The afternoon came faster than Nao would’ve liked, and it seemed like only the blink of an eye before the five o’clock bell was ringing. Soon, Rin and Wen Xulong would be coming out of the gym. Nao had been sitting alone on the steps for the last hour, waiting for them and reflecting on the last two months.
Although it had been such a short period that he knew Rin and Wen Xulong, Nao cared deeply for both of them. If their ties were cut, he wasn’t sure what he would do. Without the help they had lent him, he truly would’ve been lost after coming back to life. For that, he would always be grateful.
But he was unsure whether the bonds he had formed with Rin would survive past tonight.
As lab partners, Rin and Nao would be forced to work much more closely together—which wasn’t a problem in itself, except for the fact that they would also need access to each other’s personal archives and databases, and that they would be seeing a lot of each other in the metamatrix for studying.
While Nao had a new set of archives and databases, he still relied mainly on the ones he’d had in his past life, which contained all of his project notes and designs. Since this was the case, this also meant that it was the one Rin would need access to. . .and in order for Rin to access it, Nao would have to reveal his real identity.
Nao had planned on doing so anyway, but he wished it could be under different circumstances. He could only pray that Rin wouldn’t hate him for it.
“Nao-chan, you should’ve gone home!” came Wen Xulong’s cheerful voice from a short distance.
When Nao turned to look, he was walking toward him with Rin at his side, waving. “It’s not healthy to sit out in the cold like this.”
Nao stood, smiling. “It’s alright, I didn’t get cold.”
“Your lips are blue again,” Rin said, frowning.
Nao’s smile shifted into a surprised expression. “Oh, really? I didn’t notice. . .”
Rin walked forward, stripping off his hoodie. Before Nao even had time to think, the still-warm hoodie had been stuffed over his head and pulled down, enveloping his torso. It was very comfortable and smelled like jasmine; Nao’s heart fluttered.
“Wait somewhere warm next time,” Rin said.
“. . .Okay,” Nao said quietly. “Um. . .Message me when you get home, we can exchange codes then.”
”Right, you guys are lab buddies now,” Wen Xulong said. He clapped Rin on the shoulder, then patted Nao’s head. “Well, you two have fun with that. I’m gonna head home now.”
Rin called out those two foreign syllables again, lifting his hand to Wen Xulong in a lazy wave. Nao also waved. “Bye, Xulong-ge.”
Wen Xulong grinned cheerfully and waved back, then descended the steps and hopped into a travel pod, zipping off in a flash. Rin and Nao stood alone together by the station; Rin spoke first.
“I’ll text you after dinner. You eat too, okay?”
Nao nodded. “Mm.”
He watched as Rin went down and climbed into a travel pod as well. Just before the door closed, Nao blurted out, “Rin-san!”
Rin paused, then poked his head out. “Yeah?”
“I. . .I’m really glad to be your friend! So please don’t forget that!”
Rin looked two parts confused, eight parts flustered. “Um. . .I won’t. Promise.”
With that, he let the door fall shut, and the pod sped away.
Nao was still overcome with anxiety, but he too returned home. He warmed up a batch of soba and stir-fried it quickly, then forced himself to eat even though his appetite was shot with nerves. After all, if he didn’t eat, Rin would be upset, and he didn’t want to give Rin any more reasons to be angry with him. It was already bad enough that he’d kept his identity a secret for so long.
After shoveling down his meal, Nao took several deep breaths, then went into his room and activated the MAP.
In his first week especially, Nao had spent hours standing here on the MAP, browsing through the metamatrix and attempting to piece together a solid understanding of the current world and the events he had missed succeeding his death. After that, he’d searched for a job, and more recently, he’d studied. The MAP was well-attuned to him, and he entered the metamatrix as easily as a fish slipping into the water.
Almost as soon as he was in, there came a ding and a message interface popped up in front of Nao.
[Rin-san: I’m done eating]
[Rin-san: Do you want to exchange codes via message or in-person?]
Nao steeled himself with a few more deep breaths, then messaged back.
[You: Let’s exchange in-person. My invite code is 566729]
[Rin-san: Alright. See you in a minute]
Nao tapped out of the interface. His heart was racing out of his chest, but it was more than time for him to tell Rin who he really was. Still, it was probably best that Rin didn’t see him right away upon entry, so he called out, “MEI-chan?”
