"I just typed in his dumbass first name into the search bar, and this article popped up," Bones explains as he scrolls through his phone and then shows us the screen. "A bar tagged him in a post hanging out with another guy. Maybe if we go there, we can ask him if he's a regular."

Felix and I crowd around his phone and I snatch it out of his skeletal hand to get a closer look. Sure enough, Ender smiles back at us, his long blonde hair glistening in the multicolored lighting as he hangs off the shoulder of this super good-looking guy with a wave of chocolate brown hair and a smile with the straightest, whitest teeth I'd ever seen. 

But even as handsome and bangable as the guy looked, I didn't find him particularly interesting, nor did he get my blood boiling and my loins tingling. No, what got me hard was the fact that Ender wasn't just a figment of my imagination or some drunken hallucination from the night before. He was really out there somewhere, evidently hanging out in random bars with guys who looked like they could bounce quarters off their nipples in their spare time. 

"This picture was from a year ago," I point out after my initial shock wears off and I hand Bones his phone back. "Do you know how many people crawl through bars every day? What makes you think they're going to randomly remember Ender after seeing a thousand guys like him?"

"And your idea to comb through three hundred McDonald's is any better? Give me a fucking break!" Bones shoots back, his eye sockets narrowing. 

Touche.

"It's not a bar. It's a club called Bussy's," Felix informs us as he pulls up the directions on his own bright pink phone with a sparkling case. "It's only thirty minutes away from us, so if we leave now, we can get there before the live band starts playing, look for Ender, and maybe have a few cocktails. I've never been clubbing before, but this place sounds really fun, and it looks super cute."

I had no idea what I was getting into, like a complete and total dumbass, but I finally agreed to drive The Pink Nightmare, me, and Skeletor to this place to look for Ender.

I assumed that a club called Bussy's either had a bus theme going on or that maybe they really enjoyed public transportation for some reason. This made me feel a little better about scouring a club in the middle of the night because I was imagining this chill, upscale little hole-in-the-wall with a bunch of hipsters drinking mojitos and listening to Hozier. 

But when I pull up to the curb across the street from the neon pink building, roughly half an hour later, there's a line of gays stretching down the block, and most of them were in leather, straps, or various costumes that left a trail of sequins behind in their wake. 

Even the big, glowing pink Bussy's sign hung up on the wall had a suspicious butt-crack swirl included in the logo and a cute little heart beside it.

"Hey," I tell Felix nervously, and I turn to look at him as he quickly unbuckles his seatbelt, a huge smile on his face. "What kind of club was this supposed to be again?"

"Oh." Felix blinks a little at me in surprise and pauses as he hangs halfway out of the car. "Hector! I'm so sorry! I figured you would know because you're gay, but not the funfetti kind of gay. I mean, the plain cheesecake kind of gay, which is still just as good since it's cheesecake."

"What?" I ask him.

"It's a gay club, bro," Bones drawls from the backseat, where he's lounging in a pair of sunglasses, his arms crossed behind his head. "You'll probably find a few heteros in there, but it's mostly a place for gay people to be themselves and hang out and drink without worrying about getting hate. I had a brother who took me to one a few years ago; it was cool. That's where I met my girlfriend. You get me?"

I start to answer, but before I can, Felix springs out of the car and slams his door closed. 

"Felix!" I unbuckle myself and scramble out after him, breathless and flushed. "There's no way in hell I'm going in there!" I shout at him as I follow him into the middle of the street. "I'm not even dressed to go clubbing! I'm in a fucking Simpson's T-shirt and jeans!"

Felix whirls around to face me when I grab him by the wrist and spin him in my direction.

"Look, Hector!" he tells me. "We're both looking for one thing, and that's Ender—the Harbinger. But if you're not willing to go into a gay club because you're scared, then you obviously don't want him as bad as I do! It's fine if you want to stay outside, but I'm going to keep looking, and I'm going to have fun while I'm at it!"

He snaps his wrist out of my grip, and I stand there and watch him sprint across the street. 

"What's the matter with you?" Bones asks me as he appears at my side.

"I don't know," I reply, eyeing the building hesitantly. "What if they don't like me in there?"

"What, are you five?" Bones demands, "Who cares? People are going to hate you either way. You dress like an asshole, and you kind of talk like one, too. That's one of the reasons why I robbed you earlier."

I shoot him a sour look.

"Just don't think about it and try to loosen up," he replies with a shrug. "I guarantee you're going to have a good time in there either way."

The fact that a pile of bones was giving me actual, legitimate advice surprised me, but it works. 

I start into the club after Felix and hold my breath.