The old abandoned cellar was dark and musty, but Toji and Natsu didn’t care. The blankets Natsu had left there in a hidden trunk were still clean and fresh and that was all that mattered to the two men who had been at it for over an hour, candles flickering on the shelves and floor around them. Toji had told him earlier that Ynda had seen him walk out to the gardens the night before and to be careful this time around. Thankfully there were plenty of hidden passages around the manor where no one would see him leave.

Natsu clung to Toji, sweaty and panting as he moved on Toji’s lap. Toji tried to stay quiet but it was getting more and more difficult the better Natsu felt around him, and the soft whimpers he made in his ear. Even with the barrier in place, he knew he had to be careful. He wasn’t the only Divine who could sense barriers and understand the effects they had on anyone who got too close. If he used them too often, there would be questions. 

Toji dug his fingers into Natsu’s back, biting and sucking on Natsu’s shoulder, being mindful to place the hickeys where they couldn’t be seen. There were still several from the night before that marked his olive skin and Toji had no qualms about adding to them. Natsu had already made his own marks and had demanded they stay for longer this time.

Natsu threw his head back and moved his hips faster as Toji began stroking him, urging him to cum, knowing how close he was to his own climax. A few more thrusts and rocks from Natsu’s ass, and they both cried out as they came together. Their bodies spasming and shaking, they held on for a few moments longer, their mouths finding each other, kissing slowly, Toji holding Natsu’s head.

Finally coming up for air, Toji gazed into Natsu’s bright green eyes, the candle light flickering and bringing out the few gold specks that dwelled within them. He smiled.

“What?” Natsu smiled, his eyes dancing over Toji’s face.

Toji brushed a few strands of his loose black hair behind his ear. “You’re eyes,” he said. “They look like jewels. Beautiful and priceless.”

Natsu giggled and shook his head. “You’re so corny.”

Toji matched his smile. “So? Want me to stop?”

“Oh, hell, no, I still like it.” He kissed Toji’s nose. “It makes me feel special.”

“You are special,” Toji said. “To me, at least. Everyone else can fuck off.”

Natsu kissed each of Toji’s eyes. “I like your eyes better. One ruby, one sapphire.”

Toji groaned. “Ynda used to tease me about them.”

“She did?”

“Mhm, when we were kids, before Havik was born. I love my eyes, I think they’re cool, but she made me feel self-conscious about them for a long time. My dad put a stop to it after he found me trying to use magic to change them both brown or something.”

Natsu’s eyes went wide. “That sounds incredibly dangerous.”

Toji nodded. “It was. Dad said I could have made myself go blind. He was so mad at Ynda.” His head lowered to Natsu’s chest and he held him tight, holding his wrists. He didn’t say anything, just sought comfort in Natsu’s arms as he slipped from within him. Natsu moaned and inhaled sharply through his nose. Toji giggled once but didn’t move. 

Natsu kissed the top of his head, playing with his bright red hair. He tilted his head so his cheek was resting where he had kissed, taking a deep breath of Toji’s shampoo. They had both made sure to shower before they met up. In that moment, the one thing he hated thinking about, the one thing he tried to ignore and forget intruded on his mind. He sighed and dug his fingers deeper into Toji’s hair.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, those two words heavy with meaning. 

Toji stiffened in his arms. “I told you it wasn’t your fault.”

“I know you did, but I still feel guilty.”

Toji raised his head, capturing his eyes once again. “You didn’t do anything wrong, Tsu. Ava was pissed off and she wanted to hurt me, that’s all. She never should have put your name in her mouth to begin with.”

“I could have gotten you in even more trouble if your dad thought there was more going on than what she said, though.”

“I can take whatever he dished out,” Toji said firmly. “It’s you I was more worried about. I have no regrets about what we’ve become and I never will. My dad can take his hypocritical judgments and shove it for all I care. He can think whatever he wants about me, I won’t let him blame you for anything.”

Natsu’s eyes shone and he gulped back tears. 

“Baby, listen to me,” Toji said, gently, putting his hand on the side of Natsu’s neck. “You didn’t steal me away, you didn’t force me to break up with her, and you never made me feel the way I do just for kicks. I fell for you because I wanted to. I did all that on my own. Plus, my feelings for you started way before the fucking engagement even happened.”

