POV: Darleen

I haven't heard from Skylar in a few days. After Thanksgiving, we sort of stopped keeping in touch daily and changed to just checking in weekly. I wanted to distance myself from her. But, she hasn't even called to check in this week, and as I moved into the Vacation home I noticed it was quiet.

Too quiet.

"Skylar?" I called.

I walked to her room and found it mostly empty.

She left some stuff behind but not much.

I guess she's not here.

I was about to call her when I heard the front door open and loud grunting.

I peek around the corner to see Skylar carrying two large cat crates with very grumpy and chubby cats inside. One let out a loud howl of a meow.

"Alright, alright, we're here." Skylar sighed and set the crates down.

"There you are," I walk over to her.

"Ah!" she yelped and jumped in place.

I giggled.

"You scared me, I didn't see your car outside." She says.

"I parked on the curb."

"Oh, that's your car? You got a new car?"

"Yeah, just drove in. My back hurts," I complain.

"So is that a no on helping me unload all my stuff?"

The cat meows again.

"I'll help," I giggle.

We go out to her car and I see she has a lot of her stuff.

"I thought you had already moved in," I say as I help unload.

"I did..."

"What happened? I haven't heard from you in a while. How's your goal coming along?"

"Oh... yeah kind of stopped doing that. Too much going on."

"Skylar," I frown as we set the bags in her room.

"A lot has happened."

"Lay it on me," I say as we go outside to get more bags.

"Well, Vida and I were together for a bit. I was kind of not so officially living with her for a while. Then... Jade needed me, so I moved back in with her. Vida got mad at me; said I was using her as a place filler. She's not talking to me right now. Then Jade asked me to marry her."

"What!?" I trip over myself and drop the bags.

"Darleen, be careful," Skylar helps me up.

"Jade asked you to marry her!?"

"I said no, obviously. But then she said she was leaving. She moved to Canada for a job. Gave me the deed to our house. After she left yesterday... I just can't stay there right now. Too depressing. Vida was right, I still have deep and strong feelings for Jade. I just... need some time to process everything." She says sadly.

"Wow, a lot did happen," I say.

"Anyway, Vida dropped the rest of my stuff off at the house when I wasn't there, I had to take the countess to get her shots this morning. Seeing my bags already packed, I thought I might as well come back here and just take a break from it all." We set more bags in the room.

"That's what I'm here for," I assure her.

"Thanks, Darleen," she smiles at me.

I feel my heart skip a beat.

Maybe now is my chance. No Jade, no Vida, just me and Skylar. I'll give her a few days to calm down from everything, and then... and then what? I can't just drop that bomb on her. Ugh! What do I do? What do I say? How do I make her see me?

"Can you grab the cat's stuff off the car? I'm going to put them in the bathroom to calm down." She picks up the crates again.

"Sure thing," I smile.

Well, I still have a few days to figure it out. No need to panic just yet. I don't want to come on too strong and scare her away. I just want to present her with a possible option that she can take if she wants. I want her to pick, I don't want to force myself on her like I did the first time we were together. That didn't exactly work out in my favor.

I heave the heavy bags of cat food and cat litter off the car before going back to grab all the rest of the cat accessories. Then after I finish unloading Skylar's car I grab the rest of my stuff from my own car.

"There," I dust my hands off and shut the front door.

"Darleen can you bring me their water bowl!" Skylar calls from her room.

"Coming!" I dig through the stuff and find their bowls.

Then I walk over to her room and to her bathroom to find her sitting on the floor with the very fluffed-up and stressed-out kitties. They cling to her side, too afraid to look around.

"They are super stressed out; they hate traveling and car rides. Plus, a trip to the vet this morning means they don't really trust me right now." Skylar chuckles as she gently pets the Countess to calm her down.

I set the bowls down and grab the cup off the counter and fill it with water before pouring them some fresh water. Cloud quickly goes over to drink some but the Countess doesn't budge.

I sit across from Skylar.

"Jade and I were supposed to take care of these cats together, but I look after them a lot more than she does. So I'm kind of their favorite owner. They are my cats I guess you could say. Jade can hardly take care of herself right now, so I got stuck with them. I don't mind though; they keep me company and comfort me in a way." Skylar says as she scratches the Countess's chin, and the cat starts to purr.

"I've never had a pet before," I say.

"Never ever?" Skylar looks at me.

"Does a goldfish I won at a fair once count? I never took care of it, our maid did. The thing died a week later." I shrug.

"No, I don't think that counts," Skylar frowns.

"My parents were hardly ever home and didn't trust me enough with an animal. So, no pets."

"That's sad, I've always grown up with pets. I had a hamster when I was really young.  My dad helped me take care of it. Then we had a hedgehog. But it was sick when we got it and it didn't last more than a year. Got Dukin just before we moved states. Then I got these cuties here. I was thinking about getting another dog once I graduate. I don't really have time for a dog now, but I want one to go running with. I miss Dukin sometimes."

"You should just get one then." I encourage.

"No way, with work, school, and track, the poor thing would be locked up almost all day."

"Well, you have that big house all to yourself now. Just put a doggy door on and let it roam the backyard while you are gone."

"I don't know," she sighs as the Countess finally gets up to go drink some water.

Maybe that's what I'll get her for her birthday since she refused to let me get her a birthday gift. Her birthday is in like two days.

"What kind of dog would you get?" I ask.

"Something big, that likes to run. Not too big though, it has to get along with the cats. I want something energetic, like me." she smiles thinking about it.

"I've never been a dog person, I prefer cats." I pet Cloud as he rubs against my leg.

Skylar giggles as he climbs on my lap and lays down.

I smile.

"I think cats prefer you too." She teases.

We both giggle.

"Real talk for a moment, you doing okay?" I ask Skylar.

