The gentle warmth of daylight illuminated the dark behind Alice’s eyes, tugging awake her sore body. Reluctant to wake, her groggy laden eyes drifted across a room she didn’t immediately recognize. Shelves littered with half-finished craft projects, sewing machines, odds and ends, bobbins and bits. Tools she didn’t know how to use. As the sleep faded from her mind, the memories of last night began to replace her drowsiness.

This was Mad’s room, his work room. She was back in Wonderland. She sat up in the bed, every movement and pull from her body screamed profanities at her. Feelings of déjà vu had her shaking her head with a scoff. Despite the aches and pains, Alice was well rested. Her mind was clear as her dreamless sleep reinvigorated her mind—a side effect she was thankful for. Alice had lost the ability to dream, ever since she had left Wonderland all those years back. It was like her dreams were left behind while she was forced to move forward. She had always hypothesized, wondered, if it had all been real, would she be able to dream again if she could go back? One night in, and so far, her hypothesis was null.

Sitting up, naked, Alice’s memories filled up with the activities Mad had indulged her with. Flushing, her cheeks heated. She hadn’t been that sexually pleased in such a long time—ever really. What Mad had done to her, Alice paused even in her own thoughts, recounting every sensation; it truly was such a transcendental experience. Completely unique and heavenly. She flopped back down onto the bed and kicked her feet. She felt incredible, weightless, gifted with a sense of freedom she had given up believing in. If life in Wonderland could feel like this, she’d never regret it.

A smile spread from ear to ear, her face remained blushed. Her hand traveled across her chest, landing between her swollen breasts. Her heart pattered rhythmically underneath it all. The love between them never faded. Never waned after all these years apart. Their love wasn’t stuck and gone like her dreams.

She slowly sat back up and scanned the room for her clothing. Mad wasn’t here. Without knowing how long she’d been asleep for, she guessed he must have already woken up and gone about his day. Mad, her thoughts were swimming with him. His love, his voice, the smell of citrus and pine. The way his lips curled into that crooked smile. The glow of his vibrant hair, the tone of his frame beneath her fingertips. Over and over, she pictured him in her mind, the beauty of their love. In her state of happiness, her rationality tried to ground her, bring her down from her non-existing dreams. Sure, there were things she was concerned about. Questions that needed answers. But for now, she wanted to be happy. She could worry about that later. 

Her heart compromised with logic, promising she would make time for it. In a world where time didn’t matter to anyone besides herself, she was determined to make it work. But now she needed this moment, just a little while longer to feel the happiness she had long lost. She wanted to dream, pretend everything was perfect, just for a moment longer. She promised she would get to the bottom of things eventually.

Alice quickly scuttled back to her room to freshen up for the day. She had called out to Mad but the only sound that returned was that of something sizzling in the kitchen. Alice hurriedly dressed, and returned with delight, floating towards the aroma of grilled food and the anticipation of romantic bliss.

“Mad!?” Alice’s voice sang with excitement. Turning the corner, she expected to be re-united with her lover, but instead, found CC to be the one her singsong struck a tune with. Standing lazily with one hand on their hip, the other busied with the slightly charred, something-or-another in the cast iron skillet.

“He’s outside at the beehive.” The cat said without disrupting the direct line of concentration between the dish and themself.

“Beehive?” Alice asked, fidgeting in place. Memories from last night reminded her of the non-stop bickering between the two, despite their reunion. “Oh… uh… good morning.” Awkward silence choked the air more than the smoke emanating from the stove.

“I’m sorry about last night,” both said in unison before bursting out into laughter.

“Call it even then?” CC laughed, briefly glancing towards Alice who lingered in the doorway.

Alice crossed her arms, and continued to fidget, playing with the hem of her skirt. “I guess so, plus, you have no reason to be mad at me anymore. I’ve decided to stay."

“I know, Mad told me this morning. He’s really happy…I’m really happy. Truely.” A smile lifted at the edges of the feline's mouth; sharp fangs peeked through. The sound of the sizzling food filled the break in conversation. It was less uncomfortable, yet something heavy lingered between the two. “What caused the sudden change of heart? Mad fucked yah that good?” CC asked, smiling wickedly.