Natsu averted his gaze. “That hurt me,” he said. “I really believed you were going to go through with it.”

Toji blinked. “Seriously?”

“It was a political thing, and it wouldn’t have meant anything outside of that, but still. I felt like I was going to lose you and I couldn’t bear it.”

“I feel like we’ve had this conversation before.”

“We did, but with different words and a lot more hurt and anger.”

“That was what…eighteen months ago?”

Natsu nodded, still not wanting to meet his gaze. “I didn’t beg you to stay until you came back that summer and I knew for sure you were still mine.”

Toji was dumbfounded. “I can’t believe you would think…” he swallowed, letting Natsu slide off his lap, running his hands through his hair. “Natsu, you’re the only one I want in this entire universe. I thought you knew that. I was forced into that engagement. I fought tooth and nail to get out of it but neither my parents nor hers would listen. I never did anything to make her believe I cared for her, even after she told me she loved me.”

Natsu flinched.

“I was completely indifferent to her the entire time we were engaged. We made appearances, but I never once smiled or looked like I wanted to be a part of it. I wanted you, just you.” He sighed, pulling one of the blankets over his lap and leaned back on his hands, his head turning to the side as he glanced around the room. “Do you have any idea how miserable I was that entire time? How many times I tried to run off and get back here to be with you? And you want to sit there and tell me you thought I would actually marry her?”

Natsu took the other end of the blanket, drawing it up to his chest. He looked up at him, tears starting to run silently down his cheeks. He had known better than to ever believe Toji would cast him aside, or make him even more of a secret. Toji had far more respect for him than that and he knew it. Had known it for years. But he had still let his doubts and fears consume him for months, had believed the gossip that had gone around the manor regarding the engagement. 

The last time Toji was here…when Toji called off the engagement, announcing it to everyone at Helman Hall the very next morning, and everything that had happened to Toji after that, especially after they had all returned to the Veil, Natsu blamed himself. He had always known the whole thing was a charade, but it had still hurt. He had begged Toji to stay, to say the words, to admit the truth to his fathers. But Toji couldn’t let anything happen to Natsu. He wasn’t about to let Hero throw him out or do anything worse to Natsu.

“Toji…” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “I was scared…I knew in my heart what the truth was, but my mind…” he gulped. “With what everyone was saying, I let it all get to me. When you came back in the summer, and the way you kissed me that first day, I knew I was fooling myself for no reason. I selfishly made you promise not to be with anyone else because my stupid jealousy got in the way.”

“I made you promise the same thing, Tsu,” Toji said. After a beat, he added, “For the same exact reason.”

“What did you have to be jealous of?” Natsu said, startled. 

“Everyone.”

Natsu wanted to laugh but choked it down, biting his lip to stop the grin that was forcing its way out. “That…is incredibly stupid.”

Toji’s eyes slid over to him.

“You realize that, right? You really think I’d do all of this, risk all of this just to have some fling with someone else in the manor?”

Toji looked away again, his face warming up. “I’ve never doubted your loyalty, Tsu. It’s them I don’t trust. What if someone flirted with you, tried to hit on you while I was gone? It’s not like you could tell them I was your boyfriend. The backlash would have been insane.”

Natsu rolled his eyes. “Even if anyone did, I didn’t notice or didn’t care. I brushed them all off. In fact, there was a thing going around that I was closed off and unapproachable. Someone even said I was cold and indifferent.”

Toji turned back to him, a grin on his face. “That’s bullshit, you’re the warmest person I know.”

“They don’t see it that way,” Natsu said, finally allowing the grin to take over. He wiped away his tears and reached out for him. Toji took his hands, their fingers lacing together. “We’re both stupid when it comes to each other, aren’t we?”

Toji chuckled. “Incredibly.” He sobered, kissing him gently. “I’m insane for you, Natsu Kanaki. The lengths I’ll go for you, the amount of risks I’m willing to take just to be with you are no joke.” He sighed. “I wish I could do so much more right now. To say the words you deserve to hear, take you anywhere you want to go, even to the Veil if I could. I don’t care what my dad thinks about you, I don’t care if everyone gives me shit for the rest of my life for liking you.”

