Toji jerked. “What?” 

Hero smiled. “Everything I’ve done, getting that seat and becoming a Mid-God,” he shrugged. “It doesn’t mean a damn thing to me. Knowing my son has done so much for us, for his family, and continues to do so without a second thought, that makes me proud. Your success is what I care about most. Yours and your siblings.”

Toji had to fight back the lump that jumped in his throat. “Really?” he said, his voice thick.

Hero nodded. “I know I don’t tell you that enough, and I know you feel like you’re a disappointment to me, but you’re not. You never have been. You’re an immense pain in the ass, but you have never once disappointed me or let me down.”

“But, the ceremony,” Toji blurted. “A-and all those other times I was late and you had to make excuses and apologies for me and—”

“You’re my son,” Hero said, stepping closer. “I’ll have to do that no matter what. It’s annoying and yes, it pisses me off which, by the way, amuses your Pater to no end.” He rolled his eyes, eliciting the first involuntary smile on Toji’s lips. Hero turned back to him, placing his hand on Toji’s arm. “But I still love you, I’m still proud of you, I’m still going to support you and stick up for you.”

“And still punish me when I deserve it?”

“‘Fraid so.”

Toji rubbed the back of his neck, averting his gaze. “Does…does that mean I can’t go on the vacation?”

Hero looked off into the distance, his thoughts and emotions conflicting with each other. This past year had been the absolute worst, but Toji had been doing so much better lately. And after everything he had gone through, what they had all gone through, he knew Toji had earned the right to return. Still…

He turned back to the tall young man standing before him, his eyes silently begging for this chance. His shoulders dropped. “Plead your case.”

Toji gasped deep in his throat. He had not expected this, even though Hero had said he would listen to whatever Toji had to say, especially when history had proven to him how rare that actually happened. However, in this case, he knew exactly what he could say that Hero might actually listen to, no matter how painful it may be for him.

“Toji’s memories have been coming to me for the last few years,” he began. “I didn’t know that’s what they were until the one that Pater caught me experiencing last month.”

Hero’s eye twitched but he didn’t say anything.

“It’s not just his memories, though,” Toji went on. “There’s the emotions, the confusion, the thoughts and feelings he experienced at the time. Even his likes and dislikes.” He smiled. “Like the Keurig.”

Hero blinked back tears, swallowing hard. Toji’s favorite sound in all the world was the coffee machine. He had hated the coffee Hawk used to make, but had made the attempt to at least try what Hero made for him.

“That’s the one I got last month. Pater was making coffee the morning after you two met and he gave Toji some goat’s milk, something he rarely ever did. I could even taste it, and felt it when it splashed in his face because he was lapping it up so fast. They were bantering back and forth before Toji told him he had to go see Sumi that night.”

Hero’s eyes darkened. The name of the former demon contractor, the one that had sold Hawk out to Ciel, still sent a shot of anger through him. It didn’t matter that he was dead, Sumi was still someone Hero hated.

Toji swallowed. “I had a couple more after that, but they weren’t as vivid. They were more of his feelings and thoughts. The one today had the same effect as that last one.” He told Hero about it, including all the thoughts Toji had at the time, things Hero and Hawk never knew. When he was done, Toji began fidgeting with his bracelet. “So…that’s why we were late,” he mumbled. He looked out over the vast plains, the sun beginning to set. “I know I should have been more conscious of the time when we were working with Finn, and really that’s where everything fell apart. I don’t have an excuse for that, either. His aide had to tell us what time it was before we realized how long we’d been at it.”

“Is that why he wasn’t at the ceremony?” Hero asked. 

Toji nodded. “Probably. That aide reports directly to his parents. He didn’t bring any of his stuff with him either, so when he got back, I’m sure Uncle Nox or Aunt Charlotte were furious and made him stay behind. They may have a more direct route thanks to the portals, but that didn’t mean Finn was going to be there.”

“I talked to Charlotte before they left,” Hero said. “Right after you and the rest of them took off, actually. She confirmed everything you said. And yes, Finn is in a world of trouble. I have no idea what he has to do to make up for it, and frankly I really don’t want to know. What matters is how I’m going to deal with you at this point.”

