Chaos. Daybreak. No hours of sleep. Void. It is dark, here in this room. Too late. The first cry of a deadman pounds at my head. Close… it is too close.. I sit still in the four poster bed, still incapable of lapsing to dreamless slumber.
I still see it. The sound of incessant waves. My own feet submerged amidst the gentle brush of sea lavender and asters. The gentle drop of a high price dream. My own body under those reefs. For the clock that has started ticking to rewind. One. Two. An aeria of sighs fills my throat. There is no salt in the air, no marsh at my feet but the gentle plush of my sweat drenched blanket.
So close… So far away. The laconic sound of home, in the faint hallucination of the incoming sound of high tide. For the land to displace itself, back to home, back to Tarquinia, back where my family is still alive. “Be grateful of the emperor's mercy.” This sound that won’t stop repeating itself. The sound of that head rolling.
I still see it. No matter the beauty of the whitesmoke muslin draping down the ceiling of the bed, No matter the ostentatious bloom of flowers in the air. No matter the decorations attached to my name. This is a hatred that cannot be quelled, because the eyes cannot unsee what it has seen, and the eyes are the window of the soul, and my soul, drips with the blood of my parents.
Salt marshes, blood lands. Take away, this slumberless thoughts. The chirping of birds penetrate through the stale night. Ah… daybreak has come. I finally realize it. Three knocks graces my door, I am unnerved by the thought of the task assigned to me. Can’t. Too much. This weight that knows no bounds.
“You may enter.”
My body under those reefs.
The last sight of home.
“Forgive me for my words, your highness, but your countenance betrays good health. Should I delay your plans for today?” Janae urges, I never had much impression of her, my lady in waiting.
Now that I think of it, she must be someone sent to watch over me. My supervisor. How many people around me could I even trust? How many people around me are loyal to me? The thought of the leader of my small retinue of guards, Marcus Servialinus enters my head. It feels as though my stomach is twisting, too much pressure. Will he take the bait?
My eyes land on Janae, so demure looking. Yet, only one thought remains. How many people around me…? This is not home. I know. “Die for me.” I have long since lost any naive dreams of entitled happiness. The sight of prison still feels like yesterday. That wretched place. I must wake up. That yesterday, that home nested amidst the marshlands and hilltops of tarquinia. Has long gone. Laelia Asiaticus. I hate you more than you will ever know.
“It is alright, Janae. I can’t have the onlookers suspect any weakness.” I decline the offer, before discussing an interesting matter, “I heard Marcus was not the only guard assigned, so, tell me, many men are between me and my murderers blade?”
She laughs for a second, perhaps finding my words hilarious, “Enough to destabilize the hierarchy within this palace. I’d suggest avoiding meeting her highness Alcippe for the time being.”
The amount of guards assigned to a royal is an indicator of status, here in the Creon empire. It is said, the golden ratio of guards are 10-20 guards, but that only applies to higher ranking princesses. There are two favorite princesses living on the favor of the emperor, her highness Alcippe, daughter of the first empress, and her highness Calista, who surprisingly was born from the womb of a lowly artisan. A lyre player… I believe.
Despite the repeated sermons from the pope for the emperor to embrace monogamy, his majesty remains to be wanton in his desire…. It is suspected, that had the previous emperor who was dethroned in the last 30 years not acknowledged Christianity, had the citizens not grown respect for this religion. The Creon empire would return to being an empire filled with many gods.
At the very least, his majesty, in his prime age of 48 years old, has no intent of stopping his polygamous ways. The citizens are distraught or rather ghastly amused by the scandals that fills their den of rumors. I suppose gaining the support of the church is one way to survive. The thought of marriage to the sicant tribe who still practice polygamy and their cults fill me with unease.
Everything I ever wanted, shattered.
“-ur majesty..!”
I wake up to the calling of a worried Janae. Not wanting to disrupt this facade anymore, I gloss over my loss of focus, “I am fine Janae. Let’s proceed with today’s events.”
Preparations mean….. I glance at my reflection in the mirror. Looking the part. The thought of another lengthy dress up session tires me, even more so the massages done during each bathing session. Too much time lost. But forget it, I grabbed a robe and threw it over my head, heading out.
Upon opening the door, I am greeted by the sight of 19 burly men. I close the door straight away.. what on earth is going on? Yet, the door is kept partially open by a strong arm, Marcus Servialinus, the praetorian guard, who most likely is the leader of this… ensemble.
“I assure you. We mean no harm… your highness, Laelia.” The softening of his eyes does not decrease the amount of strength put into his hold over the door. It just. Won’t budge. I suppose, he is afterall, a praetorian guard. Elite over all these guards, usually subservient only to the emperor…
Odd. His presence in my retinue is just odd.
What is his highness, Adelphus thinkin-
How would the emperor think?
No… I am sure this can only occur under the permit of the emperor… which means, even Marcus is here to supervise me. Could yesterday’s words be a mistake? I glance into his expression, no betraying signs.
“No harm yet you forgot the one done to my privacy?” I jest slightly, triggering an amused snicker. Clearly my sense of humor did not die alone. It is the last bit of comfort this palace holds.
“Oh please, your highness. Your privacy weighs nothing compared to your life. I assume, you enjoy living more than the privacy of the imperial mausoleum?” For someone so stern looking, Marcus is talented in bantering.
Good, at least I won’t be bored for the time being.
I raise my eyebrows, “Don’t worry, custos. If I die, my dying wish would be for you to be buried with me.”
He freezes for a moment and I finally could not hold my laughter in. I am afraid the boisterous outbreak would be enough to reveal I am not Laelia, but, no one questions my identity. Somehow. Having enough, I clear my throat and walk ahead, preparing myself for the day.
Towards my first class, the first I ever had in this field, the art of archery.
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