoooooo!]

They'd met before, but hadn't spoken. The girl saw this feral-looking boy, wild white hair and sharp teeth, and at first thought of a wolf. But then she saw his big round nose, his forlorn grey eyes, and his hairy chin, and instead she thought of a goat. He'd changed, but there was still a goat inside the wolf's skin. They began to talk, then to play, and they ran around the schoolyard like children. When the bell rang, the fun was over.

That weekend, they talked on the phone for hours. They had much in common, and though they each had duties, they always returned to speak to one another.

Then, Monday came. Garland waited for recess, but when he went to see Yuna, Kroeger stood in his way. He was lonely at school, and had no friends. The other kids were merciless to him about his weight, and his shyness. He wanted to spend time with his cousin, and when Garland refused, he said:

Kroeger
Mom said you HAVE to, or I'll tell on you and you'll be grounded!

Yuna saw the boy with this fat wad of nasty, and worried for him. The wad seemed very attached to him, unwilling to let go, and possessive. He was jealous of anyone who even looked at Garland, and when they came near, he'd become furious, and scare them away. Garland found Yuna later, and explained that Kroeger was only family, and she thought:

Yuna
Well, family comes first, I suppose.

The next day came, and again, Kroeger kept Garland all to herself. They both smelled like cannabis, a funky sweet aroma that told a tale of familial enmeshment. It became hard to tell where one ended, and one began.

[Ravi
So it's a story about like... toxically codependent weed buddies? That makes sense, weed does stimulate your seratonin - it's supposed to be one of the bonding hormones.

Lawke
Or what happens when family is too accepting, and maybe it's better to be with someone who has expectations of you.]

Yuna was silent when rumors began to circulate that Garland was dating his own sister, and that they'd done romantic things together.

[Lawke
Care to comment on that one, Ravi?

Ravi
(Red-faced, uncomfortable.) No.]

Then it was said that he was screwing with his gross little cousin, too... if the first could be true, why not the second? But it was hard to deny, when Kroeger seemed so charmed to be in his presence, and Garland was forced to play along, or else face punishment at home.

Finally, Garland had enough. He broke away from his grasp, and told him:

Garland
You wanted my time at home, I said okay. You wanted my time to do your work, I said okay. Now you want my time at school, too? That's NOT okay! Now you don't get to have ANY of my time, because it's more than you DESERVE!

Hearing this, Kroeger grew red in the face. He began to cry loudly, and yell and hit and scream, reeking of cannabis. It seemed like Garland had cut a vital cord from himself to the fat nasty wad; invisible to us but to Kroeger it lay bleeding and thrashing like a wild hose on the ground. He tripped on the sidewalk as she ran away, and bellowed:

Kroeger
(Anguished.) YOOOUUU PUUUUUSHED MEEEEE!!

It was a horrible sight. Garland tried to help him up, but he kicked Garland's legs. Miss Parfait hustled over, and took Garland and Kroeger inside. Garland was given detention, and Kroeger was given attention. But they both smelled like hash, so Perry and Polina were called. Luckily, Garland was able to convince the Principal not to call his step-mother, for she would have been devastated if she had any care left for him at all.

At home, Perry and Polina never punished the siblings for their use of drugs at school. If anything, they were enabling its use, wanting nothing more than to return to a state of sedated enmeshment. But they did punish Garland for "pushing" his sister. No dinner that night, and no fun or games for a month.

[Ravi
Yeah, that sounds about right. It was either 'everyone join together in one big ameoba' for movie night, or nobody gets to have any fun at all. Half the reason I'm not going back is that even if you try to stick your toe in the water with them, they just pull on your ankle and drag you in.

Garland
And if your head cracks on the bank on the way in, what the fuck do they care? As long as there's something to play with.

Lawke
I can't relate. My family is across the world right now – I've only lived with my mom and dad all my life. They're strict and kinda smothering, but I'd rather have that than nothing.]

Garland, on the other hand, would rather have anything else. He grabbed a cordless landline phone, called Yuna, and explained his situation in tears. He was afraid to scare away his new friend, afraid that she would reject him because he had so many problems. Instead, she understood, and listened. Still, she was uncertain of what to think of him, as he'd been screwing up his own life pretty bad without Kroeger's help. Had he hurt his family? Was he wrong to sever a cord that seemed so cherishable a bond? In the end, Garland decided that he was right, and he needed to return to his real home, if his step-mother would have him. That was when Kroeger, who'd been listening on another phone, cried to his mother:

Kroeger
(Screeching.) MOOOM, HE'S USING THE PHONE EVEN THOUGH HE'S GROOOUUUNDED!!

Garland was denied a chance to call his mother. But it was okay, because he knew she wouldn't accept him while he was still on hash. Maybe when he was older, and living under his own roof. His mom had rules, and that was okay. Breaking them wasn't worth suffering this torment.

The next day, he went to school hung over, but sober. He asked Carl to speak to their mother for him, to tell her that HE was the real Garland, not the boy from the lake, and that he was done escaping from life and ready to come home.

When he got back to the home of Perry and Polina, he did all of his chores without being asked first. He did his homework. He even volunteered to pick up after the dog, who'd had a bad night from eating floor pizza. Though Perry and Polina asked more of him, in an effort to re-establish their power over his life, he complied, until they were robbed of complaint. He even left them the rest of the hash, as thanks for their hospitality.

Then he packed his belongings, and waited to see his mom's car. The sky grew dark, and it seemed like she'd never show. Then, just as Garland had given up hope, she was there. He put his bags in her trunk, gave her a hug and an apology, and went home.

She didn't understand why her step-son had changed, or who the boy in the lake was. But she could see that Garland was the same good young man on the inside that he'd always been, if not a little more grown up. That was all that mattered.

Now, we've returned to the present moment. Garland and Yuna are friends, Kroeger has a new attachment, no relation...

[Kroeger
Your arms are so big.

Lawke
Really? Everyone says I'm really skinny.

Kroeger
No way, they're obviously, like, full of shit.]

...and everything was okay again. And that...

Yuna
...was the story of The Stoned Prince! Pretty good, right?

Garland
I think so. I really appreciate you listening to me about what I was going through, even though it was super weird and scary.

Yuna
Aw, that's what friends are for. Sometimes we all need help making sense of things that happen to us.

Ravi
You were in the story, but you barely talked about yourself at all. That's the second story I've heard about Garland now, and I barely know anything about you.

Yuna
Well, give me some time, and I'll find something to share. The best storytellers know how to disappear.

Ravi
(Grinning.) Yeah, I guess so.

Lawke
So about you and your sister-

Garland
(Passive aggressive.) Shut the fuck up, dude.

Ravi
Yeah, no comment.