Alice flushed, “No, I mean—yes we did, but that’s not why.” Alice responded flustered; her inflection broken. She paused; her brain whizzed with her late-night revelation but didn’t know how much to reveal. “I remembered something last night, something I did in the mortal world. I can’t go back because of it.” Despite their arguing from the previous night, Alice knew CC was a good friend, of all things, this is something she knew CC could be trusted with.

 “Bad?” CC interjected sarcastically, “You’re such a goody-two-shoes, how bad could it be? Unless—” CC trailed off catching Alice’s sight, “Did you finally rip the wrong person off? You’ve always had that sticky finger habit,” CC admonished with the flick of their spatula. Turning back, CC shook their head while pushing around the food on a skillet overly saturated with heat. “I always told you you’d steal from the wrong person one of these days.”

Alice laughed, “No, it’s not that.” She paused, “My dad, I think I killed him.” Clear, concise, she said it with an unwavering voice.

There was only a blink of silence, “Ah,” CC muttered, their concentration unshaken from their sizzling pan. “I’m sure he deserved it if you did.”

Alice smiled, a contrast to her wriggling guts. In truth, she was uncertain. The memory was fragmented and pieced together. There were still black moments, unrecognizable in a void in her mind. She wasn’t sure exactly what had transpired, or what she had done. She remembered the drop of the knife, the iron smell of blood, the sound of her grandmother's wailing and then the sound of her tires peeling out of the gravel driveway as she sped off. “Well, I think I did anyway.” Alice said while casually pulling herself onto the countertop to sit and observe. “I don’t actually remember too much of it, but I got some flashes of it last night when I finally had the chance to relax.”

“You okay?”

“Yeah.”

“You know you can talk to me.”

“Yeah, I know. I think I’m okay.”

The ease and impassiveness in which CC expressed their concern, the big sister charm they had constructed all those years back, came back seamlessly. Alice’s heart fluttered with warmth.

CC finally faced Alice, “Good, cause you remember what I do right? You remember that I’m in the business of taking people out. So, if you need to, you can talk to me.” CC’s face held a sternness, but their words were teetering with an intonation of playfulness, releasing the pressure off the seriousness of their conversation.

How very older sister like. Alice couldn’t help but relish those butterflies swarming within her belly. Absorbing all the bile of uncertainty that filled her moments ago.

“Yeah, I remember.” Alice said nonchalantly.

“So, come and talk to me about it, whenever you need. But…don’t tell Mad…yea?”

“Okay.” The sound of the sizzling meal occupied their senses. “Why can’t I talk to Mad about it?” Alice asked after battling an internal monologue.

Ask, don’t ask. Ask, it’s not important.

Ask won out.

“Look,” CC took a step towards Alice, the sound of their cat-like feet click-clacked against the tile of the kitchen, claws tapping against the cold granite floor. CC’s eyes were unmoved, steady with their contact over the younger woman’s. Golden eyes laced with concern interwoven between anxious emotions. CC reached forward and touched her friend's knee with a gentle solace, “I know it’s killing you; you have this seed of curiosity in you and you got’ta know what’s going on with Mad, but that’s not mine, or March’s place to tell you. Just know, there are some things he’s sensitive about. THAT would be one of them. If he wants to tell you, that’s up to him.”

Alice understood, but the answer burrowed with frustration down to her bones. “Your food’s burning.” Alice uttered matter-of-factly; the disheartened feeling demanded space. Of course she wanted to know what was going on with Mad, but if she couldn’t get the answer out of her friends, she would have to get it out of Mad.

“Ah fuck!” CC cursed more to themselves than Alice. They flew over to the stove and removed the pan from the heat. There was a distinct smell of over charred food and a plume of smoke that accompanied it. “Well, it’s done if you wanna get Mad.” CC said with a slight grimace scooping at the food. “Just go out back and you’ll find him.”

Alice jumped from her seat on the countertop. “Okay, and thank you CC, maybe we can talk a bit more about that thing.” Alice said coyly before leaving the room.

CC smiled, “Of course,” they fell silent as they watched their friend leave. The friend they had raised, a little sister. A young girl who would bawl when stepping on a bug. The young woman who paid respect to every animal they used for food. The little mortal girl who grew up always caring about others. A murderer? What a surprising turn of events. The mortal world really was much harsher on her. CC couldn’t help finding it amusing and smiled at the thought.