“So why not just do it? Why not just admit it all to everyone?”

“Because I’m not willing to risk losing you forever. You have no clue what my dad would do to you if he knew about us. Banishing you from Helman Hall would just be the beginning. He would make it so I really wouldn’t ever see you again. Worse…” he swallowed. “He’d send Charlotte after you.”

Natsu sat up straight. “What?”

“She’d erase your memory of me completely.”

Natsu blinked, shaking his head. “I didn’t…I mean, how could…she wouldn’t though, would she? She wouldn’t do that to you!”

“She’d do whatever Dad told her to do. She might be a Queen of Hell, but she still serves my fathers.”

Natsu sat back, finally understanding the full weight of what they were doing. Toji didn’t hide anything from him, only telling him what he needed to know when he needed to know it, it didn’t matter how difficult it was to hear or not. He had always known they were doing something forbidden, but the level of risk they were taking had never really truly sunk in until now. 

He pulled Toji toward him, laying back, leading Toji to hover over him. He wrapped his arms around his neck and stared deeply into his boyfriend’s eyes. Those beautifully mismatched jewels he adored. 

“You’re mine,” he said with such conviction Toji’s heart skipped. “No one in any Realm, either here or the Divine, will change that. I won’t allow anyone or anything to take you from me.” He swallowed, realizing his next words were dangerous to even think. “By the end of the summer, before you leave, I want to be known.”

Toji’s eyes went wide. “Tsu, I—”

“You will say the words,” Natsu said. “And you will either take me with you, or you’ll stay with me here.”

Toji stared down at him, seeing the determination in his eyes. What he was demanding was probably the most dangerous order he had ever received, but he knew he couldn’t keep Natsu a secret forever; he never wanted to in the first place. He wanted to comply, to say those words, the words that would change so much about them and their world.

“You have to say them, too,” he said. “That’s the deal.”

Natsu smiled. “Deal.” He turned his head, lowering Toji’s down to meet his lips, parting them with his tongue. A thought occurred to them and he pulled away quickly. Toji stared down at him confused. “One last thing. And I swear if you don’t, I will do it for you, I don’t give a shit what happens after.”

He raised himself on one elbow, Toji moving back slightly. 

“Kiss me in front of them.”

“I have…”

Natsu shook his head. “Not surreptitiously. I mean blatantly.”

Toji stared. “Tsu…”

“Toji, I’m serious. If anyone can keep us a secret and not judge it’s—”

“That’s not what I’m worried about,” Toji broke in. 

“Then what?” Natsu frowned.

“Our link. It won’t be hard at all for Ynda or Havik to leave a path open to my fathers. Havik’s the one who doesn’t have total grasp over it yet. It took me and Ynda years to figure it all out. How I can keep so much to myself is something I had to work on for a very long time, as well.”

Natsu hadn’t thought about that. “Oh,” he said softly. 

Toji leaned forward, his hair tickling Natsu’s nose. “I’m not saying no, baby,” he said gently. “Just, not yet, okay? I want more than anything for us to be out to everyone in the group, at the least. Because you’re right, if anyone’s going to be accepting, it’ll be them.”

“Even Ava?”

Toji’s eyes went dark for a moment. “After what she said? What she did? She didn’t just hurt me, she hurt my whole family. She’ll keep her trap shut whether she likes it or not.”

“That’s harsh.”

“I don’t give two shits if it is or not. You’re mine. I’m proud to be with you and I’m not ashamed of it. I want us to be out, I want to show you off, I want it all.” He kissed him softly. “But I want to do it right. I want you to be safe from my dad’s wrath.” He put a hand on Natsu’s cheek. “By the end of summer, just like you said. By then, everyone will know. I swear it.”

Natsu nodded. “Okay.”

“Please, baby,” Toji whispered, his lips hovering over Natsu’s, his breath hot and growing ragged. “Please wait a little longer.” His tongue reached out, caressing Natsu’s lips, parting them to go in deeper.

Natsu slowly lay back, his leg rising against Toji's hip. As they slowly made love one more time, Natsu let Toji know with his mouth, his body, and with his sounds, that he would wait as long as he needed to.

-*-