Kit’s POV

I cursed to myself as I pushed my skateboard to go faster down the crowded sidewalks. The cheap ass, second-hand phone that I had bought had died not even halfway through my shift today and of course no one at work had a charger I could borrow. My heart pounded in my chest as I thought about the look that would no doubt be on Roland’s face right now; the sad smile, the dead eyes, his head tucked away so no one could see him tearing up. I groaned at the fact that I had done that to him. 

I had a plan before I walked out the door today for my shift. I needed the money so when my manager asked if I could cover a call out I jumped for the opportunity and didn’t even realize my phone hadn’t charged last night. I had planned to call him on my hour lunch break so I was working an open-to-close and that would be the only time I would have but when I sat down with my food the second my break started my phone died. I had panicked. 

I tried everything I could. No one had a charger, I wasn’t allowed to use work phones for non-work-related calls, no one would let me borrow their phones; even just long enough to text Cody or Anthony so I could use theirs since Nathan was working, and by the time I managed to go out and get a charger of my own it was already time to head back in for the rest of the shift. 

Now it was 9 pm and thankfully I was first cut and had finished my side work early to try and get home as fast as possible so I sped through the sidewalks without a care in the world, my only thought being of Roland and how I had missed our first Call Day. 

He would never forgive me for this. He had been so scared that I wouldn’t care about him when I left and now he just had more reason to believe that. 

My heart pounded in my chest as I pushed myself to go faster when I saw the apartment come into view. 

I had slammed the door open the second my hand connected with the handle, making Cody jump about two feet in the air and put a hand over his heart as he glared at me. 

“Dude, you scared the shit out of me. What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“I need to use your phone,” I said as I stalked closer to him. “Mine died and no one at work had a charger and I couldn’t use the phones at work so I need to use yours to call Roland so he won’t think I forgot about him and hate me for the rest of his life.” Cody didn’t bother to offer empty words of encouragement as he handed his phone over. 

I dialed the number I had forced myself to memorize and held the phone to my ear. It rang and rang but no one picked up. I cursed as I dialed Mary’s number instead of the office. She picked up on the first ring and I sighed in relief. 

“Hello,” she asked, her voice full of confusion. “Who is this and why are you calling so late?”

“Please tell me you’re still at camp,” I asked as I sat down on the couch, trying to keep my legs from giving out from under me. Anthony frowned as he rubbed a hand over my back, the same way he used to ground me when I would spiral back at rehab. 

“I am, who is this?”

“It’s Kit. Listen, I picked up a double today at work, my phone died and I couldn’t call Roland. Can I please talk to him?” I couldn’t see her but I could picture the pursed-lipped frown she was giving me through the phone. 

“Call Day ended three hours ago,” she said with a sigh. “I can’t just break the rules for you. If other kids found out he was getting even more special treatment they would hate him more. Besides, it’s late and he has a car to fix in the morning; he’s probably already asleep.”

“I have never asked you for anything,” I sighed and leaned forward. My elbows were on my knees and I hid my face behind the hand that wasn’t holding the phone. “But please can you do this one thing for me? And if not for me then for Roland? I swear this will be the only time I ask you to do this, I won’t even work the next day we plan to call but I just need to talk to him. Just long enough to explain what happened. Please?”She sighed and there was a rustle of papers as she stood up. 

“Just this once you hear me? You’re lucky I’m still here or you wouldn’t be able to speak to him until tomorrow when I came in,” she said with a sigh. 

“Thank you so much. I swear this will never happen again.” She was quiet for a second before she sighed again. 

“He might not want to speak with you. He was pretty upset after dinner. He was really looking forward to you calling today. I don’t think he’s adjusting as well as we hoped he would.” 

“What do you mean not adjusting well,” I asked with a frown as I leaned back on the couch. Anthony shot me a worried glance but his movement on my back didn’t stop. “We knew he wasn’t going to thrive without me but it’s only been a week. We had predicted two months before it became concerning.”

“He’s barely left the cabin for anything other than food and his sessions. We’re hoping this new car tomorrow will help but Andrew isn’t convinced. He barely speaks. He’s reverting back to the way he was before you came along.” My heart broke at that. We had talked about this. He was supposed to be trying to make friends and enjoy things. 

