"Don't forget your lunch!" Rin's voice echoes through the hallway as I sprint out the door.

I quickly turn around and snatch my lunchbox from my cousin's hand.

"Slow down. What's the rush?" Rin asks as he follows.

"I have a meeting with the coach before homeroom today. He's going to announce this year's captain today. I'm assuming he's telling me about that." I answer without so much as slowing down.

"Well, be careful. When you rush, you get clumsy!" Rin's voice trails off as I put more distance between us.

This year, my last in middle school, I'm not just determined. I'm committed to making it count. It's not just about showing off my athletic skills for a sports scholarship. It's about finding a sport that excites me, that makes me feel alive. I've tried every sport available at school but haven't found one that truly grabs me. While I enjoy basketball, I lose interest after the first half, and baseball's slow pace doesn't appeal to me. I'm looking for a sport that lights my fire.

Dad just doesn't get where I'm coming from. Rin says I could totally rock any sport, but that doesn't really help with my current feelings. I've been all about wrestling for the past year, but it's not hitting the spot. Winning a match just leaves me feeling empty, even though I do get into it during the match. I can't shake this feeling that there's something more for me out there. What am I really looking for? Will I ever find my true calling?

"Congratulations Parker. Captain of the wrestling team is a big deal!" Inna smiles at me warmly while patting my back.

Inna has been my best friend for as long as I can remember. We've had the same homeroom for the past three years, and she's always had my back, even coming to all my games. The thing is, I've started to have feelings for her that go beyond friendship. I've been crushing on her for the past year, but I'm not sure if I should tell her. I'm torn between risking our friendship by asking her out or keeping my feelings to myself. It's tough, but I think it might be best to keep my feelings to myself to avoid messing things up between us.

"Thanks, Inna. The season starts next week, so I won't be able to hang out with you after school for a while—until double practices end, at least." I remind her.

"I know. It sucks, but you're the captain now." She smiles again.

God, her smile is adorable. 

"Captain? Really? Congrats, dude. Hey, we should celebrate. It's Friday, so let's have a party by the old barn. We will invite a few people, and I'll get my brother to buy us some beers. What do you say?" Sasha asks as he wraps his arm around Inna's shoulder.

Sasha puts most of his weight on Inna, causing her to fold over until she moves away. 

Shit why does he always have to be all over her. He never used to be like this, but recently, physical contact increased. Sasha joined our friend group this year but seems to fit in well. Even if he hogs all of Inna's attention, it's annoying. I can't say anything, though. She doesn't seem to mind. Well, if I'm being honest, she blushes every damn time. I think that's what's really bothering me. Eh, whatever. If she has a crush on him, it's even more of a reason I shouldn't tell her how I feel.

"Beer? Are you serious? I'm trying to get a sports scholarship. I'm not going anywhere near underage drinking." I nag.

"Come one. No one will find out if we keep it small. Don't worry so much. Right, Inna?" Sasha nudges Inna.

"Uh, um, yeah. It'll be fine this once… right? You don't have to drink." Inna follows Sasha's lead.

Wow, I'm surprised. Inna doesn't act out like this. Her parents are strict, so she always goes home early. How does she plan on getting away with this? If she's going, I should go, too. I don't know what kind of guys Sasha will bring.

"Fine. I'll go, but I'm not drinking." I agree, but I feel like I'm walking into a trap.

Will this really be alright?

10:00 PM

"You're late. This party is for you, dude; what the hell?" Sasha grumbles as he escorts me to the fire. Everyone is sitting around.

"Sorry, my cousin dropped some heavy news before dinner, and I had a hard time sneaking out since my dad was still awake," I said honestly.

Rin has terrific timing. Instead of being happy about making captain, I can only think about him kissing other guys. What's so appealing about that? I admit that some guys in our school are hot, but I've never thought of kissing any of them. I wonder if Rin has kissed someone already. Did he kiss a girl and find it disgusting? Or did he kiss a man and find out that he liked it? I've never kissed anyone before. I don't know how it would feel to kiss either gender. Maybe I need to experience it myself to understand. Rin looked scared. Did he think we would stop loving him because he likes guys? If he was that scared but told us anyway, that must mean it was really important to him. Fuck, I can't stop thinking about it.

"Dude, what the hell did Rin say to you that has you so distracted?" Sasha asks as he passes me a cup with juice in it.

"I'm not sure I should say." I hesitate.

"Is it that bad?" Sasha's face turns serious.

"No, it's not bad, but it's not my news to share," I answer.

"Ah, I think I get it. Rin told you he was gay, didn't he?" Sasha asks bluntly.

My eyes widen as I see Sasha's face, hidden in the dancing shadows of the fire.

"How did you know that?" I ask without thinking.

"I had a hunch." Sasha lies. 

"Liar, what made you think Rin was gay?" I ask as I finish off the overly sweet-juice in my cup.

