(CW: Mentions of sex.) 

"Welcome to the Arukōru Bar!"

The name of my bar rolled off the tongue nicely. It was a literal title, Arukōru meaning alcohol, but it was perfect. Rikiya liked to make fun of it, but Anzai had suggested it and glared at him every time he heard a peep. Rikiya didn't want to mess with the bull so he shut up.

Luckily my bar was successful in the years that followed after opening. It brought joy to my heart every time I saw my customers happy and comfortable. I once tried to live at the bar, sleeping and eating there, but Anzai said that wasn't healthy and dragged me back to my apartment. I cried, not wanting to be separated from my one and only true love. But I sucked it up and just enjoyed the hours I was able to be in the bar.

Love began to be a bit of a sore subject for me when I made the mistake of falling for someone in my late teen years who abandoned me after giving me my first kiss. Since then, I'd never dated nor gotten intimate with someone. I turned twenty-five recently and have been still living the life of a complete virgin with abysmal romantic experience. I had decided to accept my fate and only love those who couldn't abandon me or refuse my love. That's why I decided to only love my bar from now on and it'll only love me. A match made in heaven, right?

I let out a long sigh. Anzai bumped me with his elbow while getting a drink ready for a customer. I met his eyes.

"Don't sigh so loudly, you have customers to attend to."

Right... I shouldn't be feeling down when I've got my bar and my lovely customers all around me every night. I put on a smile and greeted a customer who just entered to sit at the bar counter.

"Good evening, what can I get you?"

"A whiskey sour please."

I grabbed a shaker and a glass to prepare his drink. We made polite conversation and as he drank, he ordered more and his words began to slur.

"You have...ssuch pretty hands," he said while holding mine.

"Why thank you, I like to visit the nail salon and moisturize!"

"Can I jus...hold 'em for a bit?" He began to gently rub my hands on his face.

I began to feel uncomfortable. "I'm afraid that's a service you'll have to pay for. Sorry for the inconvenience."

"'S no problem... I'll pay..." He pulled cash out of his pockets and I felt I had to comply with what he wanted.

Of course, even if this is a host bar where the employees will do your bidding in exchange for extra tips, I allow all of my employees to refuse when they're uncomfortable. I decided to let the man have his innocent fun with my hands if he wanted to pay for it that badly. I usually let my friends provide the services though. It'd be hard to provide service and mix drinks at the same time.

Anzai came up behind me, quietly speaking in my ear. "Are you alright? Should I help you refuse him?"

"I'm alright. He looks half-asleep anyway. I think he'll stop soon."

I put on a polite smile as the customer murmured to himself and gently held my hands. He eventually did stop, thanked me for the drinks and my time while taking out a few more bills, and hobbled out of the bar. I was glad to have such polite customers.

Once the man was gone, Anzai pulled me to the sink and began washing my hands.

"Anzai...!" I exclaimed, surprised.

"Make sure you wash your hands after touching strangers," he said.

"It's not like he's a wild animal!"

"You never know."

"Anzai?!"

"Hey, boss!" I heard Rikiya call me so I turned my head. An awkward looking man stood behind him, trying not to make eye contact with anyone. Rikiya leaned over the bar counter. "I'm heading out, don't wait up for me."

"Sounds good, see you tomorrow!"

I watched him leave with the man. While this was a male host club, more men than women came here. I think the reason was because of Rikiya who was willing to do more for money than the others. When he first mentioned what he wanted to do, I was so surprised and concerned. He got really mad at me when I expressed that. He usually got mad no matter what I would say to him, like he hated me talking to him at all, but he was even more so at that time. It really shocked me. I decided to never bring it up again.

Anzai dried my hands with a hand towel. "We should text him later."

"Yeah..." I wanted to say all of my customers were polite and kind, but there could be some bad apples within them. If Rikiya slept with that customer and things went awry, it'd be very bad. Rikiya told me to trust him and not get the police involved until he allowed it. He said I could get my bar shut down by revealing what goes on here...

"He wouldn't put the bar in jeopardy," Anzai said as if reading my mind.

I looked up at him. "I know I allowed him to provide those services since he wanted to make more money, but the consequences still scare me. Is this even right?"

He put the hand towel aside. "He's not doing anything he doesn't want to. And like I said, he wouldn't do anything to put the bar in danger. It'll be alright."

My fingers lingered in his hand. He could have pulled away and dropped it, but he stayed. Whenever I got to feel his warmth, my heart ached. I wanted something I knew I'd never get to have. Him.

I pulled my hand away and sighed. "Fine, even if he acts like he hates me, this bar, and everything under the sun, he's careful. He'll be alright."

Anzai nodded. Shukishi came up to the bar next to get my attention.

"It's almost closing time. Can I head out early? I have an appointment," he smiled.

An appointment this late? He could only mean a lady he's been sleeping around with. He has never gone that far with customers unlike Rikiya. He might always act like a perfect gentleman to his female customers and allow a certain degree of consensual kissing and touching, but he never shows them the real him. He's always been a womanizer who would get you in bed before he even remembered to ask for your name.

I waved him off. "You can go. Have fun or whatever."

His smile widened. "Don't be too jealous now. See you tomorrow."

I made a face at his back as he left through the door. He's been teasing me like that since we became friends. He's as straight as a pole, so could he quit flirting with me already?!

"Atsutane," Anzai said, "do you want to leave too?"

I glanced around at the empty bar. Everyone had left before I knew it.

"That's alright, I'll help clean up and leave when you guys leave!"

"You're my only loyal employee..." I fake cried while I held his hand.

"You can rely on me!" He beamed.

Anzai gently chopped my head with his hand. "Clean up quickly so we can go."