“Good for you kid.” CC muttered to themselves. They were proud. Wonderland wouldn’t be so bad for her after all, it couldn’t be much worse right?

***

Alice found herself wandering to the back of the house in a direction she couldn’t decern. She couldn’t find Mad right away, so she continued to walk deeper into the surrounding forest. She called out to him until his voice returned, he was near but out of sight. She clamored over a fallen tree and under some bushes before she came upon him. Light filtered through the thick, over branching canopy, cascading over his frame as a delicate touch that looked far too angelic to have been happenstance. He sat cross legged, peaceful and calm, surrounded by a field of cloves and small petite flowers. A large gardener hat adorned his head like a halo, reflecting the ethereal light from his eyes. Resting beneath a large looming tree, its branches stretched up and outward, hugging the entirety of the space with its cool shadow. Clinging to its trunk, a giant hive with swarms of buzzing bees engulfed and intertwined the tree. Woven in and out of its barked surface and limbs, the hive was its own metropolis amongst nature.

Alice whimpered, her fear of bugs, insects, and all things creepy crawly affected her skin, making it squirm in anticipation of their actions. She was suddenly on edge as her face contorted, fear crawled over her features.

“Come here, they won’t sting,” Mad reached out joyfully to his beautifully frightened lover. She froze in place and shook her head, words trapped by fear, unable to come out. He giggled beautifully; his voice was its own symphonic singsong. “It’s fine, I promise. I worked out a deal with them so we’re at peace.” He said, patting playfully at the spot in the field next to him.  “I plant them the flowers they desire, one’s they can’t get deep in this cavern. I keep it fresh and in season, in turn, they let me take some of their honey. It’s quite diplomatic.”

“They won’t sting.” Alice said matter-of-factly instead of a question. Reassuring herself rather than verifying the validity of his claim.

“They won’t sting.” Mad turned and ruffled through a bag he had at his side, “Take this and offer it to them.” He said with a bewitching tone that invoked a sense of calm all the way to Alice’s bones. He held up a spray of flowers of various shapes and sizes. She gingerly took the large bouquet, they weren’t clipped, their roots poised and ready to be replanted, and held it up to the hive.

A swarm rushed at her, landing on each small set of flowers, feeding off its unique pollen. Alice staired, stiff and frozen, she dared not to make a move in fear of retribution. Mad laughed, “Your face,” he said between each wheeze. “You don’t have to be scared. They say thank you.” He was so pretty when he laughed, Alice couldn’t help but admire his toothy grin. It made her heart skip, even if he was laughing at her.

She smiled back, “You can talk to them,” Alice looked at him in wonder. “I forgot you told me you can do that,” her eyes grew distant before a smile pulled at her lips. “That was so long ago.”

Mad only nodded.

“This hive has become my friend. After you left, they found home in this tree. We didn’t get along at first, but I worked out a bargain with them. And after several generations of queens, we still get along.” Mad replied. Alice clung to every one of his words. Enchanted by the bliss of new love, everything he uttered touched her with a magical grace.

A new, smaller swarm exited from the hive, pulling Alice out of her ebullience. The swarm approached them in a procession of smaller bees, carrying what looked to be a carriage made from flowers and leaves, held together by woven grass.

“This is The Queen; she’d like to meet you. I was telling them all about you.”

The procession stopped right in front of them, hovering heavily in the air, bobbing up and down like it was a struggle to keep afloat. The swarm was small, maybe five or six small, little bees. Two of them held up the tiny carriage that resembled a throne. Atop that throne sat a bee that was much larger than those who made up her entourage. She sat lounged back, laissez faire to the struggles of her little workers as they put all that they had into keeping her secure up in the air. Their small little wings beat heavily, buzzing with rapid dexterity within the sky. The Queen’s attitude and demeanor was much less threatening than Alice had imagined, yet, despite her posture, this was still a member of royalty.

Alice’s features flushed and her body stiffened, “Why me? What were you telling them?” Alice swallowed deep, worried she may accidentally do something to cause offence.

Mad reached out and grabbed her hand, hers were small and dainty compared to his. He pulled and directed her more into his lap, guiding her in royal etiquette, puppeting her body with his. “Here, put your hand out, lower your head, and repeat after me, ‘Greetings your majesty, I appreciate your wanting to meet with me.’”

Alice nervously repeated word after word.