“It’s only been a week,” I said, hoping the confidence in my voice wasn’t misplaced. “Maybe things will get better when he gets a new routine in place.”

“I’m not so sure about that,” she said as she knocked on the cabin door. The phone muffled the sound as she called out for Roland. “Roland, it’s Mary. If you feel up to it, I have Kit on the phone,” she called out. It was late but I knew he wasn’t asleep yet so I was a bit surprised when the door didn’t open the second the words left her mouth. “Are you still awake? I can tell him to call back later if you aren’t feeling up to it.” 

It was silent for a second before I heard muffled shuffling through the other side of the phone. 

“He called,” I could barely make out Roland’s voice ask. 

“He did. You don’t have to talk with him if you don’t want but he wanted you to know he didn’t forget.” I waited for his answer, my heart pounding in my chest as I prayed he wouldn’t send us away.

“I think I want to talk to him.”

“Alright,” Mary said and I could tell she was smiling. “I’ll be back later to get my phone, take all the time that you need.”

The phone passed hands and I could hear the door being softly shut behind him as Roland retreated into the cabin. 

“Hello.” That one word broke me. His voice was rough and scratchy and I could tell by the way he whispered them that he had been crying. 

I fucked up.

“Hey, sweetheart. How are you?”

“You didn’t call.”

“I know,” I sighed as I ran a hand through my hair. I pictured those brown eyes staring at me, bloodshot and full of distrust. He would be glaring and would stand just out of arms reach in case I went to grab him and force him to deal with touching. “I was going to. I had everything planned. I picked up an extra shift today to help out with expenses and I was going to call you at lunch but the phone I bought is stupid and doesn’t like to charge so it died on my lunch break and no one would let me use their phone and I couldn’t just leave work so I rushed home and now I’m using Cody’s. I swear I was going to call and I didn’t forget, things just didn’t go as planned today but I swear that next week I’ll ask off work on Saturday and I’ll make sure this never happens again.”

He was quiet for a minute, probably trying to figure out if I was lying based on nothing but my voice. 

“You don’t have to do that. Ask off I mean. It’s okay if you can’t call. Money is more important.”

“Nothing is more important than you,” I said, praying he believed me. Anthony cooed beside me while Cody gagged with an eye roll. “This will never happen again. I love you, Roland. I love you and I never meant to make you cry over me.”

“How did you know I was crying,” he asked and I could tell he was glaring, a small pout on his lips. 

“Your voice is scratchy and you’re whispering. You only ever whisper after you get done crying.” 

“That’s not true. I whisper all the time.”

“You really don’t,” I teased and relaxed a bit when I heard him lay down in his bed. “How has your week been?”

“Fine.”

“Was it really fine or are you just saying that because you don’t want to tell me that you’ve barely left your cabin this week?” He huffed and I knew that glare just got worse.

“I left the cabin.”

“Oh? Then what did you do this week?” He was quiet for a second, probably wondering if it would be okay to lie but he must have thought better of it because he sighed. 

“I didn’t leave the cabin.”

“And why not?”

“There’s nothing to do here. It’s boring. I would rather be inside doing nothing than out there watching other people.”

“Well, you could join those other people.”

“No.” Well, alright then.

“We talked about this,” I said, trying to keep the concern out of my voice. “You’re supposed to be making friends and enjoying camp. The more you enjoy it the fast time will fly.”

“Time moves the same regardless of what you’re doing.”

“Well, technically but you don’t notice it as much if you’re having fun."

“How has your week been?”

“Other than the cluster fuck that has been today, it’s been amazing. We got everything moved in and set up in the apartment, I’ve been using the skateboard you helped Mary with every day, I’ve worn the shirt you got me several times already, the job Andrew got me is nice and pays pretty well, and we’ve started slowly stockpiling things for the kitchen so we can start cooking soon.”

“Do you need money? I can send you some to help you get started and to get a phone that’s actually worth a damn.”

“I don’t need your money. You should be saving it so you can have it after you leave camp."

“I’ll have plenty of time to make up more. Especially now that it’s summer and I don’t have to go to class. I can get more cars done now.”