I sighed as I turned around to grab a sponge and a dirty glass. Anzai cleaned the floor while Atsutane cleaned the tables and bar. We changed the sofa and pillow covers with clean ones and tossed the dirty ones in a hamper in the back to be washed later. We made sure all the machines were off and everything was in order. Then we locked the doors and went out the back way.

"See you guys tomorrow!" Atsutane said.

"Thanks for your hard work, see you tomorrow!" I answered as we parted ways.

Anzai walked with me down the road to catch a taxi. We arrived at an apartment building together and parted ways at different doors. I once suggested we just move in together since we were usually with each other all the time, but he refused. I knew he hadn't forgotten the feelings I once had for him in high school, and although I hadn't talked about them since, he must have been wary about those feelings still being the same. And he was right, I do still like him. In fact, my feelings for him now might be deeper than all those years ago.

Compared to back then, I felt like I shouldn't burden him with my feelings. We were comfortable where we were now. We were going to be close and inseparable friends until the day we died. At least that was how I saw it. I shouldn't do anything to mess that up. So I figured I would only long for him, just like I remembered I longed for my first love. I'm never going to be able to get over this pining, I thought.

Days passed as normally as ever. That is until Atsutane had been acting differently. Everything seemed fine, he came into work and entertained the customers with his travel stories and got tips as usual. It was after hours when he started being weird. He said he'd lock up and we could leave before him. He claimed he just wanted to help me out more since he was grateful for this job. I thought it was a bit strange but decided to let it go. Until he began doing it every night.

"Are you trying to have secret parties here or something?" I blurted out one night.

He looked surprised. "Secret parties? Why would I do that here?"

Right... I forgot his family was rich and probably owned venues to have large parties in... Or at least could easily rent one out on short notice.

I continued my questioning regardless. "Then why do you want to lock up every night?!"

He hesitated. He gave me a nervous smile, just like the past few nights. "Didn't I say why? I just want to help out my amazing boss. I mean, you let me go on long trips whenever I want, what other boss would allow that?"

"That's just because I know you don't actually need this job, but I want you here when you can be. Plus you always come back with entertaining stories for the customers. I'm not losing much here."

"Exactly! That's why you're the best boss! Let me repay you in any way I can!"

"But locking up isn't even something hard to do! Why do you feel like you need to stay here and lock up by yourself?!"

"I promise I'm not having any secret parties! I lock up and leave right after you do!"

"Then why can't we lock up together?!"

"That's...! Well...!"

Almost there... Just a bit more and he'll spill the beans. But Anzai stepped in before I could keep asking him questions.

"If you're having some kind of trouble, just know we're here for you," he said. "You can tell us what's wrong when you're ready. And if you're never ready, that's alright too."

Atsutane lowered his head. Why did Anzai have to be so perfect... Saying the right thing all the time... Respecting people's boundaries... I looked terrible for trying to make him say what was on his mind.

I reluctantly sighed. "Anzai's right. You can tell me when you're ready, or you don't have to ever tell me. I trust you to take care of this bar the same way I do. It doesn't matter who locks up as long as they're responsible and careful."

Atsutane sighed too and shook his head. "It's alright that you want to know... I just didn't want to involve anyone in my problems... But at this point, I'm not sure what to do. Can I be a nuisance and confide in you guys?" His milk chocolate eyes pleaded with me and they almost looked like a puppy's. There was no way I could say no to that.

"Of course you can confide in us! We're here to help," I smiled.

He began his story. We were aware he came from a rich family but I never heard how it affected him. Apparently his parents were always uptight and nagged at him to be something and do all the right things in life by their standards. One of his main concerns was that they were pushing for him to get married.

"They always have some new girl for me to meet..." He said. "I'm sure they're all lovely women, but I've never thought about getting married and I have no desire to. They also want me to get married quickly so I can have children immediately and the family will have an heir to keep the bloodline going. I fear they messed up by giving birth to me...because I have no intention of having children and furthering the bloodline, for my own selfish reasons..."

"That's tough..." I said. "They should respect what you want to do with your life and body."

He nodded. "They're so stuck in their ways and they think marriage is a must for everyone. Even if I express the fact that I don't want to get married and have children, they still say that feeling will go away if I meet the right person. I'm afraid I'll never meet the right person though. I found out something about myself...and I don't think that future is ever a possibility for me. I'm alright with it though. I just wish I could make my parents understand."

"May I ask what you found out?"

"Yeah, I want you guys to know. I believe I'm aroace, which means I don't really feel romantic or sexual attraction at all. I do like people though, talking with them and being friends. But loving someone and being intimate with someone sounds so foreign and strange. I don't know how to explain to my parents so they understand that though. I don't know how to explain to anyone who feels otherwise. I'm not sure if you can understand if you don't feel the same way..."

"I think I get some of that, but of course since I am attracted to others, it's hard to fully understand. I think we just have to accept and appreciate you for who you are, even if we can't fully relate. If your parents don't want to try to understand you, then that's on them..."

"Thanks... I knew you'd be understanding. I just need to figure out how to get my parents off my back. Lately they've had our butler following me around so I've been trying to wait him out at the bar after hours. I have to sneak away before he catches me and brings me back home. I've been trying to stay in hotels but he finds me there too... I know he's just doing what my parents tell him and I don't hate him for that, he's actually quite nice. But I do wish he could just let me go and stop following me."

"That doesn't sound fun... Sounds like you need a place to hide out for a bit."

"Yeah, I feel like if I continue refusing to see them, they'll mellow out. I did that once a while ago when they were bothering me about taking over the family business, which I also don't want to do, and for some reason they stopped talking about it so much. I think if I just spend more time away from them they'll eventually stop mentioning marriage so much."

"Hm... Then how about you stay at my apartment? I've got room for another person if you're willing."

"Really? You'll let me stay?"

"Our apartments are quite small," Anzai chimed in.