Nao sat down at his usual table and sighed aloud in relief.
He had told the teacher that morning his true identity, and he in turn announced it to the class, and their class in turn spread the news through the school—and as a result, Nao was now popular. Just getting from the classroom to the cafeteria had taken twice as long as usual.
“Nao-chan, you made it,” Wen Xulong said cheerfully.
Nao gave a weak laugh and slumped onto the table. “Yep. . .”
Rin rubbed soft circles on Nao’s shoulder until he sat back up. Nao heaved a sigh and got out his lunchbox. After he pulled the top off, Rin silently placed a few manjuu in one of the compartments. Nao blushed a little, then put a small cinnamon roll in Rin’s box in return.
Wen Xulong observed this exchange and suddenly felt like a third wheel. He had only just opened his mouth to remind the other two boys of his presence when he spotted a younger classmate of theirs approaching their table.
Having been Rin’s friend throughout their teenage years, Wen Xulong had borne personal witness to at least ninety percent of the crush confessions Rin had been on the receiving end of. As someone who was attractive, aloof, smart, and rich, he had dozens of admirers.
After being forced to reject handfuls of hopeful girls, Rin had come out as gay, only to be faced with a constant stream of hopeful boys—with the addition of a rare few ladies who still wished to tell Rin of their feelings, even if he'd never reciprocate. Not only had Rin’s coming-out failed to drive all of the girls away, it had even backfired and brought twice as many confessions in the future.
In light of his parents’ death, the constant admissions of love had stopped for a while, but it seemed they were finally returning now as the younger girl drew nearer to their table, a letter clasped in her hands.
Wen Xulong discreetly tapped the tabletop a couple of times—a signal he had come up with for Rin at least three years earlier. Rin looked up at him warily, then turned to follow his line of sight just as the girl reached them.
Rin took in the sight before him and wished he could vanish into the air.
The girl spoke up timidly, holding her letter out with both hands. “Shi—Shiniama-san. . .please accept—”
The girl broke off as Rin’s fingers closed over hers, folding them around the letter. Rin gently pushed her hands away, back toward her own chest.
“. . .I can’t. I’m sorry.”
The girl’s fingers tightened a little on the envelope, crinkling the paper. She drew a breath, then asked in a small voice, “But. . .why not?”
Plenty of people had asked this question of Rin before; his go-to answers were simple, believable excuses—he wasn’t allowed to date, or he was too busy for relationships, things like that. Yet this time, he said, “There’s already someone I like, and I’m also not interested in girls. I’m sorry.”
Both the girl’s and Wen Xulong’s eyes fell immediately on Nao, who was sitting rather close to Rin.
Nao was staring at his lunch with a pensive frown, holding his chopsticks between his lips. With a tiny crease sitting smack-dab in the middle of his brow line, he looked very troubled.
Wen Xulong was well aware that Nao’s feelings for Rin were a little too intense to be categorized as platonic. But it had seemed—until recently—that Rin was as romantically uninterested in Nao as he was anyone else. Rin’s response just now prompted Wen Xulong to recall Rin’s behavior around Nao of late.
Of course, Wen Xulong had begun to find Rin’s attitude toward Nao more and more suspicious, and thinking on it now, his suspicion became surety. The constant blushing, the soft gazes, the hand-holding—not to mention all the little gifts like Pocky and manjuu.
The girl lowered her hands and her gaze, putting on a smile. “. . .I see. Sorry for bothering you. I. . .hope everything goes well with that person.”
She turned and walked away quickly, red-faced. She returned to a table already stuffed to capacity, where her friends jostled her shoulders and joked around until she cracked a genuine grin.
Wen Xulong spoke up at last. “You guys have any plans after school today?”
The two answered in unison: “Study.”
Then Nao chuckled, blushing a bit, and continued, “I don’t have work tonight, so I figured I could finish up homework and maybe watch a movie in my spare time, or listen to some music. I’m mostly caught up when it comes to history and stuff like that, but I’m still. . .behind the times as far as entertainment goes.”
“Ah, you should watch A Silent Voice!” Wen Xulong said. “It’s an older movie, but it’s still a fan-favorite even today. It’s a great story.”
“. . .A Silent Voice is a little heavy,” Rin said. “Something like Howl’s Moving Castle is better for a casual night in.”
Nao raised his hand, then said, “Um, Rin-san, I’ve already seen Howl’s Moving Castle. . .It was one of my favorites as a little kid. I’d heard of A Silent Voice when I was younger, but I never got the chance to watch it. Is it good?”
“It’s great, but it’s a heart-wrencher,” Rin said. “If you’re up for crying a lot, then go for it.”
Nao frowned, looking ponderous. While he was in this distracted state, he picked up and bit into one of the manjuu Rin had given him; his eyes widened a bit. “Rin-san, these are really good. . .”
Rin flushed. “Mm. . .Sandie-san made them. I’ll let her know you liked them.”
Wen Xulong nearly ruptured his tummy holding back his laughter. He wasn’t sure what amazed him more—the fact that Nao couldn’t tell Rin was lying, or the fact that Rin had actually made something that tasted good. His mind was blown.
Lunch passed quickly; Wen Xulong and Rin ushered Nao back into the classroom and managed to make it in the nick of time. The three took their seats, and class started again, but Nao was hardly able to focus. There was only one thing on his mind—Rin’s voice, echoing and bouncing back and forth incessantly.
“There’s already someone I like.”
. . .Who? Nao thought with a frown, biting his eraser.
Nao’s only mutual friend with Rin was Wen Xulong, but he knew there were five other boys around his age on his basketball team, and plenty more just in their class. And there were no guarantees that the person Rin liked was even a student at their school—they could be anyone. The only things Nao knew were that they weren’t a girl, and they weren’t Wen Xulong. . .
. . .Unless they actually were.
Nao suddenly felt a little panicky. What if Wen Xulong actually was the one Rin liked?
But. . .Xulong-ge has a boyfriend! Nao thought, frowning deeper. And it really doesn’t seem like Rin-san likes him. . .But if he does. . .Wait, it’s also because of me that Xulong-ge has a boyfriend, did I accidentally ruin Rin-san’s chances? Ah, what am I saying, there’s no way Rin-san likes Xulong-ge. . .ugh, unless there is!
Nao was stuck in a loop of arguing with himself. He’d been strangely bothered by the idea that Rin liked someone, but thinking that it might be someone they both knew and saw every day made him feel even worse. The thought of seeing Rin with someone else made his eyes sting, made his chest feel tight. He hated it. After all, Rin was his friend—if he got with someone, Nao should be happy for him, as he was for Wen Xulong. Or did he feel so unhappy because Rin was attractive to him? Was that a normal thing?
Nao only escaped this vicious cycle when his teeth split the eraser in half, leaving him with a chunk of rubber in his mouth. He looked at the now-eraserless end of his pencil, then spat the bitten-off piece into his palm and discarded it.
In the end, thinking about it was just going to make him feel depressed, so he turned his attention back to schoolwork and pushed the other matter from his mind.
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