“We don’t need your money, Roland. We’re doing fine. Besides, there are four of us, everything is pretty cheap when it’s split up four ways.” He huffed again but didn’t push the subject anymore. 

We talked for what felt like hours. Mostly about what I had been doing and seeing how my friends were doing and if I liked the apartment. He would chime in now and then, adding a snide comment or a helpful suggestion before going quiet again. It felt nice to be able to talk to him again but after a while his responses came farther apart and his words started to slur. 

“You’re getting tired,” I said after I counted the third yawn in five minutes. 

“A little bit but it’s fine. I want to keep talking to you. Tell me about your friends.”

“You need to rest. It’s late and you have a car to fix tomorrow.”

“It won’t be here until noon. I can sleep in.”

“But we both know that you won’t and you’ll just end up being grumpy tomorrow.”

“You don’t know that,” he muttered and I imagined the cute pout that was surely covering his face.

“I’m pretty sure that I do know that actually. I think you’re forgetting that I used to live with you and have seen how you get when you get less than a full 8 hours of sleep.” He groaned but said nothing at first. 

“I don’t want this to be over yet.”

“I know. I don’t either but it’s just a week. Then we’ll call again and we can make it last longer.”

“I thought you didn’t care about me when you didn’t call. You can’t do that again. I already told you, if you don’t think you can do the long-distance thing then we should just break up. I can’t sit by the phone every Saturday wondering if you’re going to remember that I exist or not.”

My heart clenched at the words, at the way his voice broke, the way I knew a few stray tears were falling from his eyes and I wasn’t there to wipe them away. 

“I do care. I care so much and I love you and I will never not call you. There won’t be a next time. This will never happen again. I know being late on the first call doesn’t set a great precedent for the future but I swear I will do better and it will not happen again.” He stayed quiet as I spoke but hummed the second I was finished. 

“It can’t happen again. I won’t have you string me along. The next time it happens I won’t let Mary in.”

“I love you, Roland. And I know you’re mad at me and you have every right to be but I love you even if you can’t say it back right now.”

“I love you too you idiot,” he said with a slight scoff. “I can love you and be mad at the same time.” I let out a breath I didn’t know I had been holding. 

“Say it again. Please.”

“I love you.”

“Again.” He chuckled and the sound so close to my ear had me relaxing farther onto the couch. 

“I love you, Kit Richards.”

“I miss you.”

“I promise I miss you more.”

“Remember what we talked about before I left. You have to try to make friends and get out of the cabin more. It’s good for you. Promise me you’ll try.”

“I’ll try.” 

“I love you, sweetheart. Please remember that and get some rest.” I went to pull the phone back and hang up when he stopped me. 

“Can you just stay on the line, please? I promise I’ll go to sleep but,” he trailed off and I hated the fact I wasn’t there to see the blush that no doubt covered his face. 

“Of course,” I said. I heard him slide under the covers and place the phone by his head. 

It didn’t take long for him to drift off so I hung up and hoped Mary wouldn’t wake him on accident when she came to retrieve her phone later. 

“How’d it go,” Cody asked as I slid the phone over to him.

“Sounded like it could have been worse,” Anthony commented. 

“It could have been a lot worse,” I agreed. “He’s mad and I expected him to but he didn’t break up with me like he threatened to when I was still at camp so I think it will be okay as long as it never happens again.”

“He’s not leaving the cabin,” Anthony said with a frown. “I know you said it was normal for him at the beginning but it’s worrying still.”

“Yeah, it’s not a good sign. Hopefully, Andrew and Mary will think of something to help.”

“I’m sure they will,” Cody said as he stood from the couch before stretching. “I mean it’s kind of their job. But either way, it’s well past midnight and we have work tomorrow so I’m going to bed.” He disappeared down the hallway, leaving me and Anthony being the only one still awake. It felt so normal. We were always the last two awake in rehab too. 

“Try not to stress too much about it,” he said as stood up before he hauled me up too. 

“It’s hard not to.”

“I know. If anyone knows how it feels to leave someone behind, it’s us. We’ve all been exactly where you are now back when you left for that camp. It’s going to be hard but you can do it. Just don’t fuck up like that again. I doubt he will be so forgiving next time."

I nodded because I knew he was right. This was my only free pass and I would be damned if I let it happen again.