"Haha, caught me. Well, I kissed him. He was surprised, but somehow, we managed to make out briefly. Though, he hasn't talked to me since then." Sasha explains with a grin on his face.

Ah, it must have been when Sasha stayed the night six months ago. Rin hasn't even glanced in his direction since then. So, it must be true. Is that when Rin found out he was gay? Is Sasha that good of a kisser? And why the hell did he randomly kiss my cousin in the first place? Sasha is strange. However, now I want to know what it's like to kiss him too.

"Hi Parker. When did you get here?" Inna asks as she sits in the chair next to me. 

"I'll be back. I'm going to take a piss." Sasha says as he bolts off into the woods.

"A few minutes ago. I've been chatting with Ssassha." I slur as I nod in response to Sasha.

Huh? Why do I feel so hot all of a sudden? Strange.

"Excuse me for a second. I'm gonna get something to drink," I say to Inna as I stumble out of my chair.

I walk over to the table, scoop a spoonful of juice into my cup, and chug it.

"Woah there, my dude, that's not something you should chug." A man says to me as he takes away my cup.

"Huh, what do you mean?" I ask as my vision becomes blurry.

"This is party punch. It's a mixture of alcohol. It's strong. Don't tell me you didn't know. How much have you had?" The man asks with concern written on his face.

"One cup and whatever I just had," I answer.

So, what I'm feeling now is…

"You should sit down. Are you one of Sasha's friends? I'll have him sit with you. HEY! Douchebag, little brother, what the hell did I say about giving this punch to lightweights?" The man shouts as he escorts me to the empty chair beside Inna.

"I'll go get you some water. Keep on him on him." He tells Inna, who is now holding my arm.

"Parker, are you alright?" She asks as he leans close to my face.

"You're beautiful," I say without hesitation.

"Ah, oh. Thank you." Inna's flustered face draws me in. 

I can't help but stare at her lips. She is so close. I can smell her perfume mixed with smoke from the campfire. I find myself leaning closer to her without realizing my lips were planted on hers.

Inna doesn't move but doesn't kiss me back. Before I had a chance to come to my senses, someone pulled me out of my chair and threw me to the ground.

"What the fuck, Parker? Why are you kissing my girlfriend?" Sasha growls at me as I look up at him from the ground.

Girlfriend? Ah, that explains it. They are dating. How… annoying. Especially since the kiss wasn't even that good, now I pissed off Sasha for nothing.

I stand up and brush myself off. Sasha and I are the same height, and once I'm stable, I find myself standing too close for comfort.

"What? You going to kiss me too?" Sasha antagonizes me.

"You kissed my cousin," I say in response.

"What do you actually want to kiss me?" Sasha asks as he takes a step back.

"I am curious why my cousin would come out as gay after kissing you," I answer honestly.

"No fucking way. Stay away." Sasha's face contorts as he tries to hide his freedom.

Oddly, he isn't looking at Inna with his worrisome gaze but at his older brother.

I get it. He's afraid of his brother finding out he kisses dudes. Well, I wonder what would happen if I kissed him right now? 

Without hesitation, I walk up to Sasha, grab the back of his head, and kiss him. Unlike my kiss with Inna, Sasha kisses me back instinctively. He parts his lips enough to invite my tongue, which I gladly accept. Sasha doesn't push me away and even starts getting more aggressive. He likes it. Oddly enough, I do, too.

"Fuck. Off." A voice whispers in my ear, sending shivers down my spine.

The next moment, I'm flung to the ground again and kicked in the side. Before I can focus, the man grabs my hair and slams his knee into my face; without thinking, I wrestle the man to the ground. Finally, I got my bearings and noticed that Sasha's older brother was the man I was fighting with. 

"Stop it. This is between your brother and I." I say as I hold the college freshman in a chokehold.

The man then slams his fist into my face, making me jolt backward and lose my grip. 

The fight continued, with each of us exchanging hits until one of Sasha's brother's friends broke up the fight. Afterward, Sasha and Inna ignored me, and I took that as a sign to leave.

On my walk back home, I thought hard about what had just happened. Strangely enough, I could only think about the fight and my kiss with Sasha. Both moments excited me equally.

"And… that's how I found my passion for fighting and that I was Pansexual. Cool story, huh?" I ask.

"No. It's not. And I didn't ask. Why the fuck did you start telling me this in the first place? I only asked why you won't stop hitting on me." Anon answers with rage in his voice.

"Because hitting on you reminds me of that same excitement. It's addicting. It's like walking a tightrope between fighting and flirting. Come on, you have to admit it's fun." I say as I lean in close to Anon's face.

"Fun? I find it infuriating." Anon lies.

"Then why do you come here when no one is around but me?" I whisper in Anon's ear.

Anon blushes before smacking my face away. 

I burst out laughing while Anon continued nagging.