I should run. 

Natsu could smell the static in the air, the kind that told him it was Havik’s celestial magic. He may not be able to sense it, but smelling the elements was something he could do. His heart leapt in his throat; Havik was the wild card. He could be either friend or foe, and right now Natsu really didn’t want to find out which one he was. He was too concerned about the god with the erratic demon energy in front of him.

Yes, he’d experienced it before, and he had definitely helped Toji to gain some control over it, but it was still highly unpredictable and scary.

I really, really should run.

His instincts were screaming at him to get away but he remained rooted to the ground, his feet in a fighting stance, his fists up in front of him, throwing knives securely held in his palms, blades out. His mind raced, searching for every possible solution to get him out of this situation, to survive. He knew, believed Toji wouldn’t really hurt him. 

But those black and white tendrils that waved and spiraled around him, the way the energy danced over his body and through his hands like electricity, and the way his eyes had become blank and unseeing, all of it gave him pause. Natsu kept telling himself that Toji might not hurt him, but Toji also had very little control over his powers, especially when he was in a heightened emotional state, presenting Natsu with some room for doubt.

Natsu was thankful Toji was relatively calm, focused solely on the exercise at hand. 

Okay, idiot, if you’re not going to run, then you’d better fight. Move! Now! 

Without another thought, Natsu dashed toward Toji, just as Toji flung out his arm, a black energy whip snaking out toward him. Natsu dodged past it, spinning around, knives raised and poised to strike. He aimed for Toji’s throat but he was stopped by a sudden energy shield that appeared, coating the god’s entire body. 

“Well, fuck me blind,” Natsu muttered out loud. He jumped back, ducking as another whip came at him. In the next breath, he was rolling to the side as a blade of white energy swiped at him. He barely missed getting nicked before a burst of energy threw him off his feet and he was flung backward. With a grunt, he landed hard against a tree, falling forward on his hands and knees. He coughed, trying to reclaim the breath that was knocked out of him.

Toji advanced on him, clouds of dark energy coalescing into orbs above his shoulders. He reached up into one, pulling out a sword with a black blade and a white pummel. Natsu’s eyes went wide and his stomach clenched.

Oh shit! 

Toji swung the sword around his head and down, Natsu barely having enough time to think before falling to the side, rolling to his knees and hopping back to his feet, staggering back slightly to regain his balance.

“Toji,” he said, all the fun gone from his voice. “Toji, it’s a draw, you need to stop.”

Toji didn’t hear him. He was too lost, the power consuming his mind.

Natsu looked around him quickly, trying to determine where everyone else was. He couldn’t hear anything, wondering if all their fights were over, too. If so, they were already heading down the mountain, far away from them.

Shit!

His eyes landed on the escrima stick laying nearby. He lunged for it just as Toji slashed at him again. He rolled, grabbing the stick and getting it above his head with both hands before the blade came down on him. His eyes went wide with fear. 

“Toji!” he yelled. “Stop!” He pushed up with the stick, pushing Toji back. He arched the stick down, clashing with the blade. He kept up his frenzied attacks, driving Toji back, still painfully aware of the clouds and flames of dark energy that lapped at his feet. If he didn’t do something soon, he would be swallowed up in it along with Toji.

He felt a sharp tug as a black whip wrapped around his wrist, yanking him back. Toji tossed the sword aside, Natsu watching as it faded into black mist. He reached up into another orb, pulling out what could easily have been a taser. Natsu’s heart thudded against his chest. He had to stop this…and now.

How?! How do I reach you!? “Toji, come back to me, dammit!” he cried out loud, not caring in that moment if anyone heard. He managed to dodge out of the way as Toji moved the taser toward his side.

“Toji, please!” Natsu was desperate. Toji couldn’t hear him and no one was around to help him. Tears filled his eyes as helplessness overcame him. “Toji, stop…” he pleaded. 

Without thinking, he leapt at him, wrapping his arms around Toji’s neck and kissing him hard on the mouth.

Toji froze, his eyes wide. He dropped the taser and the energy began to relax, pulling back into his core. As the fog in his mind began to fade, panic set in. It’s just the energy…nothing else happened, right? He mentally scanned his body, sensing no changes. He relaxed, his arms going around Natsu as his core began to settle within him. Nothing else happened…I used the wrong energy, that’s all…I wasn’t emotional…nothing else happened…but I still scared him…dammit I almost hurt him! He kissed Natsu back, closing his eyes as he deepened the kiss, his tongue pushing into Natsu’s mouth.

Natsu let out a small strangled sob as he clung to Toji, his own tongue battling against Toji’s, his hands going into his hair as Toji’s hands found their way under his jacket, his fingertips pressing hard into Natsu’s skin.

“I’m sorry,” he breathed, his voice ragged. “Dammit, Natsu, I’m so sorry.” His lips moved from Natsu’s mouth down his chin, to his neck, where he licked the hollow between it and his shoulder. Natsu leaned his head back and moaned softly.

“You bastard,” he choked out. “You scared the shit out of me.”

“I know, I scared me, too,” Toji said, tugging at Natsu’s collar, exposing his shoulder. His teeth grazed Natsu’s skin, kissing at the tiny amount of blood he drew, wanting more but holding himself back. He couldn’t take from Natsu, not now, not after this. “I’m so fucking sorry.” His knees gave out and he sank to the ground, taking Natsu with him.

