I finished my bath, and with a white robe on, stepped out of the bathroom, without Trevor in our bedroom. With a shake of my head, I went to the adjacent dressing room and picked out a simple cotton shirt and a graphic shirt. I like comfortable clothes, especially when I'm at home.
Wow. I considered Trevor's unit as my home. How ironic it is that I never considered our house back there as a home. "Home is where the heart is. How fitting."
When I got out of the dressing room, my heart almost leaped out of my throat when I saw Trevor sitting on the foot of the bed, cross-legged.
"I think you'll kill me before I get the chance to murder you," I snapped and clutched my chest, still startled.
"Baby..." He whined and looked at me like a lost puppy.
"No, Trevor. You won't get to touch me until you answer all of my questions," I said with finality and reached for the comb on top of the dresser, and sat on the opposite end of the bed.
Trevor sighed and turned to me, his eyes transfixed on my legs. "Trev..."
"Baby! You're torturing me. Why did you have to expose your creamy legs?" With a deep frown, Trevor clenched his jaw, his expression so tense.
"Why is it my fault? I like comfy clothes. Also, I'm not the one to blame. You're the one who chose and bought my clothes, pervert." I lifted my brow curiously, waiting for his answer, but he just released a defeated sigh, and with a shake of his head, smiled at me.
"I'm falling more and more, baby." His soft gaze and warm smile did me in, so I wasted no time crawling over to him and engulfed him in a tight hug, his arms wrapping around my waist for support.
"Stop being so sweet when I'm trying to be mad at you, you jerk. You have so many things you need to tell me, Trev. You better start before I freak out again," I warned him with a soft groan and rested my head on his broad shoulder.
He chuckled softly and rubbed my back comfortingly, then kissed the top of my head. "Baby, it's not my fault if I'm too charming to handle," he replied in a smug tone but cursed out loud when I pinched his side. "Baby!"
I leaned back and offered him my most beautiful and innocent smile. "Yes?"
Trevor blinked, mouth agape then scratched his nape with a sigh. "You win."
With a soft giggle, I leaned in and pressed my lips on him, but brief enough to not let him deepen it. "I won, Trev. Now, talk." I don't know when it started but it has become our silly contest to tease each other until one admits defeat, and so far... I'm on a winning streak.
Trevor smiled a little and combed my hair with his fingers. "Where do you want to start? The mafia?"
Sudden nervous energy filled my heart, now that the reality is finally sinking in. "I'm scared, Trev. No, not of you," I immediately added when a sudden flash of hurt filled his eyes.
"What are you scared of, then?" Trevor held my hand and kissed each finger tenderly; a very sweet and touching gesture that got me choking up a sob. I don't think that his actions are planned; he's just a natural.
"I'm... I'm scared that... I'm never going to be enough for you," I whispered the last words in a shaky tone, afraid of his reactions. "You're so important to me that I feel so insecure. I don't want you to leave me, Trevor. You're all I have, and you're too good to be true. Sometimes, I get scared that the moment I wake up, you're gone and I will be left alone again. I can't bring myself to fully depend on you because what will happen to me if you decided that I'm no good anymore? I'm so very afraid, Trevor. You're so high up, and I'm just at the bottom... looking up at you, hoping that you will notice me."
I decided to pour all of my insecurities out. I wanted to let him know all of my doubts and fears, as a heads-up. Just in case he decided that I'm not good enough for him. I want to hear his thoughts because these insecurities kept me up at night.
"Were you thinking about this the whole time we're together?" I nodded slowly, my eyes fixed on my fingers gripping the hem of my shirt anxiously. "Since when?"
"Since the day we met. You give off the vibe of someone unreachable, and I'm still baffled that you even gave me any attention. We're living in two different worlds, and the reason why we managed to collide was because you reached out to me first. What if... you let go of me?"
It was something I never wanted to voice out because I don't want to make him feel that I don't believe his words, but this deep-seated insecurity stems from having an unhappy home and unsafe environment.
"Jesse, look at me." I was expecting his tone to be frustrated and angry, but there's none of that, and I want to burst into tears for being treated so gently after being so distrustful.
"Are you mad at me? Because even after all this time, I can't bring to fully trust you?" I asked with a soft sniffle. I will understand if he said yes.