"As okay as I can be. I guess I just realized I wasn't as over Jade as much as I thought I was. Kind of had a breakdown when she told me she was leaving. I just... wish it would stop hurting so much." She pulls her knees to her chest.

"Just give it time. I told you not to go rushing into anything."

"I couldn't help it... I get lonely sometimes." She stares at the ground.

"Me too."

Her eyes look up at me.

"All my life I've been closely acquainted with loneliness. I guess it's why I cling so hard to people I love. I have a hard time letting go because I fear ending up back in that lonely space. It's why I fuck up so much because I let my fear of being alone, of being left out, of being left behind, get the best of me." I admit.

"Is that why you cheated on Aphrodite?" she asks me.

I feel my chest tighten at the sound of her name.

All I can do is nod.

"And why you cheated on me?" she pushes.

"Yeah... sorry." I look down at Cloud on my lap.

"It explains so much. When I look at it that way, you start to make a lot more sense to me," she says.

"What do you mean?"

"Sometimes I like to wonder about you, try and figure out how your Darleen mind works. Keeps me occupied and away from my own problems." She smirks.

"My Darleen mind isn't as complex as you think."

We both giggle.

"What about you? Why'd you cheat on Jade? Figure it out yet?" I ask.

"I thought it was because I was tired of her blowing me off all the time. Like all this frustration towards her built up inside me. But that's not it. I think... I think I just wanted someone to see me, to hold and touch me, to acknowledge my needs in a way that Jade wasn't doing. Sometimes I feel like I'm invisible and no one in the world can see me or even knows who I am." Skylar says seriously.

That makes my heart hurt for her. I see you, I want to tell her. I hear you. I've always known you existed. I want to hold you, and give you all that you need, show you that you are not invisible. I know you. If only you would see me.

"That's not true, even if you don't see them. I guarantee there is always someone out there who knows you, who is thinking about you, who sees you. You are not invisible." I assure her.

"Thanks, Darleen," she smiles at me.

If only she knew how deeply I fall for her when she looks at me like that. How I would give up every single cent I own just to be with her, just to hold her and comfort her one more time. Just one. One more time would be enough for me to survive a little longer.

My mind is screaming no, you can't be in love with her still, not again. But my heart is crying for her, reaching for her, wanting no one but her. I think... I think it always has.

"What about you? How's your goal coming along? Did you talk to that girl? Tell her how you feel?" she asks.

"No... the timing still isn't right. And I'm starting to wonder if it will ever be. Sometimes I think no matter what I do, she can't see me in that way."

"Don't say that, she'd have to be a complete and utter idiot not to see what an amazing girl you are. You shouldn't give up just yet." She says.

"I know, but... it's hard sometimes. Being close to her, but not in the way I want. Sometimes you have to step back for a bit, for your own personal wellbeing."

She hums and nods in agreement.

"But enough about all this sad stuff, let's get you back on track for your goal, what's next on your list of Skylar adventures?"

She pulls out her phone to check.

"Pepper eating contest." She declares.

"What!?" I laugh.

"Okay, don't laugh. I saw this YouTube video of people eating peppers competitively and I thought, I could do that. I mean how hard could it be? A little spicy food never scared me away. But I have to practice first. Want to try it out with me?"

"You are something else," I shake my head.

She giggles.

"Fine, I'll do it with you." I roll my eyes.

"Okay, let me get dressed and we can go to the mart to buy some spicy peppers." She stands up.

After we wash up and get dressed we go get something to eat before heading to the farmers market and buying a bunch of different spicy peppers. Then we head back to the house.

"Okay," She spreads the peppers out in a line. "I think this is how it goes."

"You think?" I eye the various types of peppers.

"Hey, I'm new. I'm pretty sure this is the spiciest and this is the least spicy."

"Well, bottoms up I guess." I grab the least spicy one.

She grabs the one next to it.

We lock eyes before chowing down.

I wince at the spiciness of it. It takes a second for my teeth to break down the rubbery skin of the pepper. My whole face gets warm. Skylar isn't much better, she starts breathing out of her mouth. After we eat one, we move to the next.

I take one bite and start coughing because of how spicy it is. The seeds get stuck in my gums.

"Hot," I fan my mouth.

"This is awful," Skylar chokes out as she chews.

"Em hmm," I nod.

We eye the last two before diving for the lesser of the spicy options. I grab it before her. I watch her make a face of pain and disappointment before grabbing the last pepper. We lock eyes before chewing.

"Emm!" She screams with my mouth closed, tears forming in her eyes.

I slam my fist down on the table, breathing heavily as I try to force it down.

We share a look and then dive for the trash can. We both spit it out before grabbing the milk from the fridge and chugging it straight out of the carton.

"I hate you," I say before chugging more milk.

"My turn," She snatches the milk away and chugs.

I steal the milk back.

She runs to the sink and turns on the water before sticking her mouth under the cold stream.

"This was the worst idea you've had yet," I complain.

Skylar gargles the water.

I swish the milk around in my mouth, finally feeling it start to cool down. I have to breathe out of my mouth because my nose is really runny.

"I hate you so much right now." I grip the counter so hard my knuckles turn white.

"I hate myself right now," she finally turns the water off and starts wiping her tongue with a paper towel.

We look at each other before busting out in laughter. We look ridiculous all red in the face and sweating from spicy peppers.

"Okay, so spicy peppers are a no-go," Skylar pulls her phone out and crosses it off the list.

"You think?" I laugh.

"It seemed like it would be easy," she pouts.

I shake my head at her.

"Well, tomorrow's activity should be way better."

"What are we doing tomorrow?" I ask.

"Ever been mudding before?"

"No."

"Me either, it should be fun." She shrugs.

This is going to be one interesting winter break.