[MENTIONS OF PHYSICAL ABUSE. SKIP IF UNCOMFORTABLE. DO NOT REPORT.]
Penthouse, bedroom
Six in the evening
"Baby, what else do you need, hmm? As per your request, I already downloaded all of the seasons of Modern Family. I also made you a chocolate milkshake and I have here your all-meat pizza," Trevor said with a smile and placed all of the food on the nearby table and navigated through the home theater to play the first episode of the series.
Basically, Trevor is being my errand boy today. After finding out that he's the reason why I hate the sight of blood, I gave him the cold shoulder. Still, his persistence won so I told him that I would forgive him if he did everything I ask for.
With a deep sigh, I removed the pillow from my lap and for the first time since earlier, I looked at him. His expression lit up and a sense of relief crossed his face.
Honestly, I was more concerned for him than angry. I am more worried about the scars on his body, rather than mad at the fact that he's the reason why I didn't like to see blood. It pissed me off that he was not taking care of himself, and uses the excuse that he's used to it.
I patted the space beside me, and he did not hesitate to sit down. "You know, my fear of blood is not that serious. It's just that... seeing you bleed profusely like that was too much of a shock for me that I don't want to see blood for the next few months. However, now that I have put a face on the person from my memory, I'm starting to get scared, Trevor."
"Baby..." Trevor cupped my face and stroked my cheeks tenderly. He looked straight into my eyes, his expression was soft and worried. "What are you afraid of, Jesse? I'll make it better."
"I don't think so," I replied in a sad tone and exhaled sharply. Trevor said that he's used to it. He's used to getting hurt. Can I really make such a selfish and impossible request?
"Come on, Jesse. I promise to--"
"No. Don't make promises you can't keep, Trevor. Just take care of yourself and I will be fine. Stay out of trouble as much as you can, but if you can't... just don't die on me."
"Jesse..."
I removed his hands from my face and moved away from him. "You said that you're used to it. You're used to the pain; your scars are a testament to that, but I'm not, Trevor. Getting used to the pain doesn't make it less painful; it just means that you're building your pain tolerance, and I don't know how to react to that."
"If we're going to be in this relationship and stay committed to it, I just want to put it out there that you can't expect me to get used to seeing you bleeding and in pain. I don't think that I will..." I inhaled sharply and blinked away the unshed tears. I don't want to wake up one day without him by my side.
It's such a selfish request, so I won't say it. As long as he stays well, I can live with that.
Trevor took a deep breath and brushed his hair back. "You're right. With my way of living, injuries, wounds, and blood are unavoidable. You don't even know the real me, yet somehow, I have a feeling that you do."
I bit my lower lip and slowly nodded. "I'm still not sure, but I have an idea."
He smiled and reached for my hand. "I promise to explain everything tomorrow. Not me, per se. Someone will come here, and he will be the one to do the explaining."
Trevor sighed again and gestured me to come closer, and I obeyed without any hesitation. He had me sit on his lap, his hands on my waist. "Baby... what is it that you really want? I will do my best to fulfill it."
"But... it's so selfish, Trev. If you are truly what I assume to be, then danger is a part of your life. I can't just swoop in and tell you not to do this and that."
He smiled and cupped my neck gently. "Jesse, you getting worried over me makes me happy. I can't promise that I won't be unscathed every single time, but if I do, I assure you that I will come home to you in one piece and only a mere scratch. Is that enough, baby? Hmm?"
I bit my lip and nodded, then buried my face on his neck. "I will be the one to kill you if you come home with a single bruise, Trevor. I'm not kidding."
He chuckled a rubbed my back soothingly. "I know baby. But I'm still amazed that you're taking this in a stride," he referred to my placid reaction to his true identity.
"Let it be. I'll be dramatic tomorrow, where everything will sink in. For now, let's relax as if I won't be meeting your clan in three days," I added sarcastically and groaned.
"Don't worry, Jesse. They'll love you," Trevor said with confidence, and I have no choice but to believe that. I am lovable, so I'm not exactly worried about that. "By the way, you still haven't told me the reason why you're running away last night."
My shoulders tensed and I could feel the cold sweat pooling in my palms and back. I slowly pulled away from his embrace and gulped hard at his curious stare.
My eyes darted around, looking for an escape when Trevor caught on to what I was about to do and wrapped his strong arms around my waist. "Um... can we perhaps move on and not exactly do that?"
I have a strong feeling that Trevor will not like the reason why I ran away and cried.
"Jesse..." Trevor's tone left no room for discussion. It's either I'll tell him, or something will happen.
I scratched my brow out of frustration and heaved a deep sigh. "You have to promise me that you won't get angry."
His brow arched and his jaw clenched. "That only gave me the opposite effect, Jesse. Which means that I won't like what I'm about to hear."
