It accused to me she had seen more of my country then I had and even court “has my brother grown any more or is he still of small stature?”

“no haha even with him on the great thrown above me I could tell I’m taller than him. why such a big thrown for such a small man?” she smirked a little.

“oh I wouldn’t know I have only seen him once and have never been to the capital though, I suspect I was born there hmmm?”

we talked and worked both in our own ways working to keep her from feeling caged at lunch we both took our trays to the side laid out rugs by the door and fell silent as the mess filled with commotion. “it helps if you close your eyes and breath slowly” I suggested. She really tried but was to unused to being on the hard floor with only a rug beneath her so wiggle enough to agitate me. losing parts of conversation made me bitter in a way i new i couldn’t let foster. It was okay mostly they talked about the war and how nice it was that they had better food now that the queen was in residence.  

Though I had cordial relations with many girls through my life living so closely with one in such distress was a distressing  difference. Lynda was not the perfected front facing image that we all put on before any social interaction. she was a scared imprisoned princess with no way out. Her emotions raged and quelled in messy cycles. lucky she was so frail that her rages were mostly harmless tantrums that wore her out, but her malaise scared me, she would just stare off in the distance for hours at a time, book or project left forgotten in hands that were slack from dissociation to reality.  

As much as my sanity was tied to my routine and exercise Lyndas was tide to sunlight. Just like a plant she seemed to wither with out light but once things settled and we started on a project we would sit in the sun beams for hours and she would come back to her self. once herself again she would do all manor of things to improve our situation getting me to help move the book shelf to shelter out peavy hole then moving it again putting our thinnest linen on the tapestry bar between the book shelf and the wall so more light could come though when using the privy she also used some of the useless old scrap clothes to make a mop so she could properly clean every inch of the floor, walls and with my help celling. To my grate pleasure the window once cleaned let in much more light. which only improved our situation. 

Over long hours she painstakingly disassembled her wedding costume. I had observed her need of light on her skin  so i spent that time I making her thickly padded tea gowns with out sleeves so her skin wouldn't become as sickly pail as mine had. Though I wasn’t sure her caramel skin could become as light as mine. 

She also hung up as much of the extra fabric as she could figure out how too with what little we had. she even devised a way to not just make a line but but hang it so that we could hand our washing out like the villagers did though it was indoors it was so much better then laying them flat on the floor as I have been doing that could never get clean enough.

Nights were an oddity. every night I would go to bed with the light and she would sit up usually crying. then at some point she would make her way into the bed. I felt entirely conflicted about this but who was I to tell a queen she couldn’t sleep in the only bed I also didn’t want to give up my bed so we just did not discus it. 

Over the first two months we started falling in to a healthier routine getting to know each other and how much space each of us needed. That was a key of out confinement we needed our own space and activities. Lynda was focused on the unmaking of her wedding costume. I found her way of going about it irritating. I would have removed all the adornments and sorted them out clearly. then undo the panels ending with the embroidery. Lynda undid the panels first then worked on removing the adornments and any golden thread in the embroidery One panel at a time! She also refused my help with anything to do with the costume she really had a vendetta against that thing. so my help, recommendation or advice were not welcome. 

Lynda was really unhelpful with any tailoring so I made all of our clothes as she had none and I had put on enough muscles that all my dresses fit wrong I also wanted to have more modest sleep were for both of us. so both of us had plenty to do on our own and had no one else to talk to as the solder never responded to any of her cries, screams or desperate please for help and freedom. Altho I was her only companion she was not overly friendly or warm with me. In moment of her rage she would accuse me of being one of her captors and her torturer.    

I was so thankful to not be alone that I let her moods roll over me, when she was doing well she was a good companion and smart enough to have in depth conversations ranging from fashion, food all the way to the politics of our two country’s. 

I woke up on night with her shacking me gently  “shhhh come here”

I fallowed her to the window were she pointed out the mop haired solder with his newest romance they had already been at it for a time I was flummox as to what I was supposed to say to her about his interaction.  I whispered “we should not disturb them they have chosen a privet space.”

she leaned close to whisper in my ear “I was told your country did not do such things and it was not to ever be discussed.”

the hair on my neck stood up and my face burned hot as we watch the solders continue their passion now removing the new mans trousers wail our retaining man went to his knees to now use his mouth to encourage his newest conquest. I wanted to pay her back for putting me in such a compromising moment so adjusted my stance so I was just behind her leaning down just enough to whisper below her ear “this is certainly not a thing I have ever known of but he seems to know what he is doing and brings, often a new man even few weeks. I never know how they go about it or why but it is something of devotion for him no matter what sort he brings out here.” 

she tor her eyes from the men and looked at me “were you not educated on the ways of love making?”

