The sight of the praetorian guard below my knee sends my feet two steps backwards. My back hits the wooden doors leading to the bathing chambers. How do I escape this awkward situation? As though sensing my emotions, a low chuckle sounds in the room.
As usual, I am not used to those amber eyes. Despite the pretense of gentility, the memory of the rippling hatred fleshed across as his hands choke down my throat is too recent, too fresh. Laelia Asiaticus. The one to be thrown into the barbarian tribes as a sacrifice diplomatic tie. The granddaughter of the previous emperor’s bloodline. Ah, I am in a well, a deep hopeless well. The choice always was death, just in different shades.
“You do not seem to be joyous.. Laelia.” He speaks, and for a second, I forget where I am and who I am supposed to be. His hands on my neck. The hardness to breathe. All too close. The night before my execution. The helplessness of it all.
His eyes. On. Me.
I snap back to reality. My hands clutches my elbows. It takes all of my concentration to not touch my neck. The sight of the guard still on the floor makes me anxious. Neglect. Emotions. I put my hands behind my back. Forsake weakness.
“Can anything surpass the joys of meeting you, brother? I was surprised. That’s all.”
I despise every syllable, every word, leaving my mouth. And despite the curl of his lips, I could tell, he despises it too. The conversation I had with Titus, the Junior chamberlain repeats in my mind. Adelphus picked me up from the prison with an intention. He asks for this. The reinstatement of her highness Laelia.
Knowing of my engagement to the barbarian tribes, I highly doubt it’s to gain supporters from the previous dynasty’s line. It must have something to do with the barbarians. I tell myself repeatedly. And yet… the patience in his amber eyes speak of a secret. He treats me too kindly. I am not gullible enough to think it is love.
What is the reason?
“Ahem.” The guard coughs, and I quickly let him rise to his feet. His grumpy expression remains etched into his face. So fitting it could be his default expression.
Aware of the err I commited, I bring him up to his feet.
This is not how the praetorian guard should be treated. The guard which has been involved with manipulating the succession lines in the last century, even going as far as helping to assassinate the previous emperor… the one who shall be believed as my grandfather.
I do not feel safe.
“I‘ll trust you with my safety, custos (title of guard).” I greet him by the correct title, he does not ask me to call him by name.
“Enough of that, come with me.” His highness Adelphus drags me to the courtyard, his eyes hinting at me to follow. I do, and the praetorian guard follows after me like a shadow, like a tail. A supervisor. I hide the mocking chuckle that nearly escapes my throat. He is afraid I would escape the marriage. This man.
The sight of the golden tree chain swaying in the wind fills my eyes. Oh, how it shines under the barrage of daylight. This vibrant palace that does not suit him. Does not suit me. I trail after his footsteps, following him all the way under a tree that looks older than a hundred years. To my surprise, he sits on the plush grass, still irradiated by the sun, and beckons me to follow.
Against my desire to remain standing, I situated myself next to him.
As though barring his defense, his highness Adelphus lays down on the grass. If I was an assassin, I might be able to take his life. Then again, I highly doubt I could. He raises his hands upwards and squints his eyes, as though being overwhelmed by light.
“If there is one thing, I could have loved about this palace, it would be the scenery adorning it.” He utters, confusing me with the uselessness of it all. When he picked me up from that dingy cell, I am sure, he did so with calculated motivation. With a goal to score.. So… why are we playing family?
I bring my knees together, in front of me, fiddling with the dry grass below. It is too peaceful here. Those amber eyes fool me thrice. My gaze fixates itself on the canopy of cascading yellow petals. Whoever designed this palace, loved cascading, vibrant plants. This recurring theme.
“They would have called you a hedonistic prince,” I jest, relaxing too much than I should have, “daydreaming into the beauty of nature. One would think, the successors to the throne would associate themselves with books, the sword. Not the love of plants.”
His highness Adelphus swipes his gaze through me before closing his eyes. It is too peaceful. The suffocation from that night fills me. Those hands around my neck. Wake up, Lillai. I clench my fingers and shift my gaze away from the draping canopy.
“No. They would have killed me.” His voice runs cold, I can hear the scoff leaking from his emerging ruthlessness. He blinks open, the undercurrent of hatred drumming through those reflective amber eyes. “There is many things you have to learn to stay alive, Laelia.”
The playfulness in me gets stuck in my throat.
“For example?”
He smiles indifferently, “Noticing, there are three assassins in this garden.”
I quickly dart around, only to be pressed to the ground, his elbow on my collarbone. The sight of his face hovering over me does not make me overlook the three arrows that shoot past above his head. My hands tremble, that obscure smile sending my mind into a frenzy.
The praetorian guard in the background hurriedly assembles a trio of chasers and pursues the assassins. His highness Adelphus, returns to his initial position and returns to admiring the trees. I follow along, fearing another assassin attempt. How could it be? One week, before the welcoming banquet and an attempt on my life already.
“The life of a royal, can be the most indispensable or disposable thing in the empire.” His highness Adelphus ruthlessly states. And I can still feel my heart beating from the sudden shock. Three arrows, three ways I could have died. Three attempts at the same time.
I glance sideways from my position, my back flattened against the ground and under the cover of greenery from the sunlight. His face does not provide any insight. His words from that night repeats in my mind, “Die for me… If you do, I will teach you how to survive instead of waiting like a pig to the slaughter house.”
He must know, growing up here.
The way to survive.
“This is the reason you called for me? To warn me of the dangers?” I confront him.
He stares at me, indolently from the side, tilting his head, this close distance does not make me forget of how distant I am to him in his heart, but for a second, under the warm filtration of sunlight, under the swaying of the grass, under the gentleness of those obscure eyes. It feels as though I might forget.
“Laelia, I am not your guardian nor your caretaker. My sole purpose is to prepare you for the mission, to ensure you survive till then and after then.” His highness Adelphus’s words blow into the wind, and my heart, still beating, slows down. His next words chill it entirely, “Based on the reports, there are two parties who long for your disappearance. They will be active for a week until your welcoming banquet, deal with them, or I will let them deal with you.”
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