"See? That's the reason why I'm hesitant to tell you. Although, it's kind of unfair for me to ask you not to get mad," I said in a defeated tone and let out a small smile.
It just pissed me off that my parents also have the capability to affect me by making Trevor angry. From the few hours that we spent together, I have figured out that when it comes to me, Trevor is uncontrollable. He did not hide it exactly.
He gets mad for me. He cares for me. He spoils me.
I just don't want him to get involved, because I have a feeling that he has too much on his plate. That's an impossible wish; the moment he stepped into my world, he was already caught up by the chaos that is me.
"Did you remember what I told you earlier? That my parents punish me every time I make a mistake?"
Trevor nodded and tightened his hold on me. "Crystal clear, baby," he gritted out, his amber eyes hiding the fuming rage he's feeling.
"My parents... they knew everything. They have eyes and ears on every corner, so one slip-up, and they'll know." I don't want to let Trevor know the part where my parents punish me just to make an example out of me.
"Go on, baby. I'm here. I'm all ears," Trevor whispered and gently squeezed my nape, his now soft gaze fixed on me.
I swallowed hard and nodded, a bit relieved that Trevor is with me through all of this. "Yesterday, I almost aced the hardest exam our professor gave."
"Almost?"
I hummed. "I got two mistakes."
Trevor grinned and patted my left thigh. "That's great! What's the problem, then? You don't look too happy-- oh fuck," he cursed out loud when the realization finally dawned on him. Trevor immediately examined my body for fresh injuries and bruises, making sure that every inch of my skin was checked.
The air around him became tense, his expression tight, with his jaw clenched. I could feel his anger and frustration. His expression was dark, and his eyes were filled with rage, the exact opposite of how gentle he handled my body.
"Trevor..." It seemed that he did not hear me because he ripped my shirt, surprising the hell out of me, as he continued to scan the expanse of my skin. I did not stop him if it meant that I could assure him that I was fine.
"Turn around, Jesse," he ordered in a gruff tone, making me swallow nervously. That would be a bad idea. I tried my hardest not to expose my back to him, because I don't want him to lose it.
"Trev... I'm fine. No injuries. I'm okay--"
"Turn around and let me see your back." I gritted my teeth and took a deep breath, because I know I wouldn't win this argument. Trevor is very determined and persistent; when he's like this, it's better to surrender.
"Fine." I turned around and showed him my back with bated breath. Truthfully, I haven't seen how much damage my father did to my back, but I have a feeling that it's full of scars. You can't expect anything less from such cruel parents.
"H-How bad is it?" I managed to squeak breathlessly because Trevor has not said a word since then, but I could feel his burning stare on my back. "Trevor? You're scaring me... what is it?" I let out a small yelp when I felt something warm on my back, only to find out that it was Trevor's lips.
His lips were light as a feather, afraid that he might hurt me if he got a little rough. I could feel my throat constrict and my eyes stinging from unshed tears. Such gentleness was a foreign sensation to me; until I met Trevor. I tried to choke my sobs and bit my lower lip until it bled, but it's just so overwhelming.
Being treated like you're the most fragile gem on earth; the feeling is indescribable.
"You are beautiful," he punctuated each word and pressed his lip on the middle of my back. "Every part of you is stunning, and I wouldn't change a thing," he stressed and placed butterfly kisses all over.
"You are beyond perfection, and I am such a lucky son of a bitch to have you, Jesse Anderson. You are priceless and perfect. No person would say otherwise without offering their life."
Trevor pulled me closer and kissed my nape while I cried so hard; the hardest in my life. When my parents ridiculed me, I did not shed a tear. When Dad flogged me and left me to tend to my wounds, I just gritted my teeth and bared it.
Piece by piece and emotion after emotion were bottled and suppressed. I just thought that it would be useless to complain because no one would help me anyway. The thing about bottling your emotions is that it should never be done. It slowly eats you, the negativity gradually corrupts you, and the more you hold onto it, the more your humanity fades away.
For so many years, anger and resentment were buried deep into my soul, and now that it's coming out in the open, I have no idea how to deal with it.
It's so scary as if I was being pulled into a dark abyss with no way out. I'm trembling in fear, unsure of how to reach the surface with all of these negative emotions dragging me down, asphyxiating me. Help me--
"I'm here, baby. I'm here. I won't leave you, so let it out. You will never be alone again. You can let go now," Trevor whispered in my ears and I let go. It was a cry full of pain, anger, sorrow, and self-pity. It was a cry for freedom.
"I d-don't want to go back there, Trev. They will force me to marry some girl I didn't know and..." The emotions were overflowing and I couldn't form any coherent words.
"Shh, my baby. It's okay. I'll take care of it. Leave everything to me. You don't have to worry about anything."
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