MEI materialized in front of Nao, already holding the cloak he’d been about to ask for. With a kind smile, she draped it around his shoulders and said, “Don’t worry so much, Nao-nii.”
Nao pulled up the hood. “. . .I’ll try my best.”
A join request appeared before Nao. He accepted it before he could chicken out; MEI faded out of view while Rin’s figure slowly formed from blue pixels. Within two seconds, he was standing in front of Nao, dressed in casual clothes.
He lifted one hand in a wave. “I’m here. Your connection is good?”
Nao softly cleared his throat. “Mm. . .My connection is fine.”
Rin blinked in surprise upon hearing Nao’s voice, and a light blush crept over his cheeks. “So. . .Are we starting with mine or yours?”
“. . .We’ll start with mine,” Nao said, trying to keep his voice light. “Here.”
He stepped a little closer to Rin and handed him two keys—one for Nao Suruna’s dataset, one for Takara Nao’s.
Rin looked down at them and frowned. “Is this a spare? Wait. . .”
He read over the name on the second key once, then twice, and a third time before glancing up at Nao again. There was confusion in his eyes.
Nao swallowed hard, scraped together what he hoped was a decent smile, and forced himself to lift his hands to push the hood back. It fell gently on Nao’s shoulders, leaving his face in full view; Rin stared at him in shock, lips parted slightly.
When Rin still showed no other reaction, Nao pushed himself to smile a little wider. “. . .I should’ve told you sooner than this. I’m sorry.”
Rin finally seemed to break free of his stunned state. His gaze was ambivalent—confused, a little shocked, a little hurt, but the part that made Nao’s heart sink furthest was the guardedness that had returned after so long.
“Why. . .why didn’t you tell me?” Rin asked, expending great effort to keep his voice toneless.
Nao looked down, his smile turning bitter. His eyes pricked; he held the tears back and answered, “I’m sorry. I thought that if I told you, you would treat me differently. I. . .I wanted to be your friend, so. . .I kept putting it off. I was in the wrong.”
“. . .We still could’ve become friends even if you had told me,” Rin said, a trace of disgruntlement surfacing in his voice.
“No. . .we couldn’t,” Nao said.
Rin frowned. “Why not?”
Nao looked up and tried to make his smile cheerful again. When he spoke, his voice shook a little.
“Because friends don’t idolize each other.”
A look of shock returned to Rin’s face. For a moment, Nao was confused, wondering what about his answer was so bewildering. It wasn’t until he felt warmth slide down the curve of his face that he realized what had stunned Rin this time. His smile froze.
He was crying.
Nao cursed himself internally. He’d tried so hard to hold his tears in, and yet they’d still slipped out after only a couple of minutes. He had promised himself that no matter what happened, he wouldn’t do anything that could make Rin feel guilty, yet he was already crying.
In an attempt to salvage the situation, Nao plastered a grin onto his face, his eyes curving. “Sorry. . .I didn’t mean to start—”
His voice cut off abruptly when a warm, lightly calloused thumb brushed the tears from his face. Nao’s exaggerated grin melted away, freeing up his sight; Rin’s face filled his vision. The other boy was frowning, but there wasn’t even a whisper of any hard feelings in his expression, nor in his gaze. Those aquamarine eyes were softer than a summer breeze as they rested on Nao’s.
“. . .I’m really dumb,” Rin said softly after a moment, having wiped away all of Nao’s tears. “I should’ve guessed way back when we first met at school. It was so obvious, I can’t believe I never figured it out.”
Nao’s eyes were rimmed in hot tears once more. “. . .You don’t. . .hate me?”
A lot happened in a short second; Nao’s glasses were plucked off, and he was pulled suddenly into a tight embrace, his face buried in soft fabric that smelled like jasmine. Sandwiched against Rin’s chest like this, he could feel the vibrations of his voice.
“Nao-kun, I thought I already told you,” Rin said. “I’d still want to be your friend, even if I found out you’d kept huge secrets from me.”
Nao’s fingers curled into Rin’s shirt, and a relieved, watery laugh escaped his throat. “Right. . .”
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