"I kind of got that impression." I instantly lifted my head and was met by Trevor's soft gaze and warm smile. "I know how to read people, Jesse. From the time that we were together, you have your guards up. I admit that I was glad that you are starting to let me in, but your fears are valid. From what you told me about your situation at home, I summed up that there is emotional baggage that you are still carrying on your shoulders."
Trevor dipped his head and kissed the tip of my nose. "Honestly, you don't have to be so worried and stop underestimating yourself. You are amazing. Instead of getting scared of me, a mafia boss, you were worried that you'll never be enough for me. You just made me feel so grateful that I found someone so brave and awesome like you. You are perfect for me, Jesse. I was so used to getting feared, but with you, I feel normal. Being with you is a breath of fresh air. You brought out the side of me that I have never once shown to my family... a side that only my closest friends have taken a short glimpse of. Don't sell yourself short. The person I love is the most amazing in this world."
Just like that, I felt that the world stopped spinning, my heart sputtered from shock, and breathlessly stared at Trevor. It was one of the moments where I was caught off-guard and rendered speechless. Trevor's lips tugged for a slight smirk and caressed my cheeks.
"I love you, Jesse Anderson. You might find it unbelievable now, but I hope you'll stay with me even after I proved to you how my world revolves around you. Only you. I am incorrigibly in love with you, my Jesse." Trevor's amber eyes glistened, the rawest emotion etched on his face.
I tried to open my mouth to vocalize an answer--any answer; but broken sobs bubbled out of my throat. What made it worst was the fact that Trevor was trembling all along, as he did his best to make it through his confession.
"I..." I shook my head, unsure of what to say. My mind is still reeling from the big revelation, still trying to catch up with everything that has happened. I don't even know how to react.
"You don't have to answer, baby. I'll wait. When you're ready, I will lend you my ears. I'm always here, Jesse," he added sweetly which got my eyes flowing like waterfalls.
"You stupid Trev!" I cried out and buried my face on his chest, while he laughed so hard; and I think it's one of my favorite sounds now-- Trevor's laughter, that is.
****
Finally calming down from such an emotional scene, Trevor invited me for a drink on the balcony. He brought out his best wine and some treats Jin delivered a second ago. It turned out that Jin was currently staying on the floor below ours.
The balcony was spacious for four people. There were plush couches arranged, warm overhead lights giving off a cozy vibe, and several ornamental plants decorated the area. The bright, full moon and the clear night sky made the atmosphere even better.
"Julian already told you about the basics of the family, right?" I nodded and took a sip of my red wine, careful not to moan out loud at the delectable taste.
"Usually, the heir assumes his position at twenty-five, but it's not the case for me," Trevor began, catching my interest. I placed the wine glass on the table and gave him all of my attention.
I had to pinch myself not to swoon at his disheveled form, with his messy hair and his open shirt billowing from the cold breeze, exposing the lion tattoo on his chest; the Morelli's family emblem.
"I already assumed the position as the head of the family five years ago."
"When you were twenty?" Trevor nodded and I can't help but be amazed. "Why?"
"It was a strategic decision. Julian mentioned about the engagement, right?" I had to wrap my arms around my body to brace from the incoming revelation.
"It has been a tradition that the successor of the family should be able to find his beloved before his succession ceremony. After all, that's when the heir will introduce their fiance or fiancee. Sort of an engagement party," Trevor explain and looked at me, waiting for my reaction, until my eyes went wide when realization dawned upon me.
"Don't tell me... it's in two days? The engagement party slash your succession ceremony?" I exclaimed and got up from my seat; shocked.
"Baby, calm down. It's not--"
"Trevor! How am I suppose to calm down when you spring this up to me at the last minute?!" My mind began to spiral as I began to conjure different scenarios with me being driven away because Trevor's family don't approve of me.
"You didn't even give me a chance to make a good impression, you jerk! I am lovable, but that specific trait takes hours to build up. Why the fuck are you laughing?" I spat angrily when I noticed Trevor stifling his laughter, but his shaking shoulders betrayed him.
With a frustrated grunt, I sat back down and rubbed my face in irritation. My eyes landed on the bottle of wine and my hands automatically reached for it, and in no time, I was downing the whole bottle with Trevor staring at me with wide eyes and gaping mouth.
"You brought this on, Alessio Morelli. One drink Jesse is super awesome, but one-bottle-drunk Jesse? Let's find out." I gulped the whole bottle until my mind went hazy and all inhibitions were thrown out of the window.
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