Natsu wrapped his arms around Toji’s head as Toji held him tightly around the waist, his body shaking with terror at what he had almost done. He knew better, and he still used it anyway. He had always drawn from his positive demon energy, not his dark. Why the hell had he thought it would have been a good idea this time?

Natsu kissed the top of Toji’s head, whispering words of comfort as Toji took in deep, ragged breaths, trying to calm himself down. “It’s okay,” he said. “Baby, I promise, I’m okay. You didn’t hurt me. Look at me.” He put his hands on either side of Toji’s face, dropping down so Toji’s blue and red eyes were level with his own. “I’m fine, see? You didn’t hurt me.”

“But I could have,” Toji said. “Natsu, I could have killed you!”

“Yet you didn’t. I’m still here. Shaken up, maybe, but fine.” He pressed his lips to Toji’s again and again, kissing his cheeks, his eyes, his nose. “Neko, I’m right here. You’re here with me and we’re okay.”

Toji let his head fall back to Natsu’s chest, his breathing coming easier, his heart rate slowing as his body began to finally relax. They stayed that way for several minutes, not daring to move, Toji still at a loss as to what had happened.

“Natsu?” he finally said. 

“Hm?”

“Why didn’t you let me take you down?”

Natsu could have laughed, could have eased the tension right then and there. But Toji wasn’t asking blithely. If Natsu had just stayed down, given up the fight, allowed Toji a win, Toji felt he wouldn’t have had to resort to his powers.

“It had to be a fair fight,” Natsu said gently. “Just letting you win would have annoyed you to no end, you know that.”

Toji nodded against Natsu’s chest. “True.”

“To that end, why didn’t you let me win?” Natsu asked.

Toji snorted softly. “I can’t lose to a human, Tsu,” he said simply, raising his head to smile into Natsu’s eyes. He tucked some of his dark hair behind his ear, his fingers lingering on the side of Natsu’s neck. “I guess it’s a point of pride, stupid as it may sound. Plus, you would have been just as irritated if I gave up.”

Natsu smiled back. “Yeah, that’s true, too.” He extended his arms out over Toji’s shoulders, his forehead touching Toji’s. “Are you okay now?”

Toji nodded. “Yeah, I think so.” He leaned forward, kissing Natsu, his tongue tracing the line of Natsu’s lips. “This isn’t the way I wanted our fight to end, you know.”

“I suspected as much,” Natsu said, biting Toji’s bottom lip gently. “But unfortunately we can’t. Especially not now.”

Toji sighed. “Yeah, if we don’t get back soon, they’ll come looking for us.” He got to his feet, helping Natsu to his. They laced their fingers together and started back, Natsu telling him to stop at the boulder so he could grab the pack he’d left behind.

“I think it goes without saying we can’t tell anyone what happened,” Toji said. 

Natsu nodded. “The last thing we need is for everyone to freak out, especially Ynda and Lukas.”

“No kidding,” Toji muttered. He brought Natsu’s hand to his lips, holding it there as he let his thoughts wander for a minute. “I can’t explain what happened,” he finally said. He looked down at Natsu. “What was it like on your end? Besides terrifying.”

Natsu thought about it for a second before he replied. “You were surrounded by these black and white tendrils, electricity dancing all over you, clouds of smoke just flowing out of you. Some of it even looked like flames.”

“Did those come from my hands?”

Natsu nodded. “I think so, yeah.” He explained everything that had happened during the attack, including the dark orbs and the weapons Toji had pulled from them. Toji frowned.

“What the hell is a taser?”

“You’ve never heard of one?”

Toji shook his head. “Never.”

Natsu was quiet a second. “Maybe the first Toji did.”

Toji almost asked how Natsu knew about him, before he remembered telling him about the weird dreams he had been having a couple years ago. It was after they started dating, but before they got intimate. There were nights they just slept in the same bed together, talking and making out before eventually falling asleep. Toji didn’t have to sleep, but he liked to when he was with Natsu. It was Natsu who had been the first to even suggest the dreams were actually the first Toji’s memories. 

“Maybe,” he said. “Still, I’m surprised I even knew how to make one. I haven’t a clue how those things work. Swords, guns, knives, arrows, all that stuff I can use no problem. But tasers?” He shook his head. 

“What I find amazing is that you can create weapons at all.”

“It’s actually not that surprising,” Toji said with a grin. “A lot of upper rank demons can do it.” He released Natsu’s hand, interlacing his fingers behind his head. Natsu shoved his hands into his jacket pockets. They were almost back to the house. Even the tone of their conversation changed as they walked. “Uncle Nox is able to form weapons out of the air using demon energy.”

“Dark or light?”

“Both. His more powerful ones come from the dark energy, though. Which is strange since Pater’s positive energy was more powerful.”

“Doesn’t seem so strange to me.”

Toji glanced down at him.

“They were two halves of a whole, right? Dark and light. It makes sense they would be stronger with their respective energies.”

“You do have a point there,” Toji nodded. “Still…” he frowned, dropping his arms, his hands going to his jeans pockets. “Knowing all the energy I have is too powerful even for me is unsettling.”

“Is there anyone you can talk to about it?”

Toji shrugged. “Maybe. Finn might have some answers, but I’ll likely have better success with Nox.”