Silence. The calm before the storm, the deafening pressure to be seen but not heard yet I don’t want to be seen at all. I must be quieter than the silence, a faint whisper or shift of movement will set off more unwelcome pain. My whole body is alert and my ears are ringing at attention. I try to concentrate on the floor, it's cold, and the room is dim but not completely dark thanks to the faint light that spills through the opaque frosted window. Just enough light to count the wooden floorboards and trace the grains on the surface with my eyes. I make sure to hang my head low, not daring to look up at the bloodshot eyes I know are imposing above me daring me to protest against their authority while I protect my head with my arms, and press my knees into my chest. Hoping that if I'm still enough, time will move faster but silence is not my friend. For I've been rejected from it many times before and this time is not any different. First, a tear falls then a sniffle followed by a heated kick to my side, it burns but the fear of making another mistake paralyzes me and the room is quiet once again. “Gim.” the towering figure spits out at me, she said it as if just saying the word dirt left a foul taste in her mouth. “I am not scared of you demon!” The silence has been broken and my body starts to relax as the woman occupies herself by slurring a series of curses and insults. Although her words are harsh, full of anger and resentment I know the storm has passed.  

Although she has left, my body and has no strength to move, I can not cry because I’m afraid that once a tear leaves my eyes she will come back so I sit there. Wondering about how I ended up here in this situation once again. “Scared”? Why would she be scared of me when her presence makes me tremble and cower in fear? Each movement of her body makes me flinch even if I’ve done nothing wrong. Wait? Did I do anything wrong? Why is she angry? All these unanswered questions filled with confusion and silent apologies that will never be heard flood my mind until the weight of my tears causes me to drift off into comforting slumber.