Author note: edited age to 15 and 18

The light flickers. I cast my stare to the floor. White marble. Two silhouettes. This story of absence where the shadow of the pyrostegia plants dwells. “From today on, you will call me, elder brother, Adelphus.”  Those words I still cannot comprehend. 

“For someone who had sworn vengeance against the emperor, you are so timid.” His voice scatters into the wind, the susurration of the foliage adds an ambiance of fleetingness into the air. I look upwards, only to be met by those eyes. Tranquil amber, the way it flickers under the light unnerves me. 

Don’t get fooled. I bite into my lips, it is not real, I tell myself. His gaze of hatred outside of the prison cell repeats  inside my mind. The way he mentions my mother, there is something more  to this. Something more to everything, my father’s unjust death, my mother’s disappearance… Him picking me up as a chess pawn. 

“Not willing…?” He asks, a sigh following it, “Fine by me, there are many other ways this could go.”

His highness Adelphus walks forward, and I can hear my mind scream. Stop him. There are many ways this could go. But any other choice than this; would lead to my death. The sound of my father’s head rolling on the ground. The ease of it all. I touch my neck with my trembling fingers.

I must say it, I must say it-

“… wait! Your highness-“ My screams are heard only by the wind, the thought repeats itself in my mind,  I must say it, “Elder- Elder brother Adelphus.. wait!”

For once, his steps finally stop. He does not retrace his footsteps. The realization hits me, he wants me to walk there. Still dressed in my blue stola, I cling on to the palla (shawl) fastened at my shoulders for warmth. Even if it is late spring, it feels cold here. Fearing his highness Adelphus would leave me, I hurry, walking in such a fast pace I might as well be running. My slip on sandals feel as though they might fall off.

“Good.” His highness says, leaning into the off-white pillars, one of the pyrostegia vines grazing the edge of his raven locks. Out of instinct, I brush it off, only to have my hand caught in the middle of the air. I wince from the pain, the grip strong and deadly. His eyes widen, for a second, before he realizes, it is just me. The shadows of a faraway war running through his mind.

“There is a fallen leaf on your hair,” I explain, not knowing with what composure, does my smile remain.

He lets go of his hand, with some dimwitted courage, I still brush the vines away. There is no color in his cheeks, no shy blush. We are always, too long gone, for such ideal ideas of romance. A girl without a home, at the ripe age of 15. A man burdened by the country, at the age of 18.

The wind blows, and with it a piece of the future I once  whispered into the wisteria at home flies with it. This is my home now, my future, my reality. He fixes the locks which had been in contact with the pyrostegia branches. No expression on his eyes. From the eye bags slightly prominent under his eyes, I could tell he is busy. 

“Go left from here, Titus will tell you what to do. Read the book  inside the locked box.” His highness Adelphus sneaks a key into my hand, it is brand new, no trace on rust on it. I fiddle with it, before clenching it tightly. Don’t make a mistake. Whatever I need to do from now, I must. “Don’t disappoint me again. Lillai Amor… no, dear sister Laelia.”

I watch him exit the corridor to the right. I suppose this is one of the grounds related to the main palace. His highness prince Adelphus. The forsaken prince who single-handedly regained favor by successfully holding the frontlines against the barbarians. 2 years ago, he must have not been much older than 16. 

How did he do it? 

I still my thoughts and turn to the left corner. Don’t get curious, don’t get attached. The only shadow I remember on the way to my room is in the end my own. After enough walking, I notice the Junior chamberlain from before, Titus, standing in front of what I presume is my room. The door is made out of cedar wood, it’s surface unscratched and polished. He smiles at me and opens the door.

There is no other word I can describe the room as other than enchanting. The floor itself seemed as though it is luminous, with vibrant, intricate mosaic tiles carving out the image of a poppy. Similar to his clothing, the furnitures in the room are color coded to be red, and the occasional Tyrian purple ornaments. The walls too are decorated with a shade of red, again, the usage of poppies- so lifelike, it looks as though it may sway.

Despite the beautiful visage of daylight painted onto the walls, despite the beautiful parasol stabbed into the ground and the image of a beautiful man lying down next to it, I cannot feel at peace. Known for their narcotic effects, the utilization of poppies could mean two things, a decline into hedonism, or proficiency in manipulation. This is a warning. I realize. Be useful, that is the only reason I brought you here.

Now, that I see that. This room blazing with the color of summer and spring, suddenly felt as cold as the bottom of a well. I am stuck here, no way out. 

Titus at least, aware or not of my real identity did not slack in his kindness, as he explains every nook and cranny of this room. Still shaken by today’s event’s I barely listen, until Titus mentions a fact I am still not aware of.

“I am so glad that your highness has fully recovered, and been reinstated into the succession line! Your highness must be happy… no longer being ill or in exile.”

What…. Is he even saying?

As the child of my parents, I was forced to memorize the name of every person who hold important lineage or status. And yet… no such information of this princess Laelia remains in my mind. Who is she? An ill princess, a princess in exile. Who is she? And why is it important that I take on her identity.

“Your highness should have seen their expression as his highness Adelphus request your reinstatement back into the empire’s family. Pfft.” The Junior chamberlain laughs a bit too slovenly, then he coughs and apologizes, “Forgive me, but the sight was such a delight that I-“

“Wait a second-“ I interrupted Titus’s explanation, my head throbbing with so much new information I cannot process it all together , “His highne- I mean, elder brother Adelphus requested my return?”

This request must be the reward promised by the emperor for successfully defending the frontlines against the invading barbarians. For what purpose did he use the bounty exchanged in return for risking his life? For what reason? His unfeeling eyes flash through my mind. It cannot be a reason as simple as pity. There must be something deeper. A political reason, a convoluted one.

“Ah yes, your highness was not aware? Then… could it be that you still do not know?”

I blink my eyes, each blink slower than the rest.

“About what…?”

Titus’s reply blooms within my ears, like the poppy on the wall’s mural. One, two inhalations spiraling my thoughts towards the verge of insanity. The only one I do not want to face.

“Why, of course, the marriage.”