Introduction
I let the tears freely fall as they lower my mother's casket into her eternal resting place. The skies were dark and mourning with me. But the raindrops that grazed upon my skin were gentle, the exact opposite of the inner turmoil I feel inside. She was healthy and beautiful, but love killed her. No, it's unfair to say that, but in a way, her overwhelming love for her husband sent her to her demise.
"I promise, Mom. I will never love like you. I will protect my heart. I will not let my child experience the same fate as I did. I will right all of your wrongs; you and your husband's mistakes." I took a deep breath and rubbed my numb chest, a dull pain throbbing inside.
At seventeen, I considered myself an orphan. Mom left me and I don't have a dad anymore. Oh, he's very much alive, but I'm disowning him. He's dead to me. That cheating scum died when he cheated on Mom.
"Shall we go?" A soft voice from beside me asked. I turned to him and nodded. River Westfall, my best friend, and brother from another mother, pulled me for a tight hug. "It's going to be okay, Arden. I'm here for you. We are here for you; me and Aunt Becca. You are welcome in our home."
Eight years later,
River was true to his words: he and Aunt Becca adopted me into their home and I couldn't be more grateful. River lost his parents to a vehicular accident when he was five and it was Aunt Becca, sister of River's mother, who took care of him. River's parents were affluent and left River a very comfortable life, which explained why he adopted me without a second thought. In return, I try my best to behave and not annoy him, especially these days when I'm on the hunt for the perfect sperm donor.
River is a year older than me and he is very protective. When I told him two years ago that I want to have a child, his eyes almost fell out of their sockets. If not for the seriousness of the situation, I would have guffawed at his comical expression.
"You mean, you want to adopt a child," River clarified with a smile and a nod.
"No. I want to have a child. I mean, carry one."
River looked at me as if I was the craziest person he ever met. That's slightly insulting. "Can you even hear yourself, Arden? You're talking about pregnancy as if you are choosing what you want to cook for dinner. You don't even have a boyfriend."
I grimaced in disgust. "Of course! Why would I need one?! What are you suggesting? Ew!" I shook my fingers dramatically as if I shook hands with a man. I am not a man-hater: I just don't like them. There's a difference. Maybe. I don't go around preaching that men are assholes, so there's that.
River rolled his eyes and threw me a droll stare. "How can you get pregnant without a man? You're not Virgin Mary."
This time, it was my turn to give River a deadpan look. "Sperm banks, duh."
River sported a scandalized expression. "Oh my goodness, Arden! You are not going to a sperm bank. End of the discussion!"
Well, that was not the end of the discussion.
It's not an exaggeration to say that I used my charms and persuasion powers to convince River to let me go to a sperm bank. There are sperm banks specifically catered to carriers, only that, they have strict requirements. One needs to be married and two, you need a hefty bank account, and River checks the major prerequisites. I can ask him to pretend to be my fiancé and let them take a peek at his bank account: problem solved. Only that, River is being so difficult.
"Why not? Come on, River. It's a simple request," I childishly stomped my feet as I followed him to his room. He is on his way to a business trip in England. He doesn't want to go because he is worried that I might do something stupid, which is quite unfounded, but it is a major business deal and he doesn't want to lose it.
River zipped his suitcase and grabbed his keys and wallet before turning to me. "The answer is still no, Arden. Who knows where those sperms came from? I thought you're the one with trust issues? Why are you still insisting on this?"
"I did thorough research, River. This sperm bank is well-trusted by carriers and also well-recommended. I want to have a child." I want someone to take care of and give my full attention and love. There are times when I feel as if I'm mindlessly treading on this journey called life. I finished college and have a decent job, enough to give my future kid a comfortable life, but I don't feel fulfilled. It's as if there's a void in my chest.
With a heavy sigh of defeat, River walked to me and reached for my hand. "I am not promising that I will agree, but I'll think about it, Arden." My ears perked up and I let out a high-pitched squeal when I heard his answer, with my arms tightly wound around his torso.
This is very good news! He usually turns me down but this time, he is considering it. As much as I would like to think that I'm old enough to do what I want, River's opinion matters to me. He is my family and I don't want to disappoint him. Knowing that he is willing to consider my insane idea is proof that he spoils me to bits.
"Thank you, thank you, thank you," I said excitedly, my eyes watering from the overwhelming emotions assaulting my chest.
River inhaled deeply and patted my head. "I have been hoping that this is just a whim of yours but you have been pestering me for two years, Arden. I think this is more than a whim. You are serious about this." I nodded and buried my head in his chest. "If you promise to keep out of trouble, we will have a long talk about this after I get back."
I leaned back and grinned. "I'll be good, River. Thank you." He smiled and pinched my cheek, then dragged me outside with his arm around my shoulders. River put his suitcase in the trunk and waved me goodbye. "Take care out there."
"I will. You too, behave," he reminded me and threw me a warning look. "I'll be gone for a week and I don't want to hear another news about you punching your blind date." I grimaced when I recalled what happened last week.
River is against me going to a sperm bank but he's okay if I go out on dates. He said that it will help me with my trust issues and maybe, I'll find my true love and forget about going to a sperm bank. My last date was horrible. He thought that I met up with him for sex and that was a major turn-off. He was not that attractive but he had the gall to tell me that all carriers are only baby-makers. He ended up in the hospital with a broken nose and River only gave me a one-hour lecture since he understood where I came from.