My cheeks burned hotter but I could not look away from the men it looked so rough but they clearly were both enjoying the activity more then I had enjoyed anything in my life! “there was no point in me learning such things. whatever they are doing I am not capable of.” as I said it my body argued with me so I clarified “and anything I could do would be a sin out of wedlock so is to be vehemently discharged.”

we watch in silent till the show was finished and the men walk away in turn. I sighed as the only real break in the doldrum was over. As I pulled myself back into the bed I wounded what they really felt when they did such things.

 Lynda popped into bed beside me. she had apparently no felling of reserve for us sharing a bed any longer so continuing to whisper “so you have never touched your self for pleasure?” she had a mischievous air to her voice that I had not herd before and I really didn’t want to be left alone with my thoughts and question. so made my self respond.

“My care takers were never cruel to me but when I was young and was… just pushing against things to often… it was made clear that of all the graces, luxuries and blessings afforded e for my royal standing all were overshadow by what is hidden in my under garments. That if I were ever to make use of anything under my dresses I would find my life greatly harmed. from that moment I was kept strictly bound in long corsets to remind me of my place and how I was to comport my self.” it was always so strange how freely I spoke to her of thing that i could never open up to even my self about but in this cell anything to talk about some something to fill the hours. 

she rolled over on to her back gazing at the dark celling “ we ladies of high court our thought our bodies early so when we marry we may properly make many health children. we are taught that passion on both parties is the best way to help in such missions so we have many books for our education and to that end our family are quite large.”

How different our country’s were “ so why do the solders do such things if no children may be made?” it seemed the safest question. 

she laughed the first time I had herd her laugh it was small and a little strained but it was like a fresh breeze from her soul “because it feels good, really good.” she sighed disheartened again “if you were at my court I would give instructions for you to undertake in your room alone but it looks as if either of us will be free to have the little escape. even that is taken from us.” 

I was a bit confused but if there was something more she could have Wanted to give it to her “I may not know precisely what you are speaking of but this is you home now. If you have a way of finding escape I will not stop you. As with the necessaries I have been here longe enough to barely exist at all so can leave you too it if every you need.” my ability’s to disappear even in this cell were disturbing to even me at this point and if she needed time alone she would have the best i could provide.

“you are such a said ghost my friend, removed fist from your  family. then your bodies pleasure,  then from all humanity. Are you my fait to become a wisp forgotten and said, valiantly  fighting to still exist and keep my sanity?” her voice was cracking ready to cry at the said look at her future.

her moods vexed me but she wasn’t wrong in this thought of me but her own fait would be different “no you are a queen, some day in the distant future you will have to be rescued from here when my brother figures out that he can only live on as his legacy, then you will be a mother of a nation and have many tiny children that will hopefully make this county better.” I had realized long ago she was the only hope for my country and to save everyone I cared for I had to support Lynda with all I had.

she scootched up agents me and resting her hand on my chest “I could teach you pleasure in exchanged for you keeping me sane. I know I have raged sense coming here, I am so far out side my self in all this. I wish we had met in..  another life. I do hate you for being related to my husband… but as I am his wife you are just as unavoidably stuck to him.” 

“Lynda you don’t owe me anything. we are lost at sea together we must rally together to make some port, if one can be found. your presents alone is more breath of life then I had ever remembered to hope for. Keep living, keep hoping, keep trying that is all I can ask of you.” her hot tears soaked though my shirt but soon she was sleeping. I however was a conflict of feelings still excited by the night viewing and her body pressed against mine vs the knowledge that I would most likely never get to leave this place.

Lynda made more of an effort after that night. She resented me less and even attempted doing the morning exercises though she was much happier to do turns with me around our cell discussing how we could improve our one large room and our living conditions. So we made a habit of doing the circles of our cell daily and any time we needed a break from our main crafts.

 We had crossed some kind of bridge and now shared freely our lives fears and desires. She wanted a family desperately, little girls and boys she could watch grow and love. She wanted to spoil them with beautiful things and give them the best of everything so they would know how loved they were. She spoke of her future children as if she knew them already and had lists of names, many from family members she missed and wanted her children to grow like. She loved her family and had spent her life surrounded by a huge extended family not to mention 4 brothers and 6 sisters. Her life sounded loud and joy filled so I got a much better understanding of how shocking this new confined life must be for her.

In turn I told her how I had learned to love and care for my home village and how I even now worried for all the people that hade held up our estate. I loved telling her about the interplays of each family and how important each person was to the community as a whole. She was keen to understand how much work it took to keep an east running but also added how the gentry in her country worked, the cost of politics and how complicated interpersonal relations were and how vitally  important they were.