I could feel myself going in and out of consciousness. I was numb and confused. The whole situation seemed so horrid, so terrifying, it all felt like a dream. My vision was getting shakier. At that moment, I really thought I was going to die.

That is, until I could pick up on some noises. Vaguely and not very clearly, I heard the police and ambulance sirens going off. At least I think that’s what it was, but I was too tired to pay much attention, or even think. I wanted to go home, go to sleep to wake up, and see that it was all, in fact, a dream. No— a nightmare. Just a terrible nightmare. 

Mixed with the noises of barking dogs, which I assumed were trained cop dogs, I heard a voice calling my name. It almost seemed desperate. I couldn’t help but feel annoyed at that for some reason. The voice seemed to want for me to open my eyes and since it didn’t stop and kept begging and bawling, I thought if I listened to it, it would finally shut up. My eyes felt extremely heavy as I tried to open them. And as I opened them all I could see was a figure above me, I think it was sitting next to me and reaching out to hold my head in a certain way. Which made me even more uncomfortable. Behind the figure were what I figured would be the police or ambulance lights, going from red to blue and to red again almost nonstop. This made me even dizzier while my eyesight was already as blurry and as shaky as it could be. “Jay!!-“ called out the voice.

“Jayden, say something for fuck’s sake!”

I was confused before, sure but with the voices yelling in the background it got worse. Not because the person was yelling, but because it seemed oddly familiar.

I forced my eyes to open for just a second and saw that the voice, it belonged to him.

“Arthur?’’ I muttered, my mouth not allowing me to speak any further before it was pitch black again.

…

When I woke up, it took me a minute to realize where I was. I wasn’t in the woods, I wasn’t in my room either. The ceiling looked unfamiliar, and mixed medicine scents filled the room. None of what happened was a dream. It was all real, and here I was, sitting alone inside an empty hospital room. My upper body was covered in bandages, and every small movement I made hurt like hell, but I was alive. What about the others? I thought

I heard voices outside of the room, so I made an attempt to get up, only to fail, miserably. The people outside seemed to have heard me falling because they came barging in immediately. There was one doctor, a nurse, and our school’s vice principal standing at the door. All of them wore a similar, pitying expression.

There was so much I needed to say, so many questions too; but first things first, I needed to know one thing.

“Where is everyone?“ I looked the vice principal straight in the eye, who was making an obvious attempt to avoid eye contact. No one said anything and silence fell upon the room. I felt myself getting nauseous again. I repeated my question, this time more aggressive. “Where is everyone.’’

Still, nothing. 

I was glaring at them, but their pitiful expressions remained. I wanted to shout, I wanted to scream, I wanted to punch that goddamn vice principal right in the nose, but I knew well now that I had no strength left in me.

“Jayden..’’ he said, finally, his head facing his feet. “I'm so sorry–’’ he couldn’t look me in the eye.

“Maybe this isn’t the best time for this..’’ the doctor said, and he showed the vice principal to the door

“I have a right to know!’’ I said, my voice came out weaker than it was supposed to, but considering I was on the verge of throwing up, it was normal. “Where is Arthur?!’’ I continued. “Answer me!’’ I felt myself choking up.

“Listen, Jayden. We’re going to explain it all. But I need you to calm down first–’’ the doctor said, but I wasn’t in the mood for this bullshit.

“Don’t fucking tell me to calm down!’’ I yelled, and the doctor flinched, then a light knock was heard on the door. A plain looking man slowly entered the room. The man’s eyes studied me for a second, and then he smiled sympathetically. 

“You must be Jayden,’’ he said softly, as if he were talking to a kindergartner. He acted like nothing about this situation was fucked up, he didn’t seem to be disturbed or even weirded out. He took a few steps towards me and lifted me off the ground– yes I was still on the ground from the fall– then sat me down on the hospital bed, like it was no big deal.

“I’m Amari, nice to meet you’’ I only nodded briefly and cautiously, my eyes still glued to Amari’s. Amari turned to the doctor, the nurse, and the vice principal. “You guys may leave now’’

The doctor nodded, and they all went out of the room. The vice principal glanced at me one last time before shutting the door. Only me and Amari were left in the room, and I felt uneasy. I didn’t know this guy, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to.

As soon as the door was fully closed, I spoke up, my voice hoarse “Where is Arthur?”

The man, Amari sighed. You could see his sour expression that he tried to hide behind his sympathetic smile. Clearly he needed more practice. “Jay, i’m going to tell you everything you want to know; if that’s what you want, but for that, I need you to promise me the you will stay seated and listen”

“Fuck that, where is Arthur” I was starting to get impatient and couldn’t bother to hide the glare I was giving him. I didn’t want to hear no bullshit. I just needed them to tell me where my friend was so I could kindly go to wherever the fuck he was staying at and save both me and Amari the trouble of sitting in this stuffy godforsaken room.

Amari leaned forward slightly, his voice low and steady “You’re asking about your friend,” he began gently, watching me closely. “I want to answer that for you, but first I need to ask—do you remember what happened?”

I frowned, my fingers curling around the edges of the hospital blanket. “There were… men shooting at our campsite, I saw him on the ground with the others but he has to be fine. He had no bullets on him, I heard him. I know he was fine.” My voice cracked on the last word.

Amari nodded, giving me space to speak “There was a shooting, and the medical did everything they could for him.” He hesitated, his gaze steady but filled with something I couldn’t place.

“Everything they could..?” my words came slowly, disbelieving, like I was trying to force the situation to make sense. “What are you saying?”

“I’m so sorry, Jayden” Amari said softly “Your friend passed away on the way to the hospital.” 

My breath hitched as the words hang between us, his presence calm but unwavering. “I know this is hard to hear,” he said finally. “It’s okay to feel however you feel about it. I’m here to help you through this.”

14.06.2024