"You know that he deserved it, that asshole. Alright, I'll behave. Hurry up or you'll be late for your flight."
He shook his head and before he dropped to the driver's seat, he sent me a smirk. "I have a jet, Arden. You always seem to forget that."
"Urgh. Rich kids." River laughed and drove away while I went back inside. I headed to the kitchen to prepare my breakfast and played some music. I was about to finish plating my Nutella waffle and crispy bacon when my phone rang. I put it on a loudspeaker when I answered. "Yes--"
"Uwahhh!" A pitched wail almost broke my eardrum so a turned the volume down. "Arden! He broke up with me! That fucker cheated on me and broke up with me!"
With a deep sigh, I brought my breakfast to my room with Tyler screaming in my ears. I wonder from time to time why I kept on being friends with him. He's loud and he has a personal mission to damage my eardrums.
"Because of your trust issues, stupid Arden!" Tyler wailed again and I had to pull the phone away from my ears if I want to hear the laughter and cries of my future kid, or kids, depending on my luck.
"Did I think out loud?" I sat on my bed and reached for my tv remote, then placed my food tray on the nearby coffee table. It would be better to eat there instead of here in my bed. I tend to get clumsy so eating at the table is a safe option.
"Are you listening to me, Arden?! Your best friend is in pain! Pay attention to me." Tyler is a friend that I sometimes want to throw away but I can't help but take pity and just endure his quirks and weirdness. It's like an old cardigan that you want to burn because it has served its purpose but you find yourself putting it back in the closet.
I have known Tyler Banks since high school and even if we have this kind of inevitable friendship, he's a good company, especially when I need him. Also, my trust issues are stopping me from creating new friends. What if they stab me in the back? I can't take that chance.
It was Tyler's persistence that won me over and he proved to me that he won't betray me by signing a contract. If he does, I'll burn all of his prized collections. It is stipulated in the contract that we signed and notarized by River's lawyer. "Why don't you just hack your ex's social media and air his dirty laundry? Problem solved."
His sobs stopped and I heard soft sniffles. "You're right. That fucking, cheating scum. He won't know what hit him. Thank you, best friend."
"Hmm. You owe me one, Tyler."
He groaned. "Why?"
"Cause of my suggestion." That was a shitty argument but who cares?
"But--"
"Ah-ah. No buts. See you." Tyler is working in a famous IT company and when it comes to people who offend me, I ask Tyler for help. In return, I indulge him by joining him in his Comic-Con adventures and cosplaying with him. I am a very supportive and kind friend when necessary. It's a give-and-take relationship.
Now that Tyler is out of the way, it's time to binge on a Netflix series that I have discovered. However, my eyes were fixed on the widescreen and I threw my previous plans away when I caught a glimpse of an interview on the morning news.
Anchorwoman: The rise of Il Volo Group of Companies is very impressive. As the CEO, do you have any plans of expanding to other Asian countries?
Il Volo? What's that? Are they that famous? My breath was caught in my throat when the camera shifted to their guest; a very attractive guest. Jet-black hair brushed back, steel-gray eyes, chiseled face, aristocratic nose, and oh-la-la... broad shoulders and a body that would rival any Greek god. His black suit and wine-red tie are not enough to contain the man's sex appeal. He's drop-dead gorgeous and I could feel my belly tingling with unfamiliar feelings.
"What's his name? Mariano Il Volo? I'll keep that in mind."
Mariano: That's a possibility.
Oh, fuck. It's a sin to have that kind of voice. It's baritone yet melodious. I could imagine hearing that voice all day. It's very soothing yet there's a hint of danger to it. I rolled my eyes when the anchorwoman blushed. It's understandable; I would faint if I see him in person.
Anchorwoman: Many are curious; is the elusive Il Volo bachelor seeing someone right now?
"Many? I think you're the one who wants to know, lady. I can see hearts in your eyes. Psh. Stop ogling him." I reached for my waffles and stuffed them into my mouth while glaring at the anchorwoman who keeps on making cute faces. Come on, be professional. He won't fall for your charms, I hope. I have high hopes for you, Mr. Il Volo. Do not disappoint me.
Mariano: I don't do commitments. They deserve someone who will love them wholeheartedly so if they come to me in hopes of starting a relationship, I'm telling you right now: it's futile.
My heart almost stopped when he looked straight into the camera. A smile stretched on my lips and I swallowed my food before squealing in joy. "I finally found my perfect sperm donor!"
Mariano Il Volo is the perfect candidate. His genes are superb and if my future kid inherits all of his features, including his voice, assuming that I'll have a boy, that's like winning the lottery. If I have a girl, she's going to be so gorgeous. This is better than going to the sperm bank. Also, there would be no complications since I won't ask him to take responsibility. This is also favorable for him since he doesn't do commitments.
My problem now is how to get him to agree to my deal. I don't think River would agree with my plan so I'll keep it a secret for now. Wait for me, Mr. Il Volo. I will have you impregnate me. Okay, that sounded slutty but that's my goal anyway; to have kids.
"Tyler... looks like I'm going to ask for the favor you owe me." With an evil smirk on my face, I took one last glance at his face before switching to Netflix. Today is a good day.
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