By the time the weekend rolled around, Nao had readjusted to school. With the help of MEI, the metamatrix, and the materials he’d gotten from the teachers, he also caught up where he had fallen behind. Things were starting to get better.
But he’d been dreading this day.
When he woke, he spent a long time lying still, not opening his eyes. Only when the sunlight fell over his face did he finally open them, and it was another good stretch of time before he got up and made himself something to eat.
He didn’t have the energy for anything extravagant, so he only warmed up a batch of frozen udon and ate it with a couple of eggs. He took his time, letting the sun fall further, then cleaned up and washed the dishes. He tidied the rest of the apartment, showered and dressed. When he finally left the apartment, the sun was beginning to set.
Nao didn’t have trouble finding his way around anymore. It was a simple matter to get down to the street, get into a travel pod, set its speed lower to give him room for thinking. All of these things were done on autopilot, in the same way he had received his tablet a week ago and stepped into a brand-new life.
He didn’t know what was going on inside himself. He only knew that it was unpleasant.
Streets flashed by, bathed in orange glow from the sun and pink-blue glow from neon signs. Rain was beginning to fall, adding little droplets like transparent glitter on the exterior of the pod. Lights danced in every corner of Nao’s vision; it was all very beautiful, a sight to behold. Nao burned it into his mind.
The neon lights started to fade as he left the center of the city, leaving only the rapidly dimming light of the sun and the soft yellow streetlights. The pattering of the rain intensified, and the travel pod rolled to a slow and gentle stop.
Nao climbed out and stood on the sidewalk for a long moment, his heart beating out of his chest with fear and anxiety.
Side by side and row after row, gravestones spread out in front of him, dampened by rain and glistening under the streetlamps.
Nao had considered the question of what had happened to the people he knew. Over the week, he’d searched up all of his former lab partners and friends from school. He was presented with a date of birth and a date of death for all of them. Every time, he’d sit there for a while, then cry in silence until he fell asleep or ran out of tears. But he hadn’t been able to bring himself to look up his parents.
Now, standing before the graveyard with its numerous headstones, he could barely force his feet and legs to move, to carry him forward. The rain soaked through his hair and shirt, dripping down to wet the rest of him. He walked the rows amid the falling drops and read the names, one by one, until he reached two graves laying together, each with an identical surname and date of death.
Takara Henry and Takara Nori. They had died on the same day, about thirty years after Nao.
On this Saturday evening, in front of these graves that had been left unvisited for more than a hundred years, a young man dressed in a black coat and matching pants fell to his knees and wept in the darkening night.
Nao didn’t like to cry. He could count on one hand the times he had cried before his death. But ever since he’d been reborn, it seemed like all he could do was cry. There was absolutely no other way to bear the heavy burden of knowing that his time had a century ago passed, and with it, everything he loved.
His life had been snuffed out in an instant. Even he himself had been unaware of it until he’d suddenly been yanked back into existence. He’d had no chance to say goodbye, to tie up his loose ends, to provide some closure.
His parents had died thinking that their son was lost forever, and Nao had been reborn without the chance to tell them how much he loved them, how much they meant to him. On both sides of history, there was only endless aching. Their lives had passed each other by, and there would never again be a chance to ease that suffering.
Nao remembered the last thing he’d said to his mother—a promise that he would be home in time for dinner. He’d broken that promise. How he wished now that he had left school only a little earlier, caught a ride home, walked back with one of his friends. . .done something that would’ve kept him out of trouble.
If this was the cost of a second chance at life, Nao would rather die.
The rain continued to fall hard. Nao cried for a good while, then slowly gathered himself up and stood. He apologized for not bringing flowers, instead leaving a small offering of 50-lumen coins on each headstone. He promised to bring something better next time, then said goodbye, leaving the graveyard and standing at the corner under the lamp to wait for a travel pod.
Traffic was light in this area. Nao could stand there for an hour without seeing a single pod, but it didn’t bother him. He enjoyed the stillness of this place, the undisturbedness. It gave him the sense that everything but the rain had come to a complete stop, even the universe.
So he stood there.
After a time, the rain suddenly ceased to fall on his shoulders. The pleasing sound of droplets bouncing off an umbrella filled his ears, and Nao looked up.
Standing at his side, and indeed not glowing though it was dark, was Rin, holding a simple black umbrella over the two of them. His eyes were just as red as Nao’s, swollen around the bottom, making it obvious that he too had cried.
“You’ll make yourself sick, getting soaked in the rain like this,” Rin said. His voice was hoarse; somehow, it comforted Nao to hear it. “Why didn’t you bring an umbrella?”
“It wasn’t raining when I left my apartment,” Nao replied.
Rin looked at his thoroughly wet clothes and seemed unhappy. “Why did you stay out in the rain so long? Your lips are blue and you’re shivering.”
Nao blinked once. He hadn’t even noticed until Rin said something. “. . .”
“Your pants are muddy.” Rin was apparently going to list everything that displeased him about Nao’s current condition. “And you’ve been hanging around this corner for almost an hour. Seriously, are you trying to wind up ill?”
“. . .There haven’t been any travel pods,” Nao said. “I was just waiting for one.”
Rin frowned. “You don’t know how to call one?”
“I. . .forgot.”
That was nothing but a lame excuse, but Rin seemed to buy it. He sighed and handed the umbrella to Nao. “Hold this for a moment. I’ll call a pod.”
“. . .Don’t we need to go different places?”
Rin glanced up at Nao from his tablet. “You need to warm up, and I need to eat dinner. We’ll go our separate ways after getting a meal.”
“Rin-san, I didn’t bring much money with me,” Nao said.
“I have enough to pay for both of us, it’s fine.” Rin slipped his tablet back into his coat and took up the umbrella again. “The pod will be here in a minute or two. Next time you go out, take an umbrella just in case—even if it’s sunny.”
Nao made a noise of affirmation, and silence fell between the two of them for a moment. After a hesitation, Nao asked, “Rin-san. . .who did you come to visit today?”
There was another period of silence. Just when Nao thought Rin wouldn’t answer, he said in a low voice, “My parents.”
Nao let out a soft ‘oh’, and in the next few minutes, he put the pieces together.
The two people Hanaka Nao had murdered must’ve been Rin’s parents. Every time Rin interacted with Nao, he seemed to be fighting back some deep grudge, an anger and hatred that couldn’t be put to words. It must’ve been because Nao had the face of the person who killed his parents.
Nao felt that he’d have to find a way to alter his appearance. He didn’t want to wear the face of a murderer.
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