My mother decided to get married in the city. Then honeymoon there. Permanently.

"You all packed, honey?"

"Yes, dear."

"Oh, not you, darling. Esi?"

"Yeah, I'm finished," I answered.

"Is...Is there anyone you would like to say goodbye to?"

My mother was always bad at hiding her discomfort. Her fidgeting belied her anxiety to get out of town unnoticed.

"No."

"Alright then!" she exclaimed, extra cheerily. "Let's get in the car."

~.~

Maybe I should explain.

My biological father was an abusive trash pile and drank himself to death, but not before he left countless scars on me and my mother. Ever since, she'd had terrible luck with men. After three remarriages, sixteen fiances, and countless boyfriends, she had finally found the one. However, the village we lived in now contained many distrustful people who had just barely warmed up to me and my mother and had stooped to finding "evidence" of her fiance's "heinous crimes" to get her to break it off with him. Yet he took this gracefully and had a gentle "next steps" conversation with my mother. That's how the decision to move came about.

~.~

"Esi! Where's the amulet?!" my mother asked, sounding panicked.

"In the car!" I yelled back. 

~.~

The amulet belonged to four generations of women in my family, always passed down to the youngest. It was a precious family heirloom, but I was still surprised it hadn't crumbled into dust.

~.~

"We're all set!" my mother exclaimed, buckling up.

As we started the drive, she brought up the amulet.

"Esi, you're approaching thirteen. The amulet gets handed down at sixteen."

I knew what she was getting at.

"Mom, I'm an only child...and a boy, in case you forgot."

"Does that mean you don't want it, Ezyn?" she asked, a hint of sadness in her voice.

"It's not that...but a lot could happen in three years."

They burst out laughing.

"Do you want a baby sister, Esi?" she asked between laughs.

"Guess we have a job to do, Lyla!" Arven -- my mother's fiance -- said, still chuckling.

I felt my face burn from embarrassment. Although, It was part of why I liked Arven. He didn't try to suck up to me 

or treat me like I wasn't there. I was always part of the conversation...I just hoped he stayed that way.

Turning on my music, I plugged in my earbuds and relaxed in my seat, drowning out the rest of the world and letting sleep carry me away.

~.~

A scream jolted me awake.

I tore out my earbuds, frantically searching for the source. Then I realized neither my mother nor Arven were in the car. 

"Mom? Arven?" I called, trying to keep my voice even as I got out of the car.

I fought the rising panic in a struggle to stay calm. I checked my phone...which was dead.

Explained how I heard the scream.

The car was parked in the middle of a forest, trees in every direction. 

"But we were supposed to head to the city...Why are we here?"

I bit my nail nervously, racking my brain for the answer.

A memory surfaced.

"'Lyla, I know the way to the city by heart, just trust me.' is what he said," I murmured, recalling Arven's words to my mother a few days before the trip.

The only logical conclusion I came up with was that he took a wrong turn, and because we were somewhere in the woods, there was no signal, so they went for help.

"But then why wouldn't they wake me up...Oh."

The second, sappier, and very logical conclusion I found was they wanted a some alone time for a romantic walk in the woods and felt bad about waking me up. 

"Maybe I just dreamt the scream," I mumbled, deciding to sit back in the car and wait.

But then I heard another scream, and I recognized the voice.

"Mom!" I yelled, the panic I had been supressing now bubbling over.

Without thinking, I charged in the direction of the shriek.

~.~

It wasn't far...that was probably the worst part.

The first thing I saw was the blood.

There was a lot of blood.

The metal smell choked me, but it was nothing.

Nothing compared to the sight of my mother's mutilated body.

It made my stomach churn, and I hated myself for it. My mother was still my mother, even though she was dead.

Then I saw Arven standing over the body, a knife in hand and baseball bat on the ground next to him.

All three were covered in blood.

I wanted to kiss my mother, I wanted to hold her, but I ran instead.

She had always told me to have more common sense than she did.

"Ezyn!"

I froze when he called me.

"You can't drive, and even if you wanted to, I have the keys. If you run, I will catch you. I know these woods better than you do."

My shoulders drooped with every truth he mentioned.

"Come here, and you won't end up like your mother."

Slowly...reluctantly...I complied.

He closed the gap between us, standing so close the smell of the blood on him made my head spin.

"Good boy," he said, tousling my hair, then dragging his hand down the side of my face. "Do you know why I killed your mother?"

I shook my head slightly.

"Your mother was a very unstable woman. She'd been in so many relationships, how could that not have messed with her head? When she told me, I decided to put her out of her misery. And do you know why I chose this forest?"

I shook my head once again, unable to understand why he was telling me all of this. Was he going to kill me too and make me take these secrets to my grave?

"Because this is the same forest my father killed my mother in. But since it was unpleasant for me to watch back then, I decided to let you sleep. See how considerate I am?"

His murderous look told me to nod yes.

"Esi," he said, his voice strangely sweet, "I am your father now."

I nodded once more.

He pocketed his knife and placed his other hand on my face as well. Even if it was feasible to take the knife from him, I couldn't...because I was too terrified of this man to move.

"I see why that woman gave you such a cute nickname. You do look quite feminine." He stared at me, then said, "Don't ever get into a relationship, Esi. They're nothing but trouble. You hear me? Your father forbids it."

"Yes...father."

The pure, innocent smile on his face scared me even more than the malice that was previously there. He grabbed my wrist and dragged me along, bringing me to a cabin deeper in the woods, although my eyes didn't tear away from my mother's lifeless body until she was too far away for me to see anymore.

"This is your new home, Esi," he said, a sparkle in his eyes. "Do you like it?"

"It's very lovely," I responded, straining to speak normally.

Forcing myself to talk was torture. My body ached, the world was spinning, and I wanted to curl up in the fetal position.

"...phone."

I looked at him blankly, not hearing his full sentence.

He gripped my wrist tighter. "Give. Me. Your. Phone."

I hurriedly handed it to him, hoping he'd let go. My wrist was already bruising. He didn't let go. Instead, he dropped my phone on the ground, stomped on it until I was sure it didn't work anymore, and finally looked at me with his sickly innocent smile and said, "You don't need a phone because I'm here. I will always be here."

Those words sounded more like a threat than a reassurance.

He proceeded to drag me inside the cabin and shoved me inside a bedroom.

"I'll be right back, Esi. Make sure you don't leave, or I'll have to punish you."

I doubted my legs would carry me far enough anyways.

"Wh-where are you going?" I asked.

"To gather our things and bu...ry that woman. I'm going to lock the door for your safety, okay?"

He wasn't going to bury her. He was going to burn her.

When he left, I collapsed, curling up on the ground. I cried, I grieved, I screamed until I fell asleep.

~.~

I woke up, hoping the day before had been a dream.

It wasn't, and my attempt to wake up after pinching myself failed. I rubbed my eyes. I heard a click, and the door opened. It was then I noticed that I was lying in the bed in fresh clothes, though I didn't want to think about it.

"Good morning, Esi!" Arven greeted.

"It's...morning?"

There was no window in the room, leaving it perpetually dark. 

"Yes. For your safety, I can't put a window in your room."

Because I'm a prisoner, I added in my mind.

"On another note, you scared me when I found you collapsed. I thought something was wrong, but you were simply sleeping. Anyways, breakfast is ready."

He sat on the side of the bed and kissed me on my forehead.

I pushed down the churning in my stomach and let him.

If I were to survive, I need to let my true emotions go and live the lie of being his child.

If I were to survive, I needed to be perfect.