Toji felt a jolt of electricity shoot through his chest and into his gut. Here it comes…I’m so fucked.

“Look, if I have to stay, I’ll accept it,” he blurted out, trying to ignore the knot in his stomach and the shaking fist at his side. “But don’t do that to Ynda. She’s only in trouble because of me, anyway.”

“She’s in trouble because of her own actions,” Hero said. “And her punishment has already been decided. So has yours.”

Toji waited, bracing for the worst.

“On top of the extra sets you’ll be doing for Jordan,” Hero began, pausing as he watched his eldest stiffen, his blue and red eyes staring down at him with fierce resolve. He was ready to accept whatever punishment was in store for him after all. This is a first… Hero wanted to smile but held it in check. “On top of that, you will go with Alerik to the Sixth Realm and study strategy, intelligence gathering, and debriefing.”

“What?!”

“For a week.”

Toji slapped a hand to his forehead and groaned. “Gods, anything but that!”

“You will still be able to go on vacation with everyone else, but,” he held up a finger as Toji’s head snapped up and his eyes went wide with delight, relief flooding his body. “When you return, you will resume your studies and work on being on time!” He punctuated the last three words with three hard pokes to the chest. 

Toji rubbed at the sore spot with a silent “ow!” He nodded vigorously, grateful he wasn’t being forced to stay behind while everyone else got to have fun without him.

I can see Natsu again—! He froze, realizing that thought had gotten through. Fuuuuuck me.

Hero’s entire body rigid as a familiar anger began to rise. Toji clenched his fists ready to shut down the argument before it even began. He had just won, he wasn’t about to lose all over again by getting into a fight.

“I don’t know how many times I have to tell you he had nothing to do with what happened, so don’t even go there,” he growled, his voice deep like Hawk’s. It had been a while since he had gotten this defensive with his parents and Hero backed down quickly, especially as the dark energy Toji possessed began to swirl around his fists like flames.

Hero stared at him, trying not to let his unease show. After a beat, he said, “I certainly hope not.” With that he turned away, heading back in the direction of their house. He lifted a hand in a wave. “Give everyone the good news and don’t stay out too late. You and Ynda have a very busy week ahead of you.”

The dark energy subsided and Toji relaxed, watching as his father flew off, becoming a speck in the darkening sky. A breeze blew past, his bright red hair waving over his forehead, tickling the back of his neck. He rubbed at it, staring at the spot where Hero had disappeared for a moment longer before turning back to the village.

He shoved his hands in his pockets and walked with his head down, a smile slowly appearing on his lips. He was still going to Helman Hall. He would see Natsu again. Finally…

“Stay.”

The smile disappeared and his steps began to slow. 

“Please, just stay.”

He wanted to. If he had just said the words…but he couldn’t. He had swallowed them, his chest hurting, his heart breaking. His family was waiting for him, the door closing as they hid behind the hedge wall nearby, Toji’s hands shaking as he fought the urge to pull the other man to him. Natsu was staring up at him, pleading, tears running down his face, his emerald green eyes filled with anguish.

Would Natsu still want to see him again? After everything that had happened? After Toji had left him standing there, broken-hearted and falling to pieces in front of him, he wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if Natsu wanted nothing to do with him. But, what if he knew…? What if Natsu knew all that Toji had done this past year in an effort to see him again? He’d worked hard for this moment, swallowed his pride and kept his head down. Did every little thing his dad wanted in the hopes his “punishment” would be lifted.  

If he got the chance, he would tell him. He would tell Natsu everything, he would say the words. He should have just said it back then…maybe everything that had come after would have been avoided entirely. But no…he was a coward…he left Natsu standing there with the words hanging between them like a heavy cloud. He had taken two steps back from the only person in the world he felt anything for, and ran.

There was no lying about having a crush on Natsu. He could play whatever games he wanted to, it didn’t change the fact that he was in love with the cook at Helman Hall. And come hell or highwater, when the time was right, he would finally tell him. 

His steps quickened as he hurried back to the cafe, wishing desperately he had a way to contact Natsu right at that very moment and tell him, I